Chocolate Girls (22 page)

They at least had the bedroom to themselves, as Ethel was out. The Lucky Dips were doing a show for the night shift at the Austin works. But having the boys next door through the thin wall made it impossible to relax together. Ruby undressed quickly, feeling suddenly shy as Frank seemed so tense and distant from her. She slipped on her nightdress and got into bed. The springs creaked horribly and Frank tutted angrily. Ruby lay with her dark hair spread over the pillow and watched him undress in the candlelight. His body was lean and muscular, skin gleaming in the shadowy light. She felt excitement rise in her as she watched him. What a figure of a man!

‘Come on,’ she patted the bed. ‘In ’ere, gorgeous.’

Without a word he came and looked down at her for a moment, his face expressionless. Then he climbed in. The springs shrieked.

‘Jesus Christ!’ he muttered furiously. ‘What a homecoming.’

‘Never mind, it don’t matter.’ Ruby stroked his chest, trying to relax him. ‘Come on, we’ll make you feel better.’

Their lovemaking didn’t take long. Once they’d dispensed with the last of their clothes, Frank had barely touched her before he was pushing Ruby on to her back and thrusting into her with sharp, aggressive movements until he climaxed with a groan, head flung back, arms braced rigid. She wanted to tell him to be careful. What if he hurt the baby? But she might as well not have been there. He climbed off and lay on his back, reaching for cigarettes and lighting up. He smoked in silence. There wasn’t room for Ruby to lie on her back as well, so she lay squashed on her side, watching him. A lump came into her throat. She was so lonely, coping on her own all the time, even though she tried to make the best of it. Her mom was no help: Edie did her best to be a pal, but she was so thick with Janet now. Frank was the one who was supposed to make it all right. He was her husband, after all! Why didn’t he take her in his arms and say he loved her? How could she tell him they were going to have a baby when he was like this?

‘Frank?’ She kept her voice soft and even, though she felt so sad, the beginnings of her own desire burning unsatisfied between her legs.

He turned his head a little. ‘What?’

‘I’ve summat to tell yer. A surprise.’

‘Yeah, you said. What?’ He didn’t sound very interested.

‘Frank!’ It came out almost as a wail. ‘Look at me, won’t yer? Give me a cuddle, eh?’

He stubbed out the last of his cigarette and turned over, putting his arms round her. She snuggled against him, reassured.

‘Guess what?’ she said into his chest. ‘I’ve been dying to tell you, only I wanted you to be here. I found out, last week – I’m expecting, Frank. We’re going to have a little babby of our own!’

There was no reaction for a moment. Then he moved over on to his back again and gave a long sigh. Ruby was cut to the heart.

‘Well, say summat. Aren’t you pleased?’

Frank pushed back the covers and sat on the edge of the bed. He lit another cigarette and breathed out the first lungful of smoke. ‘When?’

‘November, the doctor said.’

There was silence, then again she heard him say, ‘
Christ.
’

‘Frank!’ Ruby couldn’t hold back her tears any longer. She sat up and touched his back. Why didn’t he take her in his arms and tell her how pleased he was? Why was he being so cold and cruel? ‘I thought you’d be happy, us starting a family. It’s your little babby, Frank, maybe a son for yer! Oh tell me you love me and you’re pleased?’

He got up with a wild movement and went to the window, pushing back the curtains and forcing the sash up, Ruby almost thought he was going to jump out.

‘Frank!’

‘I never bargained for all this.’ He turned round, abruptly. ‘I mean when we got married I wasn’t thinking straight. I never thought how it’d be. Coming back ’ere, nowhere to call our own, no freedom. And then a screaming kid on the way. I can’t do this, Rube. I feel trapped. I can’t breathe.’

Ignoring her sobs, he snatched up his clothes and hastily put them on.

‘I’m going to our mom’s. I can’t even ’ave a bed to meself in ’ere.’

‘Oh Frank, don’t leave me.’ She got up to try and stop him.

‘
Don’t.
’ He pulled away from her. ‘Look, Rube, I’ll see yer around. Give me a chance for it to sink in, all right?’

And he was gone, down the stairs. She heard the back door bang shut, his footsteps along the street. Ruby lay in bed with her arms wrapped round herself for comfort, sobbing wretchedly.

Mrs Gilpin let Frank in, her hair up in pins.

‘What’re yer doing back ’ere, son?’ she asked quietly, seeming to guess the answer already.

‘There ain’t no space over there. I’ve come ’ome for a good night’s sleep.’

She didn’t get any more out of him, and looking knowingly at him she went back to bed.

Frank lay in his room, smoking one Woodbine after another. Jesus, what a mess! Here he was, his first months away from home in the forces, first taste of life’s possibilities, even in one of the most dangerous jobs in the world, he reckoned. And here he was saddled with a wife and a babby on the way. What had possessed him to get married?

He knew what it was in his heart. Marriage was where you got what you needed without having to go looking, wasn’t it? And Ruby had offered it, with her ripe body and those ‘come hither’ eyes, and wouldn’t give it him unless they were married, but it wasn’t marriage he really wanted. Not all that daily grind and blarting brats. Especially now. Every mission he flew might be his last. His mind drifted inevitably to Monnie, one of the young WAAFs at the base, fresh from Lancashire. What had happened when he was teaching Monnie to drive that truck. Monnie was offering what he needed all right, plenty of it. And so far as he could see, he could have that without bothering with marriage at all.

By the summer of 1941, war had become a way of life. As well as the rationing coupons and queues for food outside the shops, now clothing was on the ration as well. At work, the chocolate still produced at the factory was scaled right down, and powdered milk used to replace the gallons of milk which used to pour into the factory every day.

Edie, Ruby and Janet were all working long hours, and Edie and Janet were still volunteers. Edie helped out with clothing distribution for the WVS once a week now, leaving Davey safely with Frances. There was not a lot of free time, but as the weeks went by the three of them found themselves more and more in each other’s company.

One sultry evening, Janet answered a knock at the door in Linden Road, to find Ruby on the step.

‘Oh, hello!’ Edie, in the back room, heard the surprise in Janet’s voice. ‘Come in.’ Ruby came through to where Edie was cuddling Davey, giving him a last drink of milk before bed.

‘’Ello Rube! What’re you doing here? Is your mom at home tonight then?’

Ruby nodded gloomily. ‘And George.’ Ruby sank down on a chair beside the table. She was five months pregnant, now, the little bump well visible through her pink frock, and she felt very tired by the end of each day. ‘We’re s’posed to be rehearsing for the play tonight. I’ve let them down, but but I’m just not in the mood. I hope you don’t mind me turning up.’

Edie was puzzled. Ruby loved the Drama Club, and usually she’d do anything to avoid missing a rehearsal.

‘You’re welcome any time, you know that,’ Janet said. ‘Can I get you a cup of tea?’

‘Oh, I’d love one,’ Ruby said.

Janet smiled at Edie as she went into the kitchen. She was pleased Ruby had come round. Numerous times they’d talked about Ruby being a bit jealous of their friendship, and Janet didn’t like to feel she’d come between two old friends, even if she did find Ruby prickly towards her.

‘Where’s her mom?’ Ruby whispered to Edie.

‘Frances? Oh, upstairs, having a bath I think. What’s up, Rube? You all right?’

To her astonishment, Ruby burst into tears. Janet heard her and came back in and Edie laid the sleepy David down in the armchair. They drew up seats either side of Ruby and tried to comfort her.

‘This isn’t like you, Rube!’ Edie put her arm round Ruby’s shaking shoulders. ‘Oh, it must all be so hard for you. Are you missing Frank?’

Frank had been back the week before for another few days’ leave. So far as Edie knew, both this visit and the one before had gone off well. Ruby hadn’t felt able to tell them the truth, but now she couldn’t hold back any longer. She shook her head, crying miserably.

‘Frank’s not happy about the babby,’ Ruby sobbed. ‘When I told him last time he came home, he went all funny with me and moved out to his mom’s. I thought it was just the shock of it – you know, getting used to it. And he came back the next day and was all right. Tried to make the best of it. But when he come back this time he was so cold and cross with me. And I think he’s got someone else. I mean he called me “Mon” by mistake and I shouted at him, “Who’s this Mon?” and he just laughed it off and said I was getting upset over nothing and ’e’d said “Mom”. But ’e ’adn’t.’ She stopped to blow her nose, saying wretchedly through her hanky, ‘I mean, why would he say that?’

‘Oh Ruby!’ Edie wanted to tell Ruby she was imagining things, that Frank would never do such a thing, that her imagination was running riot because she was alone and expecting a baby. But she had a horrible misgiving that Frank was perfectly capable of behaving like that, and all the more so now, with the strain all those blokes were going through in Bomber Command, far away from home.

‘I don’t know what I’m going to do,’ Ruby cried. ‘I mean even if Frank was happy about it, he’s still not here. How am I going to manage when the babby arrives? Our mom’s no good and there’s no one else. Me auntie’s too far away to help and she wouldn’t want to anyhow. I’ll have to give up my job – I’ll lose my wages, and the factory’s the only place I get out to and see anyone. I think I’ll go mad at home on my own!’

‘You don’t have to give up work, do you?’ Janet said. She took Ruby’s hand and squeezed it. ‘If you could find someone to look after your baby?’

Ruby shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I can’t think straight. Last week was so hard with Frank and I can’t get anything sorted out in my mind. I just feel all mithered.’

‘Look.’ Janet stood up. ‘You just try and calm down. The kettle’ll have boiled. I’ll make us a nice cup of tea and we’ll all try and put our heads together. You shouldn’t be having to worry about all this on your own.’

By the time the tea was brewed, Frances had emerged from upstairs in her dressing-gown, combing out her wet hair. She looked a little taken aback to find a visitor in the house, but seeing Ruby’s tearstained face she immediately looked concerned. Edie was, once again, filled with gratitide for her kind nature. They drank Frances’s favourite Mazawattee tea, nibbled a biscuit and talked about Ruby’s dilemma.

Ruby explained about her mom’s job with ENSA, and the irregular hours she kept. ‘To be honest with yer, Mrs Hatton, she isn’t that reliable when she’s around, bless her. She’s worse than the lads in some ways.’

Frances smiled faintly at Ruby’s assessment of her mother.

‘Well,’ she began slowly, ‘what I can suggest is this. Once your baby’s born and old enough to be left with someone – when it’ll take a bottle and so on – if you’re agreeable, you could bring it to me. I’m already looking after Davey here. I know how to look after small children. That’s at least something I can do while we’re in this terrible state of war. I’m doing precious little else.’

Janet beamed at Frances, then jumped up and kissed her. ‘That’s a marvellous idea! Do you really think you could cope?’

‘I think so,’ Frances said with dignity. ‘I’m not quite in my dotage yet, dear. And there are you two, and Marie about – well, occasionally!’ She rolled her eyes. Marie Falla was courting and barely ever seemed to appear for more than bed and breakfast these days.

‘Oh, Mrs Hatton!’ Edie said excitedly. ‘Isn’t that a wonderful offer, Ruby?’

Ruby looked amazed, as if what Frances had said wasn’t sinking in.

‘D’you mean it? Would you really? Oh, that would just solve all my problems! Well, some of them, anyhow.’ She wiped her eyes. ‘It’s a lot for you, though,’ she added doubtfully. ‘What with all the hours we’re doing.’

‘Well, I’m already getting back into the swing of it with David,’ Frances said, pulling back her magnificent hair and knotting it loosely at the back of her neck. ‘I’m sure I’ll be able to manage – it’ll help keep me young. And a couple of my friends from Meeting are looking after grandchildren. We can join forces and help each other.’

Ruby was full of thanks and renewed hopefulness as she drank her tea, and already she and Janet were more at ease with each other.

‘When Frank sees the babby, he’ll feel differently, I expect,’ she said, suddenly full of optimism.

Well, Edie thought, we’ll see, won’t we? I hope so for your sake, girl. But she glowed with happiness herself as she looked round the room at her friends, and at her boy with his long lashes and curling hair fast asleep on the seat of the armchair.

Martin called round at the house at last. Edie saw Janet’s startled look when her mother came in and announced who was at the door. She quickly recovered herself.

‘Well, ask him in then, Mother!’ She stood up, smoothing her clothes, taking a quick glance in the mirror over the fireplace. Edie watched, pleased for her. Perhaps Martin had called to ask her out. Maybe at last they’d talk to each other properly.