Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor's Soul (2 page)

I was quite honored when asked to write the foreword to
Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul.
I have been so touched and inspired by the first two
Chicken Soup
books that my foreword may turn out to be longer than the book. On the other hand, I realized that I could also write a one-word foreword. What is the one word? Love. I could quote all the great spiritual leaders to emphasize this point, but I think you, dear reader, know what I am saying, or you wouldn’t be reading this book.

When we see an event that has an emotional impact upon us, one of our choices is to repress the feelings it creates and bury them deep within. In my early years as a physician I was very good at this. I thought I was protecting myself, but I was actually destroying myself. I finally hurt enough to seek healing. Books like
Chicken Soup for the Soul
were part of my healing because when you read, you get in touch with your feelings. You can then express those feelings so that you may heal your life and your body. So read, feel and find healing in these pages.

Learn from the natives—those who have preceded you and found paths to healing. We all have cancer in one form or another—emotional or physical. Ninety percent of the people I speak to say, “Life is unfair.” What they are really saying is, “Life is difficult.” Yes, but it is difficult for all of us, so therefore, it must be fair. We are all complaining. What this book can reveal to you is not only how to deal with cancer but how to deal with all of life’s difficulties and make life a more meaningful experience.

I find as I care for people that they do not lack information about how to live a healthier lifestyle. They lack inspiration that leads to transformation. For some, this inspiration comes when they learn that they have a short time left to live—that they are not immortal. Well, none of us are immortal, and so it is a lot wiser to read
Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul
and be inspired than to wait until you have a life-threatening illness.

As I have said, my transformation came from my pain as a physician, from storing everything inside me until I suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, common to so many people in today’s society. My patients became my teachers. In helping them learn how to live between office visits, I was also learning about living. So please accept your mortality and find happiness and love. You’ll also find that the first person you need to love is yourself.

Who are the best teachers? I find they are the people who don’t die when they are supposed to. They will enlighten you about life. They know they are not statistics, nor are they controlled by statistics. A medical student I know got angry when he read that his disease invariably recurs, and seven years later he graduated from medical school with no sign of the “incurable” tumor. Others set out to create a more beautiful world and get so busy they forget to die. They suddenly have permission to quit a job, take off a tie, move to the mountains or seashore, express love, assert themselves, explore a spiritual life, read and do other things they never had time for. They learn the truth of the statement, “Enjoy yourself; it is later than you think.” Their enjoyment is not about being selfish. I can’t believe how many people think being happy is selfish. I am talking about people who contribute to the world in their own way, not the way someone else decides. As one woman said, “After I had done all the things I wanted to do before I died, I didn’t die.” Later she wrote, “Now I’m so busy I’m killing myself. Help! Where do I go from here?” I told her to take a nap. She wasn’t burning out, she was burning up.

Others decide to leave their troubles to God and then get well. Let the problems in your life be your teachers. Always describe your difficulties with words that express your feelings. Then look at the things in your life that fit the description and heal them. Your life will improve and you will derive physical benefits, too. Remember, life is a labor pain but the pains are not inflicted by someone else. You decide what you go through to give birth to yourself.

We also know that if you experience labor surrounded by caring people, you have far less pain and far fewer complications. So reach out for the help you need. Create a mutual investment society with your family, friends and health care providers. The stories contained here will guide you in how to do that.

These stories will also teach you that life isn’t about “Why me?” but “Try me!” You will learn that beating a disease or difficulty isn’t only about curing it but about living with adversity in such a way that you inspire those around you. You are a winner because of the way you live, not because you don’t die.

Unhealthy guilt, shame and blame have no place in your new life. If you lose your car keys, it isn’t because God is punishing you and wants you to walk home, and if you lose your health it also is not because God is punishing you. We (God included) will help you to find your health just as we would help you search for your keys— without guilt or blame.

When you live in the moment, you will be amazed at the change in your life and the inner wisdom you discover. As you will learn from reading this book, transformation is the key. I will let you in on a secret that I only share with readers on how to succeed at transformation.

Your thoughts create chemical changes in your body. What you experience and anticipate alter you. Spend a moment laughing, loving or playing and your body feels different than it does during moments of anxiety, despair or fear.

So what can you do? Behave as if you are the person you want to be. We know from studies that actors and actresses,

Acknowledgments

when simply playing a role, alter their body chemistry depending upon the emotion they are portraying.

When you finish your
Chicken Soup
and are feeling better, decide who you want to be and start becoming your new self. No one can change you but yourself, but a good coach can help bring out the best in you. Let this book be a coach or guide, but seek out other coaches, too.

I will close with one important thought. William Saroyan writes, “Everyone alive is an actor but almost everyone alive is a very pathetic actor.” He goes on to say that this is why you are given a lifetime to learn to act like yourself. So forgive yourself when you are not the person you want to be. Then get out your baby picture, look at it and forgive yourself. Then get on with being who you want to be.

One last word of advice—read
Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul
and become enlightened. And for those of you who do not have cancer but may be a family member, friend or health care provider to someone who does—or just a member of the human species—don’t wait until your mortality is threatened to wake up to the lessons of life presented here.

Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.

Like the prior volumes of
Chicken Soup for the Soul,
this book took over a year to write, compile and edit. It was a true labor of love for all of us involved, and we would like to thank the following people for their contributions, without which this book could never have been created.

Our families, who gave us the space to do the book and the needed emotional support to persevere through what seemed like a totally overwhelming and never-ending task. You continue to be Chicken Soup for Our Souls day after day after day!

Heather McNamara, who spent countless hours—late into the evening and lots of weekends—reviewing the manuscript and editing each and every draft. Heather, we couldn’t have done it without you!

Harold Benjamin, for his insights and brilliance during this project and for taking the time to meet with us to go over the manuscript—giving us much needed feedback.

Dr. Bernie Siegel, for taking time out of his busy schedule to offer advice, insights about the mind-body connection, medical information and much more.

Diana Chapman, for continually sharing her stories, giving feedback on the manuscript and cheering us on throughout the whole project.

Coping Magazine,
for allowing us to request stories from their readers in the “letters” section of the magazine.

Joel Goodman, who sent us several pieces on humor that were very helpful.

Anna Kanson at
Guideposts,
for researching and sending us stories. Thank you for your patience! This book would not be complete without you.

Meladee McCarty, who not only read the entire manuscript in record time, but also sent several stories and quotes to help us bring much needed humor to the book.

Michelle Nuzzo, for the encouragement and ideas on where to go for more resources and for editing the initial version of the manuscript. Michelle, you were always there when we needed you!

John Wayne “Jack” Schlatter, who continually sent in wonderfully written stories and supported us throughout the process of this project. You are a true friend, Jack!

Marci Shimoff and Jennifer Hawthorne, coauthors of the forthcoming
Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul,
for sending in stories from all over the country.

Peter Vegso and Gary Seidler at Health Communications, for believing in us and continually getting our books into the hands of millions of readers. Thank you, Peter and Gary!

Kim Wiele, who kept our general office running during the final phase of this project.

Kimberly Manson Culver, who helped read and grade stories and worked many hours to help complete this project.

Larry Price, who continues to support us and reinforce us with encouragement.

Trudy Klefstad at OfficeWorks, who typed the manuscript in record time and with very few errors. You are a true gem!

Christine Belleris, Matthew Diener and Mark Colucci, our editors at Health Communications, for their generous efforts in bringing this book to its high state of excellence. Also Teri Peluso at Health Communications, for her hard work and dedication.

We also want to thank the following people who read the first
very rough
draft of the book, helped us make the final selections and made invaluable comments on how to improve the book: Jeff Aubery, Kelle Apone, Brian Barnwell, Harold Benjamin, Linda Blackman, Diana Chapman, Mona Cohen, Manuel Diotte, Pam Finger, Charles Green, Dr. Robert Grossman, Glenda Hawley,

Introduction

Jennifer Hawthorne, Elizabeth Kapiloff, Kimberly Kirberger, Edd Mabrey, Meladee and Hanoch McCarty, Linda Mitchell, Michelle Nuzzo, Lee Potts, Dr. Ann Raymer, Martin Rutte, John Wayne Schlatter, Marci Shimoff, Bernie Siegel, Janet Switzer, Rebecca Wiederkehr, Dr. Robert Wollman, Monique Djolakian Zgrablich and Kelly Zimmerman.

We also appreciate all the people who sent us stories, poems and quotes for possible inclusion in
Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul.
While we couldn’t use everything you sent in, we were deeply touched by your heartfelt intention to share yourselves and your stories with us and our readers. Love to you!

We are sure in the immensity of this project we have left out the names of some of the people who helped us. For that we are sorry but nonetheless grateful for the many hearts and hands that made this book possible. Thank you all for your vision, your caring, your commitment and your actions.

T
he stories people tell have a way of taking care of them.... Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive.

Barry Lopez

From our hearts to yours, we are delighted to offer you
Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul.
This book contains over 100 stories that we know will encourage you to have more hope, empower you to take charge of your life and your healing process, inspire you to give and receive more unconditional love, motivate you to fight and persevere in the face of what may seem to be insurmountable obstacles and odds, invite you to share your feelings, persuade you to reach out for and accept more support, and finally, convince you to live each day more fully and with more humor as you pursue your heartfelt dreams with more conviction. This book will sustain you in times of frustration and challenge, and comfort you in times of pain and suffering. If you let it,
Chicken Soup for the Cancer Survivor’s Soul
will truly be a lifetime companion, offering insight, wisdom and guidance on many areas of your recovery and your life.

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