Charlene Sands (6 page)

Blue took her in his arms and held her. No words were necessary now. Nothing they could say would match what they’d both experienced. Jenna closed her eyes, content and sated, with Blue Montgomery by her side.

Just like she’d always dreamed.

He left her lazy and rumpled in their bed and went downstairs to order bathwater for her later on. With the bit of money left in his pockets, he decided to buy Jenna a wedding gift. Something real nice, something fancy that she’d never think of buying for herself.

Jenna deserved the best.

She’d probably sleep for another hour at least. After the night they’d spent making love, she’d probably like to sleep all day. He would have loved that as well. Waking up with Jenna in his arms had been nothing short of wonderful. He’d been awed by Jenna’s beauty, taken by the gift of her body, the way she’d placed her faith in him. He’d been gentle with her, as gentle as his hungered body would allow. He’d promised not to hurt her and he hadn’t. For that, he was grateful. He’d held back
for as long as he could, making sure she’d been properly readied.

But he hadn’t expected her passion to run as deep as his. He hadn’t expected her responses to shatter him the way that they had. She’d been more than he’d hoped and now they were bonded together forever. They’d have their days together, and then their nights. He had a whole lot planned for those nights. A wide grin split his face thinking, memory or not, today he was about the luckiest man alive.

He strode down the street, heading for the mercantile. Voices from the alley between the barber-shop and the telegraph office caught his attention. He glanced down the narrow path. Three men had a young man pinned up against the wall. They were beating him senseless.

He shot a quick look up and down the street, noting the sheriff’s office was too far away. The man would be dead before he raced back with the law. Instinct had him heading down that alley. “Hey!” he shouted, hoping a witness would be enough to scare the men off. That had been his first mistake. All three men turned, casting him hard jaded looks. These men weren’t about to be scared off.

“Mind your business. Get out!” One man shouted. He appeared to be the leader, brawny in build and evil to look at.

Blue glanced at the young man’s swollen face,
bloodied and bruised. Whatever their argument, three against one just wasn’t fair odds. Without thought, he bounced into the fray, pulling one man off the victim and knocking a fist into another.

The men couldn’t help notice him now.

He found himself reaching for his gun, a holster that wasn’t there. He had no time to think on that, on what that meant. The young man, no longer pinned up against the wall, got into it as well, making the odds much better. Two against three was a bit more justified, even if the young victim hadn’t much spirit left in him.

He noticed the brawny man who’d shouted at him reaching for his gun. On sheer gut instinct, Blue quickly hoisted a gun out of another assailant’s holster. Taking aim, and realizing the other man wasn’t about to hesitate, he fired a shot, winging the man in the shoulder. The gun the man held flipped out of his hand.

“Damn, you shot me,” he cried, his good hand coming up to the wound. Blood oozed out through his fingers.

Blue held the gun steady on all three, as bits and pieces of memory returned quickly like
lightning flashes.
Images burst through in waves, until his head spun. The gun, the shooting. He saw himself in another situation, standing in a saloon. It had been three against one then, too. And that time he had been the
one.
He’d shot a man and he knew that man was dead.

“Hey, I know you!” One of the three offenders shouted. “We all thought you was dead.”

“What?” he asked.

“You, why you’re—”

He didn’t let the man get the words out. He didn’t have to. He knew who he was. Suddenly. He knew
what
he was. Memories poured in, fast, like darting animals across a field, but he had no time for them now. He spoke his own name as dread seeped into his gut. “Cash Callahan.”

“That’s right! We heard you was beaten and robbed, you and another man, yanked right off that stagecoach. Left for dead.”

Cash recalled some of that now. The images were blackened and faded, but starting to come through. And the realization hit him hard, the implications far too confusing for him to sort through at this time.

“Thanks, Mr. Callahan.” The young beaten man came up to him, holding his jaw, but not looking too worse for wear. He’d be all right in a few days.

Cash couldn’t see past the images fogging his mind, but he knew he had to. This situation wasn’t resolved yet. He held three men at gunpoint, one of whom was bleeding.

“I didn’t like the odds,” he said to the young victim. And suddenly he knew why that was so important to him. Suddenly, he knew that playing the odds had been his life.

“What happened here?” He pointed the gun at the three men looking for answers. It dawned on him how easily he held the gun, how right it felt in his hand.

“Willy cheated us at cards last night. We came to get our money.”

“Did not,” Willy denied. “I won that money fair and square. You folks were drinking too much to know a king-high straight from a pair of deuces.”

The four men began arguing, raising voices, making accusations.

“Hold it!” he shouted above their ranting. “We’re gonna let the sheriff decide.” With the tip of the gun, he nudged them out of the alley.

“Ahh, do we have to?” One of the assailants whined.

“Sure do. I don’t trust you all to settle this on your own, and we got a man here bleeding. He needs to see a doctor.”

Two hours later, after giving a statement to the sheriff, Cash waited by the wagon for Jenna, still reeling from his revelation. His insides churned, the bitter reminder of who he was couldn’t be ignored. Though Cash found it hard facing the truth about himself, about the life he had led, he knew he had no choice but to open his mind and allow all those memories to flow in. And they did flow, hundreds of images coming to mind, and each one
reminding him that he wasn’t the man Jenna wanted. He wasn’t Blue Montgomery, farmer. He wasn’t the man who Jenna had admired, who’d struggled hard on a family farm, until soft words and hope-filled pages in those letters, had him venturing to a new life with a sweet, loving woman.

No, he was Cash Callahan, notorious gambler. Each day of his young life had been about one sole thing, survival. He’d been cast out so many times he’d lost count. He’d been alone, a youngster on his own and had to make do with the devices the Lord had given him. He’d developed a knack for gambling. Some said it was a gift. He’d struggled hard to survive in an often cruel, calculating world, starting early in life, fighting to gain a reputation until he’d finally come into his own. Up until this point, he hadn’t had harsh thoughts about the life he’d been forced to choose. He’d done what he’d had to do to sustain his life. But now, it was different. Now, he had a wife, who wasn’t really his wife. And he had to tell her who he was.

In one bleak moment, Cash would shatter all of Jenna’s dreams. Her heart would break in two. The news would crush her, no doubt. And if his being a gambler didn’t destroy her, then learning the hard truth about what happened to the real Blue Montgomery certainly would.

Cash had been responsible for his death.

Jenna approached the wagon, a rosy glow shining on her face. Hell, Cash had put that look on
her face. Just hours ago, he’d had the same contented look. But now, Jenna would know no happiness. He’d wipe away that glow and bring her nothing but pain and heartache.

“Blue, you look pale.” Her expression faltered, her dimples disappearing, replaced by sincere concern.

He helped her up into the wagon and took a seat next to her. He wanted out of Goose Creek, real quick.

“Is something the matter?” she asked, when he didn’t respond.

All he could do was shake his head.

Hell, every damn thing was the matter. He had to find a way to break the news to her. He had to explain who he was. But he decided telling her here and now would be too hard for Jenna. The truth of it would rattle her too much. She needed to be home, among friends. They’d lend her the comfort he couldn’t give her. Once they reached Twin Oaks he’d tell her. He’d muster the courage and explain to her all that he could. She wouldn’t understand, of course, she wouldn’t take it well. She’d hate him and he wouldn’t blame her. At the moment, he hated himself.

Halfway home, Jenna put a hand on his arm. “Blue, you’re scaring me. You haven’t said one word. Did I do something to upset you?”

She’d given him a slice of heaven, that’s what she’d done. Last night they shared something magical,
something he’d never forget. Jenna had given herself to him completely, placing her faith and trust in him. Cash had never known a woman like Jenna. He’d never touched a decent woman. The hell of it was, he didn’t deserve her concern. He didn’t deserve
her.

But in truth, she hadn’t really given herself to
him,
but to the man she believed him to be, the man she’d fallen in love with. Cash Callahan was a stranger to her and he’d unknowingly taken her innocence. “No, sugar, you haven’t upset me. I’ve got a lot on my mind, is all.”

He left it at that. Every so often he’d glance at Jenna’s face and see the worry there. She’d nibble on her lip, or frown, then catch herself, attempting to appear cheerful, but Cash knew she was just pretending. He hated that she fretted so, but it couldn’t really be helped. He couldn’t pretend to be someone he wasn’t. Not even for Jenna.

He heaved a deep weary sigh when they reached the gates of Twin Oaks. This had been his home for weeks. Jenna had taken him in, saved his life and nursed him back from the dead. He’d been content here, with Jenna by his side, and if his memory hadn’t returned, they would have begun their new life together as husband and wife. But that wasn’t to be.

He owed her the truth.

He turned to her then, taking her hand and placing a kiss there. The last one they would share.
“Jenna, you’re a special woman. I think I’m half in love with you, but you have to know the truth.”

“Oh, Blue,” she said with a wistful sigh, “you love me?”

Cash’s gut clenched at the sweet, hope-filled sound of Jenna’s voice. He had half a mind not to tell her, not to crush all of her hopes. Never in his life had he faced such a difficult dilemma. But could he go on pretending that he was Blue Montgomery? Could he fake being a farmer, to keep a smile on Jenna’s face? And what if she learned the truth in another way? The harm done with those lies would devastate her even more. No, he had to tell her. He had to speak the truth.

“That’s just it, Jenna. I have no right to you. I’m not Blue Montgomery. I’m not your Blue.”

J
enna sat impatiently on the parlor sofa waiting for Blue, or the man she
thought
was Blue, to return from unhitching the wagon. She couldn’t believe this was happening. He had to be mistaken. The man she just married had to be Blue Montgomery. There was no other explanation. Yet her palms were moist with sweat, her heart raced overly so and her mind went hazy, miserably trying to rehash events that pointed to Blue not being Blue at all.

Could it possibly be?

The door opened slowly and Blue entered, his gaze locking with hers. What she found in those deep penetrating eyes truly frightened her.

“Jenna,” he said quietly.

She followed his movements, the long purposeful strides she’d come to know as Blue’s. He sat beside her. His nearness brought her comfort, but
when she gazed into his troubled eyes again, all that ease disappeared.

“I have to try to explain.” He reached back to rub the back of his neck, but tension still marred his face. She’d never seen him appear so shaken and perplexed. Jenna’s heart took a steep tumble yet she had no choice but to sit there, waiting, fearful of what that explanation might be. “It’s not a pretty story, I’m afraid.”

“You…remembered then?”

“Yes, I know who I am. It came to me…like a lightning flash, Jenna. Just like you’d said.” He smiled quickly then his face went somber. “My name is Cash Callahan.”

Jenna squeezed her eyes closed. Tears stung the backs of her lids, but she wouldn’t allow them. Not yet. She tilted her head and glanced at him warily, unable to believe that this man, whom she had nursed back to life, this man that she had married, this man to whom she’d given her body, was a stranger to her. It was all too impossible, too painful.

Cash Callahan.
The name seemed so foreign to her. “G-Go on.”

He took a deep breath and spoke softly. “I was on my way to Twin Oaks. As you know, the stagecoach was attacked. There were only two of us left on our journey. The others had gotten off at the last town.”

“You were coming here?” Puzzled, Jenna’s
brows knitted together. What call would a stranger have to come to Twin Oaks?

“Yes, Jenna. I was coming here.”

“Why?”

He ran a hand down his face and let out a slow uneasy sigh. “I had business here.”

She shot her head up. She didn’t know this man, and that fact played heavy in her heart, since she’d married him, lain with him, oh…this wasn’t at all how it was supposed to be, but who was he, really? “What kind of business?”

“I’ll get to that later. You see, the attackers were after me, and well, because the other gentleman on the stage looked so much like me, they weren’t quite sure which one I was. After they killed the stagecoach driver, they shot and beat us both. I recall thinking it so strange when I first got on the stage to see a man who nearly mirrored my own image. Same height, same hair color, but mostly it was the eyes. They were as deep and blue as mine.” He took a sharp breath and continued. “They robbed us and left us for dead, but the other man still had breath in his lungs. I recall him crawling over to me, giving me his Bible and telling me to find Jenna Duncan. He wanted me to tell you…he loved you. Those were his last words.”

Tears spilled down Jenna’s face. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She couldn’t believe the real Blue Montgomery was dead. She’d nursed him back to life, hadn’t she? She’d been so sure,
so certain, the man sitting here on her sofa had been her Blue. Her heart ached, the pain knifing through with powerful force. Yet, she fought the disbelief. She fought it, because it was all beginning to make sense, somehow. “That was my Blue? The real Blue Montgomery?”

He reached for her hand, but pulled back before they actually touched, his blue eyes narrowing, going dark and filling with regret. Jenna was grateful he hadn’t taken her hand. She didn’t want his touch. She didn’t want to be reminded of the night they’d shared when she’d believed him to be her Blue.

Dear Lord. How could this be? What cruel manner of fate had done this to her? She didn’t want to hear this awful truth. She only wished she could go back to yesterday when her life was simple. When she had her whole future ahead of her.

“Yes, I believe he was Blue Montgomery.”

“Ohhh.” Sobs escaped and Jenna couldn’t look at this man, this stranger. She wept for the man she would never know. She wept for Blue Montgomery. Jenna couldn’t fathom her life without Blue. They’d had so many plans; the promise of many healthy children, of land thriving with wheat and of a life filled with true and binding love. Blue had been her world. He’d been kind and compassionate, a man Jenna had admired. His words healed her when she’d been down. They’d lifted her up and had given her hope again. That she
would never know him, never lay eyes on him, never share another word with him, brought her the deepest kind of sorrow and regret. “L-Lord, r-rest his soul,” she managed after a time.

Then Jenna cried for herself.

She cried for destroyed dreams. She cried for the years of wanting, yearning, waiting. She cried for the loneliness that would surely be her life now. She cried and cried and finally, once her tears were shed, reason took over.

Jenna wiped her tears on her sleeve, too distraught to worry about the stricken look on the man’s face beside her. She had so many questions running through her mind now. She shoved her heartache aside for a moment, to get the answers she needed. “I don’t understand. Why didn’t I find him when I found you?”

“He died there, by the stagecoach, as did the driver, but I didn’t have strength to bury them. I left the area, fearing the attackers might come back and see that I was barely alive. I crawled on my hands and knees, bleeding and not knowing if the breath I was taking would be my last. I don’t recall how long or how far I was able to go, but I searched for help. I think I would have died that day by Turner’s Pond if you hadn’t found me right then.”

“Oh,” she said, realizing that this man was not at fault. He’d been through a horrible ordeal and nearly died. She had been the one insisting he was
her Blue. Yet who was Cash Callahan and what business did he have with Twin Oaks?

“I did the Christian thing. I would have taken you in, no matter who you were.”

“I know that, Jenna. You’re a special woman—”

“Don’t,” she said, halting his kind words. She couldn’t bear to hear them right now. Unfair resentment settled in her belly that this man had survived when Blue hadn’t. She wasn’t proud of this feeling, yet she hadn’t the strength to fight it, either. She couldn’t forget that they’d spent the night together, that she’d given her body to a stranger. She didn’t want to hear any more of his soothing words. Words wouldn’t change a thing.

“You saved my life, Jenna. I will be grateful for that until the day I die.”

Blue was dead, but she’d managed to save this man’s life. Whoever he was. It was time she found out. “You said you had business here, at Twin Oaks.”

“Yes,” he said, glancing at her warily, before lifting up from the sofa. “Wait here a minute.”

Puzzled, Jenna stayed seated, wondering what this man, this Cash Callahan was up to. A minute later, he came back into the room with his long wool coat. With a small knife he produced from his pocket, he began ripping away the back inner seam of the garment. Stunned, Jenna could only watch.

Once the seam was opened considerably, he reached inside and pulled out a piece of paper. “This was my business, Jenna,” he said with such regret that Jenna’s heart lurched.

“W-What? What is that?”

He unfolded the small paper and placed it on the sofa between them. Jenna looked down and gasped. “It’s a deed to Twin Oaks!”

He nodded. “It’s a fake deed, Jenna. I know that now.”

Yes, it surely was a fake deed. Just like the one she’d seen once before when a stranger came onto her property, angrily threatening her. If this man carried a deed to Twin Oaks, then how did he get it? Jenna’s mind considered the possibilities, yet she refused to acknowledge the one truth that would destroy her completely.

Cash Callahan folded the paper back up and shoved it into his shirt pocket. He ran his hands through his hair then, on a hesitant pause, softened his eyes to her. Jenna sat ramrod straight waiting for his explanation, praying this was all a big mistake.

“I met your brother, Bobby Joe, at a gambling hall in north Texas. Can’t even remember the town now. There have been so many. He wagered Twin Oaks for a large sum of money. Of course, he’d duped me into thinking it was a cattle ranch. I was coming here to check over my newest acquisition when the Wendell cousins caught up with me. You
see, Jenna, I’m a gambler. It’s the only life I’ve ever known.”

“No!” Jenna’s mind muddied up. This couldn’t be true. Bobby Joe wouldn’t have done this again. Her brother wouldn’t have sent this man, this Cash Callahan, out here to claim her farm. The implications were pulling her apart. Her brother had betrayed her again, but this time, she hadn’t been the only one to suffer. Blue was dead because of it. And this man, this horrible gambler, whom she’d saved, then married, then bedded, oh, she couldn’t even face that fact as yet, but this man and her deceitful brother had been the cause of it all. “No,” she mumbled, her body sagging, defeated. She’d been duped once again.

“I’m sorry, Jenna. It’s true.”

Jenna lowered her lids, unable to bear the reality another second. She prayed for it all to go away. Like a bad dream, she’d awaken to find this man, this gambler gone. Blue would be by her side and he’d be smiling, taking her into his arms, speaking loving words to her. They’d set out to plow their fields and make a life together. Jenna wished it so. She desperately wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

“Jenna.”

The voice so familiar, yet strange to her now, broke into her hopeful thoughts. She just wanted him to go away. “You came here to take my farm away from me.”

“No.”

“You traveled quite some distance. You had the deed.”

“I thought I won it fair and square.”

Jenna put her head down. She ached with bone weary pain.

“I wouldn’t have claimed the land. I wouldn’t have taken the farm you love. Once I’d learned the truth, I would have left. I’d never harm you, Jenna. You have to believe that.”

“You’re a gambler. Why would I believe anything you said?”

“Because…you know me.”

Jenna laughed with grinding bitterness. She’d known one too many gamblers in her day, and all of them had brought her nothing but grief. “No, I don’t know you at all.”

With a determined look, he stated, “I’ve lived here for weeks. Hell, Jenna, you’re my wife now.”

Jenna shot up from the sofa and whirled around to face him. “No, I’m not. I married
Blue Montgomery.
You’re nothing like him. You never could be. I’m not your
wife.
”

But when he stood, towering over her, his close proximity was too much to take so she moved away, to the opposite end of the small parlor. She had to face the sorry fact that she’d lain with this man. She’d been betrayed by her brother, then bedded by a stranger.

So much for her foolish notions of love and family.
Jenna had had so little of both in her lifetime, how could she have held out hope that she’d attain either?

“Jenna, please listen. We can make this right.”

Jenna shook her head briskly. “No, nothing could make this right.” Heartache settled inside, a permanent part of her now, robbing her of any future joy. She knew now it would remain there, always, a reminder of a young girl’s silly thoughts of love, of wishful dreams that would never come true. “You used me, just like Bobby Joe, just like that other man, coming here ready to take away my farm. There is no way to make this right.”

“Jenna, listen to reason here. I was nearly dead when you brought me in. Men who wanted revenge had bushwhacked me on that stage. I didn’t recall any of it. I didn’t remember.”

“And they killed Blue because of you.” Jenna would never get over that. She viewed Cash Callahan with narrowed eyes, seeing him only as a low-bellied poisonous snake. Snakes sucked the life out of people. Gamblers did the same. She had no use for any of them. “What’d you do? Why were they after you?”

“I shot a man dead.”

Jenna gasped and backed away from Cash. His gut clenched, but he couldn’t say that he blamed her. The look on her face, the fear on her body, stuck like a knife in his heart. Regardless, he had to make her see the truth. “I caught him cheating
at cards and he pulled a gun. He was ready to kill me. It was him or me, Jenna. I had no choice.”

“There’s always a choice,” she said in a whisper.

“I defended myself, just like you did that day the gambler came here to take claim of your farm.”

“He was nothing but a gambler…like you.”

“I wouldn’t have taken your farm even if the deed had been real. You have to believe that.”

Jenna held back a well of tears, shaking her head. He could see her whole body trembling. “There’s nothing you can say to make this right. I think you should leave.”

Cash thought hard about this and came to the same conclusion. She was right. He had no place with Jenna Duncan. He would always be the man Jenna would regard as having stolen her innocence and taken away her future. He’d been duped and betrayed by her brother, just as she had, but he couldn’t fight her hatred of gamblers. That much was painfully clear. Her mind was set.

Life with her had been a dream for a man with no past. But Cash recalled his past now, and he knew he wasn’t fit for a woman like Jenna. He knew he could never keep her, never stay here on this farm and make her happy. It wasn’t even an option.

From the time he was ten years old, all Cash had ever known was gambling. It was what he did,
who he was. He’d been given a glimpse of a life he might have had, if his own life had been different, but Cash wasn’t fool enough to believe he could change. He knew only one thing, only one way to survive. And he knew what was best for Jenna. “I’ll leave in the morning, Jenna. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but it did and I’m sorry you were hurt.”