Chasing Air (15 page)

“I don’t want to have any questions between us, Makenzie. I need to explain.”

“No. You don’t have to, it’s none of my business.”

He raised his hand and cut her off. “Petra Sharcova is a woman from my past and we dated casually for a couple of years. She’s a former model and quite a bit older than me. She also writes mystery novels which she uses as an excuse to stick her nose in detective work, and in my business. There’s nothing between us. I don’t love her and I never, ever told her I did. We just didn’t click like I wanted.”

“She’s very beautiful,” Makenzie said with a mischievous grin.

He raised his eyebrow at her and grinned, “So you know a thing or two about her, perhaps?”

“You’re not the only one who knows how to work the internet. But looks like both of us would’ve been better off just asking a simple question, huh?”

They both started laughing and Ryler pulled Makenzie into a tight, aggressive kiss. He pulled back quickly. “Is there anything else that I need to Google?” His laugh shook his body.

Her eyes widened and a cute grin touched the corners of her mouth. “Not unless you need ideas on how to give me more.”

“Baby, I don’t need Google for that.” In a quick move, he scooped her up and nibbled her lips while he carried her to the bedroom.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Ryler knew he would spend the rest of his life loving Makenzie, loving her heart full of compassion, loving the way she took care of her patients and fought for them, right from the very first night he met her. He knew her soul ran deep, the way she had invested herself with Rachel. He loved her protective qualities, the way she gave up her family to keep them safe.

When he looked at her standing beside the bed, he wanted to show his love for her in more than words. He had to slow things down in order to savor her body and give her the release she hungered for. He slowly pulled her shirt up over her head in between tender kisses, and she returned the favor.

She found his strong, muscular chest and took the opportunity to let her fingers dance across his tight flesh lovingly, biting her lip as she did so, fighting the urge to push him against the bed pillow and let her mouth take over.

He unfastened her bra and let it slip to the floor. With a quick tug, her yoga pants were piled on the floor. Just in her panties, she sat on the bed and had her fingers entangled in the buttons on his jeans. “You would have on button-ups, when I want you out of these?” She bit her lip at the hot, steamy look he gave her.

“Babe, we have all night and all day tomorrow.”

Her hands slowed at the sexy tone of his voice. She took the hint to slow down and savor the moment. With his jeans and boxers off, she gasped at the site of his full erection. Readily available to her, she took him in her hands and stroked the velvety skin. She held nothing back, giving him all of the pleasure her soft lips and tongue could give. She took all of him as he moaned softly while his hands twisted in her hair, aggressively. She tasted him as his blood pulsed through his veins and his moans became louder.

On his knees in front of her, their eyes danced in the flicker of the
candle beside the bed. “You’re so beautiful.” He took her hand to his lips, her heart skipped a few beats as he kissed her fingers, her shoulder and nibbled her neck, a little too much.

“Leave a mark that I have to hide from your mother and I’ll hurt you.”

“Tempting.” He played along.

She coaxed him onto the bed with her. He hovered over her, gazing into her beautiful, dark eyes and trying to control his desire to ravish her body. He slowly fondled her full breasts and bit at the tips. She heard her own gasps while she played with his hair and tried her best to pull him closer. Her hips rubbed against his thigh in between her legs and he felt the moist heat of her panties on his skin.

Her belly button was too tempting not to nibble and suck as his mouth made a sensual journey over the length of her body. She gave enough signs of what she wanted, but he teased her and made her wait. By the time he made his way to her moist curls, her channel was soaking wet and her nub was swollen in anticipation of his lips. It didn’t take much for her to rock against his mouth as he held her hips with both hands. She pulsed in pleasure, moaning his name, but he didn’t stop. Instead, he continued exploring her with his tongue until she cried out in rapture again.

Lying beside her, he drew slow circles with his fingernail around her ribs and across her hips causing her to shudder.

“You want more?”

“More, please,” she moaned.

He lifted her on top of him. She rocked back with wild eyes.

She wanted to show him how much she loved him and could match his performance in the bedroom. She raised her hips and lowered herself onto him while watching his facial expression change.

He grinned and showed his agreement, that for a moment, she was in charge. Intimacy and arousal coursed through her veins, and for a little while, she forgot about everything else in the world. She just let her inhibitions run wild while she took as much as she gave.

As he raised himself to her and sucked on her breast, her body arched and her release exploded around him. A stormy rain began to fall outside at the same moment her body thundered from release, which brought about his own climax.

She felt the pulsing of him inside her. The sultry feelings were too much at once and tears flowed down her cheeks.

He let them flow. He knew she needed to let go of all of her emotions, some of which she’d been holding back from him and everyone else for so long. “Let go, Makenzie. Let it all out. I love you, I’m right here, babe.”

For the rest of the night, they loved each other, heart, body and soul.

***

When the sun came up, Ryler opened his eyes to find the bed empty. As he searched the loft, he found a note from her about going out for a run.

He was curious why she hadn’t wanted him to go with her, but understood that she needed a moment on her own to clear her mind and deal with things. He took a shower and dressed. Her pantry was quite empty, so he made reservations for them to go eat brunch.

After a while, Makenzie still hadn’t returned. Ryler became worried, but he couldn’t call her because her phone was on the bar. When the elevator door opened to the lobby, he turned the corner to find her in a conversation with a man he didn’t know. He couldn’t see her face, but her words were strong and tense.

“I don’t want to see you anymore, I’m seeing someone else, Jonathan.”

“It’s that cop, isn’t it?”

Jonathan grabbed at her shoulder, but she jerked herself free just as Ryler approached. He kept his cool and remained quiet, but his eyes glared in disgust at a man pulling on someone he cared about.

“Jonathan, this is Detective Ryler Buchanan. Ryler, meet Jonathan Bain, a friend of mine.” She expressed the usual pleasantries, but the scene felt tense and far from enjoyable for any of them.

“We’re expected somewhere soon, so we’ll go now. Good to meet you,” Ryler uttered tersely.

Mak touched Jonathan’s arm, but her glance up to his eyes spoke so much more. It was a goodbye, and he knew it.

Makenzie showered while Ryler made himself comfortable in her bathroom just chatting with her. She took the time to explain her relationship with Jonathan. As she described in detail about what happened, she realized how grateful she was that they hadn’t slept together. She had no regrets. Ryler handled the situation without issue.

“Do you remember when we bumped into each other at the market, our first date?”

“Of course, I remember.”

“I heard you make a date with him that night at my house. I knew eventually you’d choose me, but I had to wait until you decided I was the better man.” He smirked.

“Better man, huh?” She paraded in front of him in a towel.

“Yes, do you need me to show you again? It’s only been, what, a couple of hours, but if you need reminding, I aim to please.” He said with a cocky grin, his blue eyes twinkling.

“You’re a bad boy, Buchanan, and that’s a hard offer to resist, but we need to go clean your place up and we have that pie date.” Her laugh got lost in the noise of her hair dryer.

While she finished getting ready, Ryler confirmed with his parents that they would be there for dinner and answered a million questions that his mother had over the news reports. She didn’t understand who Judith Donati was and why she was at his house with a gun. He promised to explain everything over dinner.

***

When they walked through the door of Ryler’s house, they simply looked at each other without speaking. The scene was in total chaos and looked worse than either of them remembered.

Ryler put on music and they did their best to displace the memory of the night before and attack the mess. Brody and several of the guys from the department came to lend a hand. Within a couple of hours, they had everything cleaned up and sorted for the most part, except for Ryler’s office. Years of files had been strewn everywhere. It would take him a day or so to sort them, so they just stacked the papers neatly and re-assembled the computer components and wall decor back to normal.

But it wasn’t really normal and never would be again
, Ryler thought.

Ryler was grateful that he had hardwood floors, otherwise he’d be replacing the carpet from the blood stains. The FBI and police had done a great job of cleaning up the homicide tape and evidence markers after they took all the photos and videos that they needed to clear the case. The biggest question Ryler had was whether or not Makenzie could stay at his place. He wanted to ask her, but decided to let her show him if she could. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and if they needed to find their own home, he was ready to make that move. It was time he let what was once a dream home go. Leaving everything in the past where it belonged.

Mak went to retrieve a bucket and mop from the laundry room. When she returned, Ryler and his buddies were out by the pool taking a beer break. She was alone in the house for the first time since the shooting.

She walked into the living room and immediately was submersed in a flashback of Drew taking two shots and falling over the ottoman. She shuddered at the memory of him dying. No matter how hard she tried to remove the scene from her thoughts, she couldn’t. The reality hounded her, she could actually hear the shots ringing in her ears.

She melted to the floor in despair and wept uncontrollably.

Taylor, a buddy from the force, came in to the kitchen to grab a bottle opener. He saw Makenzie, but she was completely unaware of him.

“Ry, Mak needs you. Now, he insisted when he returned to the patio.”

Strong arms picked Makenzie up and carried her upstairs to the guest room. She wept until she couldn’t any longer. Ryler rocked her on the bed and held her tightly until the anxiety finally subsided. He had his answer to the unspoken question.

“I’m putting the house up for sale tomorrow. I should’ve done it years ago. This was really Cyndi’s place and she didn’t want it anymore, I just never had the heart to let it go until now. I want us to have our own place, nothing with any ties to Cyndi or my past.”

Makenzie jerked away from him, “Why don’t you just say it? Get it off your chest. Say what it really is, a place that reminds you of secrets and lies,” she demanded.

“Because that’s not what it is and that’s not what happened. He was going to kill me, then Brody, and then you. Don’t you get it? Because you were strong and fought back, you don’t have to fight anymore. You don’t have to hide either.”

“I almost killed a man!” She burst into tears again and ran from him.

She grabbed her keys and ran all the way to her loft. She stripped off her clothes and stood under the shower, waiting for the water to cleanse her of her guilt, but it didn’t happen.

She took some medication and curled under the covers in bed, trying to hide from the world as she wept. She closed her eyes and finally, at some point, drifted off to sleep. When she woke up and looked at the clock, it was after eight o’clock in the evening. She wanted to text Ryler but realized that she left her purse and cell phone at his house. He had let her go, he didn’t try to stop her. They had a date with his family and amidst everything, she had blown him off. That made her heart even heavier.

She called his cell phone, but the voicemail picked up. She realized that he wouldn’t have recognized her home phone number. After few seconds, he phoned her back. She answered through her tears.

“I’m so sorry, Ryler. I didn’t mean to stand you up in front of your parents.”

“Don’t be sorry. Are you okay? I’m on my way.” She could hear him start his car.

“I’m not okay. I’m a wreck. Today at your place, everything crashed over me. I don’t know how to get through this. I’m so sorry.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. You left your purse and I’m bringing it to you along with something special from my mom.” He tried to smile, but he sensed her burdens through the phone. “I love you. I’ll give you space if you ask for it, otherwise I’m going to be right there beside you.”

There was quiet on the line for a pause, then Makenzie whispered, “I love you, too. Please don’t leave me.”

“Not a chance, my girl.”

While Makenzie waited on Ryler, she called her staff and scheduled some time off, then called Dr. Trynn and explained the circumstances in a shortened version and got the number for their grief counselors. She knew that self-medicating wasn’t the answer, that she needed counseling for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, but she also needed to come full circle with the domestic abuse she’d endured. It was the only way to have a healthy relationship with Ryler.

When Ryler arrived, he held her until she fell asleep. Then he slipped out of bed and took her cell phone out to the balcony so that he could call her family in private.