Cheating Time (35 page)

It may have been the middle of the night
when Barone arrived, and I may have been exhausted beyond belief,
but I couldn't sleep.
I wouldn't
sleep.

For the first time in my life, I understood
perfectly what it meant to have to sleep with one eye open. There
was no one I could trust. Jayden had already proved that to me.
Then I thought about what Rorie had said about Barone and Thorne
talking.

What could they possibly
have to talk about?

I was learning life lessons the hard way.
Nothing about my thinking was as benign as a simple case of
paranoia. Something was wrong, and there were lots of pieces to the
puzzle that I hadn't put together.
Yet.

As soon as the sun's rays began beaming
through the tent's flap, I heard Thorne gently waking Rorie. The
morning's routine was the same as it had been the day before. Since
I'd promised to help Rorie while I was here, I sat up on the edge
of my cot.

The days of hiking, snake bite recovery, and
discoveries were taking their toll on me. My head throbbed, my
muscles ached, and, yes, after checking, I found my heart was still
broken.

"Rorie's going to the kitchen by herself
today, Carles. You and I need to talk before you leave," he said
after Rorie was up and her bonnet—the one she'd not been wearing
yesterday—was fastened tightly around her face.

I glared at Thorne as if he'd lost his mind.
"She needs to stay here with you. I'll go over and make something.
It might not be edible, but I'm not sure anyone at this camp, with
the exception of Rorie, deserves anything edible. Poisonous maybe.
Not edible," I said with every ounce of cynicism I felt.

"Are you kidding me? If Barone found out you
were helping Rorie in the kitchen, he'd be livid." He turned back
toward his sister. "Rorie, I'll come check on you as soon as I can.
I want you to stay in the kitchen as much as possible," he
ordered.

She nodded and ducked out of the tent
without any more fanfare. Thorne sat next to me, reached over, and
took my hand.

"I know something's bothering you. You don't
have to tell me what it is, but it might help. I might be able to
help, and I can assure you anything you tell me…
anything
… will stay between the two of us. I
promise you that," he said.

I wanted to talk about the web of lies and
deception I'd gotten tangled up in, but I didn't know him well
enough to share anything. I worried confiding in him would entrap
me further. I was in deep enough.

I shook my head.

"I hope this doesn't offend you because it's
really the last thing I mean to do, but it's recently come to my
attention that trust is overrated and can only lead to pain and
disappointment. I'm not sure there's any reason to trust anyone but
myself. I'm the only one who's gonna watch out for me. In that
spirit, I'll keep what I know to myself and do what I'm asked," I
said.

"Why don't I tell you what I know? You don't
need to confirm or deny. I'm just hoping it helps to know someone
else sees what's going on," he said.

I stared down at our joined hands.

"You and St. Romaine had a thing. I'm not
sure how long it went on or how far you went, but I know things got
hot and heavy a few times here based on your MicroPharm
alarms."

Uh-oh!

I'd suspected, but I'd not known for sure
that Thorne could see my body's reaction to those very exciting
moments.

"It seems—at least to you—that St. Romaine
played you in order to keep you on the straight and narrow while he
waited for Barone to arrive."

I didn't say anything. I just sat there
reliving the pain from earlier and cursing my naïve stupidity.

"As far as Barone goes… what the hell? Why
is he calling you
his special little
girl
? You don't have to answer this if you don't want
to, but has he ever touched you… inappropriately, Carles?" Thorne
asked.

I couldn't control myself. My stare jerked
toward Thorne. I felt a wave of relief wash through me. He'd seen
it. I wasn't crazy. I wasn't anywhere near ready to admit anything
to Thorne, but something about him seeing what Barone was capable
of made me feel a little less alone.

"He has, hasn't he?"

I closed my eyes and looked away. It was in
Thorne's best interest and by default Rorie's for him to
not
know what kind of sick bastard
Barone really was.

True to his word, he didn't push me.
Instead, he squeezed my hand tight and said, "Just know if you need
to talk to me, I'm here. I won't judge you, and I won't go off
half-cocked against Barone. I can't afford to do anything like
that. Not with Rorie. I'm all she has. That doesn't mean I won't
listen or that I'll let him lay a hand on you as long as I'm
around," Thorne said.

My voice was small when I said, "I
completely understand the position you're in. You have Rorie to
look out for, and I get that. I'd do anything for my family. Unlike
you and me, it seems Jayden was just looking out for himself.
Still, thank you for… making me feel a little less alone… a little
less crazy, and like I might actually have a friend in the
world."

Thorne smiled right before his eyes got big.
"Hey… you and I are betrothed. I'm not sure there's anything he can
do about that. We can get married when you turn eighteen, and when
we do, there won't be anything he can do to you. While I had plans
for all of this to be a lot more romantic and a lot less rushed, I
want you to know I'm willing to go through with our marriage at any
time you're ready so he'll have to keep his hands off you. Even
President Barone himself is subject to corporeal punishment for
adultery," Thorne reasoned.

Before I knew what I was doing, I wrapped my
arms around Thorne and hugged him. There were tears leaking from my
eyes, but that couldn't be helped. This man was willing to put
himself in danger in order to protect me from the most powerful man
in the world, and he was the only one willing to do that.

Again, I said, "Thank you, Thorne. I won't
take you up on your offer because I'm not sure what Barone would do
to you and Rorie, but the fact that you're willing to help me… that
means more than you'll ever know."

Thorne pulled me closer and stroked the back
of my head. "Anytime, Carles. Anytime."

"Uhm-hm!"

With a throat clearing behind us, Thorne and
I jerked apart. When I saw it was Jayden standing in the door of
our tent, I made my eyes into slits and asked, "What the hell do
you want?"

Jayden put his hands up in surrender. "I
just thought we'd talk."

I hid my face in Thorne's chest. "I don't
talk to traitors." My words were muffled.

"Just give me a chance to explain before
everyone gets moving around here, Carlie. I think you'll
understand."

"Did you manipulate me to get me back to
Barone? Yes or no? The question is simple."

Jayden looked like he wanted to throw
up.

"Yes or no?" I repeated.

He still didn't answer.

As if issuing a final warning, I said, "Yes
or no? Which is it?"

Finally, Jayden nodded. "I manipulated you,
but not for the reasons you think."

I put my hand up, shaking my head. He wasn't
getting off that easy.

"The only answer I needed was
yes
. Now that I have that, I don't
want to have anything else to do with you. Don't come near me.
Don't talk to me. Don't try to get messages to me through other
people. I DON'T WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU!" I sobbed with my next words.
"I DON'T LOVE YOU!"

Jayden looked as if I'd finally followed
through with every one of my previously threatened physical
threats. All at the same time. His head visibly jerked.

I needed to get away from him. From here. He
may have been standing in the only way in or out of this tent, but
I was going to get by him. On my way past, he grabbed my arm and
tried to twist me toward him. "Just listen to me. You'll understand
if you do."

I snatched my arm back and through gritted
teeth and tear-filled eyes, I snapped. "Don't you ever touch me
again."

The Surrogate Soldier, the Lead Surrogate
Soldier was stunned by the vehemence in my words and my face. He
let go and stepped aside. I ran from the tent and headed toward the
borders of the camp. I had no idea where I was going. I just knew I
needed to be miles away from Jayden.

Behind me I heard Thorne calling my name. I
didn't slow down, but I didn't speed up either. I really didn't
mind if he caught up with me. Soon, he'd done just that.
Fortunately, he didn't try to talk about anything more than his
casual observations regarding the wildlife surrounding the
camp.

He pointed out two squirrels chasing each
other until one made a fatal move. With it, he would have plunged
to his death if the other more conservative squirrel hadn't offered
a tail for the squirrel to use to climb up on. Despite my mood, I
was amused by the way the two of them carried on as if nothing had
ever happened as soon as the death wish squirrel was out of
danger.

"I watch them all the time. I've even named
them," Thorne said wistfully.

Yet another surprising fact about Thorne.
"Really! What did you name them?"

"Well, the one who is most careful is a
female. Because of her nature, I gave her a very traditional name,
Ester. The one who is willing to risk his life in order to keep her
attention is named Nut," Thorne murmured reflectively.

The instant he told me what he'd named the
Evel Knievel of squirrels, I chuckled. No matter how upset I'd been
earlier, I couldn't help but giggle over the squirrels' names,
Ester and Nut. They were as fitting of names for forest creatures
as any I'd ever heard.

"Why are you laughing? Do you think you
could have done better?"

There was nothing funny about his question,
but it fueled my giggling fire. I chuckled harder while leaning my
back against a tree, sliding to the ground, and grabbing my stomach
in fits of laughter.

The squirrels' names were cute. They weren't
nearly as funny as I'd made them out to be, but my body had endured
all the anxiety, pain, and torture it could handle. There was
something inside of me that was clawing its way out and letting me
know laughter was the the only real cure for everything I'd been
made to endure over the last week.
Six
months.

Confusing Thorne was the fact that laughter
for me equated to tears, and they were rolling their way down my
cheeks. One after another. I did nothing to squelch them or wipe
them away. At least, I didn't until I remembered the last time I'd
laughed like this was with Tawney. It was after she'd forced me to
read her favorite romance novel.

It really was amazing, but there was no way
I was going to tell her I loved the book. Instead, I mocked the
book's ever-romantic line and feigned fainting over the ruggedly
handsome man every Procreate girl considered her book boyfriend. I
may have been a Procreate girl, but Jayden was the only imaginary
boyfriend I wanted or needed so I wasn't nearly as smitten as
others.

Jayden.

Suddenly, the tears coming were real and the
sobs were muffled as I pulled my knees into my chest and hid my
face in my folded arms. For me, laughing and crying had always been
reactions that were closely related. Right now, they were bleeding
over into each other's territory in a way that made me
look—
feel
—psychotic.

Thorne sank down next to me, put his arm
around my shoulder, and pulled me into his chest. There and in the
peace and quiet of the forest, the only real friend outside of my
family that I'd ever had let me cry the tears of a broken heart, of
crushed puppy love, and of unexpected betrayal.

Soon, we heard the bustling of the camp. It
was coming to life as the news of Barone's presence spread like
wildfire.

"Let's go back to the supply tent, pick you
up some more clothes, and head over to the showers to get cleaned
up," Thorne suggested.

I'd laughed and cried all I could. I was
sure my face was puffy, red, and swollen. The only thing that was
going to help was one of the ice-cold showers I'd hated the day
before. Today, there would be a reason to relish it.

I nodded and grabbed his outstretched hand.
I didn't even try to pull it free after we were up and walking back
toward the busy camp. Thorne had been there for me. If he wanted to
hold my hand, begin letting others think there was more to our
relationship than there was, who was I to say no?