Cimarron, Denver Cereal Volume 4 (29 page)

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a
group of teenaged boys moving in her direction. Tracking their
motion, Sandy turned to her face them. The boys were laughing and
weaving down the street. They looked as if they’d been out all
night. One pointed, said something and laughed.

Sandy blushed. This had happened before.
Strangers knew exactly who she was from all the press about her
father and Aden. She was about to return to the hotel when she
heard a boy call her name. Turning toward the sound, she saw the
boys push at each other. While one boy slowed, the group of jeering
boys walked by.

“
Sandy!” the boy
said.

Defensive, Sandy turned toward the
sound.

“
Are you going to hit me?”
he laughed.

“
Oh my God,” Sandy’s arms
flew around her step-brother’s neck. “Charlie! What are you doing
here? You smell like crap.”

Laughing, the boy held her close. At least
six feet tall, he bent down to rub his face on her neck. She
squealed. He laughed.

“
You’re high,” she
said.

“
Yep,” Charlie said. “I’m
high.”

“
What are you doing here?
How come you’re not at home?”

“
Mom kicked me
out.”

“
What?” Sandy
asked.

“
She’s broke, said she
couldn’t deal with my crap anymore. I was ‘too expensive’ for her.”
The boy shrugged. In a moment, he shifted from a cocky street kid
to Sandy’s little brother. His big dark eyes blinked at the pain
that lay in his heart. “We got in a big fight and she threw me out.
Changed the locks.”

“
When?”

“
About a month ago,” he
said. “I went by your place to see if I could stay with you. There
was some bitch there. She ran me off so I’ve been out.”

“
Oh Charlie!” Sandy
clutched him to her again. “I’m so sorry.”

“
It’s not that bad,” he
said. “I stay with the guys. We find places to stay.”

“
How do you eat?” Sandy
asked.

“
We spare change,” Charlie
said. “It’s not a
noble
profession like Dad would have wanted for me but
Dad’s dead.”

Charlie sighed. A storm of rage and sorrow
moved across his face and then he smiled.

“
I stay high,” he said. “If
Dad was here, everything would be different. Mom wouldn’t be so
crazy. You’d still be able to see us. All that crap with your prick
father… Is it true?”

Sandy nodded.

“
Oh God, Sandy,” Charlie
hugged her. The boy wept into her shoulder. “I’m so
sorry.”

“
It’s not your fault,
Charlie,” Sandy said. “You were the best thing that ever happened
to me. Period. You and Sissy.”

“
Why won’t Mom let you see
us?” Charlie asked.

“
Money,” Sandy
said.

“
Of course,” Charlie
said.

“
Why does Mom need so much
money? She has a good job. Dad’s pension pays her survivor benefits
for you and Sissy,” Sandy said.

“
She’s addicted to QVS,”
Charlie said.

“
What?”

“
Yeah, it’s weird,” Charlie
said. “Any moment she’s not working, she’s watching QVS. She buys
things. Sandy, she doesn’t even open the boxes. She has three or
fifty of the same thing. The crap has filled the entire house. You
remember how prissy Sissy is about her room?”

Sandy nodded.

“
It’s the only empty space
left,” Charlie said. “As soon as I was out, she started filling my
room with crap.”

“
You go back?”

“
To check on Sissy,”
Charlie said. “I walk her home from school. She gives me her
lunch.”

“
Sandy?” Aden glared at the
filthy boy. He slipped his arm around her.

“
Aden, this is my brother
Charlie,” Sandy said. “You remember me talking about
him.”

Aden’s face shifted to neutral.

“
Nice to meet you,” Aden
held his hand out for Charlie to shake.

“
Hey, this is the gym guy,”
Charlie laughed. “I knew I’d seen your face somewhere.”

Charlie shook his hand.

“
Whoa, I didn’t notice the
rocks,” Charlie said. “Did you guys get married?”

“
A couple of days ago,”
Sandy said. “Not a church wedding. We’ll do that next
year.”

“
Good,” Charlie
said.

“
Listen, Lizzie, Seth’s
daughter is staying at my place this summer. I’ll talk to her,”
Sandy said. “She had no right to…”

“
Like I said,” Charlie
said. “I’m doing all right. Summer’s coming and I think it would be
nice to be out for a while. Maybe I’ll come in this
fall.”

Charlie hugged Sandy again.

“
It’s really great to see
you,” Charlie shifted to a street kid again.

“
Hey Charlie, quit talking
to your girlfriend,” a boy yelled from the Denver Performing Arts
Center. “We’re going to eat.”

“
I should go,” Charlie
said.

“
My salon is on Colfax,”
Sandy said. “Come by. You can at least take a shower. I can fix
your hair.”

Charlie hugged Sandy close again. For a
moment, like he had when he was a toddler, he rested his head on
her shoulder. When the moment passed, the street kid returned. He
raised a hand in good-bye to Aden and sauntered down the
street.

“
Charlie!”

Sandy ran after him. She pulled the cash out
of her wallet and shoved it into his hand.

“
I’m not Mom!” Charlie
said. “I can take care of myself.”

Sandy smiled and he laughed.

“
Thank you,” he gave her a
smile. “I’ll come by the salon. Your car’s here.”

“
Come by,” Sandy said as
she ran back to Aden. “A shower, a meal, hard to beat.”

“
Love you!” Charlie
yelled.

“
Love you!” Sandy yelled
back.

Charlie ran off to meet his jeering friends.
Aden held the passenger door open for her and she stepped into his
SAAB sedan. He tipped the valet and took the driver’s seat. They
had gone a few blocks before he spoke.

“
You know that Charlie was
high,” Aden said.

“
Charlie has a problem with
pot and meth,” Sandy said. “I paid for him to go to rehab a couple
of years ago. Mom pitched a fit so he didn’t stay the whole thirty
days.”

“
He can’t be around Pete,”
Aden said.

“
I know,” Sandy said. “But
he can be around me.”

“
Sandy, that’s not your
little brother,” Aden said. “He’s a full blown street kid. There’s
no way to know what he’s done to get drugs.”

“
Speaking from experience?”
she asked.

“
Yes,” Aden said. “I am
speaking from experience. And…”

He shook his head and fell silent. They
drove a few more blocks.

“
What?” Sandy
asked.

“
I don’t want you to be
hurt,” Aden said. “He seems like a great kid. Handsome and strong.
Smart.”

“
He is a great kid,” Sandy
said. “He and Dad were really close. He hasn’t gotten over Dad’s
death. And Mom’s a wreck.”

Sandy sighed.

“
What?” Aden
asked.

“
I’m overwhelmed with my
own life and responsibilities,” Sandy said. “I don’t know what I
can do for Charlie but pray and love him.”

“
Did you give him money?”
Aden asked.

“
I did,” Sandy said. “And
don’t tell me not to Aden Norsen. I know he’ll spend some of it on
drugs. He’s my brother and I love him.”

“
You know about tough
love?” Aden asked.

“
Yes but not ten minutes
after I stayed in a luxurious hotel where I was pampered by
expensive food, spa services, and amazing sex,” Sandy said. “I’m
not tough enough to deny a hungry little boy.”

Aden smiled. He squeezed her hand.

“
You have to get him help,”
Aden said.

“
I know,” Sandy said. “But
I have to help myself first. Right?”

“
Right,” Aden pulled to a
stoplight. He leaned over to kiss her.

“
I feel awful,” Sandy said.
“I had no idea he was out of doors. Mom wouldn’t let me see him or
Sissy. I’ve tried over and over again. I should have tried
harder.”

“
He could have tried harder
too. No one forces him to use drugs. Those are his choices. Plus…”
Aden said. “He’s fifteen?”

“
Just turned sixteen,”
Sandy said.

“
Out of doors isn’t such a
bad place at sixteen,” Aden said. “He’s big enough to keep the
predators away. I bet he’s having a grand time.”

Sandy shrugged.

“
Don’t be sad,” Aden
said.

“
I’m all right,” Sandy
nodded. “I had a wonderful night. I’m a little tired… sore in great
ways…”

He laughed. Pulling into the Castle
driveway, he leaned over to kiss Sandy one more time. Grabbing her
suitcase, she moved to get out of the car.

“
Good luck this morning,”
she said. “Let me know where you are.”

“
See you soon.”

Sandy watched him drive away. With a sad
sigh, she turned into the Castle.

~~~~~~~~

Sunday morning — 6:25 A.M.

Waking slowly, Jill rolled onto her side.
Jacob scooped her over to him. She lay with her head against his
bare right shoulder. Her fingers traced the scars left by the
impact of a pipe wrench and seven surgeries.

“
It’s been almost a year,”
she said.

His head turned to look at her.

“
Did you think you would be
here a year later?”

“
I hoped, longed and
dreamed I would be right here a year ago,” Jacob
laughed.

She smiled. She kissed his lips. Resting
back against his shoulder, her fingers continued moving along the
scars.

“
Do you still have the
angina?”

“
Yes,” he said. “But much
less. Exercise is really the best thing.”

“
What about the surgery?”
she asked.

“
I think I’ve had enough of
hospitals for a long time,” he said.

“
Wouldn’t the surgery stop
the angina?”

“
No guarantee,” he said.
“The docs aren’t sure that’s a piece of metal against my heart. It
could be something else. Could be a genetic defect. I’d hate to go
through all the trouble for nothing. Everything in my life is in
flux right now. I don’t think I need to add surgery to the
mix.”

“
But if it would make you
better…” she started.

Seeing his puzzled look, she stopped
talking.

“
What’s bothering you,
Jill?” Jacob asked.

“
I just don’t know if it
was worth it,” she said. “I wish I’d…”

Jacob sat up in bed. He turned to look at
her. She sat up to meet his gaze.

“
Life isn’t really a 'tit
for tat' equation,” Jacob said. “I didn’t pay for this life with
you by getting assaulted by Ashforth. It’s just something that
happened on the road to being here. Like meeting in Santa Monica.
Like moving back to Denver.”

“
You make it sound like
almost dying is just life, just happens,” she said. “If
I…”

“
Oh Jill,” Jacob said.
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything to make him hurt
me.”

“
It feels that way,” Jill
said. “The least I could have done was heal your wound.”

“
You saved my life,” Jacob
said. “I don’t think you could have done more, Jill. You’re not
God. You don’t control everything.”

“
Oh, the God thing again.”
She flopped back against her pillow.

“
I’m looking forward to
spending the summer with you and our daughter, Katherine. I’m very
excited to hike, fish, play, work on some rehabs and whatever else
life has in store for us.”

“
I’m excited too,” she
said.

“
This year has been a
complete upheaval. Everything is different today," Jacob
said.

“
Is different
good?”

“
This different is
fabulous,” Jacob said. “I’ve never been as happy. I think everyone
I know is happier than they’ve been in years and years.”

“
I am,” she smiled at
him.

He leaned down on his elbow.

“
Then what’s bothering
you?” he asked.

“
I just have this feeling…
like the other shoe is going to drop,” Jill said.

Jacob leaned over to kiss her lips.

“
Could happen,” she
said.

“
You don’t think this crap
with the secretary, me getting run out of Lipson Construction, you
getting tortured by people’s cruel words… That’s not the other
shoe?”

“
That’s just life,” Jill
said.

“
Well, then, it will have
to be a big fucking shoe,” Jacob laughed. “Mammoth, in
fact.”

Jill laughed.

“
As long as we have each
other, we’ll be fine,” he said. “Do I still have you?”

“
You do,” Jill said. “Do I
still have you?”