wasn't coming home again. "I'm not far. We'll see each other on weekends," he said after he'd moved out. "I'll swing by and get you Saturday."
|
"Mom," I called out. "Can we go with Daddy?"
|
Grabbing the phone, Mom said, "No, John, you have to visit them at the house. You know I won't let them get into a car with you."
|
I thought of the commercials I saw on TVthe ones with the twisted metal and chalk outlines. And the words Drunk driving kills . Could that happen to Daddy? Please God , I'd pray at night, help Daddy get well . But too often, when he pulled into the driveway, we could smell the booze.
|
"Daddy, don't drive like that," I'd plead. Usually, he tried to shrug off my worries, but once he pulled me close, his eyes heavy with sadness. "I wish I wasn't like this," he said. "I wish I was a good dad."
|
I wished that, too. I hated alcohol for what it had doneto all of us.
|
At first, I was too embarrassed to tell my friends the truth about my dad. But as I started to see kids drinking, I couldn't hold back. "That's why my dad isn't around," I'd say, pointing to the bottles.
|
All Dad's visits were brief. In between hugs and kisses, he drew pictures for us, and we crammed in stories about school and friends. "I'm getting help," he'd say. Maybe my brothers, Justin and Jordan, believed itbut I didn't. And yet with all my heart, I wanted to believe. I can still feel the rocking of the porch swing and my father's arm around my shoulder.
|
"The day you turn sixteen," he once said, "I'm going to buy you a car." I nuzzled closer to him. I knew he'd give me the world if he could. But I understood that no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't.
|
Then one night during my senior year of high school,
|
|