Chasing Sunsets (32 page)

Not a day sooner.

MARCUS MADE RESERVATIONS
at Gladstones in Malibu. A bit of a drive, but not bad considering the beautiful winter
night. The moon was full, so he requested a table by the window. They arrived a few minutes early and found the place nearly empty.

Exactly as Marcus hoped it would be.

With his and Tyler’s flight to Arizona set for the morning, anything that needed to be said had to be said now. Tonight. They took their table and chatted about the Last Time In program while they ordered and waited for their food. Only then did Sami look at Tyler and Marcus and finally Mary Catherine.

“I have an announcement.” She folded her hands and smiled. “I can’t believe I did this, but I quit my job!”

“What?” Mary Catherine lived with her, and she apparently hadn’t heard anything about this. She laughed softly. “And you say I’m impulsive.”

“I know. You changed me.” Sami laughed, too. “I didn’t make up my mind till today at work. I decided my time had to be worth more than handling public relations for businesses and movie stars.” She grinned at Marcus. “So I took the marketing and community affairs job at the youth center. I’ll mostly work from home, but I’ll be there a few days a week.”

Tyler looked hesitant about her decision. “I told her it was too dangerous. It’s one thing to meet with the girls at the police station. But the youth center . . .” He took Sami’s hand and paused for a moment. His smile started in his eyes as he looked at her. “I’m happy for you, Sami. And I’m proud of you.” He turned to the others. “She told me it was something Mary Catherine would do.”

Marcus sat next to Mary Catherine across from the other
two. Mary Catherine was about to say something, he could sense that much. But he had the worst feeling that whatever it was, he didn’t want to hear it.

Then just when he wasn’t sure he could take another moment of her pulling away from him, beneath the table Marcus felt Mary Catherine reach for his hand. She didn’t let go. “Sami, you’ll be perfect. The community is ready for change. I really believe that.”

“After working with the Last Time In
program, I figured I had to make a change.” Sami smiled at Mary Catherine. “Because you have to live your life, right?”

“Right.” Mary Catherine gave Marcus’s hand a slight squeeze. “Speaking of which . . .” Her smile looked weak. “I have an announcement, too.”

Only Sami didn’t seem surprised. She simply turned approving eyes toward her friend and waited.

Mary Catherine looked at Sami and then Tyler. “I’m moving to Africa. I’ll leave here in the middle of the month to spend a few weeks with my parents in Nashville. Then I’m off to Uganda.”

Marcus released her hand. He turned to her, but she wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t face him. He worked to keep his tone even. “What . . . brought this on?”

“I’ve been planning it.” Finally she turned to him. Her eyes begged him to understand. “It’s something I’ve always dreamed of doing. I just got clearance a few days ago.”

Clearance?
Marcus felt like he was going to be sick. He wanted to take Mary Catherine down to the beach and hear the real story, the reasons she would’ve chosen to leave. Especially now, when she was making such an impact with Lexy.
When she had admitted feelings for him. He struggled to keep his tone even. “What do you mean, clearance?”

“I’ve been in contact with a ministry in Uganda. They need someone to coordinate the building of a new orphanage.” Again her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “We figured it out this week.” She tried to sound upbeat, but she was definitely failing. “I’m their girl.”

There was nothing Marcus could say. Any conversation about the issue would have to happen later, when they were alone. If they were alone. Tyler and Sami made small talk about Africa and how Tyler had always wanted to take a mission trip there. Maybe one day they would all go.

The banter did nothing to ease the devastation Marcus was feeling. Halfway through dinner he thought of another question. “How long will you live there?”

“That’s the good news.” She hadn’t tried to take his hand again. “Only six months. I should be able to make sure the orphanage is built and established in that time.”

Marcus did the math. Six months meant she’d be back sometime in August or September. Just when baseball season would be wrapping up. Was this why she hadn’t wanted a relationship? Because she knew that behind the scenes she was working to move to Uganda?

In some ways the idea was better than the other scenarios Marcus had imagined. He’d be busy pitching and traveling. He was frustrated she hadn’t told him sooner, but six months away didn’t have to be the end of things between them. They could talk and Skype, right?

He felt bad for pulling his hand away. He reached for hers and she willingly let him. This time he slid his fingers be
tween hers. The way they’d never held hands before. She smiled at him, a sad sort of smile, and again her eyes said more than her words could. At least here.

“Everything will be so different tomorrow.” Tyler put his arm around Sami’s shoulders. “Sami told me she might make a trip to Arizona halfway through spring training.” He smiled at Mary Catherine. “She hoped maybe you’d come with her.”

“Yeah.” Mary Catherine frowned. “She told me that earlier today. I would have. If the move to Uganda hadn’t come through.”

Marcus wished she’d quit calling it a move. She was taking a trip. Nothing more. He wasn’t going to let her go, not until she told him she didn’t care about him.

A somberness hung over the table as they finished eating. Tyler was right. Come tomorrow everything would be different. But Marcus wasn’t finished with tonight. He would drive her home and they would finish this conversation later. She didn’t have to be afraid of being gone for six months. He would’ve waited much longer than that.

He could hardly wait to tell her.

29

M
ARY CATHERINE WAS QUIET
on the drive back to her apartment. Halfway there, Marcus asked if she could come back to his house. So they could talk about her trip.

“I really can’t.” They weren’t holding hands this time. “I have to work tomorrow.”

Marcus didn’t respond.

She hated this, hated the look in his eyes. He didn’t understand, and she couldn’t blame him. The trip to Uganda worked in her favor. Her leaving meant she had one reason why it wasn’t an option to give in to their feelings. Their lives were going in different directions.

They were both quiet until they reached the apartment. She wanted to talk to him. This was the last time they’d see each other for a long time. Maybe forever—depending on how things went with her heart. She couldn’t let him leave here upset with her.

“Walk me up?”

“That’s all? Just walk you up and say goodnight and that’s it?” He wasn’t angry, just confused. She could see that much in his eyes. She understood. The chemistry between them, the attraction and pull—it was undeniable. They had so much in common. She prayed God would give her the words to help them both understand.

“Sami’s out with Tyler.” Mary Catherine smiled at him as they reached her apartment door. “Come in. Please.”

He looked relieved. The truth was, neither of them were willing to say goodbye yet. Once they were inside they sat together on the sofa. The lights in the room were dim—perfect for the farewell ahead.

The space between them felt like an ocean. Marcus pulled one leg up so he could face her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wasn’t sure.” Mary Catherine didn’t want to hurt him. She had never meant to get involved so quickly. “I mean, I always talked about Africa.”

“Not moving there.” His tone wasn’t antagonistic. He only wanted to make sense of what was happening.

“It . . . came together quickly.”

Marcus exhaled and for a minute he looked away, looked at the apartment and the photos on the walls. “You’ve never asked me inside before.”

“I wanted to.” He was dissolving her defenses again. “I just . . . I didn’t want either of us to get hurt.”

“That’s what this is about?” He reached for her hand and again she let him take it. “I’m not worried about getting hurt. What I feel when I’m with you . . . it goes all the way to my soul.”

Mary Catherine nodded. “I know.” She eased her fingers between his. “It’s that way for me, too. With you.”

“So what’s six months? You miss baseball season, big deal.”

“I don’t want to miss it. I want to be at every game.” She paused. “I watched you pitch that World Series win from right here.”

He looked in her eyes, to the places only he had ever seen. “I wish I’d known you then.”

“Me, too.” She ran her thumb over his hand. “I’ve thought about this. How we’ve gotten so close so fast.” She tried to smile, but it didn’t touch the sadness in the air between them. “I think it was all the tragedy. The shooting. Jalen. Lexy. Even the program.”

“And our faith.” He looked like he wanted to slide closer to her. But he kept his distance. “Your most beautiful crazy amazing faith made me take a harder look at God. The Bible. One day after we were together I drove out to Dodger Stadium and gave my life to the Lord. It was the day before I was baptized.”

“Mmm. I didn’t know.” It was another reason why the connection between them was so strong. What they shared was more than physical and emotional attraction. It was spiritual. If only she had more time.

Marcus didn’t look away. “What did Aspyn tell you today?”

“She said the program needs more volunteers. She was hoping I’d stay on for another round.”

“See . . . that’s what I don’t get.” He leaned his shoulder into the sofa and looked at her. As if maybe the answers were in her eyes.

She loved the way his pale blue sweater made his eyes look even lighter. The connection between them was so strong it breathed life into her. At least it felt that way.

“I wish . . .” His voice was thick with emotion. “I wish you would let me love you, Mary Catherine.”

Tears clouded her view. She had known tonight would be difficult, but she hadn’t expected this. All she wanted was to be in his arms again, kissing him under the stars as if she had ten thousand more nights like this.

She didn’t want him to see her cry. Without saying a word, she stood and walked to the window. She leaned on the frame and looked at the dark sky. Through the glare of the streetlight she couldn’t see a single star.

There was no need to turn around. She could feel him coming to her, the way she always felt his presence when he was near. He slid his arms around her shoulders and pulled her to him. “That makes you sad? That I want to love you?”

With all her being she wanted to stay facing the window, to keep from turning into his embrace. But she could no more stop herself than she could tell herself not to breathe. Or her heart not to beat.

“Marcus.” She turned and faced him and nothing else in all the world mattered. “It makes me sad because you can’t.”

He didn’t want to fight with her. That much was evident in his eyes. They were deep and afraid and full of the most incredible love. All at the same time. He nodded. “Okay.” For a moment it looked like they might kiss. Because neither of them was strong enough to resist this kind of pull. He ran his thumb softly over her cheekbone. “I’ll wait then. Till
we’re both back here. When the season’s over and you’ve had your time in Africa.”

A quiet terror ran through her veins. She wasn’t getting through to him. If he waited for her, things would only be worse. He would be devastated when he learned the truth. And that wasn’t fair. Her health was her problem. “That’s just it.” She searched for the next words. “I might not come back, Marcus. I might stay in Nashville.”

A new sort of fear filled his expression. “You can’t do that.” He worked his fingers back into her hair. “Please. Tell me you’ll come back here.”

“Sometimes . . . it just can’t work.” She thought about telling him the whole truth . . . or lying to him, convincing him she wasn’t interested. But he would never believe her. Not when she was seconds away from changing her mind about Africa. That was the effect he had on her. She put her hand on his chest. If only her heart were as strong as his. Her eyes searched to the deepest places in his soul. “Can you understand that?”