Chiaroscuro (25 page)

The cakes were in Matthew's hands now, so Ben could prepare for the wedding. Tristan's in-laws hadn't known what to make of Ben on the bride's side at the rehearsal--one of Laird's aunts had asked him over and over, "You're not a friend of Laird's? Then what are you doing here?"

"Moral support," Ben had answered, smiling winningly.

Jamie pinned the boutonnière to Ben's lapel and smiled up at him. "There. You're quite presentable now."

Ben grinned and straightened Jamie's purple tie--which didn't need straightening, but Jamie was not going to complain--then quickly kissed Jamie's mouth. "Thanks. Let's get on the road."

***

The wedding itself was like many others Jamie had attended: the groom was proud, the bride was beautiful, and the flower girl carefully dropped one rose petal at a time as she walked down the aisle. No one said a word when the priest asked if there was any reason these two could not be joined in holy matrimony--Ben didn't even look like he wanted to. Tristan wept a little during Laird's vows and Laird wept a little during hers, and when they kissed he put his arms around her and held her close a moment as if he couldn't believe they'd made it here.

There were pictures afterwards: all of the families together, the couple with just the bride's attendants, the couple with just the ushers, the couple alone, the bride with her attendants, the groom with his, on and on. There was music playing in the reception hall and champagne and hors d'oeuvre to eat, so Jamie and the other guests danced and ate and waited. Eventually Ben found Jamie and draped an arm over his shoulder, leaning his head against Jamie's neck. "So many pictures," he said with a groan.

"They want to remember," Jamie said and turned his head just enough to quickly kiss Ben's cheek. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm... just fine." He laid his head on Jamie's shoulder, and Jamie stroked his hand through Ben's hair. "I'm holding up just fine. She's happy. That's all I need." He added, "She's saving me a dance for later."

"Fabulous." He kissed the top of Ben's head.

Ben smiled, and then stepped away and held out his hand to Jamie. "Dance with me."

"Why, sir," Jamie said, beaming, and put his hand in Ben's and let him take him out onto the dance floor. It was a slow song and they moved easily together. Ben knew how to lead and Jamie knew how to follow, his body responding to the light pressure on his back from Ben's fingers to turn this way and move that. Ben smiled down at him, ignoring any double-takes they got. There were not many of these.

"I'm glad you came with me," Ben said, bending to speak into Jamie's ear. "I mean, I didn't think it would be hard or anything but I'm very glad you're here."

"Of course I'm here. As Dune says, I'm not going to turn down free booze."

Ben chuckled and straightened up. "Of course. It's all about the free booze."

"Benjie, you know it's not all. It's also the excuse to dress up." Ben laughed outright and Jamie said, "And the excuse to dance with you."

"Yeah. This is pretty nice." He dipped Jamie and was grinning when he brought him upright again. "We should do this more often."

"Dune's always telling me I need to get out to the clubs more."

"Not a whole lot of slow-dancing goes on at the clubs." He brought his hands up from Jamie's waist to his neck, holding him loosely. "But we can find some, somewhere, I'm sure."

"You do know where all the best weddings are."

Ben hugged him tight, laughing, and Jamie hugged him under his jacket, and they spun and spun to the music.

***

"Okay," Ben said, a glass of champagne in his hand. "This is a bit unusual, since I'm not the groom, the best man, or even father of the bride. What I am--who I am--is Ben, and Tristan has been my best friend since we were both about a year old. My earliest memory, in fact, is of her hitting me over the head with a doll." The guests chuckled and Ben smiled, biting his lip a moment before going on. "No doubt for doing something stupid.

"All my life, Tristan has been my voice of reason, my steady center. Must be why I married her seven years ago."

He paused again but there was no laughter this time, and Jamie wished he were sitting close by to hold his hand. Ben didn't look like he was nervous, though, and went on steadily. "That marriage ended, obviously--for reasons that were not Tristan's fault. And this time she's chosen herself a good man," he looked at Laird, "who's going to look after her in ways I couldn't.

"I think Tristan asked me to speak today to lay to rest any lingering doubts people might have about our marriage and this one. I love Tristan," he said simply and she smiled up at him, her hand wrapped in Laird's. "I have for all of my life, and I will for all the rest. But there are always complications, aren't there? For us the fact that I'm gay was a big one."

Tristan took Ben's hand and he squeezed her fingers.

"This is the right thing," he told her. "This guy is the right guy." They smiled at each other--the kind of smile, Jamie thought, that only people who know each other perfectly can share. "To the bride and groom," Ben said, lifting his champagne glass, and everyone else toasted back, "To the bride and groom."

Once they had drunk the toast Ben came back to his seat beside Jamie, and now Jamie did take his hand like he'd wanted to earlier. It was more warm and damp than usual, and shaking a little. Ben took a deep breath and smiled at him bravely. "That is the hardest thing I've done in a long time," he said in a low voice.

"You did it very well," Jamie soothed him.

He closed his eyes and laid his head on Jamie's shoulder again. "At least most people here knew already so it wasn't like coming out. Just….clarifying things."

"Also the right thing to do," Jamie said, running his fingertips over Ben's forehead.

"I hope so." He raised his eyebrows when the best man announced it was time to cut the cake, and they applauded with the others as Laird and Tristan cut slices off the bottom-most tier and fed them to each other, kissing off any frosting that got on each other's faces. "I never get to see this part," Ben said softly.

"It's one of my favorite bits--and not just because I like cake."

"You'd better like cake," Ben said, "There's plenty of it around."

Jamie smiled at him. "Going to keep me in cake, Benjie?"

"You better believe it."

He reached for Ben's hand under the table and spoke in a voice too low for the others at the table to hear. "I'm almost surprised you haven't jumped me yet, cake or no cake. Or jumped somebody here, anyway. Aren't weddings your fetish?"

"I do not have a fetish," Ben mumbled. "I just meet a lot of people at weddings."

"So, who have you met today?"

Ben smiled. "I've been too busy to look. Besides, why take a chance when I'm going home with a sure thing?"

Jamie blinked, not sure if he should be flattered or offended. "I'm not a sure thing," he said finally.

"That's true. You haven't given me your permission lately."

"You haven't asked for it."

Ben studied him, and a familiar smirk crept over his mouth. "Jamie," he said, leaning his head closer to Jamie's neck so his breath brushed Jamie's skin. "Jamie, sweet James, beautiful, glowing, golden James, can I please come home with you tonight and fuck you stupid?"

Jamie raised his chin. "I don't know. I was planning to wash my hair."

"I could wash it for you."

"Such lengths you go to." Prim.

Ben lifted his head. "You know I'd do anything for you."

Their eyes met and held, and Jamie licked his lips. "Up to and including washing my hair."

Ben started smiling again and his hand tightened on Jamie's under the table. "I want to find a pantry. I want to do inexplicable things to you in it."

"Inexplicable or unmentionable?"

"A little of both." He was still gazing at Jamie, looking stunned and bemused and more than a little lustful. "Oh, Jamie," he said with a sigh, "why did you have to be so irresistible?"

"My excellent genes and charming accent." His fingers caressed Ben's hand.

They were jolted out of their reverie when the DJ played another fanfare and announced it was time for the bouquet and garter toss. Jamie applauded and laughed with the others, but his mind was not on the eager women jostling for Tristan's bouquet. He wanted to find a pantry too, or a men's room, or even a coat-closet--just some place with a wall to lean against and a door to close, some place where he could wrap himself around Ben and lose himself.

Tristan teased and laughed with her bouquet, finally throwing it over her shoulder into the arms of one of her sisters, who brandished it triumphantly. When the DJ announced it was time to toss the garter, the single men gathered into place and Laird's best man brought a chair for Tristan. Laird laughed and carefully lifted Tristan's leg to work down the blue garter, to whoops and cheers. "Gather up, boys, gather up," he called and fired the garter into the crowd--overshooting it completely so that the garter landed on the table in front of Jamie.

He picked it up--it smelled faintly of perfume. Beside him Ben burst into laughter. Jamie gave him a weak smile and called to Laird, "Want to try again?"

"Keep it, man, keep it!" Laird said, laughing, and his best man placed both fingers at the sides of his mouth to whistle.

Jamie spun the garter on his forefinger and waved uncertainly to everyone who was cheering. "I don't even know where to begin with this."

"It gives you a good reason to visit Vancouver," Ben suggested.

"Glamorous Vancouver," Jamie murmured and laid the garter next to his champagne flute.

***

They kissed in the elevator on the way to Jamie's apartment, Jamie's hands smoothing under Ben's tuxedo jacket and Jamie's face cupped in Ben's hands. "Are you tired?" Jamie whispered. "Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's Sunday," Ben said, rubbing his lips against Jamie's cheek. "Bakery's closed."

"Then you can stay. A while. You can stay a while."

"I can definitely stay a while." His eyes looked dark as amber and he barely lifted his mouth enough to speak. "God, Jamie, I've had the worst time keeping my hands off you tonight."

"You didn't," Jamie said with a quiet laugh, and held onto Ben's waist as the elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. "You didn't keep your hands off me at all."

"See what I mean?" They stumbled to Jamie's door and Jamie fished in his pocket for the keys. Ben kissed his neck as he searched, hands on his ass.

"You're in my way," Jamie complained, not meaning it. "And how come we always come back to my place instead of going to yours?"

"Because your place is better. Your stuff is cooler." He nibbled Jamie's neck. "Your bed is more comfortable."

"I don't have a pantry, though." He unlocked the door and let them in.

"We'll just have to make do," Ben answered and caught Jamie, pulling him back for another long, hard kiss. Abruptly he stopped and stepped back. "You haven't given the go-ahead and I shouldn't push myself on you. That would be bad."

"That's so," Jamie said solemnly, moving away and taking off his overcoat. He draped it over a chair and pulled off his shoes, aware that Ben was watching every movement. "And you did assume a great many things tonight. That I wouldn't meet anybody I liked better at the wedding, that we'd come here, that we'd get naked--"

"Oh, I wasn't assuming we'd get naked. We don't have to get naked. We can do a lot without being naked."

Jamie gave up trying to be serious, and grinned at him, lustful and pleased. "You want me so bad right now."

"I do, Sunshine," Ben said with a sigh. "It's terrible."

Jamie looked at him, his tall, solid, beautiful friend. "You can do anything to me tonight."

Ben's smile grew softer and he said, "Really?" as he stepped closer and took Jamie's face in his hands again.

"Anything," Jamie said again. "No matter how inexplicable."

Ben chuckled as he bent to kiss him. "Come on, then, gorgeous. Let's be inexplicable."

Jamie threw his arms around his neck, laughing as Ben hitched him against him so that he could wrap his legs around Ben's waist. Ben carried him back to his bedroom, kissing him, and then dropped him to the bed and began undressing him, kissing him still.

Jamie liked it a little rough, a little fierce, liked it when Ben tugged his nipple ring with his teeth. Jamie liked it like this, Ben pressing him back against the bed while they both were still mostly dressed, just their trousers open--winter wool suits, bought for weddings and funerals and those times you need to be your most respectable--and shorts pushed down just enough so that their cocks could rub together as they kissed. Jamie supported himself on his elbows, legs open, tie pushed aside because Ben didn't have the patience to unknot it--long fingers unbuttoned his shirt and stroked his ribs, teased his nipples, and then Ben curled his body enough to lick Jamie's stomach and up his chest, back to his throat.

"How much do you trust me?" he whispered and nipped the underside of Jamie's chin.

"I trust you. I trust you." He writhed under Ben's weight.

Ben chuckled and tugged off Jamie's tie, kissing his mouth; he pulled it out of the collar and twined it through his long fingers a moment, grinning down at Jamie, then abruptly he flipped Jamie onto his stomach and tied his hands together behind his back.

"Oi!" Jamie protested, laughing and squirming. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I think I'm pushing the boundaries of our friendship. What do you think I'm doing?" He slipped his hands under Jamie's chest and finished unbuttoning his shirt so he could pull it down to Jamie's elbows. He kissed the length of Jamie's spine.

"Benjie, I'm not so sure about this."

"Why?" His hands slid into Jamie's shorts to stroke his cock. "You did say I could do anything."

Jamie shivered but still managed to speak in a relatively steady voice. "I don't like being confined."

"You're not confined," Ben whispered and licked Jamie's ear. "You're free to go any time."

Jamie tugged at his hands--as he suspected, he only made the knot tighter. "I don't feel free."