Chesapeake 10 - A Seaside Christmas (12 page)

How many times had she wondered about whether he was marriage material, much less father material? Though she’d tried to live in the moment when they were together, never entirely believing that their love could possibly last, she’d wondered about the future, imagined scenes a little too close to this one for comfort. Now, here he was for the second time lately, proving that she hadn’t been entirely wrong to believe in that particular happy ending.

He glanced up and saw her. “There you are,” he said, his eyes lighting up. “You’re late.”

“Sorry.”

“No problem. I figured that meant you’d gotten an inspiration that kept you up half the night.”

“You know me too well.”

He held her gaze. “I did...once upon a time.”

Emily Rose stared up at him, her eyes filled with adoration. “Is that the beginning of a story, Caleb?”

“It is,” he said. “It’s a story about a princess who fell in love with a man with many flaws.”

“Is Jenny the princess?” Sean asked.

Caleb grinned. “She is, indeed.”

“And you’re the man,” Emily Rose said, bouncing up and down with excitement. “But you fall in love and live happily ever after.”

Caleb’s gaze was on Jenny now. “I hope that’s how it turns out,” he said quietly.

Jenny released a sigh. She was very much afraid that her silly, sentimental heart was going to lure her into finding out for herself.

* * *

Once Sean and Emily Rose had gone off to play with the other children in the cast, Caleb held out his hand for the lyrics that had kept Jenny up all night.

“Let me see.”

“They probably suck,” she said, though she reluctantly handed them over. “It was the middle of the night. I was so exhausted I could hardly see straight, much less think.”

He laughed at the litany of familiar excuses. “We both know that’s when you do some of your best work, darlin’. Now hush and let me read.”

She stood anxiously by as he read through the first verse, the refrain and then the second verse. She’d scribbled enough notes on the page for him to get the idea of what she had in mind for the tune.

“Well?” she prodded.

Rather than answering, Caleb picked up his guitar and strummed a few notes. “Like this?” he asked.

She dropped down beside him and picked up her own guitar. “More like this.”

He smiled, figuring out what she’d had in mind, then joining his sound to hers. On the second run-through, he sang the lyrics, adjusting the tempo from time to time.

When the song ended, he glanced at her to find her eyes bright, her expression faintly uncertain.

“It works, doesn’t it?” she said hesitantly.

“It’s amazing,” he said. “Bree is going to go crazy for this.”

“Are you sure you’re not saying that just so you’ll win?”

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’m saying it because the song is fantastic. It’s going to have the audience on its feet. I may not know as much about theater as Bree does, but I know a showstopper when I hear one. There won’t be a dry eye in the house.”

He looked away, then turned to her. “Is this how you really feel, Jenny? About me? About forgiveness?”

“It’s a song for the play,” she insisted, not meeting his gaze.

“Jenny,” he commanded softly, then waited.

She finally met his gaze.

“Is it how you feel?” he asked again.

She nodded slowly. “I want those old feelings back, Caleb. I want to believe that our happily-ever-after is still possible.”

“But you’re scared,” he guessed. How could she not be?

“Of course. You nearly destroyed me when you cheated. How can I give you a chance to do that again?”

“Sometimes we don’t have a choice,” he said simply. “Sometimes love is so strong that we just have to take a leap of faith.”

“That’s so much easier for you to say,” she argued. “You didn’t have your heart ripped out.”

He gave her a startled look. “Do you really believe that, Jenny? Just because I caused the breakup doesn’t mean I didn’t get hurt. I never left you and moved on to someone new. I made a stupid mistake that cost me the woman I loved. It might have been my own fault, but it still killed me. Maybe it was even worse in some ways, because I had to live with the guilt of knowing how badly I’d hurt you.”

Her eyes flashed then. “You do not seriously want me to feel sorry for you,” she said.

“Of course not. I’m just saying I paid a price, too.” He regarded her earnestly. “The only good thing to come out of it was that I woke up to the mess I was making of my life. I’m working my tail off now to get a second chance—with the music, with you. I won’t blow things again, that’s for sure, because I really get the value of what I lost.”

He could see how badly she wanted to believe him. The yearning in her eyes touched him, but there were doubts there, too, doubts he hadn’t entirely erased. He was smart enough to know that only time and patience could accomplish that.

He risked putting an arm around her shoulders, drawing her close. She hesitated, then leaned into him. “We have time, sweetheart. I’m not asking you to make a decision about me just yet.”

She regarded him with regret. “I wish I could. I wish I were ready, Caleb.”

He smiled at the wistfulness in her voice. It echoed his own. “Me, too, darlin’. Me, too.”

But the hard truth was, forgiveness took time. Worse, sometimes forgetting took even longer.

* * *

“I swear to goodness, if that woman does not get her hands off Caleb, I am going to do some serious damage to her,” Jenny muttered from the wings where she’d been watching rehearsal.

Beside her, Jess chuckled. At Bree’s request, she’d stopped by to deliver lunch from the inn for the cast.

“Oh, this is wonderful,” Jess said with obvious delight. “Bree told me you were green-eyed with jealousy, but I didn’t believe her.”

“I’m not jealous,” Jenny replied. “It’s just unseemly, that’s all.”

“Why?”

“It’s a Christmas play, not some X-rated movie,” Jenny replied. “This is supposed to be family entertainment.”

Jess struggled to swallow a laugh, but in the end the sound erupted.

“What?” Jenny demanded. “You think this is funny?”

“I think it’s hilarious,” Jess confirmed. “You remind me of my cousin Susie and the way she reacted when Mack’s ex-lover came to work for him.” Her expression suddenly turned dark. “Of course, that woman was a she-devil, so Susie wasn’t entirely to blame for how she reacted.”

“And you don’t think that woman onstage is a she-devil who’d haul Caleb off to bed at the first opportunity?” Jenny demanded.

“I’m sure she would. I doubt there’s a woman still breathing who wouldn’t be delighted to haul Caleb off to bed. The real question is whether he’d go. Caleb’s the kind of guy in the kind of profession who’s always going to face temptation. You know that. What’s really important is that I’ve seen no evidence that he’s interested in anyone’s bed other than yours.”

Jenny was slightly appeased by Jess’s assessment. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Jess said. “So, any inclination to take him home with you?”

Jenny sighed. “Of course I feel the inclination. Sometimes I want the man so badly I actually ache with it. I’ve been through three pints of Ben & Jerry’s in the past two nights trying to get him out of my head.”

“Any luck?” Jess inquired, her expression amused.

“No, but I am making an excellent start on working my way through the flavor selections at the grocery store.”

“It might make more sense to stop fighting so hard and just invite the man over for an evening of hot lovin’.”

“So delicately put,” Jenny commented. She shook her head. “I can’t, Jess.”

“Because you’re too stubborn to give in?”

“No, because once I give in, it will be all over. There will be no going back. I’ll be hooked, just like before.”

“You’re already hooked,” Jess suggested. “Maybe you should just enjoy it.”

“And risk getting my heart broken again?”

“Okay, in my role as devil’s advocate, let me ask you this. If Caleb left town tomorrow, if he never called you again or crossed your doorstep, would you be any less heartbroken?”

“No, but...”

“But what?” Jess pressed.

“I wouldn’t be humiliated,” Jenny told her. “Not like before. And it would be worse this time because the entire family has been standing on the sidelines watching all this unfold.”

Jess nodded. “I thought so. Pride’s a wonderful thing, Jenny. We all need a healthy dose of it. We need to believe in ourselves, nurture our self-respect, not let others take advantage of us.”

“That’s all I’m trying to do,” Jenny said.

“And bless you for having that strength and belief in yourself. Sometimes, though, you need to have a little faith in the honorable intentions of others. I’m no expert on Caleb, of course, but it seems to me he’s trying to do the right thing, that he’s a man who’s made mistakes, tried to rectify them and knows what he wants. I guess it all comes down to whether you’re more interested in protecting yourself or grabbing the dream.”

Jenny heard what Jess was trying to tell her. She turned her gaze to the stage where Caleb was pouring heart and soul into the lyrics she’d written. Though his attention was meant to be on his costar, who was once again draped all over him, his gaze sought out Jenny in the backstage shadows. There was no question to whom he was singing.

A sigh rippled through her then and when she released it, the last of her reservations left as well. Jess was right. Starting over again with Caleb was a risk. It would take work to get it right. But playing it safe would never get her what she really wanted—another chance with the man she loved.

Chapter Twelve

C
aleb saw Jenny rush out of the theater just as his big scene ended. He started after her, only to be stopped halfway up the aisle by Bree.

“We need to go over my notes, Caleb,” she told him. “I’d like to see you try a couple of things differently. Give me ten minutes before you take off, okay?”

He shook his head. “Not okay. I will be right back, though,” he promised. “Something’s up with Jenny. I need to see what happened.”

Bree looked for a minute as if she were going to argue, but Jess joined them just then and said, “Let him go. They need to talk.”

Caleb studied Jess. He knew that she and Jenny had become confidantes lately, even if they didn’t appear to be as close as Jenny and Bree were. “You know what this is about? What upset her, Jess?”

Jess looked more amused than disturbed by whatever she was about to reveal. Caleb took heart from that.

“I’d say it’s a toss-up between your costar crawling all over you and her own panic that she’s falling in love with you again.”

A smile immediately spread across Bree’s face. “Really?”

“Oh, yeah,” Jess confirmed.

Caleb glanced at Bree. “Well?”

“Go,” she said at once. “Be back in an hour. Believe me, I have plenty of notes for everyone else I can go over in the meantime.”

“Better make it two hours,” Jess said. “Something tells me this could take a little time.” She grinned at Caleb. “That is, if you don’t blow it.”

Caleb didn’t intend to blow anything. “Any idea where she was headed?”

“She didn’t say, but back to her house would be my guess,” Jess said. “I’m sure she wanted to be someplace she considers a safe haven.”

Caleb grabbed his jacket and bolted from the theater. He jumped in his truck and headed toward Jenny’s, noting that snow was starting to fall. The flurries were light right now, but given the clouds banked overhead, there was a good chance of a nice accumulation before the storm passed. He couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to be snowed in with Jenny for a couple of days. Of course, knowing the sorry state of her cupboards, they’d probably starve to death, but it might be worth it to have her all to himself.

He was on Main Street when he spotted Jenny on the town green, sitting on a bench. Even bundled up, she had to be freezing, but her rapt gaze was pinned on the Chesapeake Shores community tree, which had been lit the night before. Even from the truck, he could see the smile on her face. He thought maybe the sight of the tree might have soothed her temper, at least a little.

He angled into the only open spot he saw, a space designated No Parking. A ticket would be a small price to pay, if it came to that, he decided as he walked slowly in her direction.

He dropped down onto the bench beside her. “Lovely day to sit outside,” he commented, drawing a startled look.

She laughed. “It’s actually my favorite kind of day.” She tilted her face to the sky. “It’s snowing and the tree is lit. I wish I’d been here last night. The lighting of the tree is one of the best events the town has. There are carols and hot chocolate, and then the mayor flips the switch. It’s always so beautiful.” She turned to him. “Isn’t it wonderful? It feels just like Christmas.”

“You know what I think is wonderful? Seeing how happy you look right this minute.” He stroked her cheek, felt her tremble. “Are you happy, Jenny?”

“Sure. Of course,” she replied a little too quickly.

“Then why did you run out of the theater?”

“I needed to think,” she told him.

“About us?”

She nodded.

“Want to go back to your place and talk about it?” he asked. “I don’t know about you, but my butt’s about to freeze on this bench.”

“Your own fault. If you had more meat on your bones, you wouldn’t be cold.”

“If you kissed me, that might help, too,” he suggested.

Her expression sobered at once as she seemed to consider the idea. “I suppose it’s worth a try,” she said solemnly, placing a hand on his cheek. The tentativeness of the touch was telling. It was as if this were the first time there had been any intimacy at all between them.

Caleb left it up to her what happened next. She leaned in so slowly he thought his heart might stop as he waited. Then her soft-as-velvet lips, cool as ice, were against his. Damp with snow, they warmed as the kiss deepened.

“I’ve missed this, Jenny,” he murmured against her lips. “More than you’ll ever know.”

“Me, too,” she said with a sigh, returning for more.

Caleb would have happily stayed right there with the snow falling, the tree lights twinkling and the sudden scratchy notes of Christmas music swirling in the air from what sounded like a fairly antiquated speaker system, but Jenny shivered in his arms.

“That’s it,” he said, pulling her up. “We need to go inside.” He looked into her eyes. “Your place or the theater?”

She glanced away and hesitated for so long, he thought for sure they’d be heading straight back to rehearsal. Instead she eventually lifted her gaze to his. “It’s up to me?”

He nodded. “Always has been.”

She drew in a deep breath then and whispered, “My place.”

“You’re sure?”

“Not entirely,” she said candidly. “But it’s what I want.”

He looked into her eyes and made a solemn vow. “You’re not going to regret it, Jenny. Swear to God.”

No matter what effort it took, he was never going to let her down again.

* * *

Jenny was pretty sure she must have lost her mind for just a minute back there on the town green. Had she seriously invited Caleb to her home with the clear intent that the invitation included a lot more than hot chocolate and conversation?

At the front door she swallowed hard and tried to get the key in the lock, but her hand was shaking so badly she couldn’t do it.

“Nervous?” he asked, taking the key from her.

“Of course not,” she insisted. “Just cold. I think my fingers are frozen. First thing inside, I’m going to make hot chocolate.”

He studied her, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “First thing, huh?”

She refused to blink or look away. “First thing,” she said firmly.

“What’s the second thing on your agenda?” he asked as he opened the door to let her inside. “Just out of curiosity.”

“Still working that out in my head,” she acknowledged.

“In my experience it’s sometimes possible to overthink things,” he said.

“A convenient philosophy under the circumstances,” she replied as she tossed her coat aside in the kitchen and pulled cups from the cupboard. She was about to fill a pot with water and grab the hot chocolate packets when Caleb’s hand covered hers.

“Wait,” he commanded quietly.

“You don’t want hot chocolate?” she asked, her nerves back. Even if he were absolutely desperate for hot chocolate, it wasn’t what he wanted right this minute and they both knew it. It wasn’t what she wanted, either. That didn’t mean it made sense to give in to temptation. She understood on some level that if she was this conflicted, making love with Caleb right now might not be wise.

“Hot chocolate is optional,” he said, holding her gaze. “What I want is you, upstairs, in bed.”

“Oh.” She exhaled softly as her pulse raced. The rational side of her was rapidly losing the fight. Desperate yearning was winning.

“But,” he said, his thumb grazing her lower lip, “if that’s not what you want, if you’re not ready, just say the word. I promised you time, Jenny. I’m not going back on that now.”

She frowned at him. “Why can’t you be more unreasonable?” she asked in frustration.

“And take the decision out of your hands?” he asked, chuckling. “No way. Not this time. I won’t have you throwing it in my face from now till doomsday that I took advantage of you when you were feeling all sentimental about the holidays. You need to be ready to take responsibility for this decision the same way I’m trying to take responsibility for mine in the past.”

She stood there shivering under the intensity of his gaze, then sighed. As badly as she wanted this man, as desperately as she wanted to forgive and forget, she wasn’t ready yet. She hated that, too, because right this second with her blood humming and her pulse scrambling, jumping into bed with him held a whole lot of appeal.

Caleb must have sensed her struggle, because in the end, he took a step back. “Hot chocolate, then back to rehearsal,” he said briskly.

Relief washed over her, right along with bitter disappointment. She wasn’t sure how the two could coexist, but she felt both. “I’m sorry.”

He touched a finger to her lips. “Don’t you dare be sorry. This takes as long as it takes. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Not even to that woman’s bed?” she grumbled before she could stop herself. “I’m sure Ms. Broadway Hottie would be eager to share her room at the inn with you.”

He laughed. “Not a chance. I know what the stakes are, sweetheart. You’re the woman I want and you’re worth waiting for.”

“You could at least tell her to keep her hands to herself.”

“I believe Bree is the one who’s directing her on where her hands should go,” Caleb said. “Does it really bother you?”

She shrugged, trying to feign indifference, but she could see he wasn’t buying it. “Makes me crazy,” she confessed.

“I know this is going to make me sound like a total guy, but I’m not entirely unhappy about that,” he told her. “Not that I would deliberately set out to make you jealous, of course. That would be an incredibly lousy strategy.”

“But if the green-eyed monster just happens to take over my body and make me completely irrational, you won’t object,” she said, shaking her head. “You
are
such a guy.”

At the moment, though, he seemed to be hers. But she knew in her heart that as patient as he swore he would be, sooner or later that could change, especially with a whole world of willing women ready to take her place. He might not want them...now. He might be totally committed to her...now. That didn’t mean he’d remain immune to their charms forever.

“Caleb,” she said softly as he mixed boiling water with the packets of hot chocolate.

He glanced at her. “What?”

“I do love you.”

“I know.”

“It’s not about that,” she said, needing him to understand.

“I know that, too.”

She studied his face, saw the tenderness in his eyes, the genuine caring and gave a little nod of satisfaction. “I just want to be sure.”

“The love’s a given,” he said. “It’s the trust that’s a work in progress.”

“Exactly. But I’m almost there,” she said. “Honestly.”

He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “Take your time. I’ve got nowhere else to be.”

That wasn’t entirely true, Jenny thought to herself. Once this Christmas play was over and done with, the music world would be rushing back to his doorstep with new demands on his time and attention. Suddenly the pressure to take a leap of faith was overwhelming.

Rushing a decision this huge, though? How could she do that and be true to herself? Because once she made her choice to let Caleb back into her life, she’d have to be all in. And even though they’d come such a long way, the prospect of giving herself so completely still scared her to death.

* * *

“Things seem to be going well between you and Caleb,” Bree said casually, her gaze on Jenny.

They were at Flowers on Main, Bree’s other business, making flower arrangements for a wedding on Saturday, just a few days before Christmas.

“I suppose,” Jenny said, reluctant to admit that she’d fallen hard for a second time with a man she didn’t entirely trust. Not that her feelings would come as any surprise to Bree. She’d been right there when Caleb and Jenny had returned to the theater two days before, her expression a little too knowing.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Bree said.

“About Caleb?”

“In a way. It’s a request, really.”

“Don’t you know by now that there’s nothing I won’t do for you?”

“Good to know,” Bree said. Her expression innocent, she inquired, “Would you consider taking a small part in the play?”

Startled, Jenny stared at her. “At this late date? You can’t add another part. You’ll make the cast crazy.”

“Just one scene at the end of Act I,” Bree explained. “No big deal. It’s too late for me to find someone else.”

“Do it yourself, if it’s no big deal,” Jenny suggested. “At least you’ve been onstage before. I’m not an actress. I never aspired to be one, either. Performing in front of people is not my thing. Caleb tried to drag me onstage at a concert once and I came close to passing out in his arms. It wasn’t pretty.”

“It’s nothing to worry about,” Bree assured her. “It’s a nonspeaking role. By the time you get nervous, it will be over.”

“Are you kidding me?” Jenny protested. “I’m already nervous just thinking about it. No. Find someone else.”

“You’re the one who’s right for the part. You have to trust me on that.”

Jenny frowned. “Bree, I don’t get it. You have a whole family to pull from. Why am I the only one who could possibly do it?”

That facade of innocence, never terribly believable, slipped ever so slightly. “As a matter of fact, Caleb suggested it.”

Jenny’s suspicions went on high alert. “Since when do you listen to Caleb when it comes to making changes to your work?”

“I think his instincts about this are right on target,” Bree said. “He’s surprisingly insightful about what will work. I’ve come to respect his instincts. We make a good team.”

Jenny could add two and two as fast as the next person, especially on the sneakiness scale. “You want him to sing that love song to me, don’t you?” she said flatly. “You figure the audience will go wild at the implication, an implication that has nothing to do with the play and everything to do with our personal lives. Buzz on the internet to follow, of course.”

Bree didn’t waste time trying to deny it. “All I care about is that it would be a showstopper,” she insisted just the same.

“I doubt the actress who’s been playing his love interest for the whole production would agree,” Jenny said dryly, thinking it might just serve Helena McGuire right to be kicked out of his arms at the last minute.