Christopher Brookmyre - Parlabane 04 (47 page)

He climbed into the police minibus and joined Vale on the back row, feeling the cumulative fatigue of the past twenty-four hours catch up as the seat took 291

his weight. A black polythene bag was sitting next to Vale's thigh, his hand resting on it to prevent it slipping as the bus lurched and bumped. Nobody spoke as the vehicle left McKinley Hall behind, the tense and awkward jousting of the journey there seeming a lot longer than a mere two days ago.

Parlabane asked Vale if he could borrow the mobile he'd confiscated from Shiach. The final edition would already be printing by now back in Edinburgh, but they'd surely consider an old-style, literal Stop Press for a tale like this. If not, there was still the online version to consider.

'Don't have it, old chap, sorry. Had to hand it over to the boys in blue.'

'Shit.'

'Never mind,
every
body's gone to press,' he consoled, reading Parlabane's mind as usual. 'It'll still be your exclusive. And the only one with photos,' he added.

'You got your camera out of there?'

'I took a brief detour before the firemen began dousing the place, yes,' he said with a smile, patting the poly bag. His grin said there was more to his detour than a digital camera, and the bulge in the bag concurred.

'What else have you got in there?'

Vale reached into the bag with both hands, twisting something in his grip.

'Fifty-year-old Springbank,' he said, holding up the bottle. 'He'll be claiming it on the insurance anyway.'

'You're a fly bastard, Tim,' Parlabane told him, before eagerly accepting a proffered swig.

Vale then passed the bottle forward to Max, who initially refused with a disapproving frown, then changed his mind and had a large, warming, medicinal chug. The bottle then made its way around the seats until reaching Rory last. He took a hearty mouthful, wiped his lips and stood up.

'So,' he said. 'Same place next October for the reunion bash?'

292

Later Still

McKinley Hall reopened in the spring of 2003, following extensive repair and refurbishment work, its new decor tailored to enhance the
Gothic Nightmares
and
Haunted House
theme breaks advertised in its publicity literature, which now makes shamelessly lurid play of the building's 'cursed' past. It has been operating close to capacity most weekends and public holidays since, and has hosted a number of horror-and supernatural-related conventions. The impetus for this change in direction came from Sir Lachlan, who finally concluded that, as Death had settled in the area first and clearly showed no intention of leaving, he might as well offer his troublesome neighbour a job and get the bastard working for him.

Ger stayed on as chef. He now commands a full complement of staff and exercises absolute authority over supplies, in particular butcher-meat. He is reputed to be open-minded and experimental in his cooking and has enthusiastically improvised a number of recipes around suggestions from Lady Jane, but is known to have an irrational aversion to ostrich. Alison left on her travels after Christmas 2002, having deferred entry to Strathclyde University. Her last postcard to Ger was marked 'Cairns'. The Reflected Gleam Agency's controversial anti-racism TV spot was launched in May at a reception in Leith, organised by Seventh Chime. Emily and Rory moved in together shortly afterwards. They both voted Liberal Democrat at the last election.

The Dawn Yuill nipple-shot turned out to be a fake. It was her head, but Anne Robinson's body.

293

Extract:

Case number 35812. Statement transcript 04.4. Recorded 27/10/02, 11:25-14:50 approx, Auchterbuie Police Station, Interview Room 2. Witness: John Lapsley Parlabane. Special Branch Detective Superintendent Andrew Lomax interviewing. Also present: Special Branch Sergeant Colin McIntosh, Special Branch Detective Constable Stewart Rowan.

DET. SUP. LOMAX: You used
what
?

295

• Titlepage
  
• Contents
  
• Prologue:: Burial and Exhumation
  
  • November 11, 2001
    
  • December 16, 2001
    
• Friday, October 25, 2002
  
  • Margaret Thatcher's Rotting Corpse
    
  • Motivational Oratory (i)
    
  • Purple Hail
    
  • Buggery and Aperitifs
    
  • Best Kept Secret
    
  • Night of the Eighties Undead (Parental discretion advised)
    
  • Troubled Sleep
    
  • Motivational Oratory (ii)
    
• Saturday, October 26, 2002
  
  • Torture
    
  • What's Under Your Feet
    
  • Running Up That Hill
    
  • Mysteries of the Flesh
    
  • A Matter of Taste
    
  • The Mark of a Man
    
  • After-Dinner Games
    
• Sunday, October 27, 2002
  
  • Much to Digest
    
  • Repulsion
    
  • Recoil
    
  • Information
    
  • Medieval Bastards
    
  • Improvisation
    
  • Night of the Eighties Undead 2
    
  • Stronghold Opposition
    
  • Good Time for a Bad Attitude
    
  • Spectators of Suicide
    
  • Learning How to Smile
    
  • The Trap
    
  • Later
    
  • Later Still
    
  • Extract: