Christmas Holiday Husband (5 page)

He’d been twenty-four and she just eighteen.

She sighed and closed her eyes in defeat.
Why now?
she begged, as the hurt from the past flooded upward again and threatened to engulf her in its sticky coils.
Why now, when I’ve finally got my life organised and under control?

She trod unwillingly down the splendid staircase, knowing she’d be facing him again all too soon, and certain she’d have to guard her tongue, and her heart.

Xxx

She helped Ginny set the big table while the twins bickered about names for a litter of puppies one of the collie bitches had recently produced.

“Working dogs all end up with short, sharp names like Bess and Bob,” Ginny murmured, shaking her head at the girls’ fanciful suggestions which included Jennifer, Prince Charming, Marge Simpson and Furry-face.

Ellie chuckled, picturing a hairy-legged farmhand bellowing for Prince Charming, but her laughter faded the instant Tony appeared—newly showered, and dressed in a pale grey shirt and charcoal chinos. Gone was the weary farmer; now he resembled a well-heeled tourist, a confident businessman on a sunny day off.

She bit her lip, glancing covertly at his newly shaved jaw, catching the drift of earthy cologne as he walked past the open window and the summer breeze wafted it in her direction. Damn, damn, damn!

He pulled out a chair and waited. “Ellie?”

It seemed he expected her to sit as though she was a favoured guest at a restaurant, and not the hired help. Certain she was blushing, she sat. His hand ran briefly down through her untied hair.

Just as she remembered. And exactly as she didn’t need.

“Suits you better dark,” he said, moving around the table to take the seat opposite. The sensation of his fingers remained, and now he sat directly in her line of sight, inspecting her with lively eyes.

“Can you carry the salad, please Robbie?” Ginny called. He rose to collect it. Ginny fossicked about in the refrigerator for dressings.

Robbie. I’ll never get used to hearing him called that.

Dinner was delicious—cold sliced lamb from yesterday’s roast, mashed potatoes, tender whole new carrots, and the huge bowl of assorted salad vegetables.

Antonia picked out her strips of red capsicum. Carolyn sorted out her radish slices. Tony transferred them to his plate without fussing. “One day...” he said, raising an eyebrow at Ellie.

She managed a slight smile. “They’ll develop a taste for them,” she agreed.

“Yuck!” Caro exclaimed, as she bit into a piece she’d missed. The others laughed at her outraged expression.

Even something as everyday as eating was difficult with Tony watching from across the table. Ellie dropped her napkin, spooned out far too much mayonnaise, and found herself imagining a repeat of that morning’s breakfast table kiss.

You wish!
she taunted herself, knowing she needed to keep a tight rein on her passion if she was to survive the summer...survive the eight long weeks of tutoring the twins so they’d be up to speed for school when the new term rolled around.

Tony leaned back in his chair after the main course was finished. His eyes twinkled—as mischievous as Cal’s sometimes were. Ellie couldn’t look away; to see her son as he might be as a grown man was fascinating.

“I’ve got an idea for tomorrow, girls,” he said. “I’m driving across to Bob Walmsley’s in the morning. If Ginny packs lunch for us, Ellie could take you fossil hunting in the river cliffs. I’ll come back for you about midday. How about it?”

The twins of course squealed with pleasure.

“Picnic lunch for four, then,” Ginny said placidly.

“Well, that’s not what I planned at all,” Ellie objected. “I need to make progress with their alphabet and start on simple words. They’re far too young for fossils yet.”

“But it’s fun,” Tony said, narrowing his eyes at her. “I used to love poking about. You might even find dinosaur bones,” he added, turning to smile at his daughters. Their eyes grew huge.

“Like in my big book?” Antonia asked. Both twins raced off to find it.

Ellie realised there was no getting out of it with such an inducement. “We’ll do the lessons too,” she called after them.

Tony sent her a look that made her blood fizz. “Wear shorts,” he said. “It’s going to be a real scorcher tomorrow. You’ll need a sunhat.”

She shook her head. “Burned in the fire.”

“I’ll find you one,” Ginny said. “Did you lose a lot of your things?”

“Almost everything. I managed to grab a few clothes, but extras like bags and hats and shoes went up in smoke. I rented the place furnished, so not everything was mine.”

Ginny looked thoughtful for a few seconds. “Robbie,” she said. “There are still some of Julia’s clothes in the wardrobe. The ones that have never been worn. Would you object if I gave Ellie anything she thinks might be useful?”

Ellie’s pride made her react abruptly. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s so kind, but I couldn’t.”

“No worries,” Tony said. “Make the most of them. Good idea.”

“No!” Ellie repeated. “The girls don’t need to see me wearing their mother’s clothes. Neither do you two. Thanks, but no.”

“The girls,” Ginny said softly, “have never seen their mother in any of these. As I said, brand new. Never worn. I’ve no idea what to do with them. They’re far too good for the charity shop where I sent all the rest. And I don’t think trying to re-sell them is quite appropriate.”

“At least have a look at them,” Tony urged.

Ellie bowed her head. “Thank you. But...I don’t want handouts. I can provide for myself.”

“I’m sure you can, dear,” Ginny said. “But what am I to do with these otherwise? There are a couple of dresses from Paris. Some lovely knitted tops. What size shoes do you take?”

Ellie sighed, thinking of her battered old sandals and scuffed trainers. “Eight,” she murmured, pink with embarrassment. It would be the final straw—being reduced to wearing his dead wife’s clothes.

“About a European forty? Worth trying, then. None of it fits me.” Ginny patted her ample hips. “We’ll have a look in a minute. Robbie can put the coffee on while we go up and see.”

Ellie nodded her unwilling agreement. If no-one else needed them, she should accept them in the spirit they were offered. She had so little left right now. But it was galling to be an object of pity in front of Tony.

“Have you got a party dress with you?” he asked. “It’s the local pre-Christmas knees-up this Saturday night. That’s why I’m going over to Bob’s—he and Penny are heading up the committee this year.”

“I’m not invited, surely?” she asked, knowing she absolutely didn’t have a dress suitable for a big country get-together.

“You’ll be home on your own if you don’t join us,” Ginny said. “Or had you planned to go and see your—”

“No, not this weekend,” Ellie interrupted hastily. “There’s—um—maybe the weekend following.”

“We’ve got to wear dresses, too,” Caro said glumly as she returned to the table with her picture book.

“And I want my hair like Ellie’s,” Ants added, reaching up to stroke the shining waves cascading onto the shoulders of Ellie’s lemon T-shirt.

“But how’s anyone going to tell you apart with no ponytail ribbons?” Ellie teased.

“So you’ll come with us?” Tony said. It was barely a question. Ellie tensed, unused to being included so firmly in other people’s plans. She turned to him, ready to argue. And stopped dead at the look in his eyes.

The late slanting sun lit half his face. On that side his skin was warmly tanned, firm along his jaw-line. But the rest of him was cast in shade. And both eyes were now so desolate that something hard and cold hit her deep inside.

He was lonely. He was hurting. And that made him so much more dangerous. An arrogant flirt she could probably resist, but a grieving friend was a different matter altogether.

Swamped with conflicting emotions, she pushed to her feet. “I’ll clear the table,” she said, with far too much enthusiasm. Anything to escape those dark haunted eyes.

CHAPTER
FOUR

Dresses from Paris! Ellie ran her hands down the sides of the simple biscuit-coloured linen shift which Ginny had persuaded her to slip into; it was loose enough to skim the curves of her body elegantly, and a wonderful foil for her dark hair. It was a far cry from the chain-store clothes she was used to—or the church shop finds her mother sometimes pressed on her.

There was an emerald green silk party dress, too—bodice cut on a slant to reveal one shoulder. Several pretty knitted tops, striped and plain. And a lightweight wool crepe suit in palest grey, with impossibly fine braiding on the cuffs and lapels. Ellie could think of no event in her life that would ever require such an expensive ensemble as the dove-grey suit.

There were green Italian sandals with slender straps and spiked heels. Two pairs of plaited slides. Low-heeled casuals in black and toffee. Smart leather courts to match the suit exactly. Plainly Julia had had taste as well as money. Ellie was almost willing to swallow her pride to possess such beautiful things.

“Take them away for me and have a proper try-on,” Ginny encouraged. “If they don’t fit you, or you don’t like them, it doesn’t matter one iota. But I need to get the room cleared out for Robbie’s parents’ Christmas visit. The girls will never know which are your clothes and which were to be Julia’s.” She snipped a swing-tag off the suit and handed the hanger to Ellie. “And Robbie hasn’t shared this room for quite some time. He wouldn’t have a clue...” Her voice was cool.

Ellie’s radar pinged to full alert. How many times had she detected unwelcome situations at school from the tiniest comment...the slightest change in tone? Too many to remember, that was for sure.

Plenty of money, the grandest of houses, and the most desirable husband in the world had apparently not guaranteed everlasting happiness for Ginny’s daughter.

Her curiosity was intensely aroused by the comment about Robbie not sharing the room. It sounded like they’d become estranged and he’d moved out prior to Julia falling ill. Ellie burned with questions, but couldn’t possibly ask them.

“Would that green silk be too over-the-top for Saturday?” She was already deeply in love with it.

“Ideal,” said Ginny. “It’s good to dress up now and then. You’ll see everything from denim to sequins I expect.”

Ellie carried her booty away, wondering when she’d ever have the opportunity to wear more of it. Not that she wanted to look pretty for Tony, of course. She’d be pleasantly polite, friendly but a little distant—certainly not encouraging. She’d never needed to be on her guard as much as now.

xxx

The sun sank below the horizon and the light faded further. Tony reached back and snapped on the wall sconces so soft radiance bathed the gracious old sitting room.

Ellie set her coffee cup onto the tray and rose. “I’ll be off upstairs,” she said. “I want to do some preparation for tomorrow, seeing my day has been rearranged.” She sent him an exasperated glance and then looked quickly away.

“Goodnight then, dear,” Ginny said.

“I can’t begin to thank you for the clothes and shoes.”

“It was time they found a home.”

Ellie sighed. “It was very generous of you. They’re beautiful.”

“Just like you will be on Saturday night.”

Tony’s eyes followed her as she left the room. “What did you find for her?”

“An emerald green dress. Lovely with her dark hair.” Ginny put her cup down on a small side-table. “I’ll just make sure the girls are ready for bed,” she added, rising from her favourite armchair.

He nodded slowly, picturing Ellie in a green dress. Seeing his hands pushing the fabric away from her skin. Watching his fingers caress her. Imagining her reaction.

There’d be initial outrage as he began to re-stake his claim on her.

Then confused acquiescence as their old chemistry started to kick in.

And finally the fierce and helpless passion that overtook her as she lost her inhibitions and responded fully to him.

Fat chance
, he thought glumly.

She still had the invisible wall up between them. He wanted to break it down. He’d not so far prised open the tiniest chink, either when he’d carried her from the muddy bog, or this evening over dinner. But once they were alone together it might be a different matter.

He waited five minutes, gathered his and Ginny’s coffee cups, and carried the tray to the kitchen before walking up the stairs, deep in thought.

It was a hot and humid night. Distant thunder rolled in the mountains to the west. Occasional flashes of far-off lightning flickered and died. Tony hoped she’d have her doors open to the balcony. He’d pushed his own wide to capture some of the cooler evening air before going down to dinner. Surely Ellie would have done the same?

The attraction between them was still white hot, however much she tried to ignore it. Her reaction to him at breakfast had been extreme. She’d lost her composure completely for the first few seconds, burying her face in her hands as though to deny he even existed. She’d spent the next several minutes sneaking quick glances at him and then averting her eyes whenever he caught her looking. She’d jumped like a nervous cat when the toast sprang up.