Cipher (23 page)

“Please what?” He tugged at the button on her pants.

“Your mouth…” She didn’t finish. Not when it might distract him from finally taking off her pants.

“My mouth,” he agreed. Then he closed his lips around one nipple and sucked hard as he opened her pants.

It felt so good she spent a terrified moment wondering if her shields had shattered. But no—it was her own pleasure, physical and mounting under the skillful play of his tongue. Or maybe deeper than physical, as if his calculated, deliberate seduction stroked across months of fantasy and years of longing.

She needed him. Wanted him. Loved him.

Andrew’s movements took on an edge of desperation as he yanked her pants and underwear off her hips at the same time. He groaned without lifting his mouth or breaking contact, and his hand slipped between her thighs.

This was critical overload. Too good, too much, and not enough by half. She tried to move her legs apart and groaned when she found them tangled in her pants. “Off,” she whispered, twisting to try to reach her clothing without losing the heat of his mouth or the sweet relief of his fingers.

But she lost both as he straightened, up on his knees, and tossed the rest of her clothes aside. “Night stand,” he whispered.

It took her five seconds to understand and twice that to roll to her hands and knees and drag open the drawer. Inside she found an unopened box of condoms tucked next to a couple of paperbacks. Mysteries with vague covers and huge shiny fonts, and she couldn’t believe she was paying attention to books when she could hear Andrew unzipping his pants.

She grabbed the box of condoms and turned to find him naked beside the bed, staring down at her with lust and desire and a tenderness that turned her inside out. “Lie down, Kat.”

For the first time, she saw the cracks in the control, saw that the restraint that seemed so much a part of him was hard-won and too easily shaken by everything she did.

So she eased back against the mattress, the box clutched in one hand. He took it from her with careful movements, pulled one free and put it on.

The bed dipped under his weight as he stretched out beside her, still moving slowly, deliberately. He touched her face, smoothing his thumb over her lower lip.

“How?” she whispered, unable to look away from his face. “How do you want me?”

“Just like this.” Andrew dropped quick, soft kisses on her face as he moved over her and settled between her thighs. The head of his cock rested against her, ready but not pressing deeper.

It could be anticipation…or fear. Kat rubbed one foot over his calf as she nipped at his chin. “I know I’m human. I know you don’t want to hurt me. But I could stop you, Andrew, no matter what. You can let go, because I’ve
felt
what’s inside you, and I trust you.”

“I know.” He kissed her, his hips flexing. “That’s the best part.” The flexing turned into a gentle rock, forward and back, each motion bringing him just a little deeper inside her.

If her empathy had been weaker, she could have shared it with him. Opened her heart and wallowed in the pleasure he took from her, from how it must feel to press forward one torturous inch at a time. She could have given him the giddy joy that accompanied her body stretching to accommodate his cock.

Dropping her shields would leave them vulnerable to the uncontrolled feedback, but she had words. And she used them, clutching at his shoulders as his next rock pushed deep enough to steal her breath. “I’ve wanted this for so long. You, inside me.”

He gritted his teeth, and his arms shook, muscles standing out in sharp relief. “Did you mean it? Let go?”

A fraction of his strength would leave her broken, and she didn’t care. Couldn’t imagine a world where any need he had could be met with her pain. “Show me. All the things we’ve been missing.”

Andrew bent his head and caught her mouth with a hoarse groan as he thrust deeper—not too deep, but enough to dance the line between too good and too much. Moaning, she tightened her legs around his hips, a silent plea for a moment to adjust, then licked his lip.

He froze, then returned the tiny caress. “A minute?”

“A few seconds,” she corrected, rocking up. Taking him, taking the pleasure and the hint of discomfort, the sensation somehow more perfect because it was as imperfect as they were. The rough edges and pain made it real, made it worth it, because it wasn’t easy and they wanted each other enough to fight.

So she bit his lip and growled. “Deeper. I want all of you.”

He echoed her growl as he eased into her, slowly but not stopping until his hips rested against hers. “Better?”

“Perfect. Told you it would be…” It was the best she could manage when every sense was overwhelmed with him. She smoothed her hands over his tense shoulders, restless now. She tried to ignore the heat of his skin and the way his cock felt, buried so deep. Ignored it just long enough to issue
her
warning. “If—if I come, I could slip a little. Even with my shields in place…if I’m feeling that much, some of it might leak through.”

“
If
you come?” he asked, his voice tight.

Kat groaned and dug her head back against the bed. “Why do you think the porn-star orgasms freaked me out so much? It’s never been—been easy before. But it’s never—” She met his eyes, his wild, damn-near feral eyes, and wondered if her heart was in her own. “It’s never been you.”

“It’s me.” He stared down at her as he began to move. “It’ll always be me now.”

The way it should be, the way it needed to be, and she
was
glad she wasn’t a virgin, that she knew how to find his pace and meet his steady thrusts, that she could enjoy the friction and the skillful way he found the right angle, like he’d turned all of that intense concentration on claiming her through pleasing her.

And he did. It got harder to focus with every moment, the slow build of give and take, of deep thrusts and the way he lifted one of her legs higher on his back and growled low in his throat.

Words began to bubble up, a lifetime habit of babbling taking a turn for the obscene as his next advance kindled a wild anticipation, a climax suspended out of reach. “Harder, you can fuck me harder. Make me come, make me beg to
stop
coming…”

Andrew covered her mouth with his and thrust harder, the muscles in his back rippling as he moved. So good, so good she couldn’t stop the frantic animal noises, or the way her fingernails left scratches down his arms when the first heat of orgasm bloomed.

She came in stages, in slow motion, or maybe it just lasted forever. Her body seized, drawing tight and tense. She had time to turn her head and gasp in one frantic breath before everything exploded outwards, pleasure and pain and
her
, all the tension and longing releasing in one moment of utter, reckless abandon.

His arms collapsed, and his elbows dug into the bed as his careful rhythm broke along with his control. “Kat.
Kat
.”

Instinct prompted her, or the vague memory from last time, the echo of his satisfaction. She lifted her chin and turned her head, offering him the vulnerable spot where her pulse beat with the too-quick tempo of her body’s shuddering release.

He bit her as he hit his peak, a rough caress that would surely leave a bruise, but the pain was nothing compared to the sound he made, completion and pleasure so profound that she couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to him.

Just a little, a tiny crack in her outer layer of shields, but Andrew flooded her with a possessive joy that triggered something primal in response. It tumbled free in breathless words, maybe not the right ones for a dominant shapeshifter, but the right ones for them. “I love that you’re mine. I love being yours.”

He rolled to his back, taking her with him, and wrapped both arms around her. He didn’t say anything at first, only panted for breath as his trembling subsided. “Did I hurt you?”

Exasperated, Kat stretched up and bit his chin. Hard.

“Can’t help it,” he murmured with a smile. “Thought you would’ve figured that out by now.”

“Uh-huh.” She settled her cheek back against his chest, where she could enjoy the way his heart thudded loud and fast. “And you need to figure out that if you hurt me, you’ll be the first to know. I’ve got some pretty scary defenses, even when I’m not feeling lethal.”

“Shh.” His thumb stroked over her neck, over the sensitive spot where he’d bitten her. “I meant this.”

Kat shivered and arched into the gentle touch. “It’s a symbol. Even if I didn’t kind of like it, I’d get off on knowing how much
you
like it.”

“It’s not about that,” he protested quietly. “It’s about needing it.”

“The symbol?”

“The
mark
.”

“So that everyone else would know? Or so I would?”

“I don’t know—both?”

She lifted her head so she could meet his eyes. “I
do
know. I think I’ve always known. Maybe that’s why I never pushed, even when everyone laughed and said my big dumb crush wasn’t a secret. I wasn’t ready for this. It was too…forever.”

His expression had turned grave. “It doesn’t have to be, not if it’s too much for you. I swear, Kat, sometimes I think I’d live with half your heart if that was all I could get.”

If he kept saying things like that, her heart might thud its way out of her chest. “You don’t have to. It’s not in very good shape anymore, but it’s all yours.”

“I want it.” Not a shred of doubt. “I love you.”

She’d known. She’d felt it, seen it in the wild colors that surrounded him. But hearing it… Such certainty. Such quiet passion. It tightened her throat until her words came out in a whisper. “I love you too.”

He closed his eyes for a moment before shifting her to the bed, settling her gently. “I’ll be right back.”

Kat eased under the covers, her limbs shaky, as Andrew headed for the bathroom. Her neck throbbed where he’d bit her, and she’d no doubt have the sort of bruise that people pretended not to see but couldn’t stop staring at.

The shapeshifters would recognize the symbol. Julio would probably ignore it. Sera would smile knowingly, and Miguel… Miguel hadn’t felt the need to mark her. It had been part of why they’d worked so well together, that affection that never crossed the line into possession. Sex had fizzled, but their friendship hadn’t.

Except for the fact that she’d been avoiding him since Andrew had come back into her life.

Kat rolled over on her back and closed her eyes. She could think about navigating ex-lovers and shapeshifter instinct in the morning. Tonight was about her, and the man who crawled back into the bed and gathered her close. With Andrew’s arms around her, the world could be just the two of them. Crazy cults and complicated friendships drifted away, leaving her at peace.

They could do this. Together, they could do anything.

Chapter Fourteen

Andrew dodged Kat’s swing and tumbled her to the mat. “I don’t think you
want
to hit me, sweetheart.”

She snarled her frustration before baring her teeth at him. “Oh, I do. I really, really do.”

“I don’t believe you.” Not with the punches she’d been landing, and not when he knew she could hit harder. “I can take it, you know.”

“Doesn’t make me like it.” Sighing, she rolled to her feet and shook her hands. “It was easier to hit Alec. He inspired rage.”

“No argument here.” Andrew arched an eyebrow at her. “While I’m really, really glad you like me, liking me too much to hit me might make this sparring thing difficult.”

Behind him, the top stair creaked. Kat’s gaze jumped past him as Zola spoke. “That is why we will teach you to fight as a team.”

It made sense—but, then again, Zola usually did. Andrew rose and faced her. “Like you and Walker?”

“Yes and no. Together, you will fight with body and mind.” Zola pointed to Kat. “She is holding back. Not fighting as I taught her. Katherine?”

In the mirrors, Andrew saw Kat’s cheeks turn pink. “I didn’t want to hurt him,” she muttered.

If he didn’t know how real her concern was, it would have been mortifying. “Hurt me how?”

Zola leaned back toward the stairs and shouted something in French. Then she gave Kat a stern look.

Kat winced. “Callum taught me a few things… I don’t know, kind of like punching someone with my brain. An empathic jolt that throws them off. But I work with Zola because I have to stay calm enough to do it, and get fast enough to do it before a shapeshifter breaks me in half. Which I’m still working on.”

“So, you don’t want to punch me with your brain.” He blinked. “A surprisingly weird thing to say out loud, actually.”

Her lips pursed, like she was trying to hold back a laugh. “Hey, your brain doesn’t want to hit me either. If you pull those punches any harder, they’ll be going backwards.”

Not admitting it would mean lying to himself as well as her. “I guess we’re even, then.” He’d killed a man with his bare fists, and she’d done the same with her psychic ability, so no wonder they were loath to use those weapons against one another.

“Enough.” Zola gestured to Andrew. “Your instincts will not let you strike at her with strength she cannot meet. So you will watch her with Walker. See what she can do. And then…” The lion smiled, wide and predatory. “You spar against us.”

Walker appeared behind Zola. “What’s up?”

She nodded to Kat. “Andrew must see of what she is capable, so that he may fight at her back.”

“You’re supposed to come kick me around,” Kat said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I can’t punch Andrew. He’s too pretty.”

The lion laughed. “I should be offended, especially since you look happy enough to smash my ugly face in.”

Kat caught Andrew’s gaze and smiled at him like they were the only ones in the room, wide and open and lopsided. “I’m happy.”

“Uh-huh.” Walker shook his head with a laugh. “Bring it, Gabriel.”

She did fight harder, that much was obvious immediately as she ducked a blow and whirled away. Walker was moving more slowly than usual, but the fact remained that Kat was human. She would never be as fast as a shifter, no matter how much she trained.

It was easy to see Zola’s influence in her movements, and that she’d been trained in a very different style. Defensive, her focus on evasion, until Walker lunged toward her.