Cheaper to Keep Her (part 1) (13 page)

I felt as if I was going to stop breathing. My vision became completely clouded with red. I clenched my fists together and I charged straight for them.

“
Arrggghh! You muthafuckin’ liar!” I screeched as I moved forward. I felt like I was possessed by the devil. The girl whipped her head around and screamed when she saw me coming straight for her, but it was too fucking late.

I snatched that bitch off the sofa by her long hair, which was a wig and it came right off. She was so shocked she didn’t have time to break her fall or keep her wig on. She landed on the floor on her naked ass. I reached down and grabbed the little patch of real hair she had slicked back to put her wig on. With one hand I held onto Christa’s real hair and with the other hand I started pounding her in the face. She tried to grab my hair but I was wailing on her ass so hard she couldn’t see to grab my long ponytail.

“
Lynise! Oh my God!” Diamond screamed out.

But I wasn’t letting go of the bitch. I couldn’t, no, I wouldn’t let this bitch or any other bitch disrespect me.

Duke was busy trying to fix himself. The asshole had also begun taking his dick out of his pants when I caught him. His shit was literally open around his waist. I guess he was going to fuck the bitch too. The girl was screaming but I wasn’t letting her go and I continued banging her in her face. Finally, I felt Duke grab me around my waist.

“
Lynise, stop this shit! She ain’t do shit to you!” he barked at me, finally able to pry me off his little nasty bitch. I had her hair all tangled around my hands and my knuckles ached from hitting her. I was out of breath and sweaty.

Perspiration donned my body from head to toe. Plus, I was still beyond pissed off. My reflexes made keen and I was still in kick-somebody’s-ass mode.

“
Oh, you gon’ defend this bitch! Fuck you! You a nasty bastard! All that shit you talked about not being the strip club type of nigga! You’re a fucking liar!” I screamed until my voice started cracking.

Duke let me go with a shove and I went stumbling. It was as if he was dismissing me. “Lynise, go home. I’ll be there when I can,” he said calmly, putting his hands up in a talk to the hand kind of motion. This bastard had the audacity to act cool and try to send me away like I was a child.

“
Fuck you asshole! You’re a dirty muthafucka! You think I don’t know about the bitches in Saks and all that too, right? You piece of shit! You whack dick nigga!” I was trying to find any words that would make him feel even close to the amount of humiliation and hurt I felt.

“
You hide behind your money and your fancy cars! But you ain’t shit!” I continued my rant. “You come from shit and you ain’t never gon’ be shit! You gotta buy pussy! You think any of these bitches would give you the time of day if you was that same ’hood trash you were born as!” I was throwing his personal secrets he had confided in me during some of our dinner dates back in his face in public. I just wanted him to feel as embarrassed as I did.

Duke grabbed my face roughly. “Shut your fucking mouth!” he hissed. There was a crowd in the champagne room now. The security guards were trying to level with me to get me to leave. I wasn’t having it.

“
Your mama didn’t want you! That’s why you gotta buy women!” I continued, mumbling as he put pressure on my face. That was the last straw for Duke. He grabbed me by my hair and started dragging me from the club. Diamond was screaming for him to let me go. The security guards knew Duke and evidently knew him well, because they just let him drag me as if I was a rag doll. I should have realized then how big his ass was in the eyes of many, but a woman scorn is a woman who can’t think straight in the heat of the moment.

“
Get off of me! Owww!” I cried out in pain. Duke continued dragging me out the door. When we got outside he pushed me down to the ground right in the dirt of the parking lot. I was on my knees screaming and crying. All of my former co-workers from the club were outside watching the drama. Duke lifted his foot and kicked dirt on me. The dusty dry earth got on my face and in my hair, on my hands and knees. I started coughing and crying even harder.

“
I picked you up from the gutter and the dirt, and bitch, I will send you right back if you ever disrespect me in public again. Now take your needy, funky ass home!” Duke spat, kicking me in the ass.

“
Aggghhhhhh!” I screamed as I tried to pull myself off the ground. I didn’t even have the strength to move. I actually felt as if I wanted to die rather than live with the utter embarrassment and shame I was feeling.

Diamond came over to me. “C’mon on, Lynise. I’m sorry about all of this. I can’t believe this nigga,” Diamond consoled as she helped me get to my feet. I grabbed onto her and just sobbed uncontrollably. Not only was I humiliated at how Duke had treated me in front of my co-workers, I was left with the reality that I was pregnant by him, a man who had no regard for women.

Diamond came back to the condo with me and helped me clean myself up. That’s when I told her I was pregnant.

“
Oh no, Lynise. After what happened tonight you need to be heading to the chop shop and getting that baby out of you,” Diamond said flatly. I knew if it were under any other circumstances, she would have been very happy for me.

“
How can you say that Diamond? He cheated yes, but he doesn’t know about the baby yet. When I tell him, it might change things between us,” I said, dabbing tears from my eyes.

“
Do what you want, Lynise, but bringing another life into a fucked up situation is a big decision,” Diamond began her lecture. “This nigga just cheated on you in a public place. Then he kicked dirt on you, literally and kicked you in the ass. Obviously, he is not the man you thought he was . . . a real man ain’t gon’ do no shit like that.”

I couldn’t even look at her because her words were driving a knife in my heart.

“
Just remember our fucked up childhoods with no good ass fathers,” Diamond reminded me.

She had a point.

But I was still holding onto hope that once Duke knew about the baby he would come around. I was really thinking that as soon as he knew he would make me his wifey.

Diamond made sure I was all right and then she got ready to leave. I gave her a long hard hug and thanked her for everything. When she left, my feelings went from sorrow to straight unadulterated anger. I kept playing the club scene over and over in my mind. I was stupid repeating the worst day of life in my mind. That thought coupled with me replaying the voice of the old bitch ass saleswoman at Saks mocking me made me feel even worse.

I stormed into the den, unlocked Duke’s desk and took even more money out of his lock box. Usually, I would only take a few of the bills from the middle so he wouldn’t really notice, but this time, I said fuck him and took two whole stacks of money. I was sure it had to be at least a couple of thousand dollars. I also picked up some of his business papers, household bills and some business contacts. I took all the stuff and stashed it away in a secure place amongst my things.

Just as I finished hiding everything, I was startled by the condo door slamming. I jumped and rushed over to the bed before Duke could come into the room. “Shit,” I huffed under my breath thinking that was a very close call. I wasn’t expecting Duke to come to the condo after everything that had happened. I was sure he would leave me in the condo alone for the night.

Duke came into the room and headed straight for the bathroom. At first, I tried to will myself to stay calm, but my emotions got the best of me. I couldn’t keep it together any longer. I didn’t know if it was my hormones from being pregnant or what, but I busted out crying in the bed. I got up and tried to go into the bathroom to talk to Duke but he had locked the door. I began banging on the door and screaming for Duke to open it.

“
Duke, how could you do this to me!” I roared through my tears. “I gave up everything for you! You humiliated me! I can’t believe you!” My throat was burning from screaming so much.

Finally, he opened the door. I looked at him out of my red, swollen eyes. His facial expression was like stone. “Lynise, if you ever embarrass me like that again in public, you will be out of my life. I will not tolerate that bullshit drama. I’m not up for it,” he said all nice and calm.

I was stunned at what he said to me. It took a minute for his words to register in my mind. And his stone-faced expression was intimidating. But I stood my ground.

“
How could you act like I did something to you!” I screamed through more tears. “You were fucking cheating on me in the place I used to work! In front of all my friends and former co-workers!”

“
I thought you were ready to move on,” he replied. “What’s done is done. I don’t want to hear all of this bullshit screaming and crying. I thought fucking with you was gonna be drama free. I thought you were a real woman and could handle a real man. I guess not. I gotta go.”

His words really cut like a dagger through my fragile heart. I bent over and cried some more. It felt like he had actually stabbed me in the heart. “How could you!” I wailed. I had fallen to my knees again. My legs were too weak to stand.

“
Grow up Lynise. Or get your own shit and get the fuck outta mine. Oh wait, you can’t because you ain’t got shit . . . everything you got I gave you. If you want to keep it that way then stay the fuck out of my way and just go with the flow.”

With that, he exited the room and slammed the front door behind him.

I fell back on the bed and let the tears run. I still hadn't been able to tell him that I was carrying his child. One part of me wanted to pack up my shit and leave.

I didn’t know if I could just accept Duke’s blatant disrespect, but another part of me was convinced that when I broke the good news to him about our baby he would jump for joy and finally put a ring on it.

Cheaper to Keep Her Unique

Chapter 17—It Ain’t Personal

I woke up the next morning to a ringing phone.

I jumped up hoping it was Duke calling to apologize to me for his horrible attitude and behavior. But it wasn’t him. It was Diamond again. This time she was checking in on me.

“
What’s up, Diamond? I’m fine,” I mumbled, my voice still groggy with sleep.

She immediately went for the jugular, asking me that important question, whether or not I had told Duke about the baby? I told her the truth that I didn’t tell him yet. Diamond went on and on about not telling him about the baby and to just get rid of it. For some reason she didn’t see it like I did. Maybe hindsight is twenty/twenty, but at the time, I thought the baby was all I had left to save my relationship with Duke.

I quickly got off the phone with Diamond. I wasn’t in the mood to hear what she was talking about that early in the damn morning.

I toyed with the idea of calling Duke and just telling him the news over the phone, but I really wanted to see him. I wanted to watch his reaction when he found out. I wanted to be the recipient of his hugs and kisses. I wanted to feel his excitement. Those visions of Duke’s fantasy reaction quickly faded from my mind when I remembered that he hardly ever answered my calls and he had just cursed me out and treated me like shit. I sighed loudly and stared at my cell phone. From how things looked, I finally settled in my mind that I would be telling Duke the news via telephone.

It took me three starts and stops to finally place a single call to Duke.

When he answered his phone, my heart immediately started pumping wildly. When his voice filtered through the phone I could tell he was annoyed with my call.

“
Duke, I don’t want to fight. I want to talk to you . . . in person,” I said in a low voice.

“
Lynise, I can’t come there right now. I’m taking care of business,” Duke said dryly. He sounded like he hated my guts now. He wasn’t even referring to me as Beautiful anymore. I was just plain ole Lynise to him now.

“
Please, Duke. I’m begging to see you. I have to tell you something important,” I implored. I had sat up in the bed. My head was spinning and I felt like throwing up. The morning sickness was coming on with a vengeance.

“
Naw, I’m not up for no emotional bullshit today,” Duke snapped. “You gon’ have to tell me over the phone or don’t tell me at all.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I swear it was like this man went from an angel to the devil himself all in a matter of days. I just couldn’t believe how he was speaking to me and treating me all of a sudden.

I swallowed hard and reluctantly proceeded to give him the news over the phone. “Duke, I’m pregnant,” I said, almost whispering.

I heard him breathe hard like he was annoyed. He didn’t say anything.

“
Did you hear what I said? I’m pregnant with our baby!” I repeated in an urgent tone, my voice much louder now.

“
Look, what you want me to say? I ain’t got no kids for a reason, a’ight. So what you gon’ do?”