Cinderella Screwed Me Over (13 page)

I nodded. “I will. Thank you so much.” I’d never been a hugger, but my arms were around Dwight before I’d even realized I was going to hug him.

He patted me on the back and then told me to go feed my horse.

When I had to go back to school, I’d been pretty upset about leaving Major all day. He went through a rebellious phase, too, trying to buck off anyone else who tried to ride him. And while I knew I shouldn’t be proud of that fact, I was.

“Whoa,” I said now, pulling on the reins and slowing him down to a trot as we approached the pond. I slid off him and sat in the shade of the tree while he drank some water. Even now, he was picky about riders. He tolerated Dwight, Drew, and Devin, and would slowly make his way over when they called. But he only came running for me.

I laid back in the grass and saw the initials carved into the tree. That had been a romantic story at one point, just like any one of the stories I’d heard today at Steph’s shower. Yet throwing your initials together with
equals true love forever
doesn’t actually make it so. Even in my happy place, I had proof that relationships—even good ones—don’t last.

…

The raised voices drifted through the front door, combined with the sound of a crying baby. I stood on the porch of the house, wondering how long they’d be at it this time.

“I took care of her all day yesterday,” Anne yelled. “I think you can handle a few hours.”

“I’m taking her,” Devin said. “I just wanted to know if you’d be back before I needed to drive home and put the kids to bed.”

“I don’t know. All I know is I’ve got to get out of here before I go insane!” Anne swung the screen door open with such force that I had to jump out of the way. She charged down the stairs and climbed into her car. I don’t even think she saw me.

I stepped into the house and saw Devin holding Ava, while Levi, my five-year-old nephew with hair so blond it was almost white, was parked in front of the television, watching cartoons.

I gave Devin a tight smile. “Hey. I’d ask how it’s going, but I’m pretty sure I already know.”

Devin shook his head. “Ava’s teething, so she’s crabby, and I’ve been working long hours, helping out with the cows and getting the machines ready for first cutting.” He ran a hand through his hair. His eyes were bloodshot with dark circles underneath. “Needless to say, things are a little tense lately. I try to keep the mood light by joking around. Back when we were dating, Anne said she loved my sense of humor. Lately all I get when I tell a joke is a glare.”

I looked down at Ava and her epically chubby cheeks. In her six months on earth, all I’d ever seen her do was cry or sleep. With her dad bouncing her around, though, she seemed pretty happy. “On the bright side, you two sure do have cute kids.”

“That’s about all we have,” Devin said.

Ava seemed to take offense to this, even though we’d been calling her cute, and started screaming again.

“I’m going to go walk her around outside. Janet and Dad ran to the store, but they should be back in a few minutes. Until then, could you keep an eye on Levi for me?”

“Sure.”

I felt bad for Devin, but I also felt bad for Anne. Everyone talked about how much she’d changed. I once heard this statement that women marry men hoping to change them, while men marry women hoping they’ll never change.

So maybe it’s a little true. After all, there are definitely some fixer-uppers out there that could use a good coat of paint. Or five. And while I’ve never been married, I’ve been in long-term relationships before. I’ve also been around my fair share of married people. And it did seem like the men always complained about how much their girlfriends and wives had changed. But men change, too. While there used to be a little effort put into date night, he now drapes his smelly feet over his significant other and sits blank-faced, staring at the television with little conversation besides, “What we got to eat?”

He used to dress up; now he doesn’t even bother getting dressed. Responsibilities and stress replace the romance. So, yes, things change. Really, guys? You didn’t see that coming?

Okay, rant over.

I sat down next to my nephew. “Hey, Levi. How are you doing?”

He peeled his gaze off the TV and looked at me. “Ava cries all the time. Then Mommy does. It’s lots of crying at my house.”

I ran my hand over his head. “It’ll get better.”
I hope.

A few minutes later, Mom walked in the door holding Ava. Mom had this gift with babies. Whereas my first instinct was to run from a screaming kid, hers was to take the child and comfort him or her.

Devin and Dwight came in, arms loaded with groceries.

“Are there any more?” I asked, motioning to the bags.

“Nah. We got ’em all,” Dwight said.

I stood and followed everyone into the kitchen. Dwight set down the bags on the table, then turned and gave me a hug. “How’s my girl? Still showing everyone in the city what’s what?”

“I’m not sure about that,” I said. “I do show them how to rearrange their homes, though. Plus spending other people’s money is always fun.”

Dwight pulled out a bar stool for me and then sat down on the one next to it. “You take Major out?”

“Of course. How’s he doing?”

“Damn thing bit Caleb the other day.”

Mom stopped her humming and shot Dwight a look. She’d been trying to get him to break his cussing habit for seventeen years, and obviously had no intention of giving up.

Dwight continued his story about Caleb, the neighbor kid who sometimes worked on the farm. “Anyway, while Caleb’s trying to saddle him, Major kept biting him. So Caleb smacked him on the nose.”

“Oh no,” I said, already knowing it was going to be bad. Not only was Major stubborn, he also held grudges. You had to show him who was boss, but you had to be careful about it.

“Since he’s such a vindictive SOB, Major lets Caleb step into the stirrup, then takes off running and kicking.”

“Is Caleb okay?”

“He won’t go near your horse anymore, but he’s fine. Just a few bruises.” Dwight shook his head. “You spoiled that horse rotten. Now he only loves you, barely tolerates me, and bites, kicks, or bucks when anyone else looks his way.”

“But he loves me,” I said with a shrug and a grin.

Dwight shook his head. “Damn horse,” he muttered.

Ava started screaming again. Mom bounced her up and down and hummed louder.

Devin held out his arms. “Need me to take her?” His exhausted tone said it was the last thing in the world he wanted to do.

“I’ll go give her a bath and see if that makes her happy,” Mom said. “There’s some leftover stew in the fridge if you get hungry.” Mom walked out of the room with Ava, the crying getting quieter as she headed upstairs.

Devin leaned his elbows against the counter and put his head in his hands. “I’m so tired of the crying. And I’m worried about Anne. She won’t listen to me, but I think she needs to talk to someone before the depression gets worse. It’s like it was after Levi.”

Dwight patted Devin on the back. “It’ll get better, son.”

Devin sighed. “I don’t know how much longer I can do it.” He looked at me. “Maybe you’re right to keep your anti-marriage stance. I love Anne and the kids to death, but marriage is a lot harder than I thought it’d be.”

“Funny, all I heard at Stephanie’s bridal shower was how wonderful marriage is. I think it’s one of those grass is always greener on the other side things. No matter what you’ve decided, you always wonder if something else would’ve been the better pick.”

I would know. I’d been thinking about the greener grass all day.

Grownup Fairy Tales Case Study: Gil/the perfect guy from romance movies

My Age: 17

Yes, I realize this breaks the mold a bit. It’s not a prince or princess story. But really, Gil broke the mold. And it happened to be around the time I’d moved on from Disney movies to romantic comedies. These were the kind of stories that could
actually happen.
Or so I’d been foolish enough to believe, anyway.

We’ve all seen the chick flicks with the amazing, cute guy friend. Somehow, the girl doesn’t realize how amazing he is or that he’s head over heels in love with her. Sometimes it’s the guy who doesn’t realize he’s in love with his best girl friend. There are several variations, but they all end with discovering they love each other.

After the whole debacle with Sherman, I was crushed. It was hard to see him at school, especially since he and Tabitha were playing tonsil hockey in the halls all the time. He’d hurt me, and as dumb as it was, I kept thinking up scenarios where he’d realize he was a fool for losing me, and how after a long period of him making it up to me, we’d get back together.

It didn’t happen. In fact, I don’t think he thought twice about me—which stung even more because it meant he never cared about me at all. I hung out with my brothers and their friends a lot. We spent a lot of time at Margie’s, the local diner. The guys kept me from moping around. In fact, when I tried to mope, Drew or Devin would tell me to stop being a girl and suck it up.

January of my junior year, Stephanie moved to town. We had a class together, and we instantly hit it off. Even then, people commented on how much we looked alike. Steph was into fashion, too. Before long, I was spending most of my free time with her.

One day when I was outside brushing down Major, Gil walked up to me.

“Hey, Gil,” I said. “I think Drew and Devin had to go get parts for the John Deere, but they should be back soon.”

“I wanted to talk to you, actually.”

Annoyed he wasn’t getting all my attention anymore, Major reached his head around and bit at Gil.

I put my hands on the side of my horse’s big head and looked him in the eye. “No biting, Major!” I held up the bucket of grain. “You want this?”

He whinnied, leaning for it.

I swung it back. “Then no biting.”

Major hung his head like he was the most picked-on thing in the world.

“Sorry,” I said, turning to Gil. “What’s up?”

Gil leaned on the fence. “You haven’t been around much since you met your new friend.”

“It has been nice to have someone in my same class—not to mention getting a little girl time in.” I set down the bucket of grain. “Stephanie and I aren’t doing anything tonight, though. What’s everyone doing later?”

Gil sighed. “I don’t think you get it.
I
miss you.”

I looked up, meeting his gaze. “Wait, are you saying…?” I wasn’t sure I could finish. Not without making a fool of myself.

Instead of answering with words, Gil stepped forward and kissed me, a soft kiss that caused my pulse to skitter. “I like you, Darby,” he said when his lips left mine. “I’ve liked you for a long time. I kept waiting to make my move, thinking I’d say something next time we were alone. But then I waited too long and you stopped hanging out with us. Anyway, think about it. If you just want to be friends, I hope things won’t be awkward between us.”

I finally got past being stunned and really saw Gil for the first time. With his curly, black hair and big brown eyes, he was definitely cute. Then I thought about the way he always checked on me when we were out as a group—how he’d been there to pick me up the night I watched Sherman cheat on me. I’d never thought of any of my brothers’ friends as possible boyfriends, simply because we’d been close for so long. I thought that to them, I was just an annoying girl.

“Do it again,” I whispered.

“What part?” Gil asked.

My heart was pounding so hard I could feel every thump. “The kissing part.”

He grinned, then pulled me into his arms and kissed me again, one kiss after another, until they merged together and made the world spin.

The rest of the guys weren’t sure what to think about Gil and me as a couple. It took them a little while to adjust, but before too long, they all got used to the idea. Steph and Drew started dating, too—though they only lasted a month. Things were tense between them for a couple weeks, but then they got over it. They had to. That’s the curse and blessing of small-town dating.

On warmer days, Gil and I would go to the pond to relax or swim. One day he got out his pocketknife and carved our initials in the tree. He told me he loved me, and I returned the sentiment. About a month later, under the shade of that same tree, Gil and I lost our virginity together. He was thoughtful and careful and checked on me afterward. I’d been a little scared it would change everything. It did in a lot of ways, but not in the way I’d worried. Things between us couldn’t have been better.

Then he graduated high school and our relationship suddenly had an expiration date—he was going to college in California, and we agreed that the long-distance thing would be too hard.

We spent the entire summer together, soaking in every spare minute we could. The night before he left for California, we went to our usual spot near the pond and said our good-byes. I did my best not to cry, but I shed a few tears. Okay, a
lot
of tears.

When the sun dipped low in the sky, all but disappearing, Gil stood and extended his hand to me. “You ready to go back?”

I shook my head. “I’m going to stay here.”

“I’ve got to go. My parents are waiting.” He bent down and kissed me. The kiss was filled with love and sorrow, an accumulation of an almost yearlong relationship and more than three years of friendship. It left me hollow and full, all at the same time. “Good-bye, Darby. I love you.”

I didn’t bother holding back the tears anymore. “Love you, too.”

I thought it was the end of the world, and for a while, it was.

When Gil came home for Christmas break, he and I spent three blissful weeks together, everything the way it was before he’d left for college. I was sure that we were destined to be together. Waiting until summer wouldn’t be easy, but when he came back for summer vacation, we’d be able to pick up where we left off.

But Gil got a job out in California. Steph and I had talked about going to school in Denver. I’d applied to the Rocky Mountain College of Art and Design and she was planning on going to Metropolitan State. I’d also applied to a school out in California in case Gil and I got serious over the summer. Without him coming home, though, things just fizzled out. It was over. I needed to move on.