Charming The Warriors (The Charmer) (32 page)

             
“Where are we… why are you still …gone?”

             
“It won’t be long Zara, I have to stay a while longer, I’m sorry I can’t be there for you in person, but I am there in heart and soul. Remember I’m always with you. I put myself to sleep hoping to get to you through a spell, but you came to me before I could get to you.”

             
“How do I come back to you, I don’t know what I did?”

             
“You can’t sweetie; you need to trust me for now, ok?” She tells me sternly with desperation laced in her tone.

I nod my head to her, unable to
argue with her.

             
“Listen Zara, don’t lose hope, it’s tough now, but keep hope?”

             
“I deserved this didn’t I, for loving Parrise, even Den, while I was in love with Sallack?”

             
“NO, don’t think like that sweetie, it’s who you are, the most positive part of who you are, loving these men who need you to show them what real love is. it’s Sallack who is in the wrong, never speak like that again! I love you Zara.”

             
“Ditto.”

I can feel Angus in despair. H
e seems scared in some way, I push myself awake needing to see him safe.

              “ZARA. PLEASE” Angus roars, holding me so tightly.

Did I pass out fr
om the pain in my heart? Dallah! I went to her in her dreams! How can she ask me to fight this pain, it’s so raw, I can barely see, the tears won’t stop, my eyes are sore for trying to shut of the tears. Sallack, why would he do this? What have I done for him to do this to me. He must
hate
me to put me through this, he said he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me, He did.

             
“Angus I can’t cope…Dallah …said to fight….I .cant… stop,” I whisper through the violent sobs.

             
“Fucking hell Zara! I will rip of his head, then the heads of every Wolf!”

Tears frame his eyes threatening to spill.
I’m trying to think of Dallah, Den and Angus. Nevertheless, it does not work; all I see is Sallack’s handsome face, lying with me in bed after making love, him smiling at me, stoking my cheek, telling me he will never hurt me!

             
“Angus, please tell me that wasn’t Zara’s scream. TELL ME?”

Ruk
storms into the bedroom, which I am guessing is mine, as the brother’s, follow him in, no Den.

             
“It was. She’s can’t take the pain in her heart, there is nothing we can do, Sallack is ripping her heart out, killing her with heat break!”

             
“I don’t understand, what happened? Her scream was not humanly possible?”

Ruk has taken me from Angus’s arms, tenderly placing kisses on my forehead and stroking my hair, while I struggle to breathe through the tears and the constant pain in my heart.

              “She’s different! Don’t ask how, I won’t tell you. However I will tell you this; your Alpha took another in his bed! She is heartbroken in no way imaginable.”

             
“He wouldn’t do it! He couldn’t hurt her like that!”

             
“Are you fucking serious! look at the child in your arms and say it again DOG!”

Ruk ignorer’s the shouting
and looks strait in to my eyes, as my pain somehow worsens, becoming cruel, merciless.

             
“Oh Zara, I’m so sorry. I will kill him myself!” He says angrily.

             
“Nooo..please…I need..him, he told me ..he ..loves.. he?”

             
“Zara, Please!”

I put my face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his overwhelming scent.

              “Angus where is Dallah. They are inseparable, why is she not here?” He asks sounding confused.

             
“She has been here, but she had to leave,” Angus replies knowing that something is going on and that I don’t want the brothers’ to know about it. I’m held tightly within Ruk’s arms, I don’t know if everyone has been here for moments or hours, to be honest I just don’t care.

              I am ripped from Ruk arms and into the arms of Parrise.

             
“WHERE IS HE, TELL ME NOW?” Parrise shouts, almost deafening me. No he can’t do it, I don’t want Sallack hurt. I hate him for doing this but I love him more, I want him to take it all back I need him to.

             
“Zara open your mind to me fully, I need to see why your feel so much pain, why it’s breaking you so badly little one?”

I don’t do what he asks of me. I just see
Sallack’s face telling me he is sorry and the agony in my being. I need him to take it back, take it all back. I
need
him.

             
“If he comes near the house, remove him. She can’t handle it, do you hear me! I, we need to keep her here, safe, or everyone dies!”

In addition,
they do, they all sit with me in my room. I am surrounded by those who love me, but I don’t see them I only see Sallack’s perfect face smiling down at me, while I’m wrapped in his large arms. however, it will never be true, just a wicked delusion.

              I fall asleep from exhaustion last night In the arms of Parrise. This morning I wake in the arms of Mickey. I feel dead inside, the tears have not stopped nor the excruciating pain. My heart ache is still raw, I just sit suffering, alone with my own sorrow. I have lost Sallack forever, he has broken me in every way imaginable.

             
“Baby, do you want a drink?”

I can’t answer Dom whose seated next to us on the bed, my mind is to full of despair. I want Sallack to be who he was yesterday morning lying here beside me.

             
“What can we do for you?” Mickey asks full of emotion.

I look deep into his eyes, feeling
completely lost.

             
“Un break my heart!” I say with my heartbreak coming through in my voice. I shut my eyes again not wanting to see the look of sadness on the brothers’ beautiful faces. Dom starts growling in anger as he storms out of the room, seeing me in this hurting him, hurting them all. I wish I could stop this heartache and forget, but instead it hits harder with every hour that goes by.

              I start to think of my parents. How my mother did not want me, gave me away! A father that may not know I exist, and if he does, he has also left me. It won’t be long until Den, Dallah, the brothers’, Angus and Parrise leave me too. I don’t want to keep hurting. I don’t want to love any man, like I did Sallack again. I don’t want to be this Charmer!

Chapter
24

The days pass slowly. I can’t speak, just cry. I pray for this Warlock to come for me it would be less painful. Den comes back at some point but I try to avoid him at first as he just reminds me of the time I lost my heart to him. I’m going through it all again, but at least with Den I didn’t give him my all, never have I felt so distraught.

             
I don’t see anyone. I know they are there, I just don’t see them. Today is a little different, I wake with Ruk beside me asleep in my bed, Den is in the chair opposite me just sitting, watching me wither away. I get up slowly on shaky legs walking to him, he watches me closely as I climb onto his lap, fisting his shirt.

             
“Zara, I love you babe” He tells me meaning every word.

             
“Ditto” I use his words as the thought of saying ‘love’ again is too painful.

             
“Come on lets have some tea.”

He walks me into the
kitchen; I think he’s going to put me down so I hold on to him for dear life. I need to be held, the feeling of having someone love me is keeping me sane.

             
“Please never let me go Den?” I cry into his neck, taking deep breaths of his calming scent.

             
“I won’t let you go. Ever,” He says as I feel a single tear slip down his neck.

             
I take a few sips of tea and it stays down unlike yesterday. No one has mentioned Sallack’s name, which I’m grateful for.

              Later in the day I sleep for an hour wedged on the couch between Den and Ruk. Even with them so close, I feel lonely, I want so desperately to visit Dallah again. Why would she tell me not to? The brothers’, Parrise and Angus have asked me repeatedly; where is Dallah? I can’t answer them, as I don’t know; I just shake my head ‘No’, thankfully stopping any further questions. My thoughts taken by Dallah don’t stay long before Sallack’s handsome face imprints my vision.

             
“I need to see him.”

             
“No you don’t babe, trust me.” Den tells me sternly.

             
“I do, ask him to come. I need to see him.”

He sighs, looking at Ruk for answers, a few moments later he says,

              “Ok but we will stay here with you all of us.”

I nod my head in agreement.

              No more than three minutes later growling and howling deafen me. I swallow the lump in my thought and brace myself to see the man who killed my heart. The tears fall and they won’t stop, I’m not sure they ever will. I stand on shaky legs waiting for Sallack to enter the room, I drop to the floor at the sight of him. Unbearable pain in my heart takes over my body.

             
“Please Sallack, it hurts, what did I do to you, for you to hurt me so bad?” Sallack’s tears slip down his handsome chiseled face. He’s crying for our lost love. The man who has never shed a tear in his life! He sits on the floor with me, all the pack brothers’ are scattered in the room looking upon us. My head fall’s into his lap as I grab his jeans trying to pull him closer to me, but I can’t be so close to him, it makes the heartache worse, I just want him to love me, like I love him.

             
“Beautiful, I’m sorry for what I did, let me love you Zara?”

Every man in the room growls so loudly at his words, I feel the room shake. I do need him to love me, but I would never be able to trust him again if I gave myself to him.

              I feel myself slipping away as I did before, my heartbeat slows dangerously as darkness takes me to what feels like a visit to hell.

             
I come back around in Ruk’s arms, his head in the crook of my neck. When he holds me I can breathe again, the warmth of this breath on my sensitive skin calms me. I feel like I have just returned from death, maybe I have! I take a few shaky breaths and turn in Ruk’s arms, holding his arms tightly against me to face Sallack whom is growling ferociously. I wait for what seems like half an hour to speak, my chest giving in, doubling over in pain. Ruk supports my weight in his solid arms.

             
“Let me speak then you have to go. Ok”

             
“Beautiful?”

             
“Don’t!” I tell him sorrowfully. He looks so beaten I want to wrap my arms around him but it’s impossible, he did this to us!

             
“I love you Sallack, I wanted everything with you. You were meant to be my mine to love. You broke me Sallack! I thought it impossible but you did. I gave you everything I had” I catch my breath readying myself to finish what I need to say. With every word I speak, my heart breaks a little more. “I don’t want to be the broken hearted girl Sallack. Don’t cry for us, this was your doing! I was yours
forever
. You’re the one who did not want
me! I would die for you! I want to die because of you! It’s not fair,” I take a deep breath and wipe the flowing tears as I ask,

             
“Why would you let me love you knowing that I was not good enough to be with you?”

             
“No Zara, that is not true, you’re too good for me. I fucked up so bad beautiful please don’t leave me.”

             
“How can you ask that of me Sallack? I have already given you everything. You have lied to me all this time and kept her your dirty little secret.” I cry.

             
“It was just the one time I would do anything to take it back I swear.”

             
“Stop. One time is enough. Do you love her?”

             
“No I love you!”

             
“I love you Sallack at the same time I love Parrise but I didn’t act on it. There is no excuse for what you did.”

             
“You need to get the fuck out, NOW!” Den shouts at him angrily.

             
“Don’t even bother Den I will…”

             
“Sallack please go!” I tell his through my tears.

With
that, he walks straight up to me and kisses my forehead, I lean into the kiss desperately wanting everything that has happened to be untrue. He leaves the house, my life, never my heart.

             
“Don’t leave me like this, I’m so lonely without you,” I whisper to him as he walks away. He turns to look back at me, the sun shining on the side of his handsome face. He rips the shirt of his body shifting into his Wolf as I watch him run away from my love.

              I have to find Dallah somehow; I can feel her in my broken heart with grief of her own. Why won’t she let me visit her dreams again? I want her to be the one to tell me I’ll be fine, because if she believes it then maybe I could. She needs me as much as I need her I know she does, she just won’t admit it. Why have I only just found out now that I can dream walk, and with Dallah refusing me, what is the point of having the gift!

              Tonight, Angus turns up alone telling me ‘Parrise is dealing with an issue’, I simply nod my head and carry on staring at the turned off television.

             
“It will get easier in time Zara, we all love and care for you. Are you sure you don’t want me to kill him?”

             
“I’m sure.” I whisper to him.

             
“Speak to me sweet, let me be here for you?” Dom walk’s in and pats Angus on the shoulder, When did this happen? He sits beside me stoking my hair like I’m a lost child. Angus is kneeling in front of me on the couch watching me, waiting for me to talk to him.

             
“Ok you want me to let you in, then I will. But it’s dark and lonely?”

             
“Tell us Zara it will help. Don’t bottle it up, sweet.” I sigh, looking down at my hands while I speak.

             
“I miss lying in bed with him, his whispering loving words to me. Holding me against his perfect body.” I wipe my tears and carry on, “Im haunted when I close my eyes all I see is him! My tears won’t dry. Why won’t they stop?” I look at them in the eye, “I feel like I’m dying and I want to, I want this feeling to end, the memories, the nightmare of replaying the night it happened. Why couldn’t he love me like I needed him to? Why Her? I love him more then she can or will. Why is it always other woman never me. Am I cursed?”

Angus looks down at my hands, squeezing the
m gently. I can feel how heartbreaking this is for him to see me in this way as I do all the brothers’, but Parrise he just wants to kill everyone! Dom strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers.

             
“He loves you Zara. He made a huge mistake, but he loves you gorgeous. He doesn’t know why he did it, maybe he was scared?” Dom tells me, but I shake my head ‘no’ not believing his words.

             
Den shouts for Dom to come to him in the kitchen, before he leaves he kisses my forehead. Angus takes the seat next to me, lifting me into his lap with a sigh.

             
“Zara, you’re not cursed, he is now for losing the best thing life had to offer him.”

             
“That’s just it, I don’t want to have to go through this until I find my chosen, how can I?”

             
“Not all men are like that dog! Don’t judge us all on him.”

             
“I know. can you come in the kitchen with me?” I ask him.

We get up and go into the kitchen where
Den sits with Ruk, Mickey, Julian and Dom. They all watch us enter, as they silence their hushed words. I sit on the free chair, looking at all of them in turn.

             
“I love you guys for being here for me, but you shouldn’t be here, sad.”

             
“We won’t leave you, we can’t, we need to be with you Zara, you need to understand how much we love you.” Mickey tells me.

             
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I love you all so much, I pray to God you never have to feel sadness of any kind, but here you are,
sad.
I’m sorry this is hurting you all.”

Before they can
answer, I get up and walk out the front door and straight down to the walking trail. I’m going to try and walk of the pain.

             
“Zara?”

             
“I need to be alone Ruk” I don’t even bother turning around, I can’t look at the dejection in his eyes, I just need to be alone.