Choices (5 page)

“Jeesh, we got a brain in among us. How come you’re not practicing?” Ben asked, leaning back in his chair.

“Well, I got married, right after graduation. That’s pretty much it.”

“Any kids?” Kassey asked.

              “No, my husband wanted to wait until his career solidified.”

Kassey nodded, guessing it was a sore subject. She sensed something deep there, though. It was Kassey’s turn to change the subject.

“Are you one of those people who think that wolves should be returned to the wild?” Kassey threw down the gauntlet, the biggest contention between ranchers and environmentalists everywhere.

Abby, who had been hoping that someone would get off the su
bject of her ex-husband, almost let out a groan. Not a good subject for discussion at a cattle rancher’s table and she couldn’t believe Kassey put her on the spot like that. She wondered if the temporary truce between the two of them was now over. She chose her words carefully, not wanting to get on anyone’s bad side, and it looked as if everyone wanted to know her opinion. Ben and Kassey looked at her speculatively, while Jake looked like he was ready for a shootout. Logan just sat back in his chair, and watched her with hooded eyes.

“I’m a rancher’s daughter, okay? My first allegiance is to a rancher’s way of life. I’m not an activist, and I understand about predation and losing valuable animals to big predators.”

It seemed that everyone let out a sign of relief.

“But.”

Now everyone sat up straighter, Logan leaning forward and putting his elbows on the table.

              “I also believe that a wild animal has as much right to the land as we do and that there are ways to control the predator population to prevent them from taking over an area.” Abby finished, her own elbows planted on the table, looking almost defiantly around the table. Ben snorted and said sarcastically, “What, by sterilizing them? You’ve got to be kidding me. What’s that going to do? Plus, it would be pretty hypocritical to put wolves back in the wild then stop them from breeding. The whole point was to reintroduce them, not just give tourists something to ohh-and-ahh over.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well, what else would you say then? That’s the major suggestion with most environmentalists.” Jake asked. That had to be the longest sentence Abby had heard him say yet.

“I think there should be a hunting season for wolves. A lotto system, with a certain amount of tags given out every season, that allows selective hunting. Also, better practices for keeping up with splinter packs. Fish and Wildlife have asked ranchers to keep an eye out for splinter packs, but notice isn’t turned in until a rancher shoots a wolf on his property then claims it was because of predation. It’s not a new idea, but for some reason, it doesn’t seem to want to catch on out here. My father never had a problem reporting a splinter pack on the ranch, even when they took out five calves in one week. By right’s he could’ve shot the ones he did see, but my father has a love of all the animals on his property, not just the ones he owns. With most ranchers it’s “kill ‘em all” and with the activists, they don’t stop to think about a rancher’s way of life. They don’t understand the damage a wolf does when it kills cattle. With them, it’s let’s sterilize them selectively.” Everyone was silent for a little bit, each mulling over what Abby said. Abby held her breath.

“She’s alright by me, although I still think that they should be shot on sight.” Ben finally said, then reached forward and started eating again. Abby let out the breath she was holding in, and dug into her food. The rest of the meal passed with everyone talking and laughing, even Jake. Abby was trying to watch everyone to get a feel for them. It seemed she was wrong about Logan and Kassey being married, seeing as though she and Ben kept giving each other loving looks when they thought no one was watching, and Jake seemed just as shy as she originally thought him to be. He didn’t talk too much, and when Abby asked him questions, he ducked his head when he answered her. Logan sat quietly, letting everyone talk around him, not asking many questions, only when Ben asked her about her life as a cattleman’s daughter.

“Well, it was much like life here is, I guess.” Abby replied, leaning back in her chair. She was full, and hadn’t eaten that much in a long time.

Logan finally spoke. “Did you do any work out there?” his tone suggesting that he wouldn’t believe her if she said yes.

Abby gave him a long look. She leaned towards him, her left arm leaning on the corner of the table, and said, a little drawl coming into her voice, “Honey, I can rope and ride with the best of them. Junior calf roping champion in 1988.” Ben let a whoop and Logan stared back at her, and threw down a challenge.

“You’ll just have to prove that tomorrow.”

Abby sat back and nodded, accepting the challenge.

“I ran fence lines, herded with and without dogs, and one memorable spring, got to wield the branding iron. That was one job I did not repeat. No thank you.” Abby laughed. God, she was really enjoying herself. She hadn’t laughed so much in years, and despite the rocky welcome, everyone was now treating her warmly. She sat back again and just listened to everyone talking. Ben was teasing Jake about something he did, or didn’t do, with a girl from town, Kassey was sticking up for Jake and Logan lounged back in his chair, watching the others like she was.

God, he was amazing. She had never seen anyone quite like him before.She watched him from the corner of her eye, how he leaned nonchalantly back in his chair, his right arm bent at the elbow on the arm of the chair, chin resting on his hand. He had a soft smile playing about his lips, lips she wanted to feel on her body. Abby jerked her gaze back to the table. She really needed to stop thinking like that. She had to remember that she was newly single; the last thing she needed to be doing was drooling over a man.

At that moment, her cell phone rang from inside her jeans pocket and she stood up from the table.

“Sorry guys, I’ll be right back.”

Everyone at the table nodded and Abby walked back to the kitchen, not noticing how Logan’s eyes followed her progress.

She flipped open her phone and answered it.

“’Lo?”

“Abby, is that you?”

“Ye
ah, Joyce, what’s going on?” Joyce was her best friend back in Boston, and Abby cringed. She was supposed to have called when she got to the ranch, to check in and tell she had made it ok.

“Well, kinda worried that you haven’t called, but I have news.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot. Just been kind of unwinding since I got here. What’s up?” Abby asked, but had a sinking feeling in her stomach. Joyce was a reporter for the Boston Globe, and had a knack for digging up dirt. If she had news, it was probably big news.

“First, you know I love you right? And although I couldn’t stand your husband, I still wanted you to be happy, right?”

Abby sat down on the bench where she had hung her coat. She had a bad feeling.

              “Yes, I know all that. What’s going on Joyce?”

  “Well, I dig some digging…on Steve.” She said sheepishly.

              “Joyce, you know I love you, right? So why did you do that? It’s over, I don’t need to hear anything else.”

             
“I needed to see Abby, to know if he had only cheated on you the one time. I know it’s grim and you don’t need to be reminded of it, but I was curious.” Joyce’s voice was defensive, but she went on resolutely, “And he had Abby, for at least the last two years. I’m sorry, but I’ve asked around. I snooped at the hospital, asked some friends of mine there. He’s a regular Casanova with the nurses.”

              “Joyce, why would you do that? I don’t care anymore what he did to me.”

             
“Honey, I just thought…”

Abby let the phone drop into her lap, hearing Joyce’s voice come through the airwaves, calling her back. All she could hear was roaring in her ears. Two years? She didn’t have to hear Joyce’s
evidence to be sure; Joyce was good at her job. What a fool she had been. Two years ago was when she had started to talk to Steve about getting counseling, trying to find out what was going wrong with their marriage, but he had just laughed it off, saying their marriage was fine, and she was imagining things.

It shouldn’t matter now, it shouldn’t, but it hurt, hurt as bad as when she found out about the affair he was having that ended their marriage. She picked the phone back up, said “I’ll call you back.” And flipped it shut. She stood, her legs unsteady, and walked back into the dining room.

Logan knew at once something was wrong; her eyes were bright with unshed tears and her face as white as the snow outside. He stood up, but she put her hand up. Ben and Kassey stopped talking and looked up, and Jake also half rose out of his chair.

              “Thank you for a lovely night. I have to go.” Abby said, her voice shaking. She turned on her heel and walked out. They heard the kitchen door slam. Kassey looked at Logan.

             
“You’d better go after her. She doesn’t look good, Logan.”

Logan just nodded; he had already been walking around the table. He grabbed his jacket and truck keys from the hall bench and ran out to his truck. He could just see her taillights winking around the corner. He jumped in and took off after her.

Abby made it back to her cabin, but she didn’t know how. Her vision was blurred with unshed tears, and her legs and arms shook. She sat for a second and tried to calm her racing heart, but it seemed that it just wouldn’t stop, and then the tears came, hot and fast down her cheeks.

She didn’t even notice
the SUV door being opened and Logan reaching in for her, lifting her up in his arms. All of a sudden the cold hit her and she looked at Logan, his mouth set in a grim line. She realized she was in his arms, and she curled into him and let the tears come as they may. He was safe, he felt safe, and he would take care of her. How she knew that she didn’t know. She just felt it.

Logan hoped she hadn’t locked the door, and she hadn’t. He opened it with some difficulty, but didn’t put her down. He kicked it shut with his heel and moved with her into the living room and sat down on the sofa with her. He held her while she poured out her grief, making soothing noises and running his hands up and down her back. She was so cold, and trembling. What had happened? What was that phone call
about? He rocked her in his arms, and waited while she got it all out, until her sobs had turned into sniffles and her trembling subsided.

Abby lay curled on his lap, staring at the blackened fireplace. How did she come to this? Curled on a stranger
’s lap, thousands of miles away from a life that was falling apart? Why did Joyce have to do that? Couldn’t she have left well enough alone? The end of their relationship had come and gone and was done, it’s not like she could go back and do it all over again.

What’s done is done, as her father liked to say, but life sure sucked. She felt Logan’s ha
nds on her back, strong hands, callused from hard work, and they felt so soothing. His head rested on top of hers, and she felt safe again, like he was a port in a storm. She wanted to stay like this forever, but she knew she couldn’t.

Logan felt her move, and he loosened his arms. She sat up and looked at him, her lashes spiky with tears, and her eyes glistening. He started to reach out, wanting to touch the smooth skin of her cheek, but he stopped.

“Do you want to talk?” he asked, searching her eyes, as if he could find an answer to her grief in them.

Abby looked away, thinking that she just wanted to lose herself in him, just for tonight. To let him make her forget her pain. She nodded, and turned back to him.

              “Yeah, I do. It might help.” She got up, and flicked the switch for the gas logs to come on and then went into the kitchen.

“Would you like some coffee?” She asked him, putting the pot on.

“Sure. I take it black.”

Abby waited in the kitchen until the coffee was done, then took the cups of coffee out to the living room. She handed him his, and then folded herself down in front of the fire. She looked up at him.

“You still want to know why I’m out here alone?”

Logan sat up and leaned forward, his coffee cup clasped in his large hands. He nodded.

  “I told you I’m divorced, but I’m newly divorced. It was final the day before I left Boston to come out here. I came out here to think, get some perspective. That call was a friend of mine calling to tell me that she just found out my ex had been cheating on me with every nurse in the hospital where he works.”