Authors: Mona Risk
Nick scrubbed at full speed and
rushed to the OR1. Madelyn muttered a short prayer and followed him. The nurses
gowned them.
Standing next to the incubators,
Madelyn watched Nick do his routine. Cut an incision. Move the skin away. Reach
deep in the gaping belly. And...
Her arm jerked. She clenched her
jaws and grasped the sides of the incubator with both hands.
Steady. Remain
steady. Breathe slowly. In. Out.
Were her hands shaking or was it just her
imagination?
Doctors and nurses huddled around
the operating table. All observing Dr. Preston save the toxemic patient and her
twins.
I can’t afford to shake. I can’t fall down. Not now. Please Lord. Not
now.
Lowering her head, Madelyn bit the inside of her cheek, hoping the
self-inflicted pain would counteract the onset of tremor.
“Baby A is out. A girl. All
yours, Dr. Ramsay.” Nick cut the umbilical cord.
There was no way on earth she
could reach for the baby. And risk dropping her. “Sandra, dry her and put her in
the incubator.” Ignoring the astonished look of the nurse who’d been busy at
the operating table, Madelyn slowly straightened and forced herself to observe
the preemie.
A well-trained nurse, Sandra
didn’t voice her surprise at the change in their routine. She wrapped the baby
in a towel and placed her in the radiant warmer.
“No chest movement.” Madelyn bent
over the incubator and suctioned the nose and mouth. “Heart rate?”
The nurse pressed the stethoscope
on the infant’s belly. “70, 80. Too slow.” Madelyn continued the suctioning.
“90, 100, 120.”
“We’re good.” A sigh of relief
escaped her. One gone. Two to go.
I hope I can hold on.
Bracing herself, she pulled
up a stool, sat on it, and waited for Nick. Baby B soon made an appearance.
Sandra glanced at her. Madelyn motioned to bring the second preemie.
Baby B lay limp and gray like a
mud doll in the warmer. “Heart rate 70.” The nurse announced. Madelyn suctioned
him. “Still 70.”
“I’ll intubate.” She introduced a
silicone tube down the infant’s throat.
“Heart rate still 70.”
Damn it. Why now? A cold sweat
moistened her temple.
I can’t collapse now. I can’t let her die
.
“Catheter.” The nurse swabbed an antiseptic solution on the preemie’s side.
Madelyn inserted the catheter and pushed.
Steady
.
Fast
. There was
no time to waste. For her sake and the baby’s sake. She hissed and prayed her
hands remained stable. Press harder. Harder.
A gurgling whooshed out of the
newborn’s throat. Madelyn’s sigh echoed as the trapped air escaped from the
collapsed lungs. Slowly the pallor receded and the cute cheeks pinked up. Thank
God, it was over. “You can dress them now and take their vitals.” Sandra knew
what to do next.
Madelyn hardly cast a weary look
at Nick as he concentrated on his patient. With a doctor of his caliber, the
mother would be fine. Her job well-done, Madelyn slipped out of the OR and
raced to her room.
With trembling hands, she
rummaged inside her lunch bag for her sandwich and salad box, and slumped onto
her chair in front of her desk. Not really hungry, she forced herself to bite
and chew. Good thing several bottles of water lined up on the side of her
credenza. Her stock always replenished by a custodian whose baby she’d saved.
She paid him at the end of the week and he made sure she never missed her cold
water supply.
Today could have turned tragic.
Although nobody noticed anything was amiss. Except Sandra maybe. Her sandwich
finished, Madelyn hastened to swallow her pill. There were no more deliveries
scheduled for today. But one never knew if another emergency would fall out of
the blue. Taking advantage of her break time, she lay down on her sofa-bed.
Could she continue to practice in the Neonatology Intensive Care Unit? The NICU
delicate procedures required stable hands and strong nerves.
Good thing Nick had been too
focused on his patient to notice her moment of weakness. But Sandra would
probably grill her with questions at the first opportunity. A knock on the door
had her jump to the chair in front of her desk and grab her bottle of pills to
shove it in her scrubs pocket. Dear Sandra, here she was, straight from OR1.
“Come in.”
Nick stood in the doorway.
Concern wrinkled his forehead. The man frowned way too often. “I came to
apologize for pushing you so hard. I didn’t realize you were so tired until I
saw you sitting on the stool.”
So much for thinking he wouldn’t
notice what happened at the other end of the OR. Like a good mother hen, Dr. Preston
had an extra pair of eyes in the back of his head.
“Don’t worry. The babies are fine
and I took my short break. Ready for more now.”
He remained in the doorway and
stared straight ahead. A muscle twitched in his neck. “Thank God the babies are
doing well.”
The shaking of his head and his
somber expression speared her with guilt. He must have noticed her hands’
tremors. Time to confess the whole thing.
“I’m sorry. I should have—”
“It’s not your fault the mother
didn’t make it. I’m glad you left before the drama.”
“She didn’t?” Oh God he’d lost a
patient. No wonder he looked so depressed. Goosebumps sprouted on her arms at
the horrible news and his grim expression.
“We did everything possible to
save her.” He raked his hair. Irritation or annoyance?
Dr. Preston had never lost a
patient. At least in the last five years he’d worked at St. Lucy’s Hospital.
Before Madelyn could say a word, he snorted. “Can you believe she never went to
a doctor until this morning, didn’t know she was expecting twins?” Fury
twitched his lips and he banged on her door. “The older woman dropped her at
the ER, screaming with pain, and then she left right away. The ultra sound
revealed the twin pregnancy and the blood tests showed the toxemia.”
“Poor girl.” Pity stabbed
Madelyn’s heart for the teenager left to deal on her own with such a difficult
situation. “She should have seen a doctor months ago.”
Crossing his arms over his chest,
Nick stepped inside her office. The tangs of antiseptic and deodorant permeated
his scrubs.
“Between sobs, she managed to
give her name, address, phone number, and a little more information. Only
sixteen, no money, no job. She and her boyfriend, same age, lived with his
mother and her current lover.” His head thrown backward against the door, eyes
closed, Nick mumbled. “Damn it, patients don’t die of toxemia nowadays.”
“A shame in this time of advanced
medicine.” Madelyn had never seen him so rattled. “Nick, have a seat. You’re so
upset.”
His Adam’s apple jumped up and
down as he slumped onto her sofa. “I called the woman who brought her here to
notify her. She said she didn’t want to have anything to do with Casey Willis
who’d been trouble since she came to live with them a year ago. Even accused
her of getting pregnant on purpose to trap her innocent son. Casey’s mother is
in jail for drugs. There’s never been a father around. Child Protective
Services will take care of the twins and maybe put them up for adoption.”
Their work had often exposed them
to heart-wrenching cases. Compassion and frustration warred in her mind. “What
a pity.” Madelyn’s tongue froze on the words. She put an appeasing hand on
Nick’s arm and felt the erratic thump of his pulse under her fingers.
He gulped air as if trying to
calm down. “I know we should distance ourselves from our patients and keep our
objectivity.”
Easy to say. Even Nick had finally
shown a soft side.
“I’m going to check on the
preemies before going home. I hope they’ll find a good home and loving family.”
She stiffened, the subject of motherhood now a forbidden topic for her, more
like a prickly needle in her chest.
“Or they could land with selfish
parents who’ll neglect them.” His somber expression darkened even more.
“Most adoptive parents are great.
They’ve wanted a child for so long. Oftentimes, they’re better than natural
ones.”
“You’re right, but there’s always
that one percent who may neglect their kids.”
Today he bordered on negativity. Maybe
it was up to her to comfort him. “Unfortunately, child neglect happens way too
often. Mostly because the parents are too young, too poor or not ready. It has
nothing to do with adoption.”
She patted his hand and offered
him a sympathetic smile. “You did your best for Casey Willis. Don’t torture
yourself. She’s in a better place. Hopefully praying for her babies to have a good
life. A more promising future than she could offer them.”
“You’re right. We did everything
to save her, but...” He shook his head. Anger and pain still churned in his blue
eyes. “Enough depressing thoughts.” His gaze fell to her fingers covering his.
She blushed and withdrew her hand.
“Thank you for listening and for
your understanding.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “This case made me so
angry. I can’t believe I lost my temper.”
She couldn’t believe it either
but abstained from commenting. Was this man the charismatic Nick, the playboy
rumored to enjoy life to its fullest and never let worry bother him?
“This sofa is way too
comfortable.” He hid a yawn behind his hand. “And tempting,” he added with a
glance at the pillow. “Let’s not waste a free afternoon and evening. Kathy Raynes
has just arrived and Greg is on-call. Can I treat you to a dinner?”
She blinked. No kidding. He
wasn’t wasting time all right.
“Unless you’re tired. Or you
don’t feel like going out.”
“Hmm...” She really wanted to be
with him. Not only as a good friend.
Her gaze dropped to his hands—the
efficient hands she’d often admired from a professional point of view now
rubbed his knees with impatient strokes. How would they feel on her body?
Strong and soft at the same time. Last night, he’d held her while dancing, and
walking, and helping her in and out of his sports car. He’d taken every
opportunity to touch her hands, her waist, her back. And she relished his
touch. Unsettling feeling.
“Madelyn, you’re gone again. I’ve
never seen you so distracted. Are you sure you’re not coming down with a bug?”
He straightened and leaned toward her with his doctor look.
“No bugs. I was debating about going
out or having dinner on my balcony.”
“Really? You want to invite
me...to your place?” His eyes widened so much she chuckled.
“Yes. You mentioned you are
looking for an apartment in my building. I can show you mine, and two neighbors’.
Different layouts.” That should keep them pleasantly occupied until dinner, in
a friendly way.
“Wonderful idea.” He genuinely
returned her smile. “You know, it’s the first time you’ve invited me to your
lair.”
They both burst out laughing. Nervous
laughter that melted the tense moment. He could be such a good friend. Exactly
what she needed. But she’d rather not elaborate on her difficult time in the
OR, or confide in him. Nick had enough on his plate right now. Besides she had
yet to ponder her future and examine all her options.
“What time?” He stood, flexed his
arms, and stretched his back.
“Six o’clock?”
“Perfect.” He looked at his
scrubs. She also looked— a bit too long— and lowered her head to hide her
blush. “I’ll change. And I’ll be there. Can I bring something?”
“Just yourself. I’ll make the
rounds in the NICU before I leave and check on the new twins.” She shoved a
stethoscope in her pocket, felt her bottle of pills, and relaxed.
No matter what happened in her
life she’d always be a physician above all else. A quick glance at her hands
reassured her that things were under control for the moment.
“The babies are lucky to have you
for doctor. You’re a darn good neonatologist, Dr. Ramsay.” Good God, could Nick
read her mind and guess her new insecurities?
Chapter Three
“They’re so cute,” Sandra said
while Madelyn examined one of the twin girls. “Not too small for preemies. Baby
A weighs 5 pounds 8 ounces, and Baby B 4 pounds 2. And look at this blond
duvet. ”
Madelyn glanced at the small head
of Baby A and immediately averted her eyes to the belly where she pressed her
stethoscope. Nick’s explanations about the unfortunate Casey had affected her
more than she cared to admit. In spite of all the theoretical jargon about
doctors staying detached from their patients, she knew that many colleagues
experienced what Nick, and now she were going through. Although... Madelyn
frowned, the metallic disc forgotten on the newborn’s skin.
Nick and she weren’t sharing the
same feelings. His concern focused on Casey. An excellent OBGYN, he hated
losing a patient, because of a stupid mistake—even when it wasn’t his fault. Of
course, Madelyn, too, felt sorry for the teenager who had lost her life so
young, but now looking at these adorable babies...
“Madelyn, are you done with Baby
A? Is something wrong with her?” Sandra touched her arm.
“Yes, I’m done. Doing great.” She
stroked the tip of her finger along the baby’s chin and smiled. Baby A jerked her
arms and feet as if she wanted to stand. “She’s adorable.”
“Isn’t she? I hope I can have a
baby as cute as Pretty One. That’s what I’m calling her,” Sandra added with a
laugh.
Madelyn straightened. “I’m sure
you and Chuck will have gorgeous kids. Soon.” She patted her friend’s arm.
Sandra and her husband had been trying to start a family for more than two years
and had even discussed in vitro.
“I hope so. We’re still trying.
If nothing happen soon, maybe I’ll ask if I can adopt these two.” Sandra’s eyes
filled with a longing Madelyn could well understand. “I called Baby B Little One.
She’s small, but I’m sure she’ll catch up with her sister soon.”
“Why don’t you call them, Liana
and Celia?” Madelyn blurted.