Chenxi and the Foreigner (17 page)

She was desperate to see him again. If only she hadn't been so spoilt and naïve! She would prove to him that she wasn't merely an ignorant foreigner. She could learn. The adage was true: the more you know, the more you realise you don't know. Chenxi had so much to teach her. If only she had been willing to learn, been less narrow-minded and obstinate…She still had time to make up for it. Her father was offering her that time. Giving up her art to study alongside that pompous Laurent was only a small sacrifice to make for being with Chenxi. This was meant to be. The problem had been resolved of its own accord. Once again, Anna had been able to leave the decision in the hands of fate.

‘Dad, I've decided to take up your offer to drop art and stay on for a year in Shanghai to study Chinese. I think you are right. It would be a great learning opportunity for me.'

Mr White almost choked. ‘Well, Anna! I am happy! I must say I thought I'd be having to make up your mind for you again. Well, dear. That's wonderful news! I'll look into organising it straight away. I'm sure our friend Laurent will be able to help.'

Anna picked at her pasta. Mr White ordered another bottle of wine from the clean-eared waiter.

23

Anna and her father went by taxi to the art college next morning. Keen to get his daughter back on the right track, he insisted on arranging everything straight away. Before she could change her mind, Mr White fixed things up with the disappointed principal, who had been hoping Anna might have stayed longer. Her special foreigner's school fees had already bought him a colour television.

‘She no like our college? Chenxi not good translator?'

While Mr White wrote him a consoling cheque for the remaining amount due, Anna went to her classroom to retrieve her ‘Four Treasures' and speak to Chenxi.

To her dismay, he was not there. Anna gazed longingly at his desk, as if she could make him materialise just by visualising him. As she rolled her brushes into their straw mat, she tried to catch Lao Li's attention to ask where he was. Strangely, none of the students had looked up from their work as Anna walked in.

‘Psst! Psst! Lao Li!' she whispered.

The teacher was watching them. Lao Li glanced over. He shook his head, pleading with his eyes for her not to draw attention to him.

Anna wrapped her inkstone in newspaper and placed it in her backpack, stalling for time. From the corridor echoed the booming voice of her father, and the whining of the principal's secretary. Their heads appeared in the doorway.

‘Come on Anna,' Mr White said briskly. ‘The taxi's waiting downstairs!'

Anna swung her bag on her back and walked towards her father. As she reached the door she glanced back at Lao Li. He made a furtive gesture of eating noodles before bowing his head again. Anna, relieved, turned to walk out of the classroom.

Anna and her father crossed Suzhou Creek in the taxi, heading towards the university where she would begin her study of Chinese. As they wound up their windows Anna looked out at the houseboats clustered like open sores under the bridge. A child smeared in soot stared up at the taxi, before he scampered off along the slimy riverbank.

Anna imagined the days ahead, crossing back over this bridge to meet Chenxi, learning to speak enough Mandarin at the university to become independent. Her growing reliance on Laurent as her guide and translator was something she was desperate to get rid of. He was already more interested in her than was comfortable, yet she still needed him too much to ditch him. She reassured herself that he was only interested in her because her father offered him good business opportunities in China, and Mr White loved Laurent because he kept his daughter in line. So, it was a plan that worked for everyone, wasn't it? Anna clutched her backpack on her lap and conjured up a vision of Chenxi.

After they had filled in forms and Mr White had paid the deposit, the principal showed Anna how to find the beginners' class and invited her to come along the next day to a special Saturday morning class. He explained that she had already missed a few weeks and would have quite a lot of catching up to do. Mr White looked concerned and Anna promised them both she would study hard. And she would. She had no intention of learning Mandarin to do business in China, but rather to escape the shackles of Laurent and find her way to Chenxi.

When she peeked into the classroom, Anna was surprised to see so many Africans, Japanese and Indians. She had forgotten during her stay in China that foreigners came in colours other than white. The principal introduced Anna to the teacher and they walked on.

‘Will you be staying here at the university?' the principal asked Anna. ‘Or with your father?'

‘At the university.'

‘With my father.'

They both answered at once.

Mr White looked quizzical.

‘I could study so much better in your apartment, Dad,' Anna explained. ‘Laurent told me that here at the university they never stop having parties!' Anna didn't like the idea of living in the same building as Laurent and she knew it would be easier to see Chenxi in private if she didn't have to share a dormitory with another student.

‘It's true!' the principal shook his head. ‘This year's students seem to be particularly rowdy.'

Mr White pondered. ‘Well. OK. We'll see how it goes.' It unnerved him when his plans weren't followed to the letter. ‘Well, it looks like that's all settled now so I'd better get to work. I've arranged for Anna to meet the French student, Laurent, for lunch,' he explained to the principal. ‘It is good she has made some friends,' the principal nodded. ‘I know Laurent. His Mandarin is excellent.'

The principal shook hands with Mr White and excused himself. Anna and her father walked out of the school buildings to where the taxi was waiting at the front entrance.

‘Well, shall we get your bike out of the boot then? You sure you're all right to ride back on your own? You'll know the way?' said Mr White.

‘Yes, Dad. We're only over the bridge from the art college. I've ridden this way every day for the last four weeks!'

Mr White pressed some F.E.C. into Anna's palm. ‘Just in case. OK. I'll see you tonight then, dear.'

‘I'll be fine, Dad,' said Anna guiding him towards the car door.

She watched the taxi ease into the flow of traffic and then walked her bike back to the entrance of the university to wait for Laurent. She didn't have to wait long. He wheeled his bike around the corner and, when he saw Anna, he grinned and waved.

‘Hey! Thought I might take you somewhere nice for lunch instead of that greasy old noodle stall?'

Anna panicked, remembering her plan to meet Lao Li. ‘No, no, we have to go to the noodle shop.'

‘Why?' Laurent frowned.

‘I want to. I really feel like noodles. Come on. Please?' She felt embarrassed to watch him soften under her pleading. He agreed and they rode their bikes back over the bridge.

Minutes later, they sat opposite each other at one of the grubby tables in the crowded restaurant. Anna had let Laurent try to be gallant: he ordered and paid for her food. They now sat in silence while the boiling soup cooled. Anna watched the entrance behind him for any sign of Lao Li.

‘It's great news that you will be studying with me at the university,' Laurent began.

‘Don't get the wrong idea, Laurent.' Anna scowled. ‘I'm not doing it to be with you!' She gobbled her noodles, hoping to make herself as unattractive as possible. After chewing on a gristly piece of dried meat she cleared her throat and spat it to the floor.

Laurent rolled his eyes. ‘Picking up Chinese habits quickly, aren't you?'

Anna looked up and saw Lao Li edging his way in. She beckoned him over. There were no stools left so he crouched at the table. Anna saw his eyes flit back and forth as Laurent and he shook hands. Lao Li spoke to Laurent in Chinese and, a moment later, stood and left the shop.

‘What did he say?' Anna said to Laurent. ‘Did he talk to you about Chenxi?'

Laurent sneered. ‘So, that's why you wanted to come here? I'm your messenger boy now, am I? Well, Lao Li said to tell you that Chenxi has gone into hiding. He said you mustn't try to make contact with him. Chenxi is in trouble with the police. They know Lao Li is Chenxi's friend so you must stay away from him, or he'll be in trouble, too!' He leaned back on his stool. ‘Ha! I told you, didn't I?'

Anna pushed her bowl of noodles away. She wanted to be sick. She glared at Laurent. ‘If you're lying, or even exaggerating, you bastard, I'll kill you!'

‘Would I lie to you?' Laurent mocked.

‘Fuck off!' snapped Anna. Her mind was a whirr. The stench of the noodle shop was too much for her. She jumped up from the table and charged outside.

‘See you at school!' Laurent called out in a singsong voice.

She despised him.

Anna rode fast. She pushed down hard on the pedals until her muscles ached and her forehead streamed with sweat. Inside she screamed. She rode faster, faster, until in a flash the bike slid out from under her and she found herself skidding along the bitumen. The heat seared through her skin to the bone. She lay still. The roar of the traffic came from far away.

‘
Ooh, wai guo ren!
' said a gentle voice. Anna looked up. Around her, in minutes, a circle of people had formed, maybe fifty of them. All staring down open-mouthed at the blood and gravel that clung to Anna's knees.

‘You see!' Anna screamed at them, salty tears stinging the wound on her chin. ‘Foreigners bleed, too!'

24

Too stiff and sore even to walk, Anna lay in bed for a week, grappling with the Chinese exercises her new teacher had sent home for her. Another week slipped by but she refused to leave the apartment. The wounds were healing, she had no broken bones, but she would not look in the mirror for fear of the scabs she would see.

By the third week, the wounds had softened into buckled pink scars. The face in the mirror reflected only shades of yellow and grey. She could have gone to the university, but now she felt sick. Nauseous. Most mornings she woke up with a roaring appetite but, after a bowl of cereal, promptly threw it up. Anna tried to tell herself it was a tummy bug, but when her breasts began to ache, and her period was two weeks overdue, she began to worry. Could she be pregnant? She cursed herself for having taken a risk, but she thought it had only been days after her period had finished. Perhaps she had got the dates wrong?

She had to find out, but there was nothing in her useless Chinese text books about pregnancy tests or abortions. She wouldn't know how to find her way to a hospital, let alone understand what they were saying to her.

Several times she had tried ringing the art college to see if Chenxi had returned but they were always elusive and Lao Li would never come to the phone. If only she could speak to Chenxi. This wasn't something she should be doing on her own. After all, he was the father. Father! The idea of it panicked and thrilled her. Would he want to be a father? More importantly, did she want to be a mother? At eighteen!

She thought about the words of the old fortune teller at Fuxing Park. Had he been right? Was this her destiny? She lay back on the bed and poked at her belly. Was something really growing in there? The possibility was terrifying. She thought of calling a friend back home, but her old school friends seemed a world away now and, to be honest, she didn't really want them knowing. Two girls at her school had fallen pregnant that she knew of and, even though both had chosen a different outcome, their reputations had been equally tarnished.

She didn't want to worry her mother before she knew for sure. And there was no way she was telling her father.

Besides, it was still possible that it might all be in her head. There was only one person she knew in Shanghai who could help her. Picking up the telephone, she dialled the university and waited while they searched for Laurent at the other end. The thought of asking him for help made her skin crawl, but she had no choice. And, if she was pregnant, she had to make a decision right away.

‘You took your time,' Anna snapped when Laurent arrived at the apartment. ‘Come on, let's go. My father will be home after lunch.'

‘Well, it looks like my warnings about not getting involved with Chenxi came too late,' Laurent smiled as they got into the lift. ‘Assuming that Chenxi is the man involved here?'

Anna fumed. She had guessed she was going to have to put up with a fair amount of crap, but had hoped that he might find a grain of empathy for her situation. ‘Do you think you could avoid lecturing me just for today?' she sighed. ‘I asked for help, not advice, OK? And, really, this has nothing to do with you.'

‘You might not even be pregnant, you know,' Laurent suggested.

‘Look, I may only be a woman,' said Anna, ‘but as a woman give me credit for having expertise in at least one area that you don't!'

The lift doors opened and Anna walked out first. ‘Ooh, pregnancy doesn't suit you!' Laurent murmured into her back.

In angry silence they rode their bikes side by side all the way to the Shanghai Number One Women's Hospital.

At the entrance Laurent grabbed Anna's hand for a moment. ‘Please, Anna,' he said.

She turned around to face him.

‘Don't decide anything today, will you? I mean about an abortion, if that's what you want.' He looked away, reddening. ‘I had a Spanish girlfriend two years ago who got pregnant. She had an abortion here and they really messed her up. Not just physically but emotionally too. She can't have babies any more. It's the one-child policy thing. The doctors are just taught to take everything out to stop women falling pregnant again. I wouldn't want that to happen to you. It would be better to get it done in Australia. Just go for a test here. Find out how far along you are. Pretend to them you want to keep the baby. Just for today, OK? You can always come back later if you change your mind.'