Choices (18 page)

Maybe he was selling her short, thinking that money mattered more to her than it did, but she was used to a certain lifestyle, and as she had said in the beginning, they had 13 years together. She and Logan had only two weeks. Would it be enough?

“Logan?” she whispered, feeling him tense under her. She had upset him, and she wanted to take it away.

“Hmmm?”

“Make love to me.”

He didn’t reply, just stood with her in his arms and carried her into the tent. They made love gently, almost reverently, as if they both felt it would be the last time. Logan worshipped her body, bringing her again and again to explosive climax, and she t
ortured him with her mouth and hands. They fell into an exhausted sleep in the early morning hours, tangled around each other.

Chapter Ni
ne

They were subdued, both lost in thought as they made their way back down to the ranch. Abby tried to cheer herself up, thinking about the dance later on that night, but thoughts of what to do tomorrow clouded what little cheer she could muster. Officially, she should check out tomorrow, but Logan had said that she could stay as long as she needed to, but she felt an anxiousness in her stomach that had grown in leaps and bounds since waking that morning. She didn’t know where it was coming from, and it was grating on her. Logan hadn’t pressed her anymore, but she knew he was thinking about their future as much as she was, but this was different, almost as if she could feel a gathering storm. She should go back to Boston, as she had intended to do when her two weeks were up here, and get everything in order, then come back, and then she and Logan could concentrate on the future, with no distractions. That felt like the right choice, but still her stomach churned.

“When we get back, I’ve got some things to do, and then I’ll meet you at the cabin and pick you up. Sound good?” Logan asked her as they rode into the stable yard. He tried to sound casual, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. He wasn’t sure that was how it sounded. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was losing her, that last night had been the last night they would ever be together. It was silly, he knew, but he couldn’t stop the feeling from washing over him in pounding waves.

“That’s fine. Kassey and I are going into town for some shopping. I don’t have a dress to wear.” Abby replied, dismounting. She legs were sore, most likely from all the riding that she hadn’t done for so long. Between the long ride and making love all night, they felt like jelly.

“You don’t need a dress, it’s just a barn dance.” He laughed, but it was almost forced.

“I still want to look good. All I have is jeans and t-shirts.”

He looked back at her, gazing at her with an intense hunger in his eyes.

“That’s all you need.” He said simply, and then turned to undo the cinch of the saddle. His look and words went far to warm her cold insides.

“Well that’s alright for you, but I want to impress all your friends.” She replied, slipping the saddle off Ellie’s back. She let it lean on the ground, then took a hoof pick out of her back pocket and bent to clean out Ellie’s hooves. Logan watched her, appreciating the view of her bent over, presenting her back side that filled out her jeans nicely. He had to get out of this funk he was in.

He turned his attention back to Bridger, cleaning out her hooves and brushing her down, and they worked in companionable silence, the first comfortable silence between them since last night.

When the horses were back in their stalls, munching hay, Logan walked her back to the cabin, his hand clasped in hers. He kissed her on the front porch and turned to walk away.

“Logan, we’ll get through this.” Abby said. He stopped and turned around, and smiled at her, but there was a sadness there she didn’t like.

“I know. It’ll all work out in the end.” He replied, and then walked away.

But would it work out for the best for both of them?

“How was Logan when he came back this morning?” Abby asked Kassey through the dressing room door where she was trying on another dress. Kassey popped her head over the door and said, “I like that one. Very floaty. He was fine. Said you all had a great time, and of course Ben had to start in on him.”

Abby heard hesitation in her voice though, and walked out of the dressing room to look Kassey in the eye. “Please Kassey, don’t lie. Is he okay?”

Kassey sat down on the little bench by the dressing room, her face clouding with worry. “No. What happened up there? He really did say you had a great time, but we know him. Something is bothering him.”

“I screwed up, that’s what’s wrong.” Abby huffed and turned around and went back in to take off the dress. It was the fourth she had tried on, and she would take it. It was perfect.

Kassey popped her head back over the door. “What did you do?” she asked, but there was only concern in her voice, no recrimination.

“Let me get dressed and pay for this, then we’ll go get something to eat and I’ll explain it all.”

“Okay, we’ll figure it out.”

Abby sighed. Just like that. She had expected Kassey to go on the offensive for Logan when she said she had screwed things up, but she hadn’t, just offered to help fix it. Maybe she was too quick to judge people, using bad experiences in her past to cloud her judgment. She expected people to react in set ways that she thought she had all worked out in her head.

Abby paid for her dress and they left the store, walking down the sidewalk to a little restaurant that proclaimed to make a better Caramel Macchiato than Starbucks. They took a booth by the window, and after the waitress had taken their order and brought back coffee, Kassey sat back and said, “Spill it.”

Abby grimaced. “He wanted to know where things were going with us.”

“That’s normal. I would want to know the same thing. Where is this going to go?” Kassey asked, stirring sugar into her coffee.

“I can’t give him the answer right now that I think he wants to hear.”

“What do you think he wants to hear?” Kassey asked, watching her contemplate her coffee cup.

“I think he wants to get married, and I just don’t think I’m ready for that. Hell, I’m not even a month divorced yet.” Abby sat back in her seat, rubbing her forehead, as if she could take away the tension there.

“What makes you think he wants to get married right away?” Kassey went on. Abby gave her a wry smile. “You sound like a shrink.”

“Well, it seems that you know him so well to read his mind.” She replied smartly, sticking her chin out.

“Kassey, you were the one who told me he had never loved anyone before, and that you thought I was the one he’s been waiting on all these years. Was that just talk?” Abby said, going on the defensive.

“Touché. You
’re right. Everything you said is right. He probably does want to marry you, but why do you think he’s going to push it on you? Give him some credit Abby. Logan knows what you’re going through, and he probably can read you like you can read him, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to drop to one knee and propose tomorrow.” She shot back.

“I know, I know. I should have just told him what I thought.” Abby said, frustrated she hadn’t said anything to him. They could have just talked about their plans, their hopes. Nothing had to be carved in stone just yet.

“What do you think? Are you going to walk away from him or stay?” Kassey asked softly, dreading her answer. She didn’t want to see either one of them hurt.

“I want to stay. I just found him, Kassey, I don’t want to let him go, but I’m just not ready to jump back into marriage. God, what do I tell him?” she groaned, dropping her head into her hands.

“Okay, first off, you don’t know that he’s going to propose to you right?” Kassey asked, and Abby nodded her head.

“Abby, just let it take its natural course. If he asks you again, just tell him what you feel. You love him, he loves you; you both can get passed this. If your uncomfortable jumping right back on the marriage wagon, tell him! You won’t lose him.” Kassey whispered vehemently, resisting the urge to shake her. God save her from people that thought too much!

“I know, you’re right. I’m letting myself think too much,” Abby said, reading Kassey’s mind. “I always have. I have to analyze everything to the nth degree, look at it from all angles before I make a decision.”

“Well, you can’t do that with matters of the heart, it doesn’t work that way.”

“Do you think I’ve hurt him?” she whimpered, tears threatening.

Kassey reached out and placed her hand over Abby’s where she had them gripped on the table. “Oh, honey, he probably is, but just tell him how you feel. As long as he knows you’re not going to leave him, he’d move heaven and earth to make you happy.”

“I know, it’s one of the things that I love about him. He’s very selfless.”

Kassey leaned back and snorted. “He’d do it because he wants you in his life, no matter how he can get you. That’s selfish, but a very good kind of selfish.”

“For a woman who found the love of her life, you seem very jaded.” Abby sniffed, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin.

“I’m not jaded, I just know how people think. I would do anything for Ben, because I know he’s with me to stay. Letting go of the person you love, not knowing whether or not they’ll come back, that’s selfless.”

“It won’t come to that. I won’t let it. No matter what happens, we’ll be together.”

“God I hope so, I couldn’t stand him moping about the house if you left. And then I’d have to track you down and bring you back.”

Abby laughed, and grinned at her, glad to have found a true friend.

When they got back to the ranch, Abby sat with Kassey in the office for a while chatting before they parted ways to get ready. Logan called and said he would meet her at the dance; he was still stuck in town, finishing up business. He sounded fine, so Abby told him she would catch a ride with Ben and Kassey and meet him there. She took her time getting ready, putting on makeup for the first time since coming to the ranch. She enjoyed the time it took to “girly up” as Kassey called it, but didn’t miss doing it every day, even to go to the gym. She slipped her dress on, and stood back to make sure everything looked good.

Her dress was silk georgette that swirled around her ankles, strapless, with tiny white flowers on a black background. It cinched in at her waist, and was topped off with a black sweater. She had purchased a pair of black cowboy boots, and wore them, giving her the look of the west. Not something that would fit in Boston, but was perfect for Montana. She hoped Logan would like it. All he had seen her in were jeans and t-shirts and bulky jackets. Well, and naked, but she knew the power of clothing could make a difference. She wanted to knock his socks off!

When Ben and Kassey came to the cabin to get her, Ben gave a low whistle and Abby giggled as Kassey smacked Ben in the shoulder playfully.

“What? I can’t appreciate a woman lookin’ good?” Ben teased, and was rewarded with another smack.

“Appreciate this woman looking good” Kassey replied tartly, but Abby could see that she was joking. Kassey was wearing a coral dress, also in georgette, with an empire waist that showcased her curves.

“I already did appreciate you lookin’ good.” Ben whispered, pulling her tight to his side. It was Kassey’s turn to giggle.