Checking It Twice (25 page)

“That’s exactly why we need to prove to Kev that there’s nothing wrong with his desires. That it’s okay for him to be who
he
is, and that constantly shutting everyone out isn’t the answer.”

She nodded. “I want to be there for him. Whatever it takes.”

Nick glanced in Kevin’s direction before looking her straight in the eye. “I have an idea. It’d push his boundaries though. Hard. But I think it’s the needed shove to get him to face his demons.” Grazing her skin lightly, Nick smoothed back her hair and kissed her temple before whispering his plan to her. She took it all in, her pulse accelerating.

“It’s a big, risky step,” Nick admitted. “I need to know that you’re ready for this.”

She licked her lips, nervous adrenaline making her head spin. “Absolutely.”

The remaining two hours that it took to wind up the party were a study in agonizing anticipation for Jana. When she, Nick and Kevin finally piled into the car, butterflies dive-bombed in her belly. She hoped to hell Nick knew what he was doing with this plan of his.

Not that she wasn’t looking forward to it. A lot.

The backseat’s leather upholstery gave a creaking protest as they flew past the exit for the Cineplex. “I take it we’re still not doing a movie,” Kevin said dryly.

Nick hit the wipers, dispersing the dusting of flakes from the windshield. “Nope.”

“So what are we doing?”

“Jana and I have a going-away gift for you.”

Weighty silence shrouded the backseat. Several seconds passed before Kevin cleared his throat. “You didn’t have to go to the trouble.”

“Yeah. We do.” There was a tight edge to Nick’s voice.

The tension inside the vehicle was palpable. It tripled in intensity the moment Nick pulled into Club Arabesque’s lot. Jittery and lightheaded, she waited as Nick killed the engine and strode to her door. Kevin was much slower at leaving the car. Despite the curious look he pinned her and Nick with, there was no mistaking the heat brewing in his eyes. In this respect, he wasn’t reluctant to expose his desire. Then again, he didn’t know what she and Nick had in store for him.

She sent up another silent prayer that Nick was right about this being what Kevin needed.

As if he’d read her uncertainty, Nick slipped his hand in hers and squeezed. Kevin fell in step beside them as their trio worked their way to the club’s front entrance. Once inside, they checked their coats and Kevin began to inquire about reserving a private room.

The attendant reached for the occupancy ledger, and Nick shook his head. “That won’t be necessary.”

Kevin frowned. “I thought we’re here to play.”

“We are. But we’re doing something a little different this time.”

Wariness settled on Kevin’s features. “What?”

Without replying, Nick glanced at the attendant. “Can we have three towels for the steam room?”

While the man disappeared into the closet behind him, Kevin’s agitation percolated. Clearly he was starting to form a picture of where the situation was headed, and panic was edging past his lust. She shot a worried glance at Nick. Pulling her close, he pressed his lips to her ear. “Stand united.”

She exhaled, struggling to relax. The attendant appeared with the towels. Nick divvied them out before tucking her against his side and heading down the hall. Risking a peek over her shoulder, she caught the glare Kevin had pinned to the back of Nick’s skull. He remained rooted in place, his muscles rigid as he battled the private war waging inside him. Nick was right about one thing—Kevin truly did think that his desires were something to be ashamed of. Knowing that only made her ache more for him. Swallowing, she returned her focus to the winding hallway ahead of them. “He’s not coming. He won’t be able to do this.”

“He’ll give in. Pouting all night in the hallway won’t get him what he wants—
you
.”

“You’re putting a ton of faith in his desire for me.”

“Sweetness, that’s one thing I have zero doubt about.”

They arrived at a set of double glass doors clouded with condensation. Nick pushed the handle and escorted her into the enormous steam room. The humid space was already occupied with a dozen or so people. A few were making out on the various benches. Others had spread their towels on the cedar floor planks and were going to town there. Breath hitching, she eyed the tattooed guy across the way who was busy devouring his partner’s pussy.

Nick’s fingers swept her nape. “It’s sexy to watch, isn’t it?”

“Y-yes. No wonder Kevin is turned on by it.”

As if she’d summoned him, one of the glass doors swung inward and Kevin stepped into the room. Their gazes locked, and a melody of joy and excitement trilled within her. It was still uncertain whether he’d completely go along with this, but just being there with them was a huge step in the right direction.

Nick set their towels aside and eased her sweater over her head before unhooking her bra and sliding the straps from her arms. The instant her breasts were bared, he knelt and sucked a pebbled nipple into his mouth, his dexterous fingers slipping the buttons free on her pants. Gliding his hands inside, he palmed her ass cheeks, using his forearms to coax her jeans down her legs. He stopped his worshiping of her breast and helped her from her boots.

It was strange and arousing to be nude in front of complete strangers. There wasn’t a centimeter of her body shielded from their lusty gazes, but it was Kevin’s ravenous stare that made her pussy weep most. Trembling, she silently beseeched him to stay. To join in their pleasure, and not be ashamed anymore by his desires.

The sound of clothes rustling drew her focus to Nick as he shrugged from his shirt, his sleek, gorgeous shoulders flexing. His trousers and briefs came off next and landed in a neat pile on top of her discarded garments. The sight of his cock—long, thick and breath-stealingly erect—coaxed even more wetness between her legs. Taking her hand, he stretched her out on the towels he’d arranged on the floor. Fingers a maddening torment, he caressed the quivering valley of her abdomen, causing her spine to arch. He moved lower and stroked the insides of her thighs, his touch persuasive. A hot, delicious breath whispered over her labia, seconds before his tongue rasped along her clit.

She shuddered, already overwhelmingly close to coming. Swirl, suck, swirl. Panting, she writhed on the towel. A shadow fell across her, and she looked up into Kevin’s hot stare. She reached for him, and he automatically dropped to his knees next to her. His palm curved around her breast as his mouth crashed over hers. Whimpering, she tugged at his belt, desperation bringing a frustrating clumsiness to her fingers. His features strained, Kevin closed his hand over hers, his dark, tortured gaze sweeping the nearby couples.

She cupped his jaw. “It’s okay. No one here will judge you.” Keeping his focus locked with hers, she freed his belt buckle. His hand relaxed enough to allow her to unzip his pants. Closing his eyes, he dragged in a ragged breath, the tension on his face and held within every muscle in his body unrelenting.

His tongue abandoning her slit, Nick offered a nod. It was all the encouragement she needed. Easing Kevin’s pants and boxers over his hips, she freed his raging erection. She leaned forward and sucked his cockhead past her lips, making love to his shaft with slow, seductive swallows. A groan rumbled from Kevin’s chest, his thigh tensing beneath her fingers.

“You’ve got him, sweetness. Keep him right there, on the edge.” Nick’s hands spanned her waist, lifting her onto her knees. Grazing his nails down her back, he widened her stance, his condom-sheathed cock nudging her slick entrance from behind. Relaxing her throat, she took Kevin deeper, her moan a delirious vibration as Nick entered her in one smooth thrust.

Harsh breaths panted from Kevin, accelerating in tempo with each pump of Nick’s cock inside her. Dizzy from the pleasure cresting with her, she bowed her back, rocking desperately on Nick while she greedily sucked Kevin’s swelling cock. The muscles in his abdomen quivered before becoming rock hard as he tensed. His hands trembled on her scalp, seconds before he throbbed on her tongue and came with a shuddery groan. She pulled back enough to look up at him. His eyes were screwed shut, but the intense ecstasy riding his face was enough to hurtle her into the tidal wave with him. A second later, Nick lodged deep inside her and came with his own broken groan.

Tears streaming down her cheeks, she slumped between both men, her emotions frayed. If there’d been any doubt that Nick and Kevin owned her heart, what they’d just shared had confirmed it. They turned her inside out in a way no other men could ever do.

She just prayed with everything inside her that she and Nick had managed to exorcise whatever demons haunted Kevin.

Chapter Twenty

Whoever decided Blue Monday was reserved for the last part of January clearly hadn’t been inside Kevin’s head lately. It’d been over a week since his going-away party, and the earth-shattering experience in the club’s steam room. He’d officially turned in his keys and said his final goodbyes last night. Over the past couple of days, he, Nick and Jana had spent a lot of time at her place. It’d been a not-so-unconscious decision to shield her from the depressing sight of the moving boxes piled in his living room.

But now here he was, faced with not only the packing ahead of him and the long, lonely drive to Vegas, but also the heavy weight of his choices. God knows he’d made some terrible ones in his life. He was a damn pro at it. Still, the heartache he was putting Jana through was the worst of them all. Even running out on Heather and Nick didn’t come close to comparing to this.

He frowned as he mulled over that thought. Jesus. Was this somehow comparable to that previous dickhead maneuver? Yeah, he’d accepted the job at the Cinders before getting involved in this complicated relationship with Jana and Nick. He’d sure as hell tried his damnedest to resist going down that slippery slope with them. But if that absolved him of any guilt, he didn’t feel it. Not hardly.

On top of that, he was still reeling from what happened in the steam room. Letting down his guard enough to expose a side of himself that he fought so hard to resist…it was unsettling. Watching others have sex came easier for him. He could still have the distance. Somewhat lock down his emotions. But with all those eyes on him…

A rap at his door announced Nick’s arrival. Breaking from his disturbed thoughts, Kevin crossed to the entry and freed the deadbolt. Nick stepped inside, his jaw tight as he surveyed the evidence of Kevin’s packing. “Don’t fucking do this.”

He’d heard those same words from Nick countless times over the past week. “If you’re going to give me a hard time, you can leave now. I’ll pack everything myself.” Pivoting, he stalked into the kitchen and began clearing out the cupboards.

“She loves you, and you’re going to just walk away.”

Kevin winced, not at the tight fury in Nick’s tone—God knows he deserved that—but because Nick was right.

“You think I don’t know why you’re running scared?” Nick demanded.

“Dammit, I’m not—”

Nick cut him off with a fierce glare. “You are. It happens every fucking time you start to get too close to someone. You figure you’ll check out first before they hurt you, fuck you over. Abandon you.”

Queasiness pitched in Kevin’s stomach. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I don’t care. You
need
to talk about it, Kev. It’s not good to keep it all inside you.”

Without warning, his father’s stern, commanding voice whipped through him.
Real men don’t cry or get emotional. Only weaklings and pansies. Fucking man up.

“Jana isn’t your mother. She’s not going to run away one day and drop off the face of the Earth.”

The nausea sloshing in his belly intensified. “I told you I don’t want to discuss this.”

“She’s also not Madison.”

Fury momentarily nosing its way to the forefront, he glared at Nick. “Goddamn it—”

“Never saying her name isn’t going to solve anything, Kev. You can’t just bury what happened. You’ll never heal that way.”

“What good will it do to talk about it? I fucked my stepmother, Nick. Do you know how wrong that is? Jesus. I can’t erase that.”

A soft scuff drew his attention to the kitchen entry and Jana standing there. A hot wave of shame and embarrassment hit him dead center in the chest, and his stomach rolled. Her gaze held no judgment, maybe a hint of shock, but that was to be expected. “I—I’m sorry. I knocked first, but I guess you didn’t hear me.”

He swallowed, words failing him. He just wished that’d been the case a minute ago. Then he wouldn’t be standing here feeling naked and exposed.

Jana stepped toward him, her eyes soft and beseeching. “Nick’s right. It’s not good to hold things in. Whatever…happened with your stepmother…well, obviously it’s something you haven’t let go of, and it’s hurting you.” She took his hand and kissed his fingertips before cradling his palm against her heart. “I don’t want you to hurt anymore. Please talk to me.”

He stared at their joined hands, then the floor. Maybe if he didn’t look her in the eye, it would be easier. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can. I would never judge you.”

His heart pounded. He’d lived most of his life feeling judged by those who had the power to hurt him most. It was difficult to get past the shame and guilt that’d been his constant companions for so many years. Queasiness roiling in his gut, he stared at Jana. She needed to hear this. Needed to know the ugly truth about him. Then she’d be able to decide if she could continue to not judge him.