Cherished: A Masters and Mercenaries Novella (21 page)

“Hey, Bridget, come here. I want to talk to you.”

She stopped at the bedroom door. “Not tonight.”

He put a hand on her arm lightly, turning her to face him. “Yes. Tonight.”

“Don’t push me.” She didn’t need to fight with him. She would say things she didn’t mean. He’d taken down all her walls and if he pushed her, she would fight dirty. “I don’t want to talk tonight.”

His face softened. “Sweetheart, it’s nothing bad. I want to talk to you about a longer-term contract. Look, I know the last few days have been rough on you, but you’ve come through it all with grace. You’ve been wonderful. I think we should consider signing a year-long contract.”

“Is that some treat for not being myself? I get to stay with you for a year?” Bitterness welled.

His brows came together in obvious consternation. “Bridget, that’s not what I meant. I don’t have a problem with who you are. You’re passionate. I like that about you. But you don’t have to fight every single person you meet. Especially not when the fight isn’t worth it.”

He was so reasonable. Unfortunately, she wasn’t in a reasonable mood. “So what you’re saying is if I’m a good sub who never yells or fights, you’ll like who I am. That’s great, Will.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.” His voice had taken on a soothing tone and that annoyed her.

“You really want to know?”

He sighed but didn’t back away. “I would like to know the truth and not whatever bullshit is about to come out of your mouth because you’re mad at your family and you’re ready to take it out on me. I’ll take some of it. I’m the one who set the rules about your behavior. If it helps, I can easily see why you would want to run through these people like a bull on stampede, but that won’t help your sister and then you’ll feel guilty. Why don’t you come here and let me hold you for a while? We can sit and talk.”

He wasn’t listening to a word she was saying. “I don’t want to talk. I wanted to go to bed. Now I kind of want to get everything over with.”

“Everything? That sounds a bit dramatic.”

Of course. She was a drama queen. She’d heard that one before. “God, you’re condescending sometimes.”

“I’ll admit to that. What’s this really about?”

It looked like they were going to have this out. He wouldn’t back down. He wouldn’t let her go to bed so she could talk herself into staying. She was in a corner and she did what she always did when she was in a corner. She lashed out. “You. It’s about you. You and your fucking contracts. I’m not signing another one. I’m not staying here with you. I’m leaving tomorrow night.”

His jaw tightened and he turned around, striding to the bar. “All right, we’ll go home if that’s what you want.”

Now he was purposefully misunderstanding her. “Without you. I’m leaving without you.”

His hands came out and he leaned on the bar, his head slumping down like he was too tired to hold it up a second longer. “Sweetheart, don’t do this. Don’t say a bunch of things you’ll have to take back later.”

Her first instinct was to go to him, to soothe him, but that would land her in more trouble. He was tempting, so tempting, but she had to be strong. “Because of course I don’t know what I’m doing. Because I should take what you’re willing to give me and be happy I have a man for a while.”

“That’s your family talking.” He was still using that reasonable tone that set her on edge. “They’re toxic, but we’ll be away from them soon.”

There was piece of her that knew he was right, but she was on a path now. She wanted to have it done so she could go back into her shell and never fucking come out again. “It doesn’t matter. Will, I can’t be with a man who is never going to love me. I know you don’t believe this, but at some point in time you’re going to find the woman you do love and I can’t watch that. I can’t just be some chick you spend time with until the real one comes along. I love you. I love you so much I ache with it. I love you so much I would do anything for you. I can’t stay with you when you don’t feel the same way.”

His hands became fists and he slammed them down on the bar, making the glasses jump. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Fine. I love you. I love you, Bridget. I’ll say it.”

She held her ground as he turned around, anger and frustration in his eyes. She was pissed off, too. “But you don’t mean it.”

He stalked toward her. “You only seem to give a shit about the words. It doesn’t matter to you that I’m willing to promise that I’ll be good to you and I’ll be faithful. All that matters is some words that anyone can say.”

Her whole body tensed. Now that she was in the moment, she didn’t want to be here, but it was something to be survived. She had to get through this so she could crawl into a cave and hide. “There is more to a relationship than being faithful, Will. There’s more to loving each other than duties and responsibilities. You can’t see that because you don’t want more from me. I’m not the woman for you. God, I wish I was but I’m not.”

“I have given you everything I have. I don’t know what more you want out of me. I don’t want to walk away. I don’t want any of this, and I damn sure don’t want to be the man who makes you cry. Tell me what you want me to do, Bridget.”

“I want you to go. I know it’s a horrible thing to do, but I want it to be over. I can’t do what you do. I can’t live in the moment. I can’t just be. I’m not wired like that.” How was she going to watch him walk away? She stared straight ahead. She didn’t have to look at him. She simply had to get through the next few moments and then she could cry.

“So I should walk away and not see you again?” He’d finally lost that reasonable tone and the question seemed wrenched from his throat.

She felt that he’d moved toward her, but she didn’t think she could look at him and stay strong. “I’m sure we’ll see each other, but we’ll know what our relationship is so it won’t hurt so much. I can move on.”

Maybe in a couple of decades she would. Until then she would lock herself away and write about him.

It struck her suddenly that she really loved him. She wasn’t going to murder him off in a book like she had the others. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d been good to her. He simply couldn’t love her. No. There would be no literary revenge waiting for him. She wanted him to be happy even if it was without her. He had so much to give.

He stepped around her and into the bedroom. Of course. His bag was in there. He would probably go and stay with Mitch for the night and then he would be gone, or maybe he would stay. Maybe he would take that vacation he needed so badly and find some other woman, one who wasn’t too emotional, too damaged, too ill-tempered. He would find her and fall in love and be happy. She would be content if he could be happy. He deserved it. He deserved someone whose family wouldn’t try to come after him. She had zero doubt that the next time her father needed something from her, he would hold the threat of ruining Will over her head again. He wouldn’t hesitate and if he got bored, he’d do it for fun.

But once Will was gone, he would be safe and he could find what he deserved. It was the best gift she could give him.

“I need to talk to you.” He seemed determined to make this harder than it had to be.

She shook her head, not turning to him because she could feel the tears slipping down her cheeks. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I have something to say.”

Damn it. She’d thought he would be somewhat graceful. He was always polite, even in difficult situations, but it looked like he wasn’t going to handle rejection well. Now he would tell her how stupid she was for dumping him, how she’d made a mistake and she would regret it. She would have to endure. She supposed he deserved his little revenge. It would even be good because then he wouldn’t be so perfect. He would be another guy who put her down when she wasn’t good enough for him. “Fine. Say what you have to say.”

Arms came around her and suddenly she was surrounded by him, by his warmth, his scent, his strength. “Don’t give up on me. Please, Bridget. I will figure this out. I’ll find a way to give you what you need because I don’t want to live without you. Please don’t give up on me.”

A sob threatened to tear from her chest. “I can’t.”

His arms tightened. “You can. You can tell me what’s wrong. No matter how bad it is, I’ll fix it.”

She broke down. She could be strong by herself. She could force herself to stand tall, but with Will’s arms around her, with his words in her ears, she couldn’t help but break, and once the flood gates opened, she let loose. Tears—she hadn’t known she’d had so many inside her—rushed out in great sobs. She wasn’t sure when he turned her or if she’d done it, but she found herself chest to chest with him, his big arms holding her tight like he’d never let her go.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Go ahead. You cry all you like. I won’t go anywhere. You understand me? You can’t make me leave you.”

She shook her head. “You need to.”

His hand came up, cradling her neck. “No. I need to be here with you.”

“I asked you to leave.” Everyone else had left. Naturally the one man she wanted to leave wouldn’t.

“And I’m sure it won’t be the last time, and you should know that I won’t. Not unless I am one-hundred-percent sure that it’s in your best interest. I won’t leave you. Even when you try to push me away. No one fights for you, do they?”

Her friends did, but it wasn’t the same. Her family had always been the fight. And she couldn’t bring him into that world because no matter how hard she tried to distance, they always came back. She took a deep breath and forced herself to step away. Well, she tried. His arms were a cage, keeping her close. “Will, you have to leave. You can’t stay.”

He kissed her forehead. “Of course I can. I’m the Dom, remember.”

“I’m not signing another stupid contract.”

“Then we’ll move on without one.”

“You asshole. You have to leave.”

“Give me one good reason.”

She was going to have to lay it out for him. He was so stubborn. She needed to put it to him in the harshest terms possible. “Because I can’t help my sister without hurting you. Because I’m resentful that my father can use you against me. I don’t want to be vulnerable to him. So I’m kicking you out of my life. Do you understand?”

His gentle smile stumped her. “So much better than you can imagine.”

She pushed away, and this time he let her have some distance. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’m not stupid. I know what you look like when you’re mad and you’re not mad, Bridget. You’re afraid. Your father dug up some crap on my past and he’s threatened you with it. What’s he planning on doing? Is he going to tell everyone my mother’s a meth head and that I grew up dirt poor? Won’t that shock the family?” He took a step toward her, his big body so reassuring she almost stepped back into his arms. “I don’t care what your family thinks of me. They can all go to hell for what I care. You’re the one who matters, and I know I can tell you anything and you’ll be okay with it. As for your sister, I think she can take care of herself. Something’s going on with her and Frankie. They’re planning something. I don’t know what.”

She didn’t really care what they were planning. What her father would do was all that mattered. “Okay, you don’t care what my family thinks. I don’t either. How about the hospital?”

He stopped for a moment and then nodded as though finally getting it. “Ah. So he threatened my job. Honey, I’m very good at my job. They’re not going to fire me.”

“My dad knows one of the board members. He’s going to tell him about Sanctum and about what happened with Starr. He’s going to tell them about your mom. He said no one would want a doctor with a history of addiction in his family.”

Will actually laughed at that one. “Sweetheart, there would be no doctors then. Or very few. Unless I have a problem myself or I start writing prescriptions for my relatives, there’s no issue. As for the BDSM stuff, they have no right to judge my sex life. If they do, Mitch will be happy to sue them and I would find a new job.”

“He’s going to ask his friends in the press to cover the Starr trial and make you look like an idiot.”

He considered that for a moment. “Will you stand beside me?”

“Yes, but that’s not the point.”

“It is the point,” Will said. “Let your father do his worst. Now let’s go to bed. In the morning if you still want to go home, I’ll make reservations. I would rather we stayed though. I think we can use the alone time. I found us a rental with a private pool. I’m going to keep you naked as much as possible.”

She shook her head. “No. No. Will, I can’t.”

He pulled her close, and she didn’t have the willpower to deny him. “You can. You can give me some time to sort this out. You can trust me to take care of you. If the worst happens, stay with me. I can handle a lot if you stay with me.”

She dissolved again. It had almost been a relief to have it over. Now she was back with no hope of getting out with some tiny piece of her heart intact. “You deserve more.”

He picked her up. God, did he know how good that felt? She suspected he knew how much she loved it when he picked her up and carried her around. “No. You deserve more, sweetheart. I’m going to figure it out. I promise. I’m going to figure out what you need.”

“I need you to be safe.”

He kissed her forehead as he started for the bedroom. “I’m safe. I’m good, Bridget. I want you to stop thinking for a minute. Just let us be tonight.”

That was what he always wanted. He wanted to just be and she needed a future. But as he carried her to the bed, she knew she couldn’t turn him away.

And when his body pressed hers into the soft comfort of the mattress, she finally stopped thinking and let herself feel, feel safe and cherished.

Even if it was only for the moment.

* * * *

Deep in the night, Will rolled cautiously out of bed. He dressed and as quietly as he could, he walked out into the living area of their suite.

It had been a close thing tonight. He’d almost lost her and he wasn’t an idiot. That hadn’t been all about her father. She was scared and sad. He’d done that to her.

He didn’t know how to explain it to her. He was being stubborn and he’d put himself in a corner. She wouldn’t believe him if he simply said the words. They didn’t mean anything to him, but they seemed to mean the world to her. If he’d said them back to her at the beginning, they wouldn’t be in this place.