Child of Blackwen (An Artemis Ravenwing Novel Book 1) (26 page)

He couldn’t blame her for her anger.

He stood in front of the Hall of the Elders and crossed his arms. A cool breeze picked up, and he ignored the loose dark blond strands that waved across his vision. Shadow felt it important to visit his aunt one last time. He knew Artemis was going to free Netira somehow soon, and she would have the dhampir lead her to that goddessforsaken city.

Whether she wanted it or not, he was going to leave Ellewynth behind and aid her.

Once inside the hall, Shadow was shocked when he saw his aunt sitting behind her desk. It appeared she hadn’t slept in days—her normally serene face was now creased with stress, and her plaited hair was half undone. Her ivory dress looked shabby, and Shadow realized Lady Clarayne hadn’t left her office for some time.

He didn’t envy her position.

“My dear nephew,” Lady Clarayne greeted him, her voice hoarse. “What brings you here at this hour?”

Shadow moved beside her. “When were you home last, Aunt Clarayne?”

“It matters not, Shadow,” she answered. “I thought after the last few meetings we’ve had, you wouldn’t be returning here at all. Not directly to my office, anyways.”

Shadow’s gaze lowered. “I’ve come to apologize.”

“For what?” Lady Clarayne chuckled. “For being true to your feelings? For standing up to Destrius? You needn’t apologize for such things.”

“Nonetheless, I feel that I must apologize for that and more.” Shadow backed away and returned to his spot in front of her desk. “I know it hasn’t been easy for you, especially with Lord Destrius’ hatred for me. I’ve…I’ve come to—”

“I know what you’re doing,” Lady Clarayne interrupted. “You won’t have to apologize for that either, Shadow. You’re doing what you feel is right. I do not fault you for it.”

“You realize it’ll mean I can never return home to Ellewynth again, once Arlina attacks and my disappearance is noticed,” Shadow whispered. “I would be branded as a traitor…a deserter.”

“Sometimes one has to do a little evil in order to accomplish a greater good.” Lady Clarayne stood from her chair and embraced him. “You will always be my blood, Shadow. Whatever you choose to do, I will support you. You should know this by now.”

Shadow felt the tears well up in his eyes and shook his head. “You will have to be the one to condemn me for desertion.”

“The unfortunate aspect of politics.” Lady Clarayne stepped back. “Things will return to normal once the issue of Arlina is taken care of. I won’t leave you to rot.”

“I very much doubt that.” Shadow rubbed his brow. “Normalcy, I meant…not the part of you leaving me to rot.”

“You’re certain Arlina will attack Ellewynth?”

“Yes. Netira confirmed it.”

Lady Clarayne sighed heavily. “Goddesses help us all.”

“Lord Celstian will listen to you. Have him lead Ellewynth’s people to the veils as soon as possible,” Shadow pleaded. “I will be gone before then.”

“Does Artemis know you’re planning to follow her?”

“I’m not sure,” Shadow admitted, “but it matters not.”

Lady Clarayne stroked her nephew’s cheek. “I hope she realizes how much of a prize you are.”

“Aunt Clarayne…”

“Never be ashamed for what you feel in your heart. Not everyone is lucky enough to know what love is, no matter how brief it may be.”

Shadow looked away. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if I let her leave without the help she needs.”

“I know, dear one.” Lady Clarayne gestured to the door. “Go to her.”

“I’ll miss you, Aunt Clarayne,” Shadow said before he left.
I hope you can forgive me one day
.

Karesu ignored the brood that surrounded him as they continued into the depths of the Woodland Realm. He did, however, keep a close watch on the Mistress. Arlina looked sickly as she marched beside him, and she was quick to snap at anyone who offered to help her. The vampire mage even noticed the deep scratches along her forearms.

He wondered what could possibly drive her to such a state. Wouldn’t Arlina be excited for the upcoming slaughter of her enemies and blood relative? Why the scratches?

Karesu shook the thought from his mind and focused on the world around him. The veils were well-guarded; they wouldn’t reveal themselves to him, and he couldn’t pinpoint the source of their energy fast enough to locate them. An ancient defense, the veils were. It was no wonder the elves managed to flourish despite their numerous wars.

“Stop!”

The order came abruptly from Arlina, and the company came to a halt. Arlina fell to one knee, grasping her chest. Karesu knelt beside her and tried to keep her steady.

“Mistress, are you all right?” Karesu asked.

“No…” Arlina’s normally cold gray eyes were filled with fear as well as pain. “Rest…we must rest.”

“Mistress, we’ve stopped so many times already. We’ll never reach Ellewynth at this pace,” a voice behind them whined.

Karesu groaned, for it belonged to Latos. The smug bastard was a thorn in Karesu’s side, and he longed to rip the man’s head off. Well, he thought to burn him first, and then he’d dismember the leech. “Should the rest of us continue while you stay behind for a spell?”

Arlina used Karesu for balance as she snapped up and smacked Latos across the face with the back of her hand. The scent of his blood permeated the air, and the others began to hiss with delight. Karesu, too, couldn’t help but enjoy the moment.

“How dare you act as if you’re my Second?” Arlina seethed. “We
will
get to Ellewynth soon enough. For now, make camp! Anyone who desires to do otherwise, speak now. I beg you to.”

No one answered her as they all moved to make camp. Arlina shoved past Latos, and Karesu followed after her. Arlina slipped behind a large tree far from the sight of others and fell to her knees, once again grasping her chest.

“Mistress?” Karesu knelt beside her.

“Karesu, there’s something in this goddessforsaken forest that’s doing this to me.” Arlina shook. Karesu noticed how she was scratching her arms, how she didn’t even flinch when she raked over the scabs and drew blood, and he understood then that the Mistress was losing her sense of reality. “She’s doing this to me…that wretched specter…”

She?
“Mistress, what are you speaking of?” Karesu asked, genuinely puzzled. There wasn’t any magic he knew of in the forest that could cause the symptoms he now saw Arlina exhibiting. Paranoia was usually a self-inflicted disease. “Who is this ‘she’ you’re referring to?”

“No one,” she growled. “Mind your own business.”

“Mistress, let me help you.” Karesu tried to assist her to stand from the ground. “If this continues, you won’t be in any condition to fight. I know that’s the
last
thing you want.”

“I need the cordial, Karesu,” Arlina demanded. “I don’t care of the side effects you spewed at me; I need to rest. I need…rest…”

Arlina fainted into Karesu’s arms. He reminded himself to burn the clothes he now wore, just to rid them of the woman’s essence. A shame really, for he rather favored this current attire.

Once he laid her on the ground, he reached into the purple velvet pouch that hung beside the sword on his hip. He pulled out a tiny vial of a viscous white liquid. It was milked from a particular root that grew in the outskirts of Blackwen City, and Karesu had learned long ago that it contained powerful properties. The root contained a liquid that could help heal physical ailments while putting the person into a comatose state. But some never woke up from taking the cordial Karesu managed to make of the mysterious root, and those who had experienced symptoms such as extreme hallucinations and psychotic outbreaks.

In essence, the side-effects made a full-blood more dangerous than they already were. Researching the root through the texts proved useless, as there was no mention of it.

“Well, I couldn’t care less if you woke up or not,” Karesu began as he pulled the rubber plug from the vial. “You’re already psychotic. But since I still have need of you, and you’re one stubborn bitch when it comes to meeting with Avilyne…”

He pushed apart Arlina’s lips with his fingers and slipped a few drops of the cordial down her throat. Her body shook violently for several seconds, and she then stilled. That was a normal reaction when one drank the cordial. He knew the Mistress would wake from it; Arlina had far too many agendas to fulfill before submitting to such a death.

A scout found them and informed Karesu that the Mistress’ tent was set up. After being sworn to discretion concerning the Mistress of Blackwen, the scout helped Karesu haul Arlina from the ground and carried her to the tent.

I awoke in a pile of clothing I had loosed from my trunks in an effort to pack. I smelled the fox blood before seeing myself covered in it. My back ached as it never had before…I must have flown for some time.

My control had slipped more than I thought. How was I going to face Arlina if I couldn’t even contain the dark side of my heritage?

I grabbed all the bloodstained clothes I’d slept on and rushed to toss them into the fireplace in the main room. I slipped out of the ones I wore once I was in the washroom, and I ignored the inflamed reds of my skin as I scrubbed the fox blood from my body. My vision blurred more the longer the process took; the monster was winning.

It was a good thing I was leaving Ellewynth. Perhaps that was the true reason I wanted to escape in the first place. Wouldn’t it be simpler to let Arlina rid Arrygn of another monster?

No
, a part of me answered.
You must fight. You must live
.

I crawled out of the washtub and curled into a ball. I didn’t want to die, but neither did I want to live in fear.

Images of the dream where Mother and Arlina fought flashed into my mind. I sat up and clenched my hands into fists.

This fight isn’t just about you
, I thought.
It’s about Mother too
.

I had to fight Arlina…for Mother’s sake. Perhaps the sudden moment of courage would stay with me for the rest of my days.

I forced myself off the ground and threw on a clean tunic and breeches. The material clung to my still wet and reddened skin, and I did not bother to brush my hair. It waved whether it was soaked or not, so it did not matter. I stared at the last set of bloodstained clothes and gingerly picked them up.

Once I reached the fireplace, I hesitated to throw away the bundle in my hands. I couldn’t tear my gaze from the scarlet blotches in the fabric.

“You are a monster,” I whispered. “You always will be.”

The knocks that echoed into the room startled me; I dropped the bundle on my bare feet.

Who was here at this hour? Avilyne’s hell…did I leave a visible trail of fox corpses behind?

Against my better judgment, I opened the door, and I stood face to face with Shadow. He looked exhausted, with his hair loose and glazed green eyes. He became more alert when he saw my inflamed skin color and tear-stained face. Shadow reached out to touch me, but I pulled back. It was then that he noticed the bloodied clothes I’d dropped beside the fireplace.

“Avilyne’s hell,” Shadow whispered. His focus returned to me. “Another blackout.”

I nodded. “I’m losing myself.”

“We can work through this,” he said, as he stepped forward once more.

I took another step away from him. “There’s no working through this.”

“Artemis—”

“Stop it!” I cried. “Shadow, I am a
vampyra
. I kill animals with no memory of it! Sooner or later, it could be you, or Jack, or Talisa! Why do you keep my company knowing that one day I could kill you?”

Shadow shut the door behind him. He took off his cloak, and he went to pick up the bundle of clothes. He shut his eyes a moment after he tossed them into the fire. When he eventually opened them, Shadow walked toward me. He grabbed my arm before I could back away.

“Look at me,” Shadow said, his tone gentle. When I didn’t, he lightly grasped my chin and forced me to gaze at him. “You are a dhampir. You are a child of both the light and the dark. You kill foxes, and you will kill people one day.” His grasp grew firm when I tried to look away. “Monsters…they have no remorse. They enjoy stealing lives. They enjoy inflicting pain. You are not tainted, Artemis. There
is
a safer and easier way to live with this.”