Christian Domestic Discipline 101

Christian

Domestic Discipline

101

Leah Kelley

TCM Publications

Copyright © 2007 by Leah Kelley

All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher.

*** The material contained in this book is for informational purposes only. What the reader chooses to do with this information is his or her responsibility alone. ***

BOOK CONTENTS

What is Christian Domestic Discipline?

Advantages of Christian Domestic Discipline

Introducing CDD to Your Spouse

When You Should Use Caution

Setting Up a Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage

Types of Spankings

Common Alternative Punishments

Common Implements

Common Spanking Positions

Spanking for Punishment

How Much is Enough?

Emotional Stages of a Spanking

Uncooperative Wife

Avoid At All Costs

Bruising/Marks

Aftercare

Making Love

Glossary

Appendix A: Introducing CDD to Husband

Appendix B: Introducing CDD to Wife

CHRISTIAN DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE 101

Mrs. K. was depressed. Married with three beautiful children, she had every reason to be happy, but instead she felt intensely lonely. Her life was not turning out as planned. Her husband seemed to hate her no matter what she did, and her children… well, they were getting older and had lives of their own. Life for Mrs. K. seemed incredibly empty.

Mr. and Mrs. K. had yet another of their late-night quarrels that usually started out as something small and grew to terrible proportions by the argument’s end. The next morning, Mrs. K. packed up all the kids and headed to her mother’s house to think things over. It was obvious things weren’t working out, and Mrs. K. was ready for a change.

But she was terribly sad when she remembered how it had all started out. Mr. and Mrs. K. met at church and established their marriage based on the Word of God. They’d been very happy those early years. Then somehow they got off track. Neither of them could put their finger on it, but they’d forgotten how to get along with each other. Worse yet, as the marriage faltered, so did their relationship with God, until finally their marital problems seemed insurmountable. They were just too different. They didn’t think alike anymore. They disagreed on the tiniest of issues. Unless God intervened, the marriage was at an end.

Mrs. K. tried to pray that weekend, but she was so far from God that all she could do was send up scattered fragments of prayer that sounded a lot like, “God, help us. Please…” So she spent a lot of time deep in thought, trying to get in touch with herself if not with God.

Her younger sister, who lived near their mother, introduced Mrs. K. to some of the spanking stories and websites on the internet and something seemed to click. Mrs. K. had always wished for a strong, authoritative man to take her in hand, and she decided that was just what she needed. She would divorce Mr. K and find herself a man who was strong and wise. Someone who could curb her free-spirit without breaking it… someone she could love and trust…

someone like…

her husband.

The realization nearly took her breath. All along she’d lived with her dream man, and she’d all but destroyed him. She remembered now why she’d fallen in love with him to begin with. He had all the dominant qualities she instinctively knew she needed and wanted in a man, yet the past few years, she’d despised those very same qualities in her husband.

Mrs. K. had to repent. She asked God for forgiveness first and spent time in the Bible re-studying what she already knew but had forgotten. Then she went to her husband, asked his forgiveness as well, and made a commitment to him to be a Godly submissive wife.

Needless to say, Mr. K. was blown away. His thoughts had been along the same line as his wife’s. He’d given up on the marriage and had started planning his life without her. He didn’t know what to think about his wife’s sudden turnabout, and truth be known, he didn’t trust it. His wife’s moods changed with the wind, she moved from one project to the next with mind-boggling speed, and she struggled to maintain even the smallest balance in her life. He feared this was just another of her fleeting ideas that would blow away when the wind next changed course.

But this was different… this was a God-change, and it didn’t go away. Mrs. K. still wrestled with balance, she still struggled to follow through on life, and still hopped from one often expensive idea to the next. Mr. K. loved her free-spirit but recognized it needed reined in if he was to lead in the marriage and the family.

Mrs. K. had spoken to her husband about what she’d been introduced to by her sister and learned more about via the internet... domestic discipline. He found it strange at first, but since he recognized a real need in his wife, he implemented it in their marriage. It wasn’t until later that he learned the value of it in helping his wife become more disciplined and focused. Once that realization set in, life improved dramatically for Mr. K. and the kids, as well as Mrs. K herself.

The preceding story is not a fictional account. It is my own testimony of how God used His plan and
Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD)
to save my marriage.

Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not recommending that couples use CDD to rescue a failing marriage. I’m recommending that couples use
God’s Word
to save their marriage. That may or may not include CDD.

However, a true CDD marriage begins with God’s Word. Before a couple should even consider something as radical as CDD, they must be committed to living in the roles God ordained for them. The husband needs to be in prayer and fellowship with the Lord, seeking His guidance for the family. The wife needs to be in prayer as well, especially for her husband, and she needs to be prepared to yield to his decisions even if they collide with her own will. In an ideal CDD marriage, the husband is following God and the wife is following her husband.

Perhaps you are at the place I was several years ago. Somehow you have learned about this thing called
Domestic Discipline
and it has clicked with you. Maybe you just want to learn a bit more about it, or maybe you even feel you want it in your life. Wherever you are in your journey, it is my prayer I will be able to answer your questions and give you lots of things to think about over the next few pages.

What is Christian Domestic Discipline?

Okay, first things first. If you are reading this book, you probably know that Domestic Discipline is a relationship between two people in which one of them has authority over the other and enforces that authority through
discipline
or
punishment
that often includes
spanking
.

A
Christian
Domestic Discipline is different in that it involves a married couple whose marriage is set up according to the Holy Bible. The husband in a CDD marriage is given authority over his wife and possesses the means to enforce his authority, and the wife agrees to submit to him in all things according to the Word of God.

Whereas the emphasis in a regular Domestic Discipline relationship is often on spanking, in a Christian Domestic Discipline relationship, the emphasis is on living in the roles God has assigned each partner in a marriage. The husband is required by God to love his wife as himself. The wife is required to submit to her husband as unto the Lord within the bounds of God’s Word. The husband is forbidden to be harsh with his wife, and the wife is forbidden to be disrespectful toward her husband.

Not all couples in a Christian Domestic Discipline marriage use spanking as a means of punishment. Some use grounding, writing lines, scolding, and other forms of discipline rather than physical punishment. However, most CDD couples do use spanking, at least at times.

Advantages of Christian Domestic Discipline

I can’t tell you the number of testimonies I’ve read of those who say CDD has saved their marriage, brought them closer together as a couple, or renewed the romance in their relationship, but it is very frequent. On a recent (and ongoing survey) I am doing among the CDD community, the vast majority of responders were at a loss for words when asked, “How has CDD hurt your marriage?” Most of them responded, “CDD has not hurt our marriage in any way,” although a couple of ladies did point out that though their marriages weren’t hurt in the least, their
bottoms
certainly were.

When asked “How has CDD helped your marriage?” on the other hand, responders could not seem to say enough. The most frequent answers given were:

CDD helped the couple to become closer to each other

CDD brought peace to their homes

CDD decreased the number of arguments in their marriage

CDD helped them deal with problems quickly and thoroughly

Other frequent answers included:

CDD helped them become better husbands and wives

CDD enhanced communication

CDD increased trust in their marriage

CDD enhanced their sex lives

And most importantly:

CDD brought them closer to God

No one knows exactly why CDD seems to work so well to restore romance and vitality to marriages, but according to testimony after testimony, it does just that. My theory is that CDD helps couples focus on and live in the roles the Lord has created them to be happiest in.

Wives in a CDD marriage report having a stronger sense of security, a feeling of being protected and cherished. Husbands report an increase in confidence in their leadership abilities as a result of feeling respected. If it is true that a woman’s greatest need is to be cherished and a man’s greatest need is to be respected, it seems CDD fosters contentment in both partners in a marriage.

Introducing CDD to Your Spouse

Okay, so you’ve thought about it, you’ve studied, and you’ve spent a lot of time in prayer. Now maybe you have decided you would like CDD in your marriage. The next step is to… gulp… tell your spouse.