Chasing Rainbows (5 page)

I took a deep breath willing myself to relax. I was in control; not Chance nor Chase… Me. reassuring myself made me feel somewhat better, but for the sake of my fucked up sanity, I should probably never speak to either one of them again.

"Addie," Chance said, his breath brushing my hair and sending a quiver running straight through me.

Heaven, help me! I couldn't control my reaction to him.

"Leave me alone," I whispered over my shoulder, not bothering to turn around. If I looked at him, I'd cave.

"I can give you a lift home after school," he offered, but I refused to answer him. I just wanted to be left alone. When he grabbed a strand of my hair, I turned in my seat and watched as he twined the loose curl around his finger. When he let out a soft sigh that was when I began to unravel.

His touch was electric. There was no choice but to endure and feel the current slide throughout my body. I was all about self-preservation. Even though it was hard, my senses returned. I yanked my hair from his grasp, turning around. Less than a minute later, his fingers were once again tangling back into my hair. He was driving me mad. I couldn't stand it.

When Mr. Yates momentarily left the classroom, I forced myself to face him once more. I had every intention of telling Chance to leave me the hell alone, but the words died a quiet death on my lips along with my resolve whenever I met his eyes.

"You should let me take you out this Friday night," he suggested, but I already was shaking my head no, even before his question fully registered. Anything involving spending time with him would not be in my best interest.

''I don't want a boyfriend," I said, even though those words weren't entirely true.

"Really?" Chance said; his tone implying that he didn't believe a word I'd just said. A cocky grin darted across his handsome but confident face.

It would actually be nice to have someone care about me. I was tired of being alone. Sure, I had Kara and Brandon, but they had lives of their own. I couldn't be that selfish. Throughout the entire day, I'd definitely been sending mixed signals, but Chance was not for me. It was only fair to put an end to this right here and right now.

"Yes, really," I retorted. He was pissing me off.

"How about a friend?" he asked not giving up, but there was no way I could ever just be only his friend. He was not friend material, and I wasn't stupid. He was more like French kissing and heavy groping in the dark. Yes, that was Chance in a nutshell.

"I have enough friends," I replied bluntly. I admit, I'd encouraged his behavior, but enough with these games. He was just too sure of himself and it was time to set him straight. "You should be friends with Miley," I suggested, sending him a too-sweet smile. She would definitely put the F in Friend for him. Dirty little slut.

"Jealous, kitten?" he teased, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hardly." I replied, trying my best to appear indifferent, and quickly turned back around in my seat so I wouldn't have to look at his face. He was the ultimate of distractions for my peace of mind.

When the bell finally rang, I jumped up from my desk weaving through the crowd as I made my way for the door. I needed to get the hell out of there and as far away from him as possible. He called my name, but I kept on going, bypassing my locker and hurrying for the stairs.

Outside in the school parking lot, Kara and Brandon were waiting for me. Before either one of them had a chance to speak, I cried, "Let's get out of here!" There wasn't any time to waste since I was sure that Chance was somewhere behind me and hot on my heels. He didn't like to take no for an answer.

"Where's the fire, Addie?" Kara joked, making no further comment on my obviously deranged behavior. She knew how I was.

"Here comes the fire starter," Brandon replied in a matter-of-fact tone. I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see Chance and feel his hand wrap snugly around my wrist.

"Hey," he said, a little bit out of breath. He was smiling at Kara and Brandon without even bothering to look at me. From their expressions, I could already tell he had charmed his way into their good graces. His thumb caressed the skin along my wrist causing my pulse to jump and totally destroying whatever little bit of concentration I might have still had. "I offered Addie a ride home. I hope that's okay."

"Sure," Kara and Brandon both murmured at the same time, looking at me strangely. Neither one of them seemed the least bit surprised by Chance's offer, only me.

"B-but…" I stammered, trying inconspicuously as possible to pry his long fingers from around my wrist. I didn't want to make another scene since I had run from the high school like my pants were on fire, but I couldn't understand why I wasn't trying harder to escape Chance's grasp. His touch drained everything inside of me, leaving me feeling boneless and breathless. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

"It's okay," Kara reassured me. She had entirely misinterpreted the situation. "Are you working tonight?" she asked.

I pleaded silently for her to say something, anything to get me out of this mess but instead, I found myself numbly nodding yes in reply to her question.

"Me and Devon will be by later. I've got a surprise for you." A huge grin widened her mouth. "Let's roll, Brandon," she said, and without waiting for a reply from him, she turned for the car.

Brandon smiled devilishly, eyeing first me then Chance. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Addie," he said with a wink.

Helpless, I could only watch as my two best friends walked away leaving me alone in Chance's clutches.

"Let go of me," I ordered rather harshly. I'd finally found my courage, but it was too late. At my words, he appeared surprised but his expression was stern.

"We need to talk," he replied stubbornly then started dragging me down the steps further into the parking lot. "Where's Chase?" I asked, desperately hoping he would come along and put an end to this madness.

"He's got his own ride home," Chance said, as if he couldn't care less about his twin. We trudged across the parking lot finally coming to a stop beside a newer model black pickup truck.

The parking lot had cleared out. It was almost empty. The buses were already in a line awaiting the green light so they could pull out onto the highway. I had no choice but to go with him or walk the ten miles to my house.

My parents were away on a business trip. My dad's company held a yearly conference that he had to attend. It was mandatory. I was surprised when my mom had decided on the spur of the moment to go along with him. It was kind of a last minute deal. They wouldn't be back until Sunday, even though this upcoming Friday was my birthday.

"Get in," Chance ordered, opening the door. Then, he stood there patiently waiting for me to climb in.

At some point, he'd released my wrist, and I hadn't even noticed. I could have run but instead of running, I stood beside him frozen into place looking inside the cab of his black pick-up truck. "I'm only giving you a ride home, Addie" he murmured, his voice somewhat gentler and less threatening.

I began to relax. Maybe, Bryce was right. Maybe, I was high strung. No, Bryce was an idiot. My will began to buckle. It was only a ride home. The day had definitely taken its toll on me. So, I climbed inside the cab of the truck and settled into the leather seat. "My friends know who I'm with. Just in case you decide to dismember my body," I only half joked, instantly wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut. I was a mess and sometimes, when I got really nervous I tended to babble.

He climbed in and closed his door then stuck the key in the ignition. When he looked over at me, his handsome face held a playful grin. "I know a lot of things I'd like to do with that body, but dismemberment isn't on the list."

I fell quiet, looking out the side window as my mind raced with the thoughts of him putting his hands all over me.

"Take a right," I said, refusing to look at him when he pulled up to the stop light which instantly changed from red to green and then he eased the truck out onto the highway. This was such a mistake, but there wasn't anything I could do about it now. I was stuck with him. At least, until he dropped me off at my house.

The silence inside the cab was deafening, and when we stopped at another light, I told him to take a left. We drove for a while and neither one of us spoke. When we were only a couple miles from my house, he gave his turn signal slowing down and pulled over onto a wide spot on the shoulder of the road.

I watched a deer I'd spotted near the trees at the edge of the meadow, afraid to speak or even move. My hands were sweating. My heart was hammering wildly in my chest. I clenched my hands in my lap tightly squeezing them together. This was not good.

"Now turn those gorgeous brown eyes my way," he ordered, his voice a low husky whisper making my insides melt.

I willed myself to remain calm. I didn't want to face him. I just wanted to go home, but finally I turned and looked at him.

"What are you afraid of, Addie?" he asked, his voice soft and coaxing as if he were trying to soothe a small frightened animal.

A million responses leapt to mind, but it was him. He was what I was afraid of most and the feelings that he made me feel. I didn't understand this attraction I had not only for him but also for his brother. With Chase, I sensed a danger lurking underneath, but it wasn't completely overwhelming or one that threatened to consume me whole until there was nothing left but a quivering mass of insecurities and need.

Chance would destroy me and strip my soul bare then leave me more broken than I'd ever thought imaginable. He leaned closer, his face mere inches from mine. He was unwilling to take no for an answer; making me feel and making me think when I didn't want to. This attraction I felt made me ashamed. I couldn't have them both, and I wasn't sure which one I really wanted. There was a name for girls like that and I wasn't that kind of girl nor would I ever be, no matter how great the temptation.

He leaned back against the seat, and sat there relaxed while I on the other hand was ready to have a meltdown. His arm rested near my head. From the corner of my eye, I saw that he held a strand of my wavy streaked blond hair between his fingertips. His eyes missed nothing, noting the way I held my hands tightly clasped as if the pressure of me squeezing them together was the only thing keeping me centered; keeping me from flying apart and reaching for him.

"I'm waiting," he snapped impatiently, and my eyes rose from my lap to meet his.

"I'm afraid of you,'" I replied, honestly. "I don't want to be used. I don't want to play this game with you or your brother."

His expression never wavered; his face remained calm, but his eyes burned with an intensity that had me clenching my hands even tighter.

"Who said this was a game, Addie?" he asked his face solemn. Now, I held his complete attention, and he was inching toward me. It took every ounce of my strength not to fling open my door and run.

I glanced away, looking anywhere but at him. The pressure of his leg against mine caused my mouth to go dry. I bit my lip hard trying to remind myself once more, he was just a guy and then his fingertip brushed across my lower lip and gently grazed my teeth. I sucked in a deep breath and looked wide-eyed back at him.

"Don't do that," he ordered; his voice husky. Then he moved his hand from the back of the seat and cupped my cheek.

Before I even had time to blink, his mouth was on mine. His heat was melting away my resistance. His lips moved hungrily against mine, then his tongue brushed the seam of my lips, and I tried to keep them closed only to feel the rough scrape of his teeth playfully nibbling at my bottom lip.

Somehow, my hands found his chest. It was as if they had a will of their own disobeying my good intentions. Everything was growing hazy. I was on fire, burning up from the inside out. I wanted to push him away and should have done just that, but I didn't. He lifted me off the seat, settling me onto his lap about the same time his tongue brushed against mine.

My chest heaved and I clutched his back feeling the strong muscles beneath his shirt clench as I held on for dear life. My hand slid across his broad shoulder settling into the thickness of his black hair. I was caving, coming completely unraveled. I pulled him closer, and he growled against my lips.

The touch of his fingers trailing along the bare skin of my stomach had me jerking back as I struggled to breathe. His taste still lingered on my tongue and I knew then that I was destroyed. I was addicted to the unique flavor of him just as I'd been addicted at one point in time to the shiny razor blades that I still kept hidden in the drawer of my nightstand.

"I can't do this," I said, heaving, as moisture gathered at the corners of my eyes. I was going to cry if he didn't let me go.

"It's not a game to me, Addie," he said quietly, his face buried in my hair. The heat of his breath and the ragged tone of his voice let me know that he was just as affected by what had happened as I was. "Stay away from Chase," he warned me. "You don't know him like I do."

What the hell?
I untangled myself from around him and slid from his arms leaning back into the seat.
Had this all been a game to get back at his brother? Could I even trust Chance?
Of course, he'd already made up my mind for me. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know who I wanted. I really didn't know if I even wanted anyone. I needed time to think. "Take me home, Chance. Please," I whispered, huddling against the side of the door.

The seat dipped as he moved away from me. With the start of the engine, he pulled back out onto the highway without saying anything. I instructed him with as few words as possible looking out the window hoping to avoid any further conversation. Minutes passed in silence and I secretly wished that I was home lying within the sanctuary of my room listening to my iPod; my head filled with the music that seemed to have been written especially for me while I thought of everything that I had lost.

That was exactly what I needed. A reminder to keep me grounded. I needed out of this truck, away from him and the feeling of security that I found when my mind shut down. It had been an emotional day. Though the trip had seemed to take forever, soon enough we pulled onto my street. My house was on the right. "It's the white one with the red roof and matching shutters."