Chasing Jupiter (8 page)

My nose pinched at the smell of her clothes. Grass and sweat and something else I couldn’t quite make out. “Did Mama and Dad see you, Juli?”

She groaned and rolled around until she lay on her back. “Nah. I came in the back door and hid in the kitchen until I heard Mama leave the living room. Dad stayed in there, and she went to her bedroom. They had another fight, I guess.” Her cheeks puffed out. “Gosh, sometimes I really just hate being here.”

The bitterness in her voice churned my stomach. I clutched a pillow, feeling guilty because I had been so close to thinking that only a few minutes earlier. “They didn’t have a fight. They just had … a disagreement about some money.” My voice didn’t sound very confident. I gnawed on my bottom lip.

Juli rolled her eyes. “They wouldn’t worry about money if Dad was less of a bum and actually went out to get a real job or something.”

What?
My skin turned hot. I sat up, tensing. “Don’t you dare say that, Juli! Dad works just as hard as anyone. We all work together. All except for you. But I guess you wouldn’t be home enough to
know that anyway, would you?” The words that spilled out of my tongue were venomous and beyond repetition. I felt like spitting at Juli.
Stupid, selfish sister!

Juli glared back, daring me with her flashing eyes. “I don’t see why they don’t just get rid of Grandpop Barley right now. The longer they put it off, the more the bills are going to stack up.”

I stood, only inches away from her. It felt like she was trying to egg me on, waiting to see what I would do. I clenched my fists at my side. “Grandpop Barley is family! He’s not going anywhere!”

“He’s just an expensive freak. Like Cliff.”

That straw broke the camel’s back, and my hand flew of its own accord, slapping Juli clean across the cheek. Juli whipped right back, hitting me harder. It knocked the breath out of me and I stood there panting, staring at her. At my older sister. The one who played dolls with me and braided my hair and taught me how to whistle through my missing front teeth. My hand was throbbing.
Did I really just hit her?

Juli’s face grew very white. Then her mouth opened with a spew of curse words I’d never heard before. She grabbed her bag. “Ziggy’s more family to me than you are.” The door slammed behind her and then I was alone again.

I didn’t hear her footsteps on the stairs or her car pull out of the driveway. It was just silent. Mama called upstairs, wanting to know what was wrong, but I just shouted, “Nothing!” and turned off the light.

Then I curled up on my bed and stared into the darkness, wondering when I had turned into the kind of girl who thought bad things about her parents and slapped her sister in the face.

The house was perfectly quiet when I awoke close to midnight. Silently, I pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed. My throat burned from thirst.

I crept down the stairs and into the kitchen. Pulling a glass down from the cupboard, I filled it with water and gulped it down.

Pit. Pat
.

I blinked.
What was that?

Pat. Pit. Pit
. There it was again: a strange tapping noise, coming from outside.

My heart began to race. Maybe someone was trying to break in. Maybe it was a notorious axe murderer who’d come to prey upon our family. Maybe …

I hugged my chest. Well, there was only one way to find out. And someone would be screaming for help if it was a murderer, right?

It was probably only Juli, now that I thought about it. Mama probably locked the front door, and she needed me to come open it for her. Perhaps it was nothing.

I inched toward the side door. With trembling fingers, I pushed aside the curtain and peered through the little window. Utter darkness.
No, wait …
I looked a little closer.

Someone was standing outside by the side of the house. A man, by the looks of it. His arm was raised, and he tossed something at the house.
Pit. Pat
. Rocks. He was throwing rocks at a window.

What on earth …

I squinted my eyes as hard as I could. He looked an awful lot like …

I unlocked the door and pulled it open slowly. “Frank?”

The man’s head whipped toward me. Then he stepped forward into the moonlight. It was indeed Frank, standing in my front yard with a lightweight jacket thrown over his pajamas. “Oh, hey, Scarlett.”

I pushed the door open all the way and stepped out into the
yard, still holding my arms tightly across my chest. I shook my head. “What are you doing here? In the middle of the night?”

“Oh, actually, I was trying to throw rocks at Cliff’s window. I found the most amazing thing, and I really wanted him to see it.”

A smile twitched in the corner of my lips. I pointed at the window he was standing in front of. “And so you threw rocks at that window?”

Frank glanced at the window and rubbed his forehead. “Well, yeah. I figured Cliff would wake up and then he could come out for just a while.”

I cleared my throat, trying not to laugh. “Frank, you were throwing rocks at my parents’ window. That’s their bedroom. Cliff’s is over to the left.”

Frank’s eyes grew large. “Oh.” He paused. “I guess that would have been somewhat problematic.”

I laughed, leaning against the door. “So what is it you wanted to show Cliff?”

He smiled. “It’s a secret. For both of you.”

Both of us?
My stomach jumped, but I cleared my throat and tried to look serious. “You know you really are annoying? I mean, it’s twelve o’clock at night.”

“Twelve o’clock in the morning,” Frank corrected, sticking his hands behind his back. “If it’s a.m., then you say it’s in the morning.”

“I know that. Obviously.” I looked him over. The whole thing was just really ridiculous. Frank, flinging rocks at my parents’ window? Me and Cliff, sneaking out at midnight to go for a walk in the woods? Running around outside in our pajamas? I pressed my lips together, holding back a smile. “You stay right here. I’ll go wake up Cliff.”

A
re your eyes still closed?”

I sighed. “Yes.”

“Okay. No peeking now.”

Frank’s hand was pressed firmly over mine, leading me through the woods. “Tree ahead,” he warned, pulling me out of the way.

Cliff clutched my other arm. “You know, it’s kind of scary to be in the woods in the dark. I’ve never been outside in the middle of the night.”

Me either
.

Frank halted to a stop, nearly causing me to run into him. “Okay. Now open your eyes.”

My eyes flew open. Instantly, the beauty overwhelmed me. We stood in the middle of a moonlight-bathed clearing in the woods. The starry heavens reflected off a small, shallow pond. Rocks lay scattered on the forest floor.

I perched on a rock and hugged my knees to my chest. My thin sweater still let in a nip of the nighttime breeze, which tickled my neck and lifted the hairs on my forehead. “Wow. It’s magical.”

“Yeah, but this is what I really wanted to show you. Look.” Frank knelt by the pond and turned on his flashlight. Swimming around in the shallow water were dozens of inky little tadpoles. Their tales
swished around, and they darted under the cover of the pond’s pebbles, startled by the sudden light.

“Whoa.” Cliff lay on his stomach, watching the creatures in awe. “They’re baby frogs, right?”

“Right.” Frank switched off his flashlight. “But they don’t like the harsh light. Besides, it’s more fun to watch them swim in the dark anyway.”

We watched them in silence for a long time—all of us spread out on our stomachs. The way they sporadically darted back and forth, into the murky shadows and then back into the moonlight, was mesmerizing.

My head began to swim in circles too, bewitched by the moonlight and sweet evening scent. The woods felt heavy and peaceful around us. The whole world lay still.

“Hey,” Frank whispered after a while. “I think he fell asleep.” He nodded at Cliff, who was lying beside me with his face buried in his arms.

I nudged him with my elbow. “Cliff?”

He didn’t move; his breathing grew heavier.

Frank made a face. “Ah, let him sleep. I’ll carry him home later.”

My fingers messed with the little curls on Cliff’s neck just above his pajama collar. He would have slapped my hand away if he had been awake, but there are zero no-touching rules when you’re sound asleep. “He’s probably really tired.” I glanced up. “After all, it is twelve o’clock
in the morning
.”

“Mmm.” Frank watched him in silence for several seconds. I wanted to know what he was thinking, but I was afraid to ask.

Instead, I rolled up my sleeves and pressed my elbows into the cool dirt. With one finger, I drew a tic-tac-toe board in the soil. I glanced up at Frank. “You go first.”

He grinned, and drew a big
O
in the right corner.

I frowned. “You know you’re supposed to start every game in the middle square. It’s the best guarantee of winning.”

He shrugged. “I’ve won this way before.”

Okay
. I rolled my eyes and drew an
X
in the center.

Frank whistled softly as he contemplated his next move. “Would you rather be rich or be famous?”

A smile crept across my face. “Neither. I’d rather be smart.”

He made a face and drew another
O
in the dirt. “That wasn’t an option.”

“Still. It was better than either of the alternatives.” I rested my chin in my cupped hands. “Would you rather be an astronaut or a doctor?”

“Um, a doctor.” He held up a hand. “But only a pet doctor. A veterinarian.”

“Oh, right.” I squished the cool dirt between my fingers, letting it cake under my nails. I could see Frank as a veterinarian. Actually, that sounded really great. He could do what he loved every day of his life—rescuing animals and taking care of them. And he would get paid for it.

Frank squinted at me in the darkness. “Would you rather be a character in a book or a movie?”

“Movie. But only if it’s a major hit and I could be played by a famous person.” Not that I really knew of that many famous people. But still.

He nodded. “Same.”

I pressed my lips together. The forest around us was quiet and still; the three of us seemed to be the only ones in the world.

I thought about Mrs. Greene and the chicken incident. About her talking about her life and how she met her husband, and how when he read to her, she knew what he was saying was true. I wondered if I would ever know anything to be true like that.

Frank was watching me and waiting.
Oh
,
my turn
. “Sorry,” I muttered, marking an
X
.

“What are you thinking?” he asked softly.

I sighed. “Would you rather die and not know where you’re going or live forever on earth with no hope of going anywhere at all?”

A frown crossed his face. He cleared his throat. “I’d never really thought about it. I guess when you’re eighteen it feels like you’ll be living forever anyway. Like it’ll be ages until you have to start worrying about that.”

“Yeah, I guess.” My head hurt just thinking about it. The world beyond ours seemed big and scary.
If astronauts can’t see the end of it, just how big would a God and a heaven beyond it be?

Frank chuckled and drew his last O. “Three in a row. What did I tell you?”

I jolted to attention. Sure enough, three Os. I grinned sheepishly. “I just wasn’t paying attention.”

“Says the loser.”

He stared at the ground for a while, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Then he glanced up at me. “Can I ask you … I know this probably isn’t …” He took a quick breath and lowered his voice. “Is there something wrong with Cliff? I mean, everyone says he’s … Well, they say he’s crazy, and he certainly acts like no one else I know. I was just wondering …” A crease formed on his forehead. “I mean, have you taken him to any doctors or anything? To figure out what the problem is?”

I dropped my eyes.
Why does everyone always seem to think he has a problem?
Emotions flooded through me. Red-hot anger at someone thinking my brother was crazy, ice-cold sadness at the fact that people always recognized he was different and that was all that seemed to matter to them, and several other feelings that I couldn’t name. Confusion, I guess. And embarrassment.

The silence slowly built around us. I realized with a jolt that I
hadn’t answered Frank’s question. I peeked up at him and opened my mouth to speak, but stopped when I saw his face, twisted in what looked like regret. He glanced down as my eyes met his and messed with the laces on his shoes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

I shook my head to stop him. “It’s okay.” I shrugged, folding my arms across my chest. “I don’t know what’s wrong with Cliff. We’ve never talked to any doctors. I guess Dad and Mama have always just kind of hoped he’d grow out of it. But he’s ten now, so I guess he won’t.”

Frank looked away. I exhaled, releasing all the tension in my body. The air felt welcoming and cool again. I tapped my fingers on my arms, looking down at Cliff’s sleeping head close by my knees. “The only thing I know for sure about Cliff is that he’s the most amazing and special person I know.”

Frank smiled softly. “I think you and Cliff are both very special.” He dipped his finger into the pond, drawing little circles in the water. “That’s why …” He paused. “That’s why I asked you both to come here tonight.” He looked up at me. “I’ve never shown this little pond to anyone before. I just like to come out here to be alone sometimes and to sit and think.” Another pause. “But tonight, when I came out here, it was all quiet and still and all the baby tadpoles were darting around and I couldn’t help but wish …” His voice grew husky. “Well, I suddenly wanted you both to be here too. I guess that seems silly.”

My eyes lowered. “I don’t think it seems silly at all.” It seemed nice. Really nice, actually. He was quiet again. I was quiet as well, and I could feel the silence stretching around us, wrapping us up into this big blanket of something that felt thick and tangible and
real
.

Maybe that’s what our friendship was. It was the feeling that we didn’t have to speak or explain. We could sit in the darkness and watch the tadpoles just as easily as we could lie out in the heat and breathe in the smell of peaches and gravel, all without saying a word.

I ran my fingertips through the cool water. The reflection of the crescent moon quivered on the surface of the pond.

“And look at this moonlight.” Frank smirked. “You look absolutely smashing, Scarlett.”

I laughed and inched myself closer to the water. “Dad has a Bing Crosby record I listen to sometimes. It has a song called ‘Moonlight Becomes You.’ Juli thinks it’s silly, but I’ve always believed that everything looks better by the light of the moon. Don’t you think?”

A crisp evening breeze fluttered the tips of my hair. I wrapped a curl around my finger and began to sing softly. “Moonlight becomes you; it goes with your hair. You certainly know the right thing to wear. Moonlight becomes you, I’m thrilled at the sight. And I could get so romantic tonight …” I trailed off, my face heating.
Of all the ways to appear immature and childish, singing an old-fashioned song in a midnight grove is probably at the top of the list
. I cleared my throat. “I guess I have a sentimental attachment to old music. It’s just so much softer and happier, don’t you think?”

Frank didn’t answer. He was staring at my hair. It was loose and, I hoped, still falling around my shoulders in tousled waves.

Self-consciously, I brushed it out of my face. “I know, I know. I have really messy hair.” A half smile pulled at my lips.

He met my eyes with a grin. “You must have been a really cute kid, Scarlett.” His face suddenly grew serious, his eyes big and solemn. “Can I ask you one more question?”

“Shoot.” I tried to keep my smile loose, although I suddenly felt pinned under his stare.

Frank’s face turned serious. “This may sound kind of mean, but why don’t you have friends?” Seeing me tense, he leaned forward and grabbed my hand. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like … I just … you and Cliff are just so great, but no one seems to ever, you know, talk to you or anything. Why doesn’t everyone want to be close to you all the time? If they took the time …” He trailed off, and I
was subconsciously aware that he was still holding my hand, even though he seemed to have forgotten about it. “I know you had some problems with Cliff when he was little. Is that it?”

I took a deep breath and shook my head slowly. “Cliff’s always been kind of strange. You remember that time in church when he was six and he stood up and recited the Pledge of Allegiance in the middle of the pastor’s prayer?”

Frank nodded, a smile growing on his face. I figured he’d remember that. It was kind of an infamous story.

“Everyone stared at him and started whispering. I wanted to … ..” I bit back my words; I remembered the hot anger that had boiled beneath my skin that day. “The next day at school, I punched Billy Winters in the face for calling Cliff an idiot. I got sent home with a warning from my teacher, and the next day when I came back, all the kids in my class were giving me the silent treatment. Turns out Billy’s little girlfriend, Amanda Berkley, had told all the girls that I was a freak and me and my brother were contaminated with germs.” I ran a hand over the ground and dug in my fingernails. “So I didn’t talk to them anymore, and they didn’t talk to me. Well, to either of us. Cliff and I did our classes separately and then sat together at lunch, recess, and the bus ride. We avoided everyone, and everyone acted like we didn’t exist.”

“Oh.” Frank breathed the word; it escaped from his lips like a half-silent sigh. “I do sort of remember that now that you mention it. But I was never avoiding you—on purpose, at least. I was just never brave enough to talk to you, or to Cliff. Besides, I was older, so there was this whole thing about not talking to younger kids or risking …” He lowered his gaze. “You know how it is in grade school.”

I did know how it was in grade school. I don’t know why I expected him to say anything differently or come up with some good excuse as to why he had avoided me. It’s not like it mattered
now. “It’s okay.” I felt my chest deflate though. “I know how it is. That’s life.” I forced a fake smile.

Frank looked up and met my eyes. “No,” he said. “It was wrong of me. If I could go back, I would have talked to you that day when you punched Billy Winters. I would have talked to you every day for the past four years. I would have …” He trailed off, watching me. I could see the golden specks in his green eyes, half hidden under his thick eyelashes.

For a full three seconds, time froze. The air seemed to vibrate, humming some tune that I couldn’t quite hear. Every hair felt like it was standing up on edge under his gaze.

And then Frank climbed to his feet and brushed off his pants, and the moment was broken. The night was silent, except for the sound of crickets, and my heart had gone back to a relatively normal beat.

“Come on,” Frank muttered, lifting Cliff in his arms. He glanced at me. “It’s a good thing your brother’s so skinny.” He nodded for me to follow him and began heading back to the house.

I looked over my shoulder for one last glance of the soft moonlight filtered through the trees. Immature or not, I couldn’t help thinking that there never was a more beautiful night.

Car headlights blinded us as we walked up the driveway. For an instant, I froze, my heart beating.
Have Mama and Dad been looking for us? Were they worried?

Juli hopped out of her car. An oversized jacket was wrapped around her thin shoulders. Probably Ziggy’s.

She looked the three of us over: me huddled in my sweater and pajamas, Cliff sound asleep, and Frank hauling him in his arms.

Frank reddened. “Hi, Juli.” His voice sounded hoarse.

“Hello.”

I doubted Juli knew Frank’s name, or even who he was. Even though he’d probably been in all of her classes since sixth grade. She knew absolutely nothing about him other than the fact he was standing on our doorstep at one in the morning with Cliff in his arms. Which probably didn’t impress her much, given her recent appraisal of our little brother.