Chasing Dragonflies (18 page)

Shyla's little hands moved from Maddie's knees and were suddenly on her face. Maddie sat deadly still, confused. Why was Shyla touching her face? Her eyes moved to Dex who sat beaming at her and his daughter. Her tiny fingers travelled over Maddie's eyes, nose, lips and around to her ears. Then to the top of her head, she threaded her fingers through the strands of her hair and ran them through to the ends. A huge smile springing to her face and she turned back to her father.

“She's pretty isn't she daddy?”

Dex extended an arm around Maddie and smiled. “She's beautiful Shyla, just like you.”

A throat cleared and Maddie looked up to Melody still standing with her arms folded.

“How about you go get your new school stuff to show Daddy Shyla?”

“Okay,” she squealed and ran off down the hallway.

Melody turned to them both on the couch. “Do you want a coffee?”

“That would be great thanks Mel,” Dex nodded.

“Yes, please,” Maddie added.

As Melody left the room, Maddie turned to Dex. “You never told my Shyla was blind.”

Dex stiffened, “Is that a problem for you?”

“No, no of course not,” she moved her hand to his forearm. “No Dex, it just would have been nice if you had of told me, it's kind of an important detail.”

“That's all it is Maddie, a detail.”

“Here it is Daddy,” the little girl’s voice filtered back into the room. Shyla came running in with a little backpack. Plunging her hands into the bag she pulled out a pop-up drink bottle.

“And....and....and this is my drinking bottle. Mummy said no one else can share it, it's just for me.”

“That's so cool little one,” happiness radiated out of Dex's face as he spoke. “It sounds like you're going to have an awesome time at school hey. How many more sleeps?”

She held her hand up in front of her with all her fingers splayed. A huge grin on her face she proudly announced. “Seven.”

Maddie stifled a giggle.

“You are a clever girl aren't you?”

“Yes I am,” she nodded.

“Here you are, careful Shyla, I've got coffees for Dad and Maddie,” Melody announced as she entered the room.

“Come here little one,” Dex said reaching out and grabbing the child around the waist and hauling her onto the lounge, placing her between them both. Causing her to laugh, uncontrollably.

“Just sit still for Daddy, Shy.” Melody called out. “You don't want to get burnt again do you?”

Her bottom lip jutted out. “No, burning hurts, ouch, ouch, ouch,” she cried shaking her tiny little hand.

“Did you get burnt Shyla?” Maddie asked.

Melody visibly stiffened across the room. “It was nothing serious, she just grabbed a hot bowl of soup.”

“She wasn't accusing you Mel, she was just making conversation. Jeezus.” Dex said shaking his head in obvious frustration.

Melody crossed her arms over her chest in an obvious stance of self-protection, the tension in the room was palpable. Maddie tried to ignore it and carried on making small talk with Shyla. Asking her questions about her trip to the park and about her friends.

When she finished her coffee she excused herself and asked Melody if she could use the bathroom. She hated to use someone else's bathroom due to her fear of being in enclosed spaces, but she really needed to go. She should not have had a drink before she came out. Anyway it would be a relief to be out of the room with these two for a few minutes.

As she walked back down the hall, she could hear arguing in the living room. Not wanting to barge in, she waited. Curious as to what they were saying, even though she knew she shouldn't eaves drop, she strained to listen in anyway.

She could tell Dex was trying to stay calm, she could hear the underlying anger in his voice, and it sounded like he was gritting his teeth as he spoke. “She's my girlfriend, that's why. What's your problem with that? It's been four years Melody. Don't you think it's only fair that I get to move on? To find some happiness?”

Oh no, they were arguing about her being there.

“Because Linc, it's not fair for you to waltz in here and play happy families with Shyla and then just take her away.”

“Is that what you think this is all about?”

“Well isn't it?”

“She is my daughter Melody.”

Nothing, sobbing maybe? She couldn’t go out there now, but could not wait too much longer either.

“I only want what's best for Shyla, Melody. That's all I have ever wanted and you know that. I'm not going to come waltzing in here and take her away from you. But yes, I would like to have her come and visit some time. Dad misses her.”

“Well he knows where we live,” she spat.

“And you make him so welcome when he comes, don't you?”

Maddie decided now was a good time, she sucked in a breath and walked out into the living room. They both stopped talking and stared at her as she walked in.

“Okay sweetheart are you ready to go then?” Dex asked getting to his feet, all trace of anger she had heard in his voice was now gone.

“Sure,” she said looking around the room, “Where's Shyla?”

“She went into her room, I'll go get her.” Melody announced getting to her feet and walking off down the hallway in the direction that Maddie had just come.

“Is everything okay?” she questioned Dex.

“Yep fine,” he smiled, leaning forward and kissing her on the head.

“Bye Daddy, bye Maddie,” came Shyla's sweet little voice from behind them.

“Come and give Daddy a big hug missy,” Dex swooped the little girl into his arms, hugging her and kissing her chubby little cheeks. Then handed her to Maddie. She gave the little girl a gentle hug, then set her down on the floor.

“It was very nice to meet you, Shyla. I hope I get to see you again very soon.” See? Why did she use that word? She inwardly chastised herself.

“It was very nice to meet you too Maddie. I like Maddie. Mummy can Maddie come visit again?”

Melody looked to the little girl, then to Maddie and gave her a tight smile. “Sure Shyla. I am sure Maddie will come again.”

They walked out of the door and back to Dex's truck, all the while Shyla stood at the door with Melody.

“Bye, bye Daddy, bye, bye Maddie,” she called out over and over again.

***

As they drove away from the house, Maddie turned to Dex.

“Shyla is adorable.”

A massive grin crossed his face. “She is isn't she?”

She could tell he was very proud of his little girl.

“I don't think your ex-wife likes me very much though.”

His face suddenly changed at the mention of Melody, his hands gripped tighter on the steering wheel. A little colour drained from his face and he drove on not saying anything. Maddie suddenly felt a hint of tension, like she had felt at the house. It was something she was not familiar with. Dex had never been like this with her. Even when he had told her he didn't want to see her, he didn't exude this kind of anger.

Without warning, he sharply pulled the truck to the shoulder of the road. Turned it off and got out, slamming the door behind him. Maddie was perplexed. What on earth was going on? She looked in the rear view mirror and could see Dex pacing behind the vehicle, his hands on his beanie covered head.

Quietly slipping out of her own seat, she cautiously approached him.

“Dex? Baby? Is everything okay?”

He didn't answer her, he just kept mumbling something incoherent to himself. She managed to pick up the odd word here and there, something about “stupid” and “my fault”. Maddie looked around,
realizing
she did not recognise where they were. There were no houses, just bush land. A truck whizzed by, sending her hair flying with its draft wind. What was she to do? She had no experience with people in this kind of situation. Think Maddie...Asha would know what to do. Pulling her mobile phone from her pocket she realised there was no reception. Of course there wasn't.

Dex crouched down next the truck, on the side facing the bush. Head down, hands on his head. She squatted next to him and stroked a hand down his back. Not a word was spoken between them for what felt like hours, when in reality it was more like ten minutes. Maddie had a lot of experience with silence and long stretches, but this, sitting here with her man. Her heart was hurting, she wanted nothing more than to help, but how could she help when she didn't know what's wrong?

Eventually Dex lifted his head and studied her face. She offered him a small smile.

“We need to talk,” he said returning her sad smile.

“Yeah I think you're right,” Maddie nodded.

Dex rose to his feet and put his hand out to her, helping her to her feet too. He looked around, surprise flaring in his eyes as if he was suddenly realising he was parked on the side of the road.

“Not here. I know a little park not far from here. C'mon.”

Like nothing had happened, he walk to her door and opened it, helping her up into the truck, before returning to his side and climbing in. As he said, they soon arrived at small park. It had big trees overhanging picnic tables and benches. There was a small play area where a handful of young children played, watched on by their mothers, who seemed to be sharing a coffee and cake at one of the picnic tables.

Dex opened her door and helped her out, taking her hand he led her to a picnic table away from the busy group. He straddled the wooden bench and she sat facing away from the table. Looking to him expectantly. Worry etched his face, but the anger from earlier appeared to be gone.

“I have some stuff to tell you Maddie, but it’s really hard for me and I don't know where to start.”

Maddie reached out and took one of his hands in both of hers, looking up into his eyes. He did not pull away, so she figured that was a good start.

“Melody is not my ex-wife,” Dex blurted out in a rush of words.

She flinched at his words, as if he had hit her with them, she had not seen that coming. “Then who?”

“She is my wife's sister,” he let out a long sigh. “I should have told you all this earlier, I was just so scared I guess. Scared you would hate me and want nothing more to do with me.” He hung his head down, shaking it from side to side and pulling his hand from her grip.

“What is it Dex? What could possibly make you so worried? Now I am worried,” she huffed out a humourless laugh.

“Melody is my sister in-law. My wife died.” He lifted his head and searched her face. “The car crash I mentioned before. When I burnt my hip...my wife was driving the car. It was all my fault. It's my fault she is dead. It's my fault Shyla never got to meet her real mum. It's my fault Shyla is blind.” A tear slipped down his face. “I am so sorry Maddie...I am sorry, every fucking day of my life and I should never have let you be part of all this.” He waved his hands in front of him. “That's why I pushed you away in the first place, you don't need me in your life Maddie.”

“Hey, hey wait a minute, back up a bit here...” her voice became forceful. “Didn't you just say she was driving the car?”

“Yes, but it was my fault. I was such an idiot. I was drunk. She should never have been behind the wheel. She was way pregnant with Shyla. She was tired. We had been to a party and I was not meant to be drinking because she was due any day. I was an ass. We had a fight and so I went out the back and got rotten drunk with the boys. Then on the way home a roo jumped out in front of us. Issy swerved to miss it and hit a tree.”

Maddie reached out and cupped Dex's face in her hands, forcing him to look at her, his eyes were glassy. “Dex you can't blame yourself for that. It was an accident. A horrible accident.”

He leaned into her hand and kissed her palm.

“You are such a beautiful soul Maddie, that's why I love you. But I know if I had not been drunk that night, Issy would still be here and things would have been so different for Shyla.”

“You can't know that Dex. It could have been you that crashed the car. It might have been something else.”

“But Shyla...”

“She was pregnant with Shyla you said?”

“Yes, Oh Maddie, it was just awful. She lived for a few hours after the crash and they decided to give her an emergency caesarean to save
the baby’s
life. Her placenta was torn and Shy's oxygen supply was restricted,
which
is what they say caused her blindness.”

“So why does she live with Melody?”

“I was in hospital for a while after the accident. Issy's family thought it was for the best if Melody took Shyla home with her. They hate me, they all do. They made all the funeral arrangements and buried Issy before I even left the hospital.”

“Oh Dex...”

“Don't do that...see that's another reason I didn't want to tell you.”

“What?” she asked confused.

“That whole pity thing... you hate when people do that to you.”

“No Dex....I....”

He rose from the picnic bench and strode across the park, rubbing his head again. Maddie was worried and ran after him, wrapping her arm around his back.

“Dex, hey...”

He shook away from her.

“Oh no you don't.” Maddie rose her voice almost to a yell, then remembered the group nearby and gritted her teeth, to hold in her own anger. “You don't get to tell me all this, then walk away Dex, you don't want pity, fine. I won't give you pity. Your story is sad. Hell, you know my story and here I am.” She moved to stand in front of him, putting her hands on his chest. “Your wife's family? They are a bunch of assholes for letting you believe it was in any way your fault.”

“It was my fault Maddie, don't you see? I was an idiot and I was a drunk and if we never argued…”

“Bullshit!” she yelled, making him pull back. “No matter what you argued about. I don't care if you were the biggest asshole ever. She was driving the car. Not your fault. It was an accident. Shyla is your daughter. Your daughter Dex. Your wife's family burying her while you were in the hospital? I have nothing to say about that. I just cannot believe anyone would do something like that. She was your wife and you were not allowed the time you should have had to grieve. They are the assholes in this situation Dex...not you.”