Chasing Me (6 page)

His eyes watch my fingers skim along his tattoo, inching higher and higher. I can’t see the dragon at the top of the sleeve, only the tail curling around his bicep is visible as it pokes out of his sleeve. Of all his many tattoos, it is by far my favorite. I can’t help wondering what part Hunter would play; the knight, or the dragon. He displays so many parts of each character depending on his mood. But who would end up winning the battle between the light and dark? Most importantly, where would it leave me in the aftermath?

“Chase,” Hunter whispers softly, tipping my chin up with his free hand. My eyes meet his, knocking the breath out of me. That deep brown that stole my heart, making me want so much more than I can ask him for. Yet the very ones that turned away from me; dismissing me as soon as I attached strings to our relationship. The first time I said those three fucking words to anyone other than people who couldn’t just walk away once I had. The only time I associated love with sex, because with anyone else it was about finding an orgasm, not a soul mate.

Taking a shaky breath, I do the only thing I know to do. “I think we need a drink.”

My comment takes him by surprise, giving me the opportunity to slip from his arms. Scooping up my bag, I turn and run from the room. I can’t give myself a chance to miss the feel of his touch, or take the chance that he will say anything else. I’m terrified of what would happen if I stayed in that room a minute longer. If he asks me something as crazy as to try, I would, without hesitation. And that is what I fear most; giving him my heart, only to have him crushing me because he doesn’t protect it.

Ducking Frunk

Hunter

The last thing I anticipated was for Chase to bolt from the room. I wasn’t expecting a declaration of love or anything, but I did plan for her to slap me with a dose of her smart mouth. I was counting on it. Nothing makes me harder than that bitchy sass that only Chase gives me. Those confident comebacks that only make me want to maul her mouth with mine, or shove my already aching dick into it. Instead, she made an excuse and ran from me like I had tried to light her tits on fire.
Which I would never do, they are my friends.

After shaking off the sting of rejection, I decide to treat today like a cheap prom date and fuck it. The possibilities of missing out on the booze or the possible bacon in the bar are too tempting for me to ignore. I made my apology and if she wants to run, well she can, for now. Flinging the door open, I am met by Henry. “That seems to have gone over well.” He deadpans, giving me an ‘I told you so’ look.

“Could’ve gone better, but could’ve been worse.” I shrug. “She gave me time to apologize, but not enough to fully explain.” Walking up the hall, I see the bartender setting up shots for everyone.

“Was that before or after you fucked her against the wall?” Henry chides, disapproval dripping from his voice.

Turning my gaze to Big Man, I glare at him. It hurts that he thinks so little of me. I mean yeah, I’m the worst caliber of a man-whore, but I never treated Chase like that, did I?
You weren’t going to fuck her against the wall… it was the desk you planned on, right man?
“It wasn’t like that.” Thoughts of me treating her like just another damn groupie is almost enough to make me sick. Something I have never felt before washes over me: shame. I don’t like it. At all.

“Wasn’t it?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Henry was never my father. He finished raising us, but was always my brother, my best friend, and above everything else the one who knew me better than anyone. Now it hurts that he so easily just assumes the worst of me, even if it is partially true.

“Well, Big Man, I guess since it’s the worst possible thing to assume of me it has to be the truth. Being the selfish, sick bastard that I am would obviously mean I have a hidden motive. I’d apologize, not out of guilt, because I have no conscience. My main goal isn’t forgiveness, it’s just to get into her pants one last time.” I bite out. “Don’t think too much of Cunter, he’ll surely let you down. I mean he isn’t possible of changing for the better. No way he would be caught doing anything noble or worth being proud of.” I add, watching Chase take a shot with Cam, Aiden, and Luke. She smiles at Cam, giggling and happy as if nothing happened only moments before.

“Damn it, that’s not what I mean.” Henry says apologetically. “Listen, it’s just,”

I wave him off, “No, I know what you meant brother. Thanks for reminding me of my place.” Turning, I make my way to the bar. Grabbing a stool on the end away from everyone, I motion for the dude to pour me a shot. “Keep ‘em comin’ man,” I murmur, lifting the glass high. I tip it to Chase in a silent toast, just between us. Her eyes meet mine, widening as they fill with concern, but I shake her off.

Swallowing it in one gulp, I feel the welcome heat of the alcohol as it goes down already beginning to numb my pain. Silently, I think how wrong Chase is. If all these people care about me so goddamn much, why don’t they expect more from me than the asshole that I have been for so long. The role I fell into, that I continue to play, even though it’s not as rewarding as it was months ago. The bastard front man that fucks anything that walks. Who isn’t supposed to care who he hurts as long as he gets his good time.
Why change the appearance of a place no one would dare to occupy. My heart isn’t a place anyone wants to visit, let alone take up residence. Most importantly, no one would ever willingly let me in theirs.
Even when I try to protect the people I care about, it backfires in my face, only hurting myself.

Having no one but my brother and best friends was always enough for me, until now; because, I had always thought they knew there was more to me than just the guy who makes nasty jokes and isn’t afraid to upset the ladies church group in a diner. For the first time since we started Shaft, I feel completely empty. Everyone around me is happy. Their lives are coming together, while I stand still, never moving, unchanging. My family is celebrating, while I attempt to empty the bottle of whiskey in front of me in record time.

***

Two hours later, the bottle is empty and the bartender decides to cut me off. Henry’s huge mit of a hand covers my shoulder before I can argue for another bottle. “Come on brother, I’ll get you back to the hotel so you can sleep this shit off.” Sliding off my stool, I wobble unsteadily. “Let’s go, I don’t want you embarrassing yourself man.” He says, grabbing my arm.

Yanking away from him, I crash against the bar knocking glasses to the ground. “Fuck you,
brother.
Don’t you really mean before I embarrass
you
?” Looking around the room, I glare at everyone now staring at Henry and me. “That’s what you all think isn’t it?” Pushing off the bar, I stagger across the room toward the hallway. “Just placate the poor bastard because if we don’t, he will just make life harder for us. Well fuck you all, I’m tired of being forced to suffer through your good time.” Reaching the hallway, I turn and look into the shocked faces of my family taking in my drunken outburst and even though I see the train wreck my actions are causing, I can’t stop it. My eyes meet Chase’s, her hazel eyes filled with worry for me.
Great! Just what I need, fucking pity.
“You’re right, Tiger Lily, all the people out here love and think so much of me.” I say sarcastically, mocking her words from earlier.

Aiden’s face presses into a hard line, while shock pours from all three girls. Mack looks to Henry as if there is some hand signal to tackle the drunk idiot as if I were a damn suicide bomber.
Only person going down with this ship is me dude, calm your tits.
I can feel Henry’s stare burning a hole into me.

“Hunter,” Daisy pleads. “Don’t do this, not here.”

“Leave him be Wildflower, he’s only hurting himself.” Gray tosses out, only adding fuel to my fire.

“Just leave me the fuck alone until you need Cunter to prance his sexy ass on stage and woo the bitches.” I ground out. “That’s all I’m good for right?” Shoving down the hall, I have nowhere to go except the office where Chase and I were just a couple hours before.

“What the hell was that about?” Henry storms into the room, ready to rip me a new ass. “I’m not in the mood to baby your sorry ass tonight. You’ve upset everyone, not just Cam. Grow the fuck up!” He roars, making me laugh.

“I’m done with all of this shit.” My words echo loudly off the wall, making Henry wince. “I need some air along with a lot more booze. I’m not nearly drunk enough to handle the ‘Saturday Morning Special’ going on in there.” I blurt, shoving the back door open and storming out into the alley. Henry is behind me, like the goddamn shadow he is.

“Hunter, you’re going back inside if I have to drag your sloshed ass by that mop you call hair to apologize. Once you do that, we can go wherever you want.” He orders, gripping my shoulder harder this time.

Spinning around, my fist connects with his chin. As lit as I am, it doesn’t do anything more than surprise him. I am shocked I even hit the big bastard. “Piss off; I didn’t ask you to be my fucking shadow. Everyone in that motherfuckin’ room is better off without me being in there. So, no, I’m not going back in.”

Releasing me, he nods. “Okay man, I hope you know what you’re doing.” Henry says, resigned. Without another word, I walk up the alleyway and disappear into the chaos of the Vegas Strip after dark.

Deciding to follow the flow of foot traffic, I head up the street. Vegas at night is wild and full of trouble for a guy like me with no inhibitions or shame to get into. Too bad the last thing I am up for is a party like that. Any other time, I would be diving into a pair of tits right now to forget the bullshit. Scanning the awnings, I spot a run-down bar and duck inside away from the crowd.

The fact that I fucked up royally isn’t lost on me. After making a scene and taking a shot at my best friend, I would deserve it if they never speak to me again. For now, though, I’m not dealing with any of it. Let the repercussions come tomorrow along with the regret and the giant hangover.

Pulling out my wallet, I toss the stack of bills to the bar. The old man wiping down the counter raises his head, probably catching a wiff of the bank roll, and walks my way. “All my cash is yours, old timer, if you can do two things.” I say sitting on a stool. “Keep my glass full and pour my ass into a cab after the cash runs out.”

Scooping up the wad, he smiles before shoving it in his pocket. “What’s your poison?”

“Whiskey. The good shit and lots of it.” I mutter. He nods, grabbing a black label bottle off the shelf and fills my glass high, ending our conversation.

#
assmole

Chase

“What the hell is his problem?” Aiden shouts the minute Henry walks back up the hall alone. “I should go in there and kick his ass.”

I can’t help feeling sorry for Hunter. Yeah, that was a shitty outburst and a bad place to let the dam break, but it’s all too clear that he was hurting.
I wonder why that is, Chase…

“You can’t, he left.” Henry says, exhaling hard. His fists clenching tight when he sits at the table, “I got angry and didn’t handle the situation well. He bolted after takin’ a swing at me.” The thought of Hunter taking a swing at Henry boggles my mind. Henry is his best friend. Besides, Hunter knows Henry would’ve torn his ass into bits if things were to escalate.

“So you just let him leave?” Daisy shrieks. “Big Man, he’s halfway to Lushville. What if something happens to him?” She stutters, choking on a sob. Worry etched across her face, no doubt thinking back to when he was drugged in Macon. I was terrified; even though I was so hurt by his actions, I don’t want to see him hurt. Ever. “I’m going after him.”

Grayson grabs Daisy’s arm when she pushes to her feet. “Like hell you are. I’ll never let your ass get through that door, Wildflower.”

“It’s our job, Gray.” Daisy replies tearfully. “The last thing he needs is to run into any photographers, as upset as he is.”

“He’s not going to wanna see any of us right now, Daisy.” Aiden says shaking his head. “Cunter is out in full force right now and you can’t deal with him tonight. I should’ve seen it comin’. He’s been dealin’ with shit in his head for weeks now.”