Charles Palliser (96 page)

It nearly broke my heart to part with it. Johnnie is cruel to make me give it up. But I shall redeme it one day. How it brought it all back to me. Those horible pawn-shops!

The things that Peter told me. All that happened then. I cannot sleep for thinking of it.

2 o’clock.

I have told Helen everything. Papa’s death. My marriage that was no marriage. Who Johnnie’s Father is. Everything. She has given me a sleeping-draught.

The 18th. of October.

Such sweet dreams.

The 5th. of November.

She says I must start to keep a record.

2.

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The 8th. of November.

3.

The
9
th. of November.

3.

The 10th. of November.

5.

7.

6.

9.

10.

December.

11.

10.

12.

11.

14.

14.

13.

11.

15.

14.

14.

January.

17.

12.

14.

15.

18.

18.

19.

17.

19.

20.

24.

The
19
th. of May.

It has been very bad. I did not believe I could live through so much, but with Helen’s help I have done it. I shall never take that wicked stuff again.

The 22nd. of June.

What a sad Story! How unlucky she has been! Almost as unlucky as I. Lady Mompesson sounds a hard woman. To be so vindictave! Perhaps I was wrong ever to think they would mean well by me.

The 16 th. of July.

They have found us! That man! That horible tall man! Who followed Peter that night and who tried to abduct Johnnie in Melthorpe. We cannot stay here. But how did they know where

No. 27 Golden-square. The 19th. of July.

She recieved us so kindly that I was overcome. I was wrong to let Johnnie persuade me not to trust her. She does not hate me at all. I once believed she had disliked me as a girl for I had so many things and she had nothing. But THE WEDDING NIGHT

439

after all I was kind to her then. I gave her my old dresses to make up when she had nothing. And if she has disliked me and sought revenge, then after all … I believe I did her wrong. But how could Helen have betrayed. I cannot bear to think of it.

The 20th. of July.

Mr Steplight is such a funny little man but he is very courteous. Quite the gentleman.

I don’t believe Jemima likes him at all.

Great-Earle-street. The 22nd. of July.

Will it never come to an end. Just when I believed we were safe at last. How I wish I had … I cannot bear this place and these awful people. But how does he come to have the bill! Johnnie must not know that our Enemy has it, for now that we are in his power …

The 23rd. of July.

I have the most dreadful presentament about Johnnie, that I might never see him again. When he had gone with Mr Steplight I cried and cried. But at least he will be safe now.

The 26th. of July.

Mr Steplight’s man has still not brought the money he promised. Mrs Fortisquince didn’t come to visit me yesterday, but I expect her later today.

The 28th. of July.

Mr Steplight has not come, though he must have returned to Town by now. I want to know how Johnnie is. Mrs Fortisquince came today. She said that Charity to me was a waste of money because I would only spend it. Why is she so The girl says she will get it for me. I have enough for just a little. No more for I cannot bear to go through all of that again.

1.

The 13th. of August.

Only a few shillings left and the horible man here has told me what will happen to me unless the balance is paid within two days: I will be brought before the magistrate and comited. I must go to them for help. He has agreed to escort me to their house for ten shillings. My last coins. We will go tomorrow.

1.

I am lost. Mr Assinder, the steward, recieved me and when I had explained everything he went to consult Sir Perceval. When he came back he said that Sir Perceval had told him to say that he had nothing to comunnicate to me and that he did not wish to be bothered on this subject any further. Now that Johnnie is safe they do not care what happens to me!

2.

The Common-side. The 18th. of August.

This is the first time I have been able to write since they brought me here. It was so humiliating. There is nothing worse that they can do to me. At least Johnnie is safe.

2.

The 20th. of August.

He is still here! I never liked him. I thought him worse than his frend. I shall have nothing to do with him, though his letter seems frendly and kind.

The Master’s-side. The 30th. of August.

The woman who nursed me while I was ill and who I believed was doing so from mere goodness of heart, was being paid by him! She told me so (though 440

THE CLOTHIERS

at his insistance she had undertaken not to) and I sent him a note. Her husband is the man he chums with — as they call it here. It was he who had me moved. He is coming when I am better recovered.

The 2nd. of September.

He has explained so much! I cannot write more until I have thought about it!

The
3
rd. of September.

He has been very ill and is still in danger of his life. He is so kind. I was wrong about him. He has worked everything out from what I have told him. He says he fears that Mrs Fortisquince betrayed me though he says he cannot guess why for he never specculates.

She has allowed me to be sent to this place. Perhaps it was even she who told my Enemy where I was. (Yet I cannot understand why Helen betrayed me. Or why Sir Perceval would not help me.) But he tells me not to specculate beyond what I know for sure. He never tries to guess the motives of other people beyond what he sees is manyfestly in their own interests. As for how old Mr Clothier came to have my bill — he says that Mr Sancious must have sold it to him. But how did those two come to join forces against me?

The 4th. of September.

He says he wishes he could get me out of here, but he cannot help me because he has nothing and is still deeply in debt himself. He is trying to raise enough to take the Rules.

He got into debt by once acting against his most deeply held principals, when he backed a bill for a frend who had mismanaged his affairs so that he was in danger of losing his trading connexion. (And he lost it anyway and they were both sent here.)
The 6th. of September.

He has fallen very ill again and his life is despared of.

The 8th. of September.

Such sad news of Mr Pentecost. I am frendless again. I can now- think of only one person to whom I can turn for help. But can I recal her address?

No. 12 East-Harding-street. The 10th. of September.

Thank heavens I thought of her! She has been kindness itself and I am now safe and have everything I could wish for. She came as soon as she recieved my letter and made all good with the authoraties by standing bail for me so that I can take the Rules and live as an out-prisoner. They know her well for she has helped other women in this way for her house is within the Rules. I don’t know how I will ever repay her. When I told her that, she ordered me not to think of such matters until I was well and strong. She
is
good.

The 13th. of September.

I told her about Helen’s betrayal of my trust and she was very horrorfied and vowed to cut her if she should ever encounter her again. She has introduced me to some of the other ladies who board with her. I only spoke to them very briefly, but they seem very pleasant. One of them told me they recieve a great deal of company. It has been so long since I have been in good company. She has promised to buy me a new gown so that I may recieve. She is really very generous, and as she says, in this world we have to help one another. I have everything of the best now: a maid to wait upon me and my own bed-chamber, and everything just as I like it.

The 14th. of September.

She has ordered me a beautiful new silk gown from the dress-maker. I do not know how I will ever pay her for it or when I will ever need to wear it, but she tells me not to worry about that.

THE WEDDING NIGHT

441

The 15th. of September.

She tells me she wishes me to recieve visiters now. I hardly liked to decline since she has been so very kind, but I don’t understand why her frends should wish to see me.

However, I said I would do so. Mrs Purviance said I would be able to wear my new dress. So I am to go into company for the first time tomorrow.
The 16 th. of September.

Thank heavens he is safe! That is all that conserns me now. It hardly matters what happens to me.

The 16th. of September.

Must leave here but I have no cloathes — save those she has given me — which she says belong to her — and no money and where could I go? I keep thinking of those creatures by the wall along the Privy-gardens!

The 18th. of September.

She tells me I am a fool and do not understand how the World wags, that no-one obliges anyone for nothing and I cannot have been so foolish as to believe that. I must be a disembling hussy and she will put up with my prevarracations no longer.

The 23rd. of September.

I am followed in the streets. If I tried to escape they would accuse me of stealing the dress.

The 24th. of September.

One of the women will help me to obtain it, she says.

The 25th. of September.

Thank heavens! There is one person here who is kind. Now I shall not care so much what happens to me.

1.

The 4th. of October.

I met Helen today! Here, in this very house! She went quite red with shame when I reproached her. So Mrs Purviance has been lieing to me. She has been sheltering her at another of her houses. To mislead me in that way! I must get away. I have done wrong. I have been so foollish.

3.

The 7th. of October.

I have been ill again. She was very unkind to me. I don’t know why I am writing this any more for he will never see it. I will destroy it. He must never see me again. He must never know the Truth about me.

5.

The 9th. of October.

5.

The 13th. of October.

6.

The 28th. of October.

7.

9.

6.

9.

10.

The Veil

Speculation is surely foolish. Who can say what another individual’s motives really are?

They can never be known, and so it is surely wiser and juster not to speculate. All that can be said in this case is that Mr Vulliamy acted in a certain way. I cannot say if he was moved and angered by what he had heard, or whether he was motivated by self-interest and vengeance because of what Mr Sancious had just told him.

I must, however, begin with Mr Sancious. As he walks through the frozen streets blowing on his gloved hands he is surely unaware of the preparations for the festive season going on around him. Otherwise preoccupied, he makes his way towards the dingy counting-house by the old wharves.

When he arrives in the outer office he finds only Mr Vulliamy and the boy.

“Good afternoon, Mr Sancious,” the former says. “Mr Clothier is on High ’Change.

He is expecting you at this hour and will be back presently.”

Mr Sancious takes the managing-clerk by the arm and leads him to the inner end of the office, leaving the boy sitting by the door. In a low tone he says: “This is a bad business, Mr Vulliamy.”

The clerk shakes his head: “Never seen anything like it. Not even in ’97 when I was no older than that younker. (That was a bad winter, too.) That was when the Bank of England suspended payments for the first and (as we hope) the last time.”

Mr Sancious shudders and says: “The latest news in from the country is of three more provincial houses closing. I’ll tell you frankly, I’ve been badly burned myself and am frightened for worse.”

“I’m sincerely sorry to learn that, Mr Sancious. I pity all the poor widows and orphans who have lost everything. All those fatherless families, bless ’em.” He wipes his hand across his eyes. “It’s a sorry Yuletide they’ll be keeping. Though for myself, why, the truth is that someone in my position is hardly any worse off.”

Mr Sancious looks at him doubtfully and shakes his head. Then he says: “Are you sure of that?”

“Sure as I could be. Why, I have nothing to lose, I thank heavens.” He 443

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CLOTHIERS

laughs. “Mr Clothier has my paper to the tune of three hundred pounds. And so, far from having money, I’m deeply in debt and can be made no worse off by this.”

“But the old man will be hit by it. And quite badly. They say Quintard and Mimpriss are close to breaking. So he’ll surely want his pound of flesh from you.”

For a moment the clerk looks alarmed. Then he smiles: “But my three hundred pounds won’t make any difference, bless you, sir. And anyway, he knows I can’t pay it. It suits him to keep it dangling over my head.”

“But you haven’t understood me, my good old friend. I am referring to the fact that you’re, in effect, the Pimlico and Westminster Land Company. You must know there’ll be no question of selling the freehold of any of those houses now.”

Mr Vulliamy looks at him in surprise: “That’s true enough, sir, but as I say, it makes my position no worse.”

“But you’re mistaken, my dear friend. By heavens, I’m glad to have caught you alone.

There’s been something on my conscience I’ve wanted to tell you for a long while. Your employer has been speculating in bills with the company’s capital and, as you’ll conceive in the present panic, he has lost heavily. There’s no choice now but to declare the company bankrupt. And when that happens, the creditors will put you in the Marshalsea.”