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Authors: Kevin Kwan

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When at last Charlie saw the double-story Airbus A380 gliding through the sky with its telltale navy-and-gold markings, he found himself inexplicably picking up the phone and calling his private hangar. “Johnny, ah? Could you please have the plane ready within an hour? I need to go to Los Angeles.”
I'll surprise Astrid at the arrival lounge with red roses, just like I did back in our university days in London. This time there will be five
hundred red roses awaiting her when she gets off the plane. I'll take her to Gjelina for lunch, and then maybe we can rent a car and drive to some amazing spa up the coast for a few days. It will be just like the old days, when we used to take the Volante over to France and drive all over the Loire Valley exploring ancient castles together, going to wine tastings. Oh what the hell am I thinking? I'm married to Isabel and Astrid is married to Michael. I am the biggest idiot in the whole world. For one moment, one brief moment, I had a chance to win her back, when her insecure husband was feeling too poor to afford her, but instead I made him a fortune. Christ, what was I thinking when I did that? And now they are back together, so damn happy and perfectly in love. And here I am, with a wife who hates me, miserable as fuck
.

*1
Four male Cantopop stars in the 1990s—Jacky Cheung, Aaron Kwok, Leon Lai, and Andy Lau—who dominated the Asian music charts, packed stadiums, and made it acceptable for macho Asian men to frost their hair and wear sequined blazers.

*2
A Cantonese term that means “supreme wife” (implying a situation where a man has several wives) but no longer strictly interpreted, since polygamy has been banned in Hong Kong since 1971. Nowadays
tai tai
refers to a privileged lady of means, usually of high standing within Hong Kong society. A prerequisite of being a
tai tai
is being married to a wealthy man, thus allowing the
tai tai
a tremendous amount of leisure time to lunch, shop, visit the beauty parlor, decorate, gossip, establish a pet charity, enjoy afternoon tea, take tennis lessons, schedule tutors for her children, and terrorize her maids, not necessarily in that order.

9
THE LOCKE CLUB

HONG KONG, MARCH 9, 2013

Kitty Pong was brimming over with anticipation as she stood in the crowded elevator. For years she had heard about this place, and at long last she was about to have lunch here. Located on the fifth floor of a nondescript office building on Wyndham Street, the Locke Club was Hong Kong's most exclusive dining club—the holy of holies—and its members consisted of the crème de la crème of Hong Kong society and the international jet set. Unlike other private dining clubs,
*1
where fame or a fat checkbook would gain you instant membership, the Locke played by its own rules. The place didn't even have a membership waiting list—you had to be invited to join by its strict and secretive board, and even feigning a passing interest in belonging could mean that you would never, ever be asked.

Back in the days when she had a minor role on the soap opera
Many Splendid Things
, Kitty often overheard Sammi Hui—the show's biggest star—brag about her lunches at the Locke, and how she was seated in the
same room as the Queen of Bhutan or Leo Ming's latest mistress. Kitty couldn't wait to see which sumptuous room she would be seated in today, and which important personages would be dining at the tables around her. Would they all be savoring the specialty of the house—turtle soup served in camphor-wood cups?

It was such a stroke of luck that she had been seated at Evangeline de Ayala's table at the Pinnacle Ball. Evangeline was the glamorous young wife of Pedro Paulo de Ayala, a scion of one of the oldest real estate families in the Philippines, and though the couple were fairly recent transplants to Hong Kong (via London, where Pedro Paulo had worked at Rothschild's), their aristocratic connections—not to mention aristocratic-sounding surname—had made them popular new members at the club. Evangeline appeared to be wowed by Kitty's big donation to Sir Francis Poon's foundation, and when she suggested meeting for lunch at the Locke, Kitty wondered if she was finally going to be invited to join. After all, she had in two short months transformed herself into Hong Kong's leading art collector and philanthropist.

The elevator door finally opened, and Kitty pranced into the front foyer of the club, with its glossy ebony-paneled walls and dramatic black-marble-and-steel staircase leading up to the fabled dining room. One of the hosts at the reception desk smiled at her.

“Good afternoon. May I help you?”

“Yes, I am meeting Miss de Ayala for lunch.”


Missus
de Ayala?” the host officiously corrected.

“Yes, I meant missus,” Kitty replied nervously.

“I'm afraid she isn't here yet. Please have a seat in our parlor, and we'll show you to the dining room as soon as she arrives.”

Kitty walked into a room with silk-covered walls and took a seat in the middle of the red Le Corbusier sofa so that she could show herself off to best advantage. A few of the ladies coming off the elevator stared at her intently as they passed by, and she felt certain it was because of the outfit she had taken such care in choosing. She had opted for a sleeveless Giambattista Valli black-and-red floral-print dress, a red Céline knotted lambskin clutch, and Charlotte Olympia red flats with a gold buckle. Her only jewelry was a pair of cabochon ruby earrings from Solange Azagury-Partridge. Even with a peekaboo slit on the side of her dress, the look bordered on demure, and she dared any uppity
tai tai
to criticize her today.

Unbeknownst to Kitty, one of the ladies in the elevator had been Rosie Ho, who was on her way to join Ada Poon and a few of their former
Maryknoll classmates for lunch. Rosie made a mad dash to the dining room and breathlessly announced, “Girls, you're never going to believe who is sitting in the parlor right now. Three guesses. Quick, quick!”

“Give us some sort of clue,” Lainey Lui said.

“She's wearing a floral-print dress, and she definitely had breast reduction surgery.”

“Oh my God, is it that lesbian girlfriend of Bebe Chow's?” Tessa Chen cackled.

“No, even better—”

“Hiyah, tell us!” the ladies implored.

“It's
Kitty Pong
!” Rosie triumphantly announced.

Ada's face went white with contempt.

Lainey seethed, “
Mut laan yeah?
*2
How dare she show up here after the stunt she pulled the other night!”

“Who was stupid enough to bring her?” Tessa asked.

Ada rose slowly from the table and smiled tightly at her lunch companions. “Will you excuse me for just one minute? Please keep eating—don't let the delicious turtle soup get cold.”

Evangeline de Ayala entered the parlor in a pretty black-and-white Lanvin shift dress and gave Kitty a double-cheek kiss. “So sorry to be late—I have no good excuse, except that I am always on Manila time.”

“Don't worry—I was just admiring the art,” Kitty graciously responded.

“Quite cool, isn't it? Do you collect?”

“I'm just beginning to, so I am trying to educate myself,” Kitty said modestly, wondering whether Evangeline was just pretending not to know that she had recently bought the most expensive painting in all of Asia.

The ladies approached the reception desk together, and the same host greeted them warmly. “Good afternoon, Mrs. de Ayala. Joining us for lunch today?”

“Yes, just the two of us,” Evangeline replied.

“Wonderful. Please come with me,” the host said, escorting the ladies up the curved marble staircase. When they entered the dining room, Kitty noticed quite a few people gawking at them. The manager of the club came rushing toward them with a look of importance.

Goody, he's coming to welcome me personally to the club
, Kitty thought.

“Mrs. de Ayala, I do apologize, but there seems to have been a huge
mix-up with our computerized reservation system. I'm afraid we are completely overbooked today and will not be able to accommodate you for lunch.”

The host looked taken aback by his manager's declaration, but said nothing.

Evangeline looked puzzled. “But I made the booking two days ago, and no one called to inform me.”

“Yes, I am aware of that. We're truly sorry—but if you'll allow me, I have made a booking for you right around the corner at Yung Kee on Wellington Street. They have a lovely table awaiting you, and I hope you will allow us to treat you to lunch, to make up for the inconvenience.”

“Surely you can seat us for a quick lunch here? We're just two, and I see a few empty tables along the window,” Evangeline said hopefully.

“Unfortunately those tables have already been spoken for. Once again, please accept my apologies, and I do hope you enjoy Yung Kee—be sure to order their fabulous roast goose,” the manager said as he authoritatively steered Kitty and Evangeline toward the staircase.

As they left the club, Evangeline was still perplexed. “How bizarre! I'm so sorry—nothing like that has ever happened before. But the Locke does have rather strange rules. Now, let me just text my driver about our change of plans.” As Evangeline got out her phone, she saw that her husband was trying to call.

“Hey
swithart,
*3
how are you? The strangest thing just happened,” Evangeline cooed into the phone. Then she jumped at the torrent of cursing that came from the other end.

“Nothing! We did nothing!” she said in a defensive tone.

Kitty could hear Evangeline's husband continue to rant.

“I can't explain…I don't know what happened,” Evangeline kept sputtering into the phone, her face getting paler and paler. Finally she put her phone down and gave Kitty a rather dazed look.

“I'm sorry, but I'm suddenly not feeling too well. Do you mind if we take a rain check on lunch?”

“Of course. Is everything okay?” Kitty asked, rather concerned for her new friend.

“That was my husband. Our membership at the Locke Club has just been revoked.”

After Evangeline's driver had picked her up, Kitty stood at the curb,
trying to process what had just happened. She had woken up this morning feeling so happy and excited, and now she was rather crestfallen that her lunch plans had gone so awry. Poor Evangeline. What an awful thing to happen to her. Just as she was about to call for her driver, Kitty noticed a gray-haired woman in a dowdy-looking pantsuit smiling at her.

“Are you okay?” the woman asked.

“Yes,” Kitty responded, a little confused. Did she know her from somewhere?

“I was just at lunch at the Locke, and I couldn't help but notice what happened in the dining room,” the woman said by way of introduction.

“Yes, it's quite strange, isn't it? I feel so bad for my friend.”

“How so?”

“She didn't realize that she had lost her membership at the club, and she was trying to take me to lunch there. I think she must feel very embarrassed right now.”


Evangeline de Ayala
was kicked out of the club?” the woman said incredulously.

“Oh—you know her? Yes, right after we left the club, her husband called with the news. He must have done something terribly wrong for them to be kicked out without any notice like that.”

The woman paused for a few moments, as if she was trying to ascertain whether Kitty was being serious. “My poor dear, you are completely out to sea. You really have no clue what actually happened, do you? In the history of the club, they've only ever revoked a membership three times. Today was the fourth. The de Ayalas obviously were kicked out because Evangeline tried to bring
you
to the club.”

Kitty looked incredulous. “
Me?
What a silly idea! That was my first time setting foot in the club—what did I have to do with it?”

The woman shook her head pitifully. “The fact that you don't even realize this makes me extremely sad. But I think I can help you.”

“What do you mean help me? Who are you?”

“I'm Corinna Ko-Tung.”

“As in Ko-Tung Park?”

“Yes, and Ko-Tung Road and the Ko-Tung wing at Queen Mary Hospital. Now, come with me. I know you must be starving. I'll explain everything over
yum cha
.”
*4

Corinna led Kitty down On Lan Street and into an alley behind New World Tower. Taking the service elevator up three floors, they were deposited at the back entrance of Tsui Hang Village restaurant, where VIPs could pass through unnoticed.

The manager recognized Corinna at once and rushed up to her, bowing deeply. “Ms. Ko-Tung, such an honor to have you dining with us today.”

“Thank you, Mr. Tong. Can we have a private room, please?”

“Certainly. Please come with me. How is your mother these days? Please send my best wishes to her,” the manager said effusively as he escorted them down a hallway.

The ladies were shown to a private dining room done up in subtle shades of beige, with a large round table and a flat-screen television along the back wall set on CNBC with the volume on mute.

“I will let the chef know that you are here—I'm sure he will want to send out all his special dishes.”

“Please thank him for me in advance. Now, could you please turn off the television?” Corinna instructed.

“Oh I'm so sorry, of course,” the manager said, lunging for the remote control as if it were the most offensive thing in the world.

After hot towels were ceremoniously distributed, two cups of tea had been poured, and the waitstaff had finally left the room, Kitty said, “You must be a regular here.”

“I haven't been here in a while. But I thought it would be a convenient place for us to speak freely.”

“Do they always treat you this well?”

“Generally. It also helps that my family owns the land this tower is built on.”

Kitty was quietly impressed. Even after becoming Mrs. Bernard Tai, she had never been treated with such reverence anywhere. “Now, do you really think the de Ayalas got thrown out of the club because of me?”

“I don't think—I
know
,” Corinna answered. “Ada Poon is on the membership committee.”

“But what does she have against me? I just made a huge donation to her husband's foundation.”

Corinna sighed. This was going to be harder than she thought. “I wasn't at the Pinnacle Ball, since I don't attend such affairs, but the very next morning my phone was ringing off the hook.
Everyone
was talking about what you did.”

“What did I do?”

“You gravely insulted the Poons.”

“But I was just trying to be generous—”

“You may see it that way, but everyone there saw it differently. Sir Francis Poon is eighty-six years old, and he is revered by all. That award was his big moment, the culmination of decades of humanitarian work, but when you barged onstage and announced your big donation right in the middle of his speech, it was seen as a huge affront to him. You offended his family, his friends, and perhaps most important, his wife. It was supposed to be Ada's night too, and you stole the limelight from her.”

“It was never my intention to do that,” Kitty shot back.

“Be honest with yourself, Kitty.
Of course it was
. You wanted all the attention on yourself, just like you did when you bought
The Palace of Eighteen Perfections
. But while the crowd at Christie's might appreciate a good floor show, Hong Kong society does not. Your actions over the past few months are seen as nothing but blatant attempts to buy your way into the right crowd. Now, many people have done just that, but there's a right way to do it, and there's a wrong way.”

Kitty was indignant. “Ms. Ko-Tung, I know exactly what I'm doing. Just do a Baidu search under my name. Look at all the magazines and newspapers. The bloggers and gossip columnists can't stop writing about me. My pictures are in all the magazines every month. I've totally changed my style over the past year, and in last week's
Orange Daily
, they ran three pages on my red-carpet looks.”

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