Choices of the Heart (8 page)

“Are you thirsty, Bobby? Should we go see if Reese has some milk for you?”

“Uh-huh.” He nodded and bounded off her lap.

She held his hand as they walked down the narrow hallway to the stairs.

She wanted to stop in the first room, the one where they’d made love and plans for their future together. Did he still have her picture on the bedside table? She hadn’t noticed the last night she was here. But why would he? She’d left him.

As they started descending the stairs, she held on tight to Bobby, whose little legs weren’t so steady. Reese was standing at the bottom, waiting for them.

“Was he awake?” he asked, taking the boy’s other hand.

Together, he and Chloe lifted him so his feet were off the ground, and he was swinging in the air. Bobby laughed, and they swung him higher. Finally, they let him walk and watched as he ran off to the end of the hall into the kitchen.

“My folks are in there.” Reese turned to her, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. “Could we talk for a bit?”

“Of course,” she agreed.

“Maybe I should send the folks home.” He started walking toward the kitchen. “I’ll run you back there when we’re done.”

“All right.” She followed him into the kitchen.

“We’re gonna talk,” he said to his folks without hesitation. “I’ll run her home later for supper.”

“There’s plenty we gotta decide all together, son.” Mrs. Lloyd looked between Reese and Chloe. “I think it best we work this out together.”

“Dottie, they need to talk.” Mr. Lloyd held his wife’s elbow. “They have plenty to sort out before we get involved. We’ll meet up later when he comes by for supper. We’ll take Bobby with us. Give you two some quiet time.” He took Bobby’s hand. “Come on. Grandma’s got cookies at home for you. Some ice-cold milk too.”

Bobby looked back to Chloe and Reese and waved goodbye.

“We’ll see you later, Mom.” Reese walked them out the back door. When they were out of the house, he turned back to Chloe, a disgruntled, serious look on his face. “So, you wanna get married?”

Chapter Eight

“I thought your parents would raise Bobby. It never occurred to me that Daisy would ask us to do it,” Chloe said. She didn’t know how to answer Reese’s offer, didn’t know if he was serious about marrying her or if it had been said in jest.

“Well, she and Ronnie did.”

They’d moved out onto the porch, where a cool breeze cut through the humidity of the afternoon. Reese lit a cigarette and threw the match on the ground.

“I can’t raise the boy by myself. That wouldn’t be fair to him. Little boys need a mama.”

When Reese asked Chloe to marry him years earlier, she’d said yes with great pleasure. She’d never imagined having an opportunity to leave Broken Bow and pursue a nursing career. His proposal this time was bittersweet.

“What about Isabelle?” The woman popped into Chloe’s mind without warning.

“What about her?” Reese snapped.

“Have you considered marrying her?” She fussed with her hairpins, not sure what else to do with her shaky hands. Chloe didn’t want to know the answer, but they had to lay their cards on the table. It was only fair for Bobby to do things this way. Honestly.

Reese met her gaze but didn’t answer. He leaned back in the rocking chair and set it to moving. Tension continued to spike as they stared at each other in silence.

“I suppose that really is none of my business,” she told him finally when the silence was about to choke her. She settled into a chair opposite him.

Despite the strain between them, the sound of the wooden legs of his rocker as they rubbed rhythmically on the porch calmed Chloe’s nerves. Her life had taken a spin without warning, and she didn’t like the loss of control.

“Under any other circumstances, I would say you are right, but this isn’t just any situation.”

“I’ll sign the papers,” she told him. “I’ll name you and Isabelle as guardians for Bobby.” She stood again, agitation and his unwavering stare making it difficult to sit still. “I don’t know anything about raising children.” It came out as a whisper. It was the truth, and no matter how much her heart had already been stolen by Bobby, he deserved better. He and Reese both deserved better.

“I don’t either, Chloe Anne.” Reese turned toward her. “Daisy and Ronnie chose
us
. They trusted you and me with their
son
. Leaving me the land is one thing. They want us to raise their son. I can’t believe you would just walk away from Bobby, too.”

“As in,
I walked away from you
?” Chloe turned to him, arms folded across her chest, ready for battle. “And now you think I am leaving Bobby?”

“Sure appears that way. It seems you think a lot about yourself and not much about anyone else. Maybe it’s part of the
flapper
life you lead or just your immature selfishness. But whatever it is, your sister and my brother thought we—you and me”—he pointed to her and back to himself—“not me and Isabelle—were the best choice to raise their son.”

“I
am
thinking about Bobby. I don’t think I would be a very good mother,” Chloe sputtered, trying to put together a coherent argument.

“I don’t think that’s it a’tall. I think you are in love with Lincoln and the fast, free life you have there. Maybe you got men there that you’re stringing along, too. But you know what? You’re twenty-two, girl, and it’s about time you grew up and did something for someone else. Put our nephew’s needs first, ahead of your own.”

He stood and stalked off the porch, but Chloe wouldn’t let him get away so fast.

“That’s a load of hogwash, Reese Lloyd.” She grabbed his shoulder and turned him toward her. “I help people every day. That’s my job, healing people in need, caring for their ailments.”

“You do it because you
like
it.” He crossed his arms at his chest and glared down at her. “You do it because it makes
you
happy.” His cheeks flushed.

“Well, of course I like it. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t. Why do you farm?” She poked him in the chest. “Because you enjoy it.” She crossed her arms, matching his pose.

After a deep breath, she decided it was time for another tactic. “I suggested Isabelle for your benefit and for Bobby. She lives here, and it looks like she cares about you. Surely she’d make a fine mother for Bobby.” The lump in her throat blocked the rest of what she was about to say—
and a wife for you
. She looked away, watched the horse she’d rode last night come near the fence, waiting for a handout. “You don’t want to marry me, Reese. You’ve begun something with Isabelle.”

“You never asked me to come to Lincoln with you.”

“What?” Where did that shift in conversation come from?

“When you left here.” He shrugged. “When you left me after we made love in my bed—our bed—in the room you furnished and decorated for our life together. You never once asked me to come with you.”

Did he realize what he was saying?

“You would have come?” Chloe shook her head in shock. It hadn’t occurred to her that he would consider leaving the farm for her. He was right; she’d never even considered it!

“I made good grades in school. I could have gone to the University of Nebraska while you studied nursing. Hell, maybe I could have got a veterinary degree.”

“I never thought—”

“You never asked, did you?” he snapped. “You didn’t think of anyone except yourself. You wanted to leave. You wanted to be a nurse. You never even considered what I might want. You never gave me the chance to make a choice. But maybe that was part of it, too. You figured you could do better than some poor sap farm boy.”

Incredible. All this time, and she hadn’t had a clue he’d felt this way. Her stomach twisted, imagining that maybe they could have gone to Lincoln together. What would life have been like the past two years with him at her side?

“I need to sit down.” She turned from him and walked slowly back up onto the porch, mind whirling with possibilities. When he joined her, she continued.

“You can’t think I went looking for men, Reese. It’s simply not true. But you are right about one thing. I didn’t ever even consider you would leave the farm and come with me.” She swallowed back the bile rising from her stomach. What a huge mistake she had made. “My focus was on leaving my father’s abuse and going to the city to develop myself into something better.”

“And finding someone new.”

“Not that, Reese, never that,” she repeated, suppressing the tiny twinge of guilt she felt when she thought of Dr. Tom. But she hadn’t been looking for a man when she’d met Tom, so really she wasn’t lying.

Rather than sitting, she felt compelled to pace the length of the porch, thinking that somehow, the answer to this problem would fall from the sky. Reese remained silent, no doubt waiting for her to speak, but she needed to sort out the jumbled thoughts in her head.

What did she want this time? It would take more than a few minutes to decide, but she saw Isabelle as an easy answer, if only he could see it too. Maybe she
was
selfish. To step back into a community that ignored her abuse for so many years, back to a place where her father could disgrace her as he pleased, whenever the mood stirred him, was ridiculous.

But… What if…?

“So move to Lincoln with me.” She stopped pacing and paused right in front of his chair. “Right now. You, Bobby and me. There are plenty of opportunities for hardworking men there. You could still go to veterinary school. There is plenty of money for that, and I can nurse, and we’ll raise Bobby as a family.”

That was as far as she would go. She wouldn’t admit how excited she was about the idea. If she did, and he said no, it would just hurt more.

“I’m too old to go to school now.”

“Twenty-six is hardly too old, Reese,” she argued.

He waited a beat before coming up with another excuse. “My father can’t farm all this himself,” he answered. “We’ve grown too much over the past few years.”

“He can hire someone,” she said. “Then when you finish up school, we’ll come back. By then, hopefully my father will be in hell where he belongs, and you can do both. Farming and animal doctoring.”

“Chloe, the farm is in my blood.” He shook his head. “I can’t leave it.”

“And you wouldn’t have gone two years ago, either.” So, she hadn’t been wrong about what his answer would have been years earlier. He wouldn’t have left then. Disappointed, she continued, “And I can’t come back here. I
won’t
come back here.” She sat again and crossed her legs. “Not with my father. Not with the attitudes of the people in this town.”

“I think you underestimate the people here. They’re honest, hardworking…”

“Old-fashioned, judgmental, critical, hurtful gossipmongers, you mean.”

“That’s not how I see them.” He rocked some more as he lit another cigarette. “I’m sorry you feel that way. ’Course, maybe that is how you look at me, too.”

That caught her by surprise.
Did
she see him that way? He didn’t look like a hayseed. His clothing was stylish, as up-to-date as anything she’d ever seen worn by a man in the city. He had plenty of recent books lying around in piles, magazines beyond
Farmer’s Almanac
and seed catalogs. His house needed work but nothing a woman’s hand couldn’t cure.

“No, that’s not true.” Chloe rubbed her temples and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and sighed. “I didn’t mean to offend you.” She opened her eyes and focused on him. “It’s just—”

“What? You’re better than the folks here? Because you left Broken Bow? Suddenly, living in the city makes you all swanky and worldly?”

“I’m leaving.” She stood abruptly and about knocked over the chair. “We’re talking in circles, and frankly, your opinion of me is offensive.” She stepped off the porch and started the short walk to his folks’ place.

“You’re the one who called us backward. We aren’t all a bunch of bumpkins,” he called to her.

She kept her back ramrod straight as she walked away. It hurt, what he said. It wasn’t terribly far from the truth, however. It
was
what she thought of the people here. So what was worse? Her opinion of them or the fact that her opinion was probably wrong—stereotypical? She’d end up eating her words. And that made her mad.

Was she selfish?

Why the hell had she worn the fancy heeled shoes to Reese’s today? She hadn’t anticipated walking the quarter-mile to the Lloyd’s, but here she was. If Reese was a gentleman, he’d come behind her, pick her up and take her to his folks. But he was fit to be tied. And who could blame him? She’d criticized him in his own house.

She gave of her heart every day at the hospital. Wasn’t she right to look out for herself? It wasn’t as if she ever had anyone else to look out for her. Her father beat her, her mother allowed it to happen—not that she could have stopped him, even if she’d tried—and then was beaten to death herself. And Daisy got out as soon as she could, running off with Ronnie.

Chloe stopped walking and pulled a hanky from her wristlet to wipe her brow. It was hot, and she was stupid.

Reese had always been there to look out for her. From when they were both little, he’d been her shadow, watching over her, caring for and about her.

What a Dumb Dora she was!

Isabelle’s face appeared in her mind. Did Chloe want her raising Bobby? Reese was right. Daisy chose Chloe and Reese to do the job, and that’s what she would do.

For Chloe, it was no great hardship to see herself married to Reese. He was still a dreamboat in her eyes. Handsome, smart, funny, everything she could want. The men in Lincoln had paled in comparison. She’d thought her memory of him had placed him on a false pedestal, but now she knew that it was fact.

How in Heaven’s name would they work this out? It didn’t seem like there was a viable compromise. He wouldn’t give in, and how could she? Poor Bobby would get caught right in the middle.

She still loved Reese. It was obvious the more time she spent with him. Her feelings were still as strong, despite the years spent apart. They might have changed but not so much that they were no longer compatible. Did he still care for her? Was that why he suggested marriage, or was it only for Bobby’s benefit?

She stopped walking and eased her feet from the impractical shoes. Better to walk barefoot on the grass next to the gravel road. It reminded her of the days when she would walk between her home and Reese’s parents’, barefoot, without a hat, sometimes even in dungarees.

He was still attracted to her. She’d missed his lips, the tender way he held her head in his hands while they touched. It still felt so right. But to move back here, give up the life she’d chosen, was inconceivable. Her father was obviously still abusive, and being Reese’s wife wouldn’t change that any. He couldn’t always be there to defend her. But what choice did she have? Bobby needed her, and quite possibly she needed him, too. And Reese. She needed him, too.

The far building on the Lloyds’ place came into view as she reached the top of the hill. She would be relieved to have a cool glass of lemonade when she reached her destination.

The clothes she wore now were heavier, older than the ones she had in Lincoln. She’d toned down her look for her stay here. No reason to shock the people of Broken Bow. Most had probably seen the pictures of girls in scandalous flapper attire but she didn’t want to be seen that way.