Choking Game (12 page)

EIGHTEEN

Teenage Revenge
@TeenageRevenge
even though I have wings I stay grounded

~You don't have to. Take flight! Don't be afraid.~

"I'm not afraid."

~If you had wings, what would you do?~

"I'd fly as high as I could into the sunset. I always wanted to chase the setting sun. I'd get through the dark orange clouds and keep going until I'd be so close to where the sun hasn't yet set, it'd be like I stopped the time from passing. That'd be a great story."

~What color would that story be like?~

"Dark gray with an orange hue and bright, fiery yellow streaking through it."

~Just like the sunset?~

"Just like it."

Teenage Revenge
@TeenageRevenge
even though I have wings I stay grounded #hope #sunset #wings #flight #freedom #time #life #friendship #follow

"Do you always have to use all these hashtags? They're annoying."

~The only annoying thing is you. Can't you see how well they worked for us? You've got twenty-eight thousand followers! Maybe these people like what you tweet. You need hashtags so that more people can find and like what you have to say.~

"Whatever."

"MJ! Luke said you never sent him the lyrics," Angelica said.

"I'm sorry. I forgot."

~I did too.~

"I have it my notes. Here, I'll text it to him right now."

~How could we both forget it?~

"It's okay. Luke already started working on the movie. I'm really psyched about this video. I think it'll be a good one," Angelica said.

"Oh, no. Look who's coming."

~Oh, no.~

"Hey, gorgeous! Where's the pretty boy? I've got something for him," Ethan said.

"And what would that be?" Angelica said.

"Here," Ethan snickered and stepped aside.

"Gavin!" Angelica called out. "Leave him alone, you jerk!"

"I just can't get enough of you and all those hot names you call me." Ethan walked over to Angelica and whispered in her ear, "How about you and I go out on a proper date? Maybe I can teach you how to be nice to me." Ethan's face hardened, his anger evident in his eyes.

Angelica winked at Gavin, turned and whispered back in Ethan's ear. Ethan jerked his head and stepped back. He motioned to his sidekicks to follow him as he quickly walked away ignoring Luke who just joined them.

"What did you tell him?"

~I'm dying to find out!~

"Yeah, what did you say?" both Gavin and Luke said exactly the same thing.

Angelica put her forefinger on her lips and said, "I know you're jealous of Luke because he dumped you. Coming out is a hard thing for you. You have no idea how fast this rumor will spread on all the social sites. You'll never have a chance to disprove it because almost everyone's dying to make you pay for all the bullying you've done."

"You posted that?" Luke squealed.

"Of course not," Angelica said. "Ethan's not gay, and I'm not a liar. But he doesn't know that. The only thing he understands is how quickly rumors spread. His reaction was his undoing. His sidekicks saw how shocked and nervous he was. That's all I needed. He knows that, too, now. I got him where I wanted him to be. The threat of a rumor like that is enough to keep him away."

"Are you sure about that?" Gavin said.

"Trust me," Angelica said. "He may be a big guy, even a good looking guy, but he's an insecure piece of shit. Why would he be such a bully if he had any self-confidence?"

"I don't get it," Luke said. "You just said he's tall, strong and good looking. How can you not have self-confidence if you're Ethan?"

"What do you know about him? What do you know about his life, his home, his past? People can have all kinds of issues. You never know. Confident people don't need to put others down, that's all," Angelica said.

"I hope you're right and he leaves us alone," Luke said.

"I think he will," Angelica said. "There's someone else I'd be more concerned about if I were you, though."

"Who's that?" Luke said.

Angelica nodded her head toward a group of approaching girls.

"MJ!" Brenna called out. "Does the name TeenageRevenge ring a bell?"

"What's it to you?"

~That's right! What is it to her?~

"I wanted to use that one!" Brenna yelled out. "You stole my idea!"

"What are you talking about? I've had that name for, like, ever!"

~That's right!~

"I don't care. You're gonna cancel your account and leave the name for me. I don't get it how you could have like thirty thousand followers. Your tweets suck!" Brenna said.

"I'm not canceling anything. It's my Twitter name."

~Good for you. She's got some nerve!~

"We'll see about that," Brenna said. "And you," she turned to Angelica, "stay away from Ethan. He's not your boyfriend material."

"Oh, trust me, he's not boyfriend material PERIOD!" Angelica made a face and turned to walk away.

"I don't think you want to start that rumor, Angelica," Luke said.

"She has no idea what I was talking about," Angelica motioned towards Brenna. "Ethan dumped her, and now she's jealous. That's why I said we have to be careful with her. I'm sure she hates me and everyone who's my friend."

"I hate this drama," Gavin said.

"You've got that right," Luke said.

"Why does she want your Twitter name, MJ?" Angelica said.

"It goes way back. She's hated my guts ever since Stanley told her off with that 'old cell phone being an expensive antique' story. She found out later that Stanley fooled her. It was a double whammy for her since she had a crush on him. I guess she was mad at Stanley, but she took it out on me. I couldn't stand her either so when we were waiting one day in the gym for the morning bell to go off, we were brainstorming Twitter names. One of the names she called out was TeenageRevenge, and she really liked it. That's what she said at least. So I created a Twitter account under that name before she did. I know she's been following me for a while. She must have just figured out that TeenageRevenge is me. It must be eating her up."

~You naughty little rascal! I love it!~

"That's cool!" Luke said.

"I didn't think you had it in you. I'm proud of you!" Angelica said.

"Hope you're not following her," Luke said.

"Actually, I am."

~Are you out of your mind?~

"You serious?" Luke said.

"You need to unfollow her," Angelica said.

"Sure, I'll do it right now. What the—"

~What is this?~

"What's up?" Luke said.

"Nothing."

~What do you mean nothing?~

Teenage Revenge
@TeenageRevenge
@BrennaG is a liar, cheat, bully, and a total fake #bullying #teens #meangirls #lying #cheating #hurt #rumors

~How come you're using hashtags? What's so important all of a sudden?~

"Don't you see this? Brenna's flooded my Twitter with so many lies I can't even find anyone else's posts!"

~You should have never followed her.~

"How was I supposed to know she was gonna do this? She's insane! I didn't know that!"

~It's not like this came out of thin air. You said so yourself, you stole her Twitter name idea.~

"I didn't STEAL it! She threw it out there like everyone else did! We had a bunch of names, and we all kind of talked over one another."

~That's not true. You said she liked that name and you went ahead and registered it before she could. Don't lie to me! If you lie, you won't be any better than her!~

"Look what she's writing! None of this is true! Look!"

BrennaG
@BrennaG♥♥♥
stay away from MJ, the crazy loon who'll steal your stuff right out of your backpacks #lunatic #psycho #criminal #loser #loner #pushover

"It's one crazy tweet after another! What the hell is she doing? This is insane! None of this is true! She can't do this!"

~MJ! Calm down, MJ! Turn it off! Don't read this stuff, please.~

"How am I supposed to ignore this? It's me she's lying about! I have to stop her!"

~What are you doing?~

"I'm going to rat her out on all social media. Here, Tumblr first—"

~Oh, my gosh, MJ...~

"What the—"

~She's done the same thing on Tumblr.~

"Look over here. Look at her Facebook. She's telling everybody to unfriend me on Facebook, unfollow me on Tumblr and Twitter, and she's posting all this trash on Instagram and who knows where else!"

~What was that?~

"I got this—"

~What is this?~

"Snapchat. It's—"

~Erase it! Oh, it's already gone. I'm so sorry, MJ.~

"Look, another one."

~How could someone do this? This is not mean. This is cruel! Horrible! Awful! It's gone.~

"It's gone from my phone, but everyone she sent it to saw it. It'll never be gone from my memory."

~It doesn't mean anything, MJ. She drew a picture of you with a rope around your neck. She's mean and stupid, that's all.~

"She wrote,
Why Stanley and not this loser?
! It means everything! To me, it means everything! Brenna's right—why Stanley? He was such a great kid! No one gives a damn about me! It should have been me!"

~MJ! That's not true! You can't think like this! Stanley's death is not your fault. Brenna is cruel, mean, and a bad person. All she cares about is her own self. Don't give in to her crazy stunt. You're a good kid, you have friends now, and you matter!~

"Look! People are catching on! See these posts? Everyone's talking about me. All these mean, untrue things. How can people say stuff that's not true when they don't even know me? Don't they realize how much this hurts?"

~They don't, MJ. It's not an excuse, but posting stuff on the Internet is so easy, so fast, kids do it without giving it a thought. Trust me. Half the people posting do not even know you. They wouldn't know it's you they're writing about even if you stood right next to them. That's why you can't take this seriously. Please, MJ, please turn off your cell phone.~

"What am I supposed to do? Pretend these posts don't exist? Are you kidding me? They do exist! They're all over the Internet, and they'll be there FOREVER! What doesn't exist is me because I don't matter to anybody as a person. I'm a laughing stock right now, and once I'm old news, no one will care what this did to me! I can't keep going back and forth like this. I'm tired. Every time I set myself up and start to believe things are changing, shit like this happens, and I'm back to square one. I'm really tired. Tired of hoping, trying, hurting, and disappointing over and over again. I can't keep doing this. I just can't!"

~MJ! No! Remember, if you kill yourself, I will have to leave you! And I don't want to leave you! It's not all about you. If you destroy me against my will, I will never stop haunting you. Even in death, I'll call you a bloody murderer! You won't just commit suicide, you'll also commit murder! So remember that while you're weighing the pros and cons!~

"I'm not weighing anything. There are no pros and cons. I should have done this a long time ago. All these discussions and endless debates were just a waste of time. It's pointless. I am a loser. Everybody knows it. I can't change a thing. I'm done. I have no friends, and the two I thought I had are now reading all of Brenna's posts and wondering who the hell I am. I'm tired and I'm done! I just want to be alone. I only want to have my peace. I want to be gone, out of here, for good."

~No! MJ! No! No! NOOO!~

"NO! MJ! STOP!" Angelica screamed as she grabbed the rope tied around MJ's neck. The rope was so tight, it took her a while to loosen it. In the meantime...

I lay my aching head, weighted down by the heaviness of being. The haze that enwraps me is thick and soundproof. The only sound that creeps through is the soft sound of footsteps of my approaching date. Once again, Death is the only companion of the confused, tired, wounded mind. Death seems kind in the midst of the upset when all I can think of is the end. Erasing all past, ignoring everyone in the present, foregoing all the possible futures, Death is the moment, the now, and the everlasting.

She's lifting me up, and I see the wings of a butterfly. I will finally soar far, far away from what I've known. On the wings of a butterfly I will drift into infinity. Just one last breath, one last exhale...

"MJ!" Angelica screamed as she shook the lifeless body so hard, the head hit a side of the bookcase.

"Egh, egh, egh..."

~Breathe! Inhale!~

"Uh..."

~Good. One more, MJ. Good.~

"Here, MJ, turn sideways," Angelica said. "Luke, get some pillows."

"Here, MJ," Luke said. "Prop your head."

"I thought we lost you," Angelica said. "You scared us!"

"Why did you come here?"

~To save you! Can't you see that?~

"I saw the posts," Angelica said.

"I did too," Luke said.

"You should have just let me be. This is not what I asked for. I wanted to be done. You should have just let me be."

"No," Angelica said. "It's not that simple. And it's not all about you."

"It IS all about me! I didn't ask you to come and save me! I did what I wanted to do for a long time now! You have no right to barge in here and save me from something I don't need saving from!"

~How dare you talk to them like this!~

"If I was the one trying to kill myself and you knew that's what I was about to do, you'd do that same thing," Angelica said.

"That's different."

~How?~

"How is that any different, MJ?" Angelica yelled out. "I care about you, Luke cares about you, and we see these horrible posts knowing you've been toying with death before. Of course we'll come and make sure you're okay. How could we live with ourselves if we didn't check on you and something happened to you? Can't you understand this is not only about you? It's about the people you leave behind, MJ! Not me, not Luke, but your mom and dad, and the rest of your family. There are people who love you and who'd have to live with the loss. Don't you remember how awful it was when Stanley died? Why would you do that to the people who love you?"

"It's my life."

~That's a really great excuse! Are you kidding me?~

"You don't live in a vacuum, MJ. You may think you do in your own twisted way, but you don't. Everything you do, big or small, affects everyone around you. Maybe you think you have the right to take your own life, but I've got news for you—you have no right to hurt other people by doing it. It cuts both ways, MJ. You can't commit suicide without hurting a lot of innocent people. You have no right to do that."

"What makes you such a know-it-all?"

~You're so mean! This girl just saved your life! Show her some appreciation!~

"I've been there, MJ. Been there, done that," Angelica said.

"What do you mean?"

~Did she just say she tried to kill herself?~

"Go get something to drink and wash your face with some cold water, MJ," Angelica said. "I'll tell you a story I haven't told anyone but my mom."