Children of the Source (31 page)

    “I’ll ask him.” He went back inside and returned in a few seconds.  “He says he’ll do it.”  He stopped and faced us.  “I want to thank you three.  I’d hate to think what could have happened if you’d decided on a different course of action.   A second chance.”

    “You’re welcome, Harry.  You’re a big plus to the Fort.  Remember, you have Jamie as a resource, too,”   the General said.   “Can’t say I understand what is going on here, but we’ll work through it.”  We shook hands with Harry and left. 

    “I’ll walk you to the chopper, Jamie.  So, you’re saying handicapped children and relatives are often members of these Entity families?” 

    “True.  Brother Freddy was part of your mother’s Entity family.  Freddy’s Entity wanted to experience the need to be cared for by being retarded.”

    “He was much loved,”  the General said, voice wistful at the memories..  “A beautiful ... man.  One night he died in his sleep.   Mom said he had a smile on his face in the morning.”   Carson swallowed.  “I was at West Point at the time.”   We stopped at the chopper.  “He was twenty-six.”  

     “Handicaps are only physical, General,” I said.  “They drop away at physical death, and the personality is made whole.  There is always survival.  Freddy is quite alive and normal as you think of a person.   You’ve had fleeting dreams of your brother over the years, but have always thought he was really dead.  So, you censored your dreams with your waking beliefs and lost the attempted communications.   But tonight he will come again to you in your dreams to pay a visit.  As have  Luke and Linda come to you recently.”  We shook hands, and Jack Howard flew me back to Cheshire.

    Halfway there I jerked in my seat.   “You alright, Jamie?   You look like you’ve been struck.”   I heard Jack’s concerned voice in my headphones.

    “Yeah.  Okay.  Just a thought came into my head.   Something I have to do after we land.   Thank you, Jack.”

    “Hope it’s a good thing.”  He could sense my uncertainty.  

    “Sorta kinda, if you get my meaning.   Nothing violent or really negative.  Just something I haven’t done before.”  He glanced over and caught my grimace.  “I’ve been invited to meet someone.”

    “That doesn’t sound bad.  Do you know this person?”   We were over Sechrist School and Fort Valley Road.

    “We’re related ... ”

    Jack laughed.   “I know some folk in my extended family I wouldn’t want to claim as my own.”

    “Yeah, I know what you mean,” I said.  “This guy could be a help to me in the future.”

    “I wish you luck with your meeting.”   Jack set the chopper down.    I thanked him and he
took off for the fort.

Four days later Judith, Laith, Greg, my brother Jesse and his family walked through the main gate at Cheshire.
  Never so glad in my life.   Alice and Issac pounced on Greg as Helen, Abe, Meg, and Victoria and I hugged Judith and Laith.  I walked over to Jesse.  “If you weren’t a living infestation, Jesse, I’d hug you too.  Welcome home.”

     He laughed and made the introductions.
  I knew them all well.  Watching over them with their guides, the months of traveling here.  Giving them information, ideas, and inspirations.  It didn’t always work, but some of it got through.  The important stuff.   

    Nanc, a spunky girl of seven, studied me.
  “You don’t look normal.”   She lowered her eyes, and covered her mouth then said, “Sorry.  I know you.  You’re that angel who told me to behave several times.”

    I laughed.
  “Yes.  Well, you had your moments.  From vomiting on Kang’s shoes to helping give that scum slaver his comeuppance.”   She went red.  “Peace,”  I said.  “You came through once you understood the ideas that made you behave the way you did.  You changed and will change more.”  I smiled and nodded. “Welcome, Nanc.  You’re home.”

     Nanc took me by the hand and lead me aside about ten feet, and said in a low voice, “Marcy and Felice said to ask you about my father.
  They weren’t sure and said you might know.”

    “Your father is alive, and in the years to come you will meet again.
  His temper will have cooled by then, and so will yours.  Better that way.  You love each other, but you both had a hard time controlling yourselves.  A lots of shouting, and it would end with hurt feelings for the each of you.”  I swallowed.  “Trust the future.”

    “You know the future?”

    “Parts of it.”  Only parts.  Time is not something I understand well.  It’s all tangled up with free will and choices.  Nanc’s eyes brightened. “What was the dream you had two nights ago?”  I asked.

     Her lower lips trembled, “Tell me,” she whispered, tears wetting her cheeks.

     “Your father was telling you he is safe in a farming community.  He was working on his temper.  The reds in the sunset turning blue was the meaning of that.”

     “He was with plants in a greenhouse.
  Almost looked happy,” she finished wistfully.         

     “Your mother has tried to tell him you live, but it hasn’t worked.
  He has blocked the information in his grief.  But I will have others get the information to him so he knows for sure you live, and will meet again.”

    “You are some type of miracle worker,” she said.

    “No.  None of that.  I just understand how to do it,” I said.  We walked back to the others.  “You have a new house to live in.  One made with alien technology.”  I pointed to a house built into the edge of the hill.

     “It looks like the hill except for the windows,”
  Marcy said.  A paved stone path edged by low walls wend it’s the way from the road to the front door.

    “Alan?”  I said.   The shy sparsely bearded man turned to my voice.  I caught his eyes and pointed to a blond lady walking to the bath houses oblivious to what was  going on.  “Ellen,” I called.  She looked up and saw Alan.  They stood transfixed for a long moment finally understanding and dashed into each other’s arms.   Vast relief and unbridled joy.  Tears flowed.  With shaking hands they touched each other barely believing such a thing was possible.  We left them there to care for each other and begin again.   

     We stopped at the bathhouses, leaving Jesse and family in competent hands, and promised to see them later.  Halfway home, I felt struck and turned toward the Peaks.  “The supernova...  . I can feel it coming.”   The advanced portions of the force nudging, vast but gentle.  Judith’s hand caught mine firmly.

     “I know.
  I can feel it too.”  Her voice even and strong sounded pleased.  “I’m glad it is finally here.”

     I pointed to Charles and Laith talking in the middle of the road.
  “Priming our son.”

     Judith said,
  “There was always something bigger than life about my father.  Like he was always more there than other people.  An Entity can do away with using a personality, and create a modified version of the whole.  That is my father.  No ego, only the desire to serve.  To create something better.”

    She slipped her hand in mine.  I could feel her pledging ring in my hand.  “I’ve been invited to meet a future self.   Have you ever had that happen?”   I asked.

    “No.  Perhaps I can come along.  Is it at the Lighthouse?”

    “Yeah.   My Entity is making the offer.   I’d like you there.   Maybe Marta and Kodus, too.”

    “Why Marta and Kodus?”

    “They’re almost like extensions of ourselves and have a great deal of experience not only from their past lives but from what they’ve been doing since then.   I’ll pass the request on.”   I shook my head.

    “Nervous?  Sounds like you have real reservations.”   She grinned mischievously.  I love that in her.

    “It raises a lot of questions.   A future self.   What kind of personality would my Entity engineer, create and why?   Considering what we’re doing here, what is he/she doing there?  How far in the future?”   I shook myself.  “Part of me doesn’t want to know.   But a host of questions are there I want answered.”

    “You’ve never trusted your Entity,”  Judith said. 

    “With good cause considering the other personalities Its created and what happened to them.   No.  Sure don’t.”

    She smiled as we stopped and sat on the bench by the pine tree.  “You’re afraid your Entity has created a monster or a personality that will be ruined and handicapped for a lifetime so It can  experience something you can’t fathom.”

    “Yeah.  I guess I’m too parochial and can’t see the larger picture.  But then I’m not
supposed to, am I?”

    “Trying to talk yourself out of the meeting even before it happens?”   She patted my leg.  “Come on.  Keep open.  I’m going with you.”

    “Thank you.”   I took a deep breath to clean out my prejudices, and visualized sending them out into the universe to explode, transforming into neutral energy.  I smiled.  “Judith, you’re the grandest thing that has ever happened to me.”

    She laughed.  “So your Entity ain’t all bad since It hooked us up together.”

    “Yeah.  I reckon.”

    She stood.  “Well, you busy soul, lets round up our family and go to dinner.”   We did. 

    Laith watched me carefully over his plate of food..  “So,” he said, “you’ve been invited to meet someone, Dad.”

    Judith chuckled.   “He’s concerned with what he might find.”

    “Who he might find, you mean,”  Helen said.

    “Yeah,”  I said.  “It does concern me.  Buuut, just gotta go along with it.”   I laughed.  “We’ll see ... ”

    “A future self,”  Victoria said, excitedly.  “Wow.  Maybe she’s a toothless old woman with six grown children of questionable paternity whose spent fifty years being a petty criminal in some backwater.  Gosh, Dad.  Think of the possibilities?”

    I laughed.  “Encouraging aren’t you.   A promiscuous petty criminal.   As you said, Wow.”

    “Abe, what do you think?”  Judith asked.  “Who do you think is your father’s future self?”

    Abe grinned that infectious grin of his and tapped his fingers on the table.  “Yeah, I know.   A vicious portly creature.  A man with no love of books or knowledge.   A creature given to eating and satisfying his gross appetites.”

    “Oh, God, what a picture.   Well, you never know considering my Entity is more interested in experiencing life to the fullest from all angles than concerned with my sensibilities,”  I said, drinking my tea.  I looked around. “Any one have any more ideas they want to share.  Laith?”

    He looked down and smiled mischievously, “A hybrid personality from Earth and Alien.  No Sound Language.”

    “Anything else?’

    “No.  That’s it.”   He shrugged.  “Of course, Victoria maybe right.”  He snickered. 

    “Gawd.”  I shook my head, and couldn’t help smiling, and rejoicing in my family.   Blessed be.  “Well, tonight I will find out and report to you at breakfast.  You’re mother is coming along for the ride.”

    Almost as soon as my head touched my pillow, I found myself at the Lighthouse.   Judith appeared and took my hand in hers.  She looked up at me.  “Exciting.”

    Kodus and Marta strolled out of the Lighthouse meeting us in the Ponderosa pine grove with its several benches and chairs.   Cotton white clouds sailed slowly in the azure sky.  A pod of whales blew in the sea below.  Waves broke in a rhythm on the beach with racing foam.  The sun warmed the air gently and a slight breeze caressed the skin.  My Entity suddenly appeared, his energy sustaining everything.   He smiled, eyes lighting with pleased interest.  He nodded.  “Thank you for coming, Jamie.  So much speculation on your families part.  Fun.  But you have no idea, and have genuine fears of what you might find.  What monster  might have I created and why?”   Mischievous tones.   He cocked his head.   “ I wanted to build on what we’d built with you.”

    “We’d?”  I asked.

    My Entity laughed.  “You, Jamie, were a project with some of my friends I recruited.   We had to get a dispensation from the Board of Regents considering the abilities and powers we were building into your personality.  A repeat of Akenton would not be tolerated.  We worked with Adora and the Earth to create a personality that could take care of our growing problem with eugenics.  I needed an extension of my Kodus personality with certain abilities built in which could handle what you are now handling.  And other things in your future.”

    “Clever clever creature you are,” I said.  “You built something so strongly in my Being, I couldn’t hurt a flea if tried.”

    “Deliberately done.  Thank you, my friend,”  He acknowledged with a bow.  

    “So who am I suppose to meet?”  I asked.

    “Laith was right.   My future creation is a cross between a human and an alien.  She is a physician specializing in releasing current physical and emotional problems found in so called past life origins.  Entities, like people, are all different.  Some are more disciplined than others and all have their own way to go.  Melissa is here and won’t have any memory of your meeting.   She actually lives in the house you now live in.   She was born a hundred years in your future, and is your great, great,  granddaughter.”

    “Which of our children?”  Judith asked.