Chronicle of a Blood Merchant (11 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

After Yile finished his gruel the next morning, he got up and walked out the door. Xu Sanguan and Xu Yulan were still in the bedroom, and Erle and Sanle were sitting on the doorstep. Erle and Sanle watched as Yile’s legs stepped over their shoulders and moved outside the door.

Erle gazed at Yile as he moved down the street without so much as a parting look, and called out, “Yile, where are you going?”

Yile said, “To find my dad.”

When Erle heard his reply, he glanced inside the house to see Xu Sanguan licking his bowl clean with his tongue. This seemed funny to him, so he burst into giggles, saying to Sanle, “Dad’s inside, but Yile’s going out to look for him.”

Sanle too giggled. “He must not have seen him.”

That morning Yile walked in the direction of He Xiaoyong’s house. He was on his way to find his real father. He was going to tell his real father, He Xiaoyong, that he was never going back to Xu Sanguan’s house again. He wouldn’t go back even if Xu Sanguan took him to the Victory Restaurant to eat noodles every day. He was going to take up residence at He Xiaoyong’s house. He wouldn’t have two little brothers anymore. He would have two little sisters instead. One was called Xiaoying and the other was Xiaohong. And he wouldn’t be called Xu Yile anymore either. He would become He Yile. What it all amounted to was this. From now on, whenever he saw He Xiaoyong, he would call to him: Dad, Dad, Dad.

The doorstep at He Xiaoyong’s house was just like the doorstep Yile had just left at Xu Sanguan’s. There the doorway had been occupied by Erle and Sanle. Here He Xiaoying and He Xiaohong were sitting on the doorstep. When they saw Yile approach, they turned to look inside.

Yile announced, “Your big brother’s here.”

They swiveled their heads back in his direction.

Yile saw He Xiaoyong standing inside the door and called out to him, “Dad, I’m home.”

He Xiaoyong emerged from the house, pointed at Yile, and barked, “Who are you calling Dad?” Then he waved Yile away. “Get out of here.”

Yile stood his ground. “Dad, this time it’s different. Last time Mom made me come see you. I didn’t want to come. This time I came on my own. Mom doesn’t even know I’m here. Xu Sanguan doesn’t know either. Dad, now that I’m here, I’m not going back again. Dad, I’m moving in with you.”

He Xiaoyong repeated, “Who are you calling Dad?”

Yile answered, “You’re my dad.”

“Bullshit,” He Xiaoyong said. “Xu Sanguan is your dad.”

“Xu Sanguan isn’t my real dad. You’re my real dad.”

He Xiaoyong told Yile, “If you call me your dad one more time, I’m going to kick you with my feet and beat you with my fists.”

Yile shook his head. “You wouldn’t do that to your own son.”

The neighbors were gathering around the door. A few of them stepped forward and said, “He Xiaoyong, even if he’s not your son, you really shouldn’t treat him like that.”

Yile told them, “I
am
his son.”

He Xiaoyong’s woman emerged from the house and, gesturing toward Yile, told the onlookers, “It’s that Xu Yulan woman again. That bitch must have sent him here. One day she’s screwing around with some jerk, and the next day it’s some other jerk, and then what does she do? She sends her little bastards to other people’s houses to beg for money. She wants other people to feed, clothe, and house her bastard kids. It’s really too much. Most people can’t even take care of their own these days. Our family hasn’t eaten anything in days, we’ve been hungry for a month, and there’s almost nothing left between our bellies and our backsides by now.”

Yile waited for He Xiaoyong’s woman to finish. Then he turned to He Xiaoyong and said, “Dad, you’re my real dad. Take me to the Victory Restaurant for a bowl of noodles.”

“Did all of you hear what he said?” He Xiaoyong’s woman shouted to her neighbors, “He wants to eat noodles. Our family’s been eating chaff and weeds for two months now, but he’s coming over here asking for noodles. And he wants to have them at the Victory Restaurant no less.”

“Dad, I know you don’t have any money now. Why don’t you go over to the hospital and sell blood? You’ll have plenty of money if you sell some blood, and then you can take me to eat noodles.”

“Aiya!” He Xiaoyong’s woman began to scream. “And now he wants He Xiaoyong to go to the hospital to sell blood! He wants to kill our He Xiaoyong! He wants to murder him! He Xiaoyong, can’t you just get this kid out of here?”

He Xiaoyong took a step toward Yile. “Get the hell out of here.”

Yile didn’t move. “Dad, I’m never leaving you again.”

He Xiaoyong reached out, picked Yile up by his collar, and hauled him a few steps backward. Unable to hold him off the ground any longer, he put Yile back down and began to drag him down the lane. Yile’s hands grabbed frantically for his own collar, and his face contorted as he gasped for air. He Xiaoyong pulled him to the end of the lane, pushed him against a wall, and brandished a finger in front of his face. “If you ever come by here again, I’ll slaughter you.”

With this warning he turned and left. Yile stood with his back against the wall and watched him retreat down the lane to his house. Then he stepped away from the wall and walked into the street. After looking to his left and to his right to orient himself, he began to head west, head bent and eyes lowered to the ground.

A few people who were acquainted with Xu Sanguan saw an eleven- or twelve-year-old boy walking to the west with his head down and his eyes to the ground. They saw that his eyes were streaming with tears and that his tears sometimes fell onto his shoes. They wondered whose family he belonged to, and why he was crying as if his heart were broken. When they moved in for a closer look at the child, they realized that he was Xu Sanguan’s Yile.

The first one to approach him was Blacksmith Fang. Blacksmith Fang said, “Yile! Yile, why are you crying?”

Yile said, “Xu Sanguan isn’t my real dad. He Xiaoyong isn’t my real dad either. I don’t have a dad. That’s why I’m crying.”

Blacksmith Fang said, “Yile, why are you heading west? Your house is to the east.”

Yile said, “I’m not going home.”

Blacksmith Fang said, “Yile, you’d better go home now.”

Yile said, “Blacksmith Fang, why don’t you buy me a bowl of noodles? Then you can be my real dad.”

Blacksmith Fang said, “Yile, what sort of nonsense is that? Even if I bought you ten bowls of noodles, I would never be your real dad.”

Farther along the road, others came up to talk to him.

“You’re Xu Sanguan’s Yile, right? Why are you crying like that? Why are you walking west all on your own? Your house is on the east side. Why don’t you go on home?”

Yile said, “I’m not going home. Go tell Xu Sanguan that I’m never coming home again.”

They said, “If you’re not going home, then where do you think you’re going?”

Yile said, “I don’t know where I’m going. All I know is that I’m not going home.”

Yile added, “If any of you will buy me a bowl of noodles, I’ll be your son. Do any of you want to buy me some noodles?”

THEY WENT to tell Xu Sanguan.

“Xu Sanguan, your Yile is bawling his head off and walking toward the west side.”

“Xu Sanguan, your kid doesn’t want you to be his dad anymore.”

“Xu Sanguan, your Yile is saying that anyone who’s willing to buy him a bowl of noodles can be his dad.”

“Xu Sanguan, your Yile is going around everywhere asking people to be his dad, just like a beggar, and you’re still sitting with your feet up in that chair of yours? Why don’t you go get him home?”

Xu Sanguan stood up from his rattan chair. “That little brat’s getting worse and worse. If he wants to find his real dad, he should go look for He Xiaoyong. What does he think he’s doing, asking everyone else to be his dad? If He Xiaoyong isn’t his real dad, who the hell is? What’s he doing going west? That’s the opposite direction from his real dad’s house.”

When he was finished speaking, he sat back down in his rattan chair. The others said, “How come you’re sitting back down? Go and bring him home!”

Xu Sanguan said, “If he wants to look for his real dad, who am I to stand in his way?”

They could not very well argue the point, so one by one they went on their way. But a little later a few others arrived at the door.

“Xu Sanguan, have you heard? This morning Yile went over to He Xiaoyong’s house looking for his real dad. It was really awful! The poor kid. He Xiaoyong’s woman cursed him to his face, and then she cursed Xu Yulan, and it wasn’t pretty, what she said, let me tell you. Poor Yile. He Xiaoyong dragged him all the way down the lane and into the street.”

Xu Sanguan asked them, “Did He Xiaoyong’s woman curse at me too?”

They said, “No, you were the only one she didn’t talk about.”

Xu Sanguan said, “Then it’s none of my business.”

When afternoon arrived and Yile still hadn’t come home, Xu Yulan started to get nervous. She said to Xu Sanguan, “Everyone who’s seen Yile says he’s heading west. Everyone said the same thing. But if he’s heading west, where do you think he’ll end up going? If he gets all the way out to the countryside, he might forget the way home. He’s only eleven after all, Xu Sanguan. Can’t you please go and find him?”

Xu Sanguan said, “I’m not going. I feed him. I give him the clothes on his back. I send him to school. I’ve been very good to that little brat, and he still goes behind my back looking for his real dad. That bastard He Xiaoyong yells and screams and hits him, even drags him down the lane, and Yile still wants to look for his real dad. It’s crystal clear to me now. If a kid really isn’t your own flesh and blood, there’s no way he’ll ever become your own, no matter how well you raise him.”

Xu Yulan was forced to go off in search of Yile alone. “You may not be Yile’s real dad, but I’m his mom, and I’m going to go find him and bring him home.”

Xu Yulan was away the whole afternoon. When she finally got back, it was already dusk. As soon as she came through the door, she asked, “Is he back yet?”

Xu Sanguan said, “No, I’ve been sitting here all afternoon watching the door. Erle and Sanle have been in and out, but Yile hasn’t come back yet.”

Xu Yulan began to cry. Then she told Xu Sanguan, “I kept heading west, and I asked everyone I saw if they’d seen him. They all said they’d seen him walk by. When I got into the fields, I asked around, but no one had seen him out there. I walked in the country for a while, but there wasn’t anybody around to ask, so I didn’t know where to look.” She swung around and immediately went out again in search of Yile.

Xu Sanguan began to feel uncomfortable sitting in his chair. He rose, stood on the doorstep, and watched as night fell around him.
Yile still hasn’t come home,
he thought to himself.
Maybe
that means something’s happened to him.
Xu Sanguan began to feel anxious. As he watched the sky grow darker and darker, he said to Erle and Sanle, “You two stay at home and don’t go away. If Yile comes home, you tell him that your mom and I are out looking for him.”

Xu Sanguan shut the front door and moved off toward the west side of town. But before he had gone more than a few steps, he heard sobs somewhere by his feet. When he bent over to look, he saw Yile crouching next to a neighboring doorstep. Yile trembled as he gazed up at Xu Sanguan.

Xu Sanguan quickly stooped down beside him. “Yile, it’s you, isn’t it?” When he was sure that it was indeed Yile, he shouted, “Goddamnit, you scared your mom half to death, and you scared the hell out of me too, but you’re just fine, aren’t you? You were just sitting next door the whole time we were worrying.”

Yile said, “Dad, I’m hungry. I’m so hungry I’m weak.”

Xu Sanguan said, “It’s your own damn fault. Even if you starved to death, it would still be your own fault. No one made you run away from home. And I thought you said you weren’t coming back.”

Yile lifted one hand to smear away his tears. As he rubbed his eyes, he said, “I didn’t want to come back. You wouldn’t take me as your real son, so I went to find He Xiaoyong. He Xiaoyong wouldn’t take me either. I didn’t want to come back—”

Xu Sanguan cut him off in midsentence. “So what are you doing here? Go on. It’s not too late. Get out of here. It would be better if you never came back.”

Yile cried even harder. “I’m hungry, I’m sleepy, I want something to eat, I want to go to sleep. And even if you won’t have me as your real son, I thought you loved me more than He Xiaoyong . . . so I came back.”

Yile stuck out one hand, gripped the wall, and pulled himself to a standing position. Then, still holding on to the wall, he began to walk down the lane toward the west.

“Stop right there, you little brat. Where do you think you’re going?”

Yile stopped walking. Shoulders bent and head to the ground, he began to cry so violently that his body shook with his sobs.

Xu Sanguan knelt down by his side. “Climb onto my back.”

Yile clambered onto Xu Sanguan’s back, and Xu Sanguan carried him eastward down the lane. They passed by their own door, walked to the end of the lane, then walked down another lane until they reached the main street. They walked down the street until they had crossed the river that ran through town.

As they walked, Xu Sanguan kept up an incessant stream of curses directed at Yile. “You little brat. You little bastard. You little jerk. You’re gonna drive me to my grave one of these days, you make me so mad. If you want to run away, fine. Go ahead. Run away. Do you have to tell everyone in town about it too? The whole damn town thinks I abuse you now. They must think that your stepdad beats you up every day, curses you every day. I’ve taken care of you for eleven years now, and all I am is your stepdad. That bastard He Xiaoyong hasn’t spent one
fen
on your behalf, and he’s your real dad. So who’s the unlucky one? And I sure as hell don’t want to be your dad in my next life either. No way. Next time around, I want you to try being
my
stepdad. You just wait. I’ll drive you crazy. I’ll make you so mad, you won’t know whether you want to live or die.”

Yile caught sight of the gleaming lights of the Victory Restaurant. Timidly, he asked Xu Sanguan, “Dad, are you taking me to eat noodles?”