Chloe's Donor (7 page)

The opportunity arose the next day, as Chloe sat on her back porch and watched Dev, dressed only in a pair of gym shorts, weeding her garden, looking for all the world as if he belonged in her back yard. A large pot of tomatoes he had picked for her sat at her feet.

When he plopped down in the chair beside her, sweat rolling down his bare chest, she had to look away so that she wouldn’t weaken. “I need to go out for a while.”

He took a long chug of ice water from a jug and watched her over the rim. “I can drive you if you want.”

“No. I’ll be going with my neighbor across the street.”

“That would be the lady that looks like a fire hydrant?”

“Yes. Liz. She’s a psychologist.”
Don’t be a chicken, Chloe.
“She’s my Lamaze partner.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. I’d like to be there when the baby is born.”

Chloe blew out her breath. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“I don’t get sick at the sight of blood or anything. If this Liz person wants to be there too, that’s okay. But this may be the only kid I ever have.” He sat down the jug of water and met her eyes. She hated the vulnerable look that he quickly hid behind his steely green gaze. “I want to be there.”

“It’s not that I want to deprive you. I just need to prepare myself for when you leave.”

Dev sat silently for a few minutes, then went into her kitchen. He returned a few minutes later with a cold beer and stood at the railing surveying the garden. “Tell you what. Just let me watch from a distance. You won’t even know that I’m there.”
Right.
As if he could be within fifty feet of her and she not feel his presence.

When she didn’t answer him, he drank from his beer bottle and propped his bad leg on the lower rail. His shoulders looked as if he was carrying the weight of the world. His voice was quiet. “I want to be there. And then why don’t we just wait and see how things go after the baby’s born?”

She couldn’t stand this uncertainty. “We’re getting a divorce, right?”

He turned around and looked at her. “That’s what I said.”

“It would help if I knew when you’re going to leave.”

His eyes narrowed. “It can be tomorrow if you’re in such a damn hurry.”

“I’m not trying to rush you.”

“Then what is this, Chloe?” This was the first time she’d seen him get angry over anything, but it was very controlled, very cold.

“This is me trying to protect myself.”

“I threaten you?” He asked with disbelief.

“I’m afraid that I’m falling in love with you, you big jerk.”

“Oh.” His subsequent moment of silence was eloquent. He sat down next to her in the chair, probably trying to figure out how to let her down easy. “I’m not good at long-term, Chloe. It’s not a smart move to love me.”

What a newsflash that was. When he didn’t say anymore, she stood up and walked to the back door. Trying not to cry, she turned back toward him. “I’ll see you when I get back.” They both knew it was a question instead of a statement.

“Yeah. I’ll be here.”

* * * *

The house was entirely too quiet with Chloe gone. It was a grim reminder of what Dev’s life was going to be like when she was gone for good. In retrospect, getting through his divorce at twenty-two and being dumped by his fiancé at thirty-two seemed like teenage crushes. Learning to live without Chloe was going to be worse than his baddest, sickest nightmares, only he’d get to feel the panicked ache in his chest all day long in the light of day. Every day, until god knew when.

Of course, if he stayed, he knew that it would end one of two ways. She would either throw him out because she didn’t want to live with a man who was always gone, or that same basic message would be delivered in the form of an affair during his absence. Chloe might think she loved him, but it would never last. Besides, if she loved him, why the hell was she so eager to push him out the door?

Dev figured he’d rather find out sooner rather than later, so he picked up the phone and made a few arrangements. And then he planned what might be his last night of loving the mother of his child. He ordered her favorite food –pizza -- then made a salad and lit the candles on her table.

He’d just stepped out of the shower and into his jeans when he heard the front door open. He padded into the living room on bare feet and nearly ran into Chloe’s brother, who was carrying a canvas bundled up in plastic wrap. “I finally finished your wedding present.”

“You have a key?” Not that anyone would need one if he really wanted to get inside. The house was a sieve. It didn’t even have an alarm system, a fact that would be remedied later this week. Still, it pissed him off that she had never offered him a key.

Jay nodded. “We look after each other’s homes.” He set down his package and noticed the table set table with candles. “Special occasion?”

“Nah. Just waiting for your sister to get home so we can eat.” Dev slipped his t-shirt over his head. “You want a beer?”

“What a novel idea. I believe I will.” He followed Dev into the kitchen. “This is her Lamaze night, isn’t it?”

“So I hear.” Dev opened the fridge door. “Beer?”

“You’re joking, right?” When Dev handed the beer to him, Jay shook his head and pulled out a frosted mug from Chloe’s freezer. “So why aren’t you there with her?”

He shrugged. “Chloe started these classes with her neighbor. I don’t think she wants to switch her coach mid-stream.”

Jay stared at him. “She didn’t ask you, did she?”

Bingo.
“There’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to be in town when she goes into labor,” he explained, trying to sound like a rational man who wasn’t getting his heart ripped out of his chest.

Jay sat down at the kitchen table and poured his beer into the mug with a perfect cap of foam. “You’re leaving? Back to North Carolina?”

Dev propped a hip up on her kitchen counter and nodded. “I’ll drive out tomorrow so that I can check in from leave before the end of the day. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment and a P.T. session on Thursday morning.” All of which he’d arranged an hour ago.

“And then what?”

Then he got back to his life. “I’ll probably get put on desk duty for a while. My knee isn’t a hundred percent, but it’ll get stronger.”

“You staying with the Delta unit?”

It would be easier to leave Chloe if he was busy and out of the country. “I doubt I’ll leave my current unit.”

“So are you leaving her for good?”

“That’s up to her.” He took a swig of beer out of the bottle and eyed Jay Simon with exasperation. “Do you meddle in all of her relationships, or am I just lucky?”

“First of all, there haven’t been that many relationships. Second of all, who do you think is going to pick up the pieces after you go?
C’est moi.
”

“I don’t think she’ll be all that unhappy to see my tail lights.”

“And I thought you special ops guys never quit.”

“If the mission’s gone belly-up, you get the hell out of Dodge.”

“God save me from macho men.” He shook his head and sat his mug on a napkin. “You’re too scared to stay.”

“I don’t stay where I’m not wanted.” It was too fucking painful to know that someone who supposedly loved you really preferred to be with, oh, for example, anybody but you.

“Idiot. She’s pushing you out because she’s afraid you won’t stay.” He patted his mouth with a napkin. “And I thought gay relationships were complex.”

The doorbell rang and Dev gladly hopped off the counter to pay the pizza delivery guy. He carried the two boxes back into the kitchen. “I have extra cheese and a supreme. But you only get to share if you quit riding my ass.”

“Now there’s a picture.” He crossed his legs and grinned.

Dev snorted. “In your dreams, pal.”

“Don’t worry, Gallagher. You’re not my type.” He stood to get plates from Chloe’s cabinets and set aside the paper plates Dev had pulled out. “Now your friend who brought the phone is a different matter all together.”

“I so do not want to hear this.” Dev loaded up with supreme, then walked into the dining room table he’d set for his farewell romantic dinner. He flipped on her CD player and swapped the classical disk for something more in tune with his mood. Garth Brooks singing about lost love should do the trick.

* * * *

Chloe had gone out with Liz for ice cream after the Lamaze class. When they pulled up to the curb, she was surprised to see Jay’s sedan parked outside her house. However, she was flabbergasted when she walked into the front door and found he and Dev sprawled over her living room furniture watching a Braves game.

The dining room table was littered with two pizza boxes and three beer bottles. “Looks like you two had a good time.”

Jay stood and walked to a package leaning against the dining room wall. “It’s about time you got home. Baseball has to be the slowest game on the face of the earth. At least in football, the uniforms are hot.”

Dev muted the television. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. “I like your brother, sugar, but he makes a man real glad to be back near his woman.” They both watched Jay unwrap the canvas and turn it around to face them. She felt Dev freeze behind her.

It was a watercolor painting of the two of them. Jay had drawn Dev standing behind Chloe with his arms around her and both of their hands sitting on her pregnant belly, kind of like they were right now, except they were dressed in the clothes that they’d worn to the courthouse. Dev had worn a gray suit and tie with a white shirt the day they were married. He looked perfectly comfortable draped around Chloe’s back. Jay had captured a variety of emotions on his face. His eyes conveyed pride, protectiveness, and possession, all tempered by the merest hint of a satisfied grin.

Chloe had dressed in a deep rose sundress that hugged her pregnant belly. She had piled her hair on top of her head and let small curls dangle around her face. On the painting, Jay had portrayed her hair intertwined with her long earrings. As for her face, Chloe had never seen herself look so deliriously content and happy.

It made her throat ache. “It’s beautiful, Jay.”

Dev moved next to her and stared at the painting before looking at Jay. “Pretty damn amazing.” His voice was gruff.

Chloe went to Jay and hugged him, fighting tears. “Hey now,” he said, “This isn’t the reaction I was aiming for.”

She laughed, choking back her tears. “It’s wonderful.”

He leaned down and whispered in her ear. “I think you should hang on to this one, Chloe.”

“I’m not sure that’s possible,” she murmured.

Jay shook his head. “It’s a wonder human beings haven’t gone extinct with the way you heterosexuals screw things up.”

Dev walked Jay to the door and shook his hand. “The painting is amazing. You’re not just a pretty face after all.”

“Yes, well we all have our talents. Among others, yours seems to be that you make my sister happy. Don’t screw it up.”

When Dev closed the door, he looked at her, then walked close and hugged her. He leaned back and studied her face. “Have you eaten?”

“Just two scoops of ice cream. I’m ready for the next feeding.”

He smiled and ushered her to the couch, lifting her legs onto the cushions. “Stay put.”

Before she knew it, she was holding an empty plate that had been delivered to her with hot, gooey, cheese pizza. Her stomach was full, the baby had stopped kicking up a storm, and her feet were in Dev’s lap, getting a thorough foot massage. “God, that feels good.”

Dev had his head back on the couch with his eyes closed. He looked grim. “Chloe. We need to talk.”

And she knew. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

He rolled his head on the couch back so he was looking at her. “In the morning. I’ve got a few things I need to take care of back at the base. I don’t know when I’ll be able to return to Atlanta.”

She closed her eyes so that he wouldn’t see her pain. “Okay.”

When she opened them again, he was staring at the painting intently. “You know I would never hurt you, right?” She nodded when his burning green eyes met hers. “Can you surrender yourself to me tonight, Chloe?”

Chapter Six

She wasn’t’ sure what he was asking for, but it didn’t seem to matter. Chloe wasn’t falling in love with him. She loved him. And he was leaving, probably because she had hurt his feelings when she wouldn’t take him to Lamaze class or invite him to the birth of their baby.

Tonight, she knew that he was going to demonstrate just how much she was going to miss him, but she was greedy for every touch, every kiss that branded her as his, so she told him the simple truth. “I’m yours.”

His face flashed with satisfaction. He continued to massage her feet, then slowly pulled her forward, more onto his thighs. Lifting the leg closest to him, he kissed her foot and then positioned it on the back of the couch. Her ankle length skirt drifted up high over her thighs and she knew he could see her pale pink underwear that were already soaked with desire. Dev folded her other leg at the knee and nudged her inner thigh. “Open up, sweetheart. Let me see you.”

His finger traced the silk covered crevice of her lips. When her pelvis jerked up, his other hand held her hip still, preventing her from making further contact than the whisper soft caress of his fingertip up and down her slit. “Dev,” she moaned, wanting so much more.

Eyes flashing with possession, he kissed her inner thigh. “We’ve got all night, sugar.” He reached for the lace at the top of her underwear, but instead of slipping them down her hips as she expected, he pulled them up snugly against her, working the leg openings closer and closer to her center. She was left with a makeshift g-string, coursing snugly between her buttocks, pressing tightly along ever sensitized, swollen nerves in her vulva.

His nail ran over the tight silk, front to back, tantalizing her clit and each opening. When she lifted her hips frantically, he pushed her pelvis down. “No, sugar. I’m in charge tonight. I need you to hold real still for me.”