Chase the Storm (24 page)

we entered the barnthe first Sundayafter I’d returned.
“Isn’t it like ridinga bike?”I teased.

After a long kiss in his driveway the day I’d arrived, he introduced me to Catcher, a collie mix he’d adopted at an animal shelter about a week after I’d left. Kneeling, I rubbed Catcher’s ears and squinted expectantlyup at Chase.

Jealous the dog was getting more attention than he was, Chase took my hand and led me to the barn, where he introduced me to the new horses he was training. He was still living his simple life, but things were going better for the farm. He’d been training and selling consistently, even picking up a few clients on the rodeo circuit who referred Chase to their friends. He said he was busier thanever.

Holden was still there, huge and intimidating, but his velvet lips were gentle over my hand as he searched for treats. Chase told me about his training, how well he’d done, but how each time he’d gone to sell him, he couldn’t do it.

In the end stall stood Admiral, as regal as ever with his size and sleek coat. Curious, he hung his head over the stall guard and nudged me to welcome me back.

“Hey, old boy,”I greeted, pattinghis neck. “How’s he doing?” “Inthe prime ofhis life,”Chase replied.

Walking into the house was like stepping back in time. Nothing had changed, fromthe bowl centerpiece on the island to the music playing on the radio. It only confirmed the basic life he led, so far removed fromthe hustle of a city, and exactly where I wanted to be. Chase offered me a beer and I accepted, wandering into the living room. Like the kitchen, everything was the same, except for one thing. My heart skipped a beat, and, thinking my eyes had betrayed me, I stumbled to the mantel for a closer look.

Sitting between the pictures of Owen and Chase were two of me, both taken the weekend we’d gone to the auction in Madison. One had been taken just outside the inn the second morning there. I was leaning against his truck and had seen the camera in his hand but hadn’t realized when he’d lifted it, he’d taken a picture. He’d caught me mid-smile, my eyes downcast and my hat sitting low as I dipped my head. There was color onmycheeks, probablyas a result ofsomethinghe’d said.

The second picture I knew he’d taken. It was in the grandstands during one of the intermissions. The camera had captured our heads together, wide smiles, mine straight, his crooked, and our eyes literally sparkling. Biting my lip, I gaped at them as he walked in. Kissing my cheek, he handed me the opened beer.

“The pictures…,” I began, my voice trailing off when I realized I didn’t know what to say.
“This is where they belong,” he said softly, reading the reservation in the few words I’d spoken. “I can’t believe you’re home.”
“Did youever doubt I would be?”I asked. It didn’t matter ifhe had. Sometimes I’d wondered if I would ever find my way back to him, but then I would write his nightly letter and know my heart would direct my course, just like he had told me it would.
“Not once,”he confessed, lacingour fingers together.
We spent that night, and every one after that, sitting on the swing, only we weren’t alone. Catcher lay at our feet, loyally waiting for one of us to throw his ball or scratch his ears. I didn’t need to ask where Chase had come up with the name. I already knew. Just like the letters I had writtento feelclose to him, he’d named his dogto feelclose to me. Chase told me about the farm and asked questions about college. He listened carefully while I told himabout changing my major and coming out to my family.
After a long kiss, he murmured in my ear. “I’m so proud of you, angel.”
He led me to his room, where we slowly undressed, our eyes fixed on each other. We hadn’t even touched and I was already hard. Naked, he stepped close to me, running a hand up my side and smiling when I quivered fromthe touch. It had beenthree years since I’d felt the spark he ignited, and my knees weakened as the powerful craving coursed through me. Standing so close our cocks were rubbing along each other, he took my hand in his and guided it to his length. The second I touched him, his eyes fluttered closed and he pressed his lips to mine.
We had all night. We could have taken hours, but we found ourselves too desperate, and within seconds he was gently gliding his cock into me. I hadn’t bottomed since our last time together, and as much as I wanted himto slaminto me, he went maddeningly slow untilmy body adjusted to the intrusiononce again. Inmeasured thrusts, he moved above me, mylegs wrapped around his waist, our mouths constantlymeetingand exploring. His arms curved under my shoulders, his hands cradling my head. Groans escaped us as we neared orgasm, myhand furiouslymoving along my erection as he filled me again and again. I climaxed in a mixture of come and strangled cries of the name I’d waited three years to say. Chase came a few pumps of his hips later, his seed flooding me as he grunted my name. Still semi-hard inside me, he broke our kiss and lifted his head enoughso he could look into myeyes.
“I love you, Elijah,”he confessed reverently.
It had been three years in the waiting. Many lonely nights I’d imagined those words falling so effortlessly from his lips, and finally my dreams had come true. I warmed with his love, our love, now bound by words as wellas bodies.
Reaching up, I cleared the damp hair away from his eyes. “I love youtoo, Chase.”
I fellasleep withhis head onmychest as he held me securely. Warm and sated, he curled against me, his leg slung over mine, holding me down as ifafraid I’d get up and walk awayfromhim. As he drifted to sleep, and I fought it, I wondered how two bodies could fit so perfectly together. It wasn't just the way his hand felt in mine or the way our lips fit when pressed together, but the way our heartbeats synchronized, the way his deep breaths somehow instinctively matched my own, even in sleep. For the first night in a long time, there were no sounds of a city outside my window. It was the nickering of horses instead of sirens that lulled me to sleep.
It took a few days for me to believe I was really there and not just havinga fantastic dream. Eachtime I looked at him, up close or fromafar, my heart would swell with happiness equal to the anguish I’d felt for too long. I shared that painwithhimwhenwe were onthe swingone night.
He sat down and I remained standing. When he looked up at me worriedly, I said, “I need to show yousomething.”
Before he could resist, I ran upstairs to our roomand pulled out the wooden box of letters I had put in the closet. Returning to the swing, I sat next to himand placed the boxonhis lap.
“What’s this?”
“Openit,”I instructed, puttinghis hand onthe boxto encourage him.
He hesitated, his finger outlining the carved initial on the top before he opened it slowly, as if he expected something to jump out. He looked confused as he pulled out the first letter, dated the night after I’d returned to Boston.
“They’re not allinorder, but close.”
“Elijah,” he sighed as he scanned the first letter. I pretended not to see his eyes wellingup, and instead babbled about the letters.
“I didn’t want to forget anything, and I wanted… I wanted you to experience it all with me. Writing to you made it easier, like you were there withme everynight,”I explained.
Pickingup the next letter, he skimmed it. “But youdidn’t mailthem.”
“You told me not to contact you,” I reminded him. Placing the paper inthe box, he curled a hand around myneck and drew me to him.
“Thank youfor these. I want to read everysingle one.”
“It will take you awhile, there’s one for almost every day I was gone.”He deepened the kiss, showingme just how gratefulhe was.
Over the next few days, I caught him reading the letters when he thought I wasn’t around, his lips mouthing the words he read. He sometimes closed his eyes for a few seconds before continuing. Sometimes he asked me questions, especially about Justin, but mostly he would find me and kiss me, telling me he loved me and thanking me for comingback to him.
As we stood in the open doors of the barn, Catcher bounced his tennis balloffmyfeet.
“I actually rode a few times during the summers,” I told Chase. Bending over, I picked up the ball and pitched it out the other end of the barn, watchingthe collie sprint after it.
“Missed it?”he smiled
“Yeah, a lot.”
“I can’t imagine not being able to ride,” he said. I went to get one of the new horses, but Chase put a hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you ride Admiral,”he offered ina hushed tone.
I looked into his storm-free eyes, for the first time finding themfullof future possibilities and not haunting memories. I pressed my lips to his in a light kiss.
“Are yousure?”
“Yes. You’llbe fine,” he said with a sigh, nodding. I knew his words weren’t to reassure me but himself.
Eager to show me Holden’s progress, Chase opened his door and led himout. While he groomed the big bay, I put Admiral in the crossties. He stood patiently, enjoying the extra care I gave himwhile I brushed his coat. Once they were both tacked up, we led them to out of the barn. Chase halted Holden and easily swung up into the saddle. It took a bit more effort for me to swing my leg overAdmiral’s sloping back. I tried to ignore how highoffthe ground I was and gathered up the reins.
“Been too long.” Chase laughed at my awkwardness. “You need to get back into shape.”
“I will,”I promised.
His eyes twinkled as he urged Holden into a slow jog. Nudging Admiral’s sides with my legs, I held on tight as he jogged to catch up to Chase. Catcher trotted along next to us as we headed out to the field. Chase was a few yards in front of me, and I watched him for signs of distressstiffshoulders or furrowed browsbut he was relaxed, an easy smile on his face when he turned to make sure I was following. He hadn’t told me where we were going, but I alreadyknew.
Once Admiral and I caught up to Chase, we fell into a slow walk together, the horses ambling along as Catcher investigated scents and sounds in the grass. I watched Chase’s hips roll with Holden’s motions, shifting my weight when I saw his long fingers wrapped around the leather reins. Smirking, he shook his head, and I chuckled at havingbeencaught.
“Insatiable.” He laughed, then motioned to Admiral and asked, “How’s he feel?”
“Amazing,” I answered honestly, running a hand under his mane. “He’s so strong, but gentle.”
“Owenused to callhimhis gentle giant.”I expected his voice to take on the sad tone it usually did when Owen was mentioned, but it didn’t appear. “Want to reallyfeelhimmove?”
“Youthink I’mreadyfor it?”
“Definitely,”he reassured.
Before I could disagree with him, he kicked Holden’s sides, and they took off at a gallop. Admiral shook his head, eager to catch up. Holding my breath, and the saddle horn, I loosened the reins and without evena squeeze ofmylegs, he lunged forward. Inground-eatingstrides, he flattened his body out and easily caught up to Chase and Holden. To ease the strain on Holden, Chase was leaning slightly out of the saddle as he gave him directions. When he glanced to his side and saw us nearing, he grinned and encouraged Holden to go faster. Admiral accepted the challenge and sprang forward, and in two huge strides, we were in a race. Standing in the stirrups, I clucked in Admiral’s ear, promising him many treats if he pulled ahead. His ears flicked back and forth and his speed increased even further. Holden was half a hand taller and much younger, but Admiral wasn’t going to be beaten. Chase was laughing as Admiral and I began to pull away, my thighs burning with the effort of not toppling to the ground.
It was more freeingthanI’d ever imagined it to be.
Muscles moved under me with raw power and strength as the wind rushed by me. My heart hummed with exhilaration, and I glanced at Chase to find him urging Holden faster. It was close to a half a mile later we finally slowed the horses to a walk. Once Admiral had pulled ahead, he’d never let Holdenmatchhis pace.
Letting Admiral have his head, I leaned forward and patted his lathered neck. He was breathing heavy, his head swinging low as he moved. He’d walked the route so manytimes, I was certainhe needed no guidance. Catcher hadn’t been able to keep up with the horses, but once we slowed, he could be heard weaving through the grass. Chase was once again even with us, Holden walking much like Admiral as they both caught their breath. The look of joy had faded on Chase’s face as we neared our destination, but it wasn’t replaced by grief. It was a serene look, peaceful and calm. Looking ahead, I saw a massive lone willow tree, its long branches practically reaching out to touch us, the dangling leaves rustling in the wind. It was a beautiful place for a wedding, or eternalrest.
Except for the horses’ breathing and hoofbeats, we rode in silence the rest of the way. It’d taken three years for Chase to reach the point where he was able to let one lover go and fully accept another into his heart without guilt. With this final act, we’d come full circle in our relationship. We were back ineachother’s arms, readyto start the rest of our lives together, following
our
path of happiness. I understood the significance of what he was doing, and admired him even more for doing it.
At the tree, Chase pulled Holden to a halt before swinging his leg over to dismount, waitingwhile I did the same. WithHolden’s reins inone hand, he held his other out to me. Taking it, I walked by his side toward the tree as the horses and Catcher followed us.
The grave was simple, much like I’d imagined it would be. Asmall, arched piece of charcoal granite stood proudly near the base of the tree. It was well tended, spotless, with fresh flowers sitting in front of it. Chase had beenout there recently, perhaps to tellOwenI was back.
Owen McKenzie
October 13, 1973-March 23, 2006
Loving husband turned angel.
Beneath the words was an engraved horse head, looking very much like Admiral’s.
Tightly holding my hand, Chase looked at me without an ounce of doubt in his eyes, smiling brightly and easily before looking down at the grave ofhis husband.
“Owen, I’d like youto meet Elijah.”