CHERISH (81 page)

My teeth set into the curve of her neck as I let myself go. My own roar meeting with the last of her broken cries as her body quivers around me. We are slick with sweat, our chests rising and falling in unison as our bodies stay locked together, neither of us aware of anything besides the connection of two people made one.

“I love you, babe. More every day.” I kiss where my mark is rising on her neck and realize it will be a turtle neck day for her yet again.

“Hmmm, thank you, Daddy. I love you too.”

My heart swells. She started that shit on her own, but it’s perfect. One night she let out with the “Daddy” while I worked her ass over my knee. She sent my dick into fucking orbit with that, and it’s become just another beautiful part of who we are.

“You ready for today?” I ask, holding my lips just under her jaw where I love to feel her pulse.

“If you’re there with me, I’m ready for anything.”

“Good girl. You know I’ll be right there.”

“Are you sure?” Promise is holding the pen, looking to me for reassurance.

“Yeah, babe. He’s the only person in the world I trust. Sign it.” I kiss the top of her head and watch her pull her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Okay. I’ve fought for so long. I just want what’s best for him, but to be honest, I am selfish. I want him all to myself, too.”

After the DNA test had shown that Louis was Jordan’s father, it took us all a few days to wrap our heads around our new world view. But, when the dust settled, we all sat down and hammered out a custody agreement giving Promise partial custody and Louis primary custody.

Jordan took to Louis like I knew he would, but it’ll be a while before they form a permanent bond, and it’s clear that Louis is up for the challenge of being a dad. From the moment I saw him with Jordan, there was something about Louis that was new. More intense than I’d ever seen before.

Our friendship has grown over the years, but this experience has made me realize that my life with Louis has almost always been about me. Most of his life has been a mystery. He did tell me once why he became a court liaison. His own father abandoned him when he was six, back in Cairo where he’s from. There’s so CPS there, so he lived on the streets. He told me bits and pieces about his life over the years, and it was an entirely different sort of hell than I had. I don’t know how a kid can go through some of the things he did and come out the other end as normal as Louis.

“I know, it’s hard. But I can’t say enough good things about Louis. I’ve never doubted him, and you know, I’ve got that thing.” I bounce my eyebrows up and down a few times until she gives me the you’re-an-idiot eye roll.

“Maybe we can just re-think the primary custody part.” Promise looks anxious, and I understand.

“The law is on his side on that one.” Dennis Archibald, Promise’s attorney, chimes in from behind his desk. He’s been making sure all the t’s are crossed and the i’s dotted.

I rub her shoulder. “Louis said you can have visitation whenever you want. More than the agreement. It’ll be okay, babe.” I rub my hand down her back and feel the tension in her muscles. “A lot has happened, but Louis will not let you down, I promise. And, Jordan needs a father. His real father, Promise. This is
good
for him. You asked him if this is what he wanted, and he said yes.”

With a shaking hand, she signs and says a little pray that Louis is in this for the long haul. We’ve got an hour to get to the courthouse, and I know my girl is tired.

Two hours ago, we sat in a different attorney’s office with me holding her hand while she gave her deposition on all-things-Jeremy. He’s out on bail, but from the looks of things, he’s got a future in front of him in a state prison.

Now, we are back, sitting in the same courtroom where it all started. We are here to celebrate. It’s all just paperwork, but I can feel how nervous she is. We picked up Jordan from Louis’s place on our way here.

The small, blond boy can’t stop smiling as he sits next to his attorney at the table in the front of the courtroom. Louis is sitting next to him, and they take turns glancing behind at us, then at each other.”

Next it’s “all rise” as a stern looking, middle-aged, African American woman strides into the courtroom in her black robe. Taking her seat, she picks up the folder in front of her.

“From what I see, all parties are in agreement regarding the guardianship and adoption of a one Jordan Anthony Henderson. Custody will be in the primary hands of Louis Spicer and shared custody and visitation with r, Ms. Henderson. Is this correct, Counsel?”

An attorney at the opposite table stands.

“Yes, Your Honor. The State of Ohio and the Department of Children and Family Services has no objections. Louis Henderson is the biological father of Jordan Henderson and has negotiated the custody agreement with Jordan’s sister, Ms. Promise Henderson.”

“Very well. Custody agreement is acknowledged and approved. Young man,” she winks at Jordan, “I wish you well.” The judge smiles and scratches her signature on the stack of papers in front of her. “This case is closed.”

Promise’s shoulders are shaking under my arm, and Jordan looks around. His blue eyes land on my girl.

My umbrella of protective instinct covers them both, and the debts of the past feel paid.

I’ve learned how to pray in the last few months, and from what I can tell, I think God and I have finally called a truce.

Promise

I love how his hand feels, the way his fingers spread mine when they intertwine, and he pulls the back of my hand to his lips. I close my eyes and let the moment wash over me.

“You ready?” Beckett’s lips lift from my hand just long enough to say those two words, and then their warmth is back in place, holding my left hand to his mouth.

“Ready.” Did my voice just shake? My legs are shaking, but I think that is from the morning workout Beckett gave me back at Louis’s guest house where we’ve been staying.

The church is nothing special to most people. I’d seen pictures of these small churches in magazines before. You know, the ones that are sitting out by themselves on a dirt road surrounded by cornfields and not much else. Chipped white paint and a tall steeple.

When Beckett asked me what kind of wedding I wanted, it was one of these churches that came to mind. He spent the next few days driving me all over God’s creation trying to find the perfect place. He succeeded.

Other than the church, all I wanted was him, Jordan and for our life to start.

And Louis.

He’s part of my life now, too. Since the adoption went through, Jordan has been staying with Louis, but Beckett and I stay at the guesthouse on the days that are mine so we can all bond as an unconventional family. It’s only been a week, and Beckett and I need to figure out where we’re going to live permanently. But for now, this is perfect.

Deep breath and Beckett is gently pulling me into him. I listen as the willow tree’s leaves catch in the wind and sound like a thousand tiny pieces of paper tearing. We walk in step, our feet crunching on the dusty path from where we parked. We climb the twelve steps to the faded blue doors of the church. The breeze is warm for April, clouds roll over the sun as it grabs the shadows and texture of Beckett’s face, and I feel unsteady but happier than I’ve ever been.

“Okay, babe. This is where I leave you.” Beckett pauses in front of the doors.

“I’m not ready. Just let’s go inside together.”

“Okay, babe. It’s your day. We do things your way.”

He swings open the worn, wooden door, and it creeks with the motion.

Inside, the church smells of vanilla and lavender along with a hint of the old wood scent that comes from the hundred-year-old planks and benches. There are a hundred white candles flickering on the alter and vases overflowing with fresh flowers on every flat surface.

“Did you do this?” He’s got a romantic streak as big as his heart.

“Why, do you like it?”

“I love it.” I shove my shoulder into the side of him.

“Good. Then yes, I did. Well, I paid a nice lady from the flower shop to do it.”

Beckett kisses the top of my head, and I hear the snorting laughter of my stand-in father come from somewhere in the back corner of the church.

“Lord, this place is in the middle of nowhere. I think I saw a kid playing a banjo on that last turn from dirt road A to dirt road B. I may never get my truck clean.” Bruce pushes his glasses up his nose with a smile and points a half-eaten pretzel at me.

“
Stop
. God, you’re a princess, you know that? No wonder you keep chasing away any decent boyfriend material.”

“Good to see you.” Beckett nods at Bruce. “Thanks for taking care of my girl today.”

Bruce waves a hand in the air.

“She’s as close as I will ever get to having my own daughter.” He fiddles with the white rose stuck in his lapel with a sniff.

“You never know what life has in store. Trust me on that one.” Beckett looks down at me, and I can feel his heart beating under the hand I place on the front of his suit jacket.

“Whatever.” Bruce waves his hand at us. “I just want to be sure you two get on with things and she gets the rest of her shit out of my apartment. Besides, it’s a short aisle, thank Christ. I wasn’t doing anything else today.” He looks at me with a wink.

A burst of sunlight streaks in the door and my heart is already in my throat before I hear his voice.

“Ahhh!” Jordan’s excited squeal enters first. “Wow! You look pretty.”

I turn, and Jordan’s eyes widen. He stuffs his hands down into his dark suit pants as he stares me up and down, then looks at Beckett with a sheepish grin.

He looks like a little man. All dapper and smiling. His cheeks are turning red, and I realize he has never seen me this dressed up.

Beckett had said I could spend as much as I wanted on my dress, but I had wanted to pay for it myself, a declaration that Beckett steadfastly ignored. Instead, he charmed his way into the bridal salon and made the staff swear on a stack of Bibles that they would not let me pay or even tell me the price of anything. After giving them his credit card and me a smack on my ass, he disappeared out the front door of the shop, leaving a bevy of happily shocked, young women in his wake.

I ended up choosing a dress that most people wouldn’t look at twice. It took Rachel and Marsha, my two personal bridal consultants, over an hour to dig one out that fit the description of what I wanted. They said these were popular back in the 1980’s. It’s got a high neck of ivory, gauze-like fabric with eyelet lace around the edges and hems. If I wasn’t wearing a slip, you would see right though. But it fit with my dream of this little white church, breeze blowing and the dandelions dotting the lawn with yellow winks.

“Hey! Everyone ready for the big day?” Louis comes in behind Jordan, pulling off his black Oakley’s and brushing a hand through his dark hair.

“What’s big about it?” Bruce chimes in. “It’s us and the judge.”

“Well, what my girl wants, my girl gets. She wanted small, and I wanted fast. So, here we are.”

“The judge is getting out of his car. He pulled in right behind us.” Louis smiles at Beckett and sets a hand on his shoulder, and I see him give a little squeeze. “So we better get in place.” He drops his hand from Beckett and sets it on top of Jordan’s head, messing his hair.

“Hey, stop!” Jordan swats his hand away, and I have to shake my head because so much has happened so fast. So many good things have come in such a short time; I almost pinch myself making sure I’m not dreaming.

“Are you excited about Disney World?” I smile at Jordan as he flattens his hair.

“Yeah. We’re staying in a huge suite at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. You look out your room, and there are giraffes and other animals
right there
. It’s going to be
so cool
.”

“Yep. We leave at ten tomorrow.” Louis pulls his shoulders back and grins at me.

“You take good care of him. He’s never been out of Cleveland. Neither of us.” I playfully poke Louis in the chest, and I notice his eyes narrow just a bit.

“We’re out of Cleveland right
now
.” Jordan’s corrects me the way only an eleven-year-old can.