Authors: Lindsey Rosin
The âZOE GOT SOME' Mix CD started playing as soon as Joey turned the car on.
“We don't have to listen to that . . . ,” Zoe started to say, but it was too late. Joey was already turning the volume up.
“We don't have to listen, but we most certainly will. This Mix has to be good, if it's the reason you've been stealing my car all week.”
“Well, it's perfect,” Zoe explained, “but that doesn't mean you're gonna like itâ”
“âBootylicious,'” Joey
said, laughing as the first song filled the car. “Dylan's a Destiny's Child fan?”
“It's actually a genius first song choice. It's a modern classic. The intro is perfectâand then the whole thing builds and crescendos in all the right places.”
“You've obviously thought about this quite a bit,” Joey said.
Yes, Zoe had thought about it.
And she knew Dylan had too.
And it was that precise combination of thoughtfulness that made Zoe appreciate the mix so very much. Even though Zoe mostly listened to pop songs and show tunes and Dylan liked rock and rap and EDM, he managed to pick twenty songs that he knew they would both love. And, as far as Zoe was concerned, he had put them all in exactly the right order from start to finish.
It had been only a week since Dylan gave her the mix, but Zoe had already listened to the whole thing on repeat so many times that she'd lost count of the exact number. Zoe felt like you could tell a lot about a person by the music they listened to. It was like a window into their soul. She knew she wasn't going to be able to stop Joey from shuffling through all the songs on the mix, but she couldn't help but feel like he and Alex were sitting inside her headâand heart and soul and all thatâas they listened to the music Zoe loved so much: “Man in the Mirror.” “Walking in Memphis.” Andy Grammer's “Kiss You Slow.” Paramore's “Ain't It Fun.” “Wait for It” off the Hamilton Broadway cast album. And of course “Wonderwall” by Oasis.
Joey seemed rather impressed by the selection.
Then, he came across a track he hadn't heard before.
“That's this band Arkells. The song's called â11:11,'” Zoe said, knowing Dylan put it on the mix as a shout-out to her strange habit of kissing the clock and making a wish whenever she saw that time on her cell phone. She didn't explain that part to Joey and Alex. That was just for her and Dylan. “If you skip ahead a couple of songs, there's an amazing acoustic cover of Mariah Carey's âDreamlover' I've been geeking out about.”
“No one geeks out better than my little sister.”
“Hey, you can turn it off at any time,” Zoe said, Âhoping he'd take the hint, but he kept shuffling. He didn't let any of the songs play for more than a few seconds, but he paused for a little while longer on “I Know Things Now,” the one from
Into the Woods
about being excited and scared that had been stuck in Zoe's head for months. It meant a lot to her that Dylan had included this one, because she knew he'd never heard it before she mentioned it to him.
Finally, Joey got restless and turned off the mix, switching to the radio instead.
Then, Zoe's phone and Alex's phone vibrated at the same time.
Try actually kissing Oliver this time
, Layla texted The Chat.
No promises
, Alex texted back.
Zoe giggled.
“You guys talking about me?”
“Oh no. Alex's boy . . . ,” Zoe explained.
  *  *  * Â
ALEX
caught Joey's eyes in
the rearview mirror.
“That's not really an accurate description,” she said.
“Only 'cause he's an idiot,” Zoe exclaimed. “I still don't understand why you didn't make out all over his car last night.”
“I would've kissed him back if he kissed me first. But I'm sure he knows that, which is probably why he didn't make a move in the first place.”
“Wait. You think he didn't kiss you because he knew you'd kiss him back?” Zoe asked.
“No, he didn't kiss me because he wanted
me
to need to kiss
him
more than he
actually
wanted to kiss me in the first place,” Alex explained.
“Your flirting ability is so far above my skill level I don't even really know what any of that means.”
“I don't either,” Joey said, chuckling.
Alex appreciated Joey's sincerity. And his ability not to take himself too seriously. Oliver was so calculated about everything, always playing games.
Once they got to the party, Zoe and Austin took off pretty quickly, joining some of Austin's friends at the beer pong table. Joey and Alex walked into the kitchen together, looking for something to drink. She spotted Oliver across the room, setting up a boat race with Trevor and some of the other guys from the basketball team. He waved her over.
“Thanks for the ride,” Alex said to Joey.
“Have fun with your boy,” he said, smirking.
“He's not actually my boy . . .”
“Then Zoe's right. He is an idiot.”
  *  *  * Â
ZOE
might've
been the worst flip cup player in the history of flip cup.
The game was simple enough: Drink all your beer. Flip your cup over.
But Zoe simply could not do any of it.
The first problem was the fact that she didn't like beer. The second problem was that Zoe wasn't good at drinking quickly, no matter what the liquid happened to be. The third problem was the flipping, which was the entire point of the game. If the objective had been to flip the cup over and
not
have it land upside down, Zoe would've won every single time. As it was, she was a complete and total failure.
“You are so far away from doing this right, I think you might be close,” Austin teased before pulling Zoe in for a big kiss. Zoe's heart skipped a beat every time Austin kissed her, but it skipped twice whenever he did it in public. Austin would kiss her anywhere: in the hallway at school, in the senior parking lot, or right now, in the middle of Trevor Morgan's party.
As he should
, Zoe could hear all her girls saying, but this was new for Zoe.
“Wanna go upstairs?” Austin whispered in her ear.
That kind of question was new for Zoe too.
Zoe nodded and Austin grabbed her hand, interlacing their fingers, and together they made their way up the staircase. Halfway up, Zoe turned back, glancing down at the party below. She caught the gaze of a girl she didn't know for a moment, but then the girl darted her eyes away
quickly, not wanting to make it look like she had been Âstaring. Zoe had never seen this girl before, but Zoe had definitely
been
her before. So many times. The girl watching another couple walk up the stairs and not wanting to be caught. The girl longing to trade places but not wanting to admit it. At least for now Zoe didn't have to long for anything. She was with Austin, holding his hand, and heading toward an empty bedroom.
The first door Austin pushed on at the top of the stairs was locked, no doubt already occupied by another happy or drunken couple. After trying a few more locked doors they found the last one at the end of the hallway unlocked and unoccupied. Austin pulled Zoe into the room, kissing her as soon as he shut the door behind him. It occurred to Zoe, as they moved toward the twin bed, that maybe he had more on his mind than just kissing. . . .
They could've made out downstairs or outside in the backyard.
Here, now, they had a bed and a dark, quiet room.
Here, now, they could get naked if they wanted to.
Austin pulled off his shirt. Clearly,
he
wanted to . . .
Zoe pulled him in for another kiss. She could taste the beer on his tongue, which made her wonder if
she
tasted like beer too. And here, now she was drunk enough to ask him.
“Do you taste like beer?” Austin repeated back to her as if he were seriously considering the question. “I don't know, but I know how to find out . . .”
He leaned in for another kiss.
And then another one after that.
He never answered Zoe's question, but it just didn't seem to matter anymore.
After a few more minutes of kissing, Austin reached for Zoe's shirt, pulling it off. Honestly, Zoe had wanted to do that herself, but she hadn't been able to get up the nerve to take it off. Austin was more than happy to help. Zoe noticed that the sheets on the bed were pink and ruffled. There was a white floral pattern around the edge. They looked like the sheets she had on her bed when she was in elementary school, which made her feel small and also more drunk than she'd been even just a few moments before. She pushed her attention back to Austin and his kisses. He moved his lips down to her breasts and then even farther down onto her stomach. She moved her hands along his chest and up onto his shoulders. She couldn't help but giggle as she thought about how good it felt to have your shoulders rubbed. O
bviously,
it was not the same kind of good that caused orgasms . . .
Zoe and Austin kissed for a while longer, hovering right around second base, and just when it started to feel like it might be time to make a move toward third, the door swung open and a bright light flooded into the room.
At first Zoe couldn't see who had opened the door, but she heard the drunken giggles . . . And she could recognize that laugh anywhereâat least the male half of it.
Once Zoe's eyes readjusted, her suspicions were confirmed and she saw Dylan standing in the doorframe.
And he saw her, too.
This was not how Zoe had imagined Dylan would see her in her bra for the first time.
Not that she had ever really imagined that sort of thing.
Or maybe she had?
It was hard to tell what was just the beer in her brain talking and what she was really feeling.
The truth was, right now, it didn't matter either way. She was with Austin. And Dylan was holding the hand of a girl who Zoe didn't recognize. She was probably a sophomore or maybe even a freshman. She was thin and blond. Her hair was too long and her skirt was too short. Zoe didn't necessarily
care
about any of those details, but they were impossible not to notice.
“You mind?” Austin finally managed to ask.
“No, sorry, buddy . . . ,” Dylan stammered before stepping back out into the hallway and closing the door behind him.
It was only after he was gone and Austin's tongue was back inside her mouth that Zoe realized Dylan had been stuck staring at her for all that time.
Now she was the one stuck
thinking
about him.
His eyes had been glassy and his cheeks were flushed, probably because he was drunk, but maybe from embarrassment, too. But either way, it didn't
really
matter. Zoe was kissing Austin. And Austin's hand was under her skirt. And anything else she had been thinking aboutâDylan or the awkwardness or his new girl of the momentâ
all of it
, was overshadowed by the way Austin's fingers felt inside of her.
It was exciting . . . and also scary.
But mostly Zoe just
liked
it.
And she liked that, too.
EMMA
was still the reigning champion of mixed emotions.
She liked hooking up with Nick, especially that second time in the darkroom, but she wasn't particularly excited about the idea of doing it again. Of course, Emma being Emma, she wasn't entirely sure
why
she wasn't excited, but she knew Nick was very excited, and for some reason that contrast wasn't exactly helping things between them. She wasn't cocky enough to think Nick was falling in love with her or anything, but it was clear that his feelings for her were stronger than her feelings for him. His initial friendly offer to “lend her his penis” had already been more than accomplished, but Nick still seemed to want more.
He was waiting for Emma at her locker when she got to school.
“Hi you,” he said, pulling her in for a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.
A public kiss, even just on the cheek, was a pretty bold move at any time of day, but
especially
at 7:55 a.m. on a Monday morning. It took a lot of self-control to keep Emma from wiping off her cheek. She turned down the hall, heading toward the yearbook room. Nick followed closely behind her, which wasn't really evidence of anything as much as a by-product of the fact that they had their first period class together. “What are you up to this weekend?” he asked eagerly. “'Cause it's . . . you know, Valentine's Day . . .”
“Oh yeah, I don't know,” Emma said, trying to stop him from asking anything else. “I don't usually make a big deal about that.”
“Me neither,” Nick said. “But I guess it's also, just, you know,
Saturday
, so if you want to hang out or whatever . . .” He said “hang out” as if he were putting quotations around the words. He might as well have just said,
If you want to have sex on Saturday, let me know.
Emma couldn't help but think that if he
had
actually just said that, she would've probably been down.
Nick stayed right on Emma's heels as she made her way to her computer station in the back of the yearbook room. Savannah was already seated at the computer beside hers. “All right, well, just let me know what you're thinking,” Nick said rather awkwardly.
“Sure, yeah.” Emma nodded. And then she made sure to smile at him. She knew Nick well enough to know that he needed a little positive reassurance from her before he would feel like it was all right to walk away.
Once he left, Savannah leaned in close. “He looooves you . . .”
“No. He doesn't. Not even close. He just . . . has a lot of expectations about the whole thing.”