Charlene Sands (14 page)

Jenna reached for two linen cloths from a kitchen cabinet, handing one to Cash. “Here, dry off a bit.”

Cash wiped his face then tossed down the cloth,
braced both hands against the door-frame and peered outside again. “How’d you feel about some sheep on the farm and a couple more hogs?”

Jenna hesitated, wondering where that had come from. Cash sure was acting strange today. “I’d love it. Unfortunately, I don’t have any wealthy friends.”

“Don’t need any.” He turned to face her. “Tomorrow I’ll be bringing you half a dozen sheep and two of old man Bender’s best hogs.”

“Mr. Bender? What does he have to do with anything?”

“Simple. I bet him that it would rain today.”

“You
bet
him?” Jenna’s heart nearly stopped. Her mind raced with unwanted thoughts.

“Now, don’t go getting riled, Jenna. I was only doing it for you and the farm. Remember when we were getting married—”

“Cash, don’t.” Jenna put up a halting hand. Hearing what he had to say made her stomach churn. She couldn’t bear recalling their sham marriage or anything she might have professed during that time.

He came close, meeting her eyes. “Jenna, you wanted to improve the farm. You had all these notions. They were good notions. Half a dozen sheep. Two more hogs. That’s got to make you happy.”

“I’d be happy if I’d earned them the decent way.”

“Jenna, gambling ain’t indecent. It’s people that are. There are good and bad people everywhere.”

Jenna shut her eyes. She had thought that Cash
understood. She thought he’d known her feelings regarding gambling. “What did you have to wager for such a bet?”

“Queen. And my saddle.”

She snapped her eyes open. “Cash, that horse and saddle must be worth far more than the livestock.”

“They are. But old man Bender didn’t mind taking the bet. He thought he would win.”

Jenna sat down at the table, slumping her shoulders. She rubbed her temples, then exhaled slowly. Life certainly hadn’t been dull with Cash Callahan. First his kisses had knocked her to her knees and now this. He had to know she’d not approve of his gambling, sheep or not. “And how did you know it would rain? You’re not a rainmaker.”

Cash grinned and sat down beside her. “No, but I think Scrappy is. I noticed him always licking his paw, right before it rained. He’s got something creaky in his bones or something—he seems to know when the weather’s going to change.”

Jenna clasped her hands together on the table and sighed heavily. She looked deep into his eyes. “You really are a gambler. You haven’t changed one bit.”

“I am a gambler, Jenna. I never said I’d change. I know you won’t believe me when I say this, but you’re a gambler, too.”

Jenna laughed bitterly at that preposterous notion. “That’s not so.”

“Oh?” Cash stood and walked to the back door, gesturing to the field. “Every time you plow and
plant and work so hard you ache in all parts of your body, you’re gambling. You’re betting the sun’s going to shine just enough, there’s going to be plenty of rain to set the seeds but not too much to wash them away. You’re betting the crop won’t get diseased. You’re betting on a prosperous harvest.”

“That’s different, Cash.”

“Is it? Think about this, Jenna. That day you found me by Turner’s Pond, you took my life in your hands. You gambled that you could save me. My luck was running high that day and you did save me.”

“Cash, you’re muddling everything up.”

“No, I’m not. I’m speaking clearly.” He strode over to her and sat down again, taking her hands in his. “Don’t you see, sugar? All of life is a gamble with the choices we make. You chose to work this farm, though you knew the odds were against you. You chose to take me in and save me. Hell, you’re gambling right now that I won’t leave before Ben heals up fine.”

Jenna stared at him for long quiet moments, contemplating, trying to sort out what Cash was saying. He’d gambled. He’d come here to work, but he’d gambled. How could Jenna allow that? How could she accept what he’d won, when the very idea made her ache inside? “I can’t accept your winnings, Cash.”

“A man can’t go back on a bet,” he said quietly. “Jenna, look at me.
See
me. I’m not a hustler who would prey on innocent women. I wouldn’t
have taken that bet with Bobby Joe had I known about you. I wouldn’t have ever hurt you. You say you don’t know me, but you do. You refuse to admit to yourself that I’m not the sort of man who’d ever knowingly cause you pain. I wouldn’t, Jenna, not ever. I’ve only tried to help you. I’ve got livestock to pick up in the morning, for you, for the farm.”

Jenna shook her head, denying his words. “What if I asked you not to?”

Cash’s mouth twisted in a frown. “I’d honor your wishes, Jenna. But we’d be ruining Antonio’s life.”

“Antonio?” Jenna’s head clouded up again. What could Antonio possibly have to do with this?

“Old man Bender’s gonna let Antonio court his daughter as part of the deal.” Cash cast her a satisfied smile. “He was that certain he wouldn’t lose—”

“That he wagered his daughter. How despicable.”

Cash scrubbed his jaw. “Antonio sure won’t think so. And I doubt Marcie will, either. They’re in love.”

Jenna eyed him suspiciously. “Why’d you do this, Cash? And don’t say it’s because you’re a gambler.”

Cash shrugged. “I’ve always found ways to get what I want. Survival, I suppose. And this time I wanted the livestock for you. You deserve it, Jenna. You’ve got a good farm here. Before I
leave, I’d like to know that I’ve helped in every way that I could.”

His sincerity touched her. He’d done a good thing with Antonio. Just the other day, Antonio had confided in Jenna about his love for Marcie. He’d seemed so desolate at the time, wondering how they’d ever get a chance to see each other. And now Cash had found them a way.

“So, am I picking up livestock tomorrow?”

Jenna ran her hand through her hair, twisting the loose ends into knots. She couldn’t refuse now, even if she wanted to. And after hearing all of Cash’s arguments, she wasn’t sure she wanted to. It wasn’t easy to undo something that had festered in her mind for a long time. But perhaps, she was beginning to see. Perhaps it took a gambler to make her see. “We don’t have any place to fence the sheep.”

With a bright spark in his indigo eyes, Cash offered, “I’ll build them a small corral, soon as I can.”

Jenna eyed Cash with trepidation, wondering if she should trust him. Wondering if she could accept this offer, for just what it was…an attempt to help better the farm. Jenna sighed, deep in thought, then lifted her eyes to his.

“You’re picking up livestock tomorrow.”

U
p in her bedroom that night, Jenna slipped out of her wet clothes, removing each piece slowly as her mind wandered to Cash. She wondered if he was doing the same. Was he peeling off his wet shirt right now? Was rain clinging to those fine hairs on his chest? Was he thinking about her, about the way they’d kissed?

Images of Cash, naked on the bed, making love to her, flashed in her mind. Was it a memory of how they’d been that day in the hotel room in Goose Creek when they’d married, or was it a vision of what Jenna wanted now? Did she want to make love with Cash again? To have him hold her, caress her, lay with her, until both their bodies were spent and exhausted?

Jenna closed her eyes, but the image held true. She couldn’t block it out. No longer could she deny she had feelings for Cash Callahan, gambler,
a man ready to leave as soon as the fields were planted.

“Don’t be a fool, Jenna,” she muttered in the quiet room. The soft patter of rain on the rooftop was all that could be heard. Fresh, crisp air drifted in pleasingly, in the way it does after rain. There were no more drips leaking through the roof, thanks to Cash.

Jenna leaned against the wall wearing only her chemise, the skin on her arms puckering up from the cold, but it was as though she was immune to the discomfort. She stared at the dress Cash had given her, the beautiful golden-yellow gown that Jenna had never put on.

All of life is a gamble with the choices we make.

Cash’s words tormented her. He had spoken what he believed to be the truth, but Jenna still was so unsure, so befuddled. Was he right? Was her life just as big a gamble as his? And if she determined he was right, what good could come of it? She could give him her heart, only to have him abandon her to go back to his old way of life, the life he preferred as a gambler.

Jenna walked over to the dress hanging up on her cheval mirror. She fingered the lace, the pearl-like buttons and the dainty stitches. “So delicate,” she said, wondering how Cash could think her so. She was a farmer, a woman who got dirt under her fingernails every day. She had strong limbs from carrying firewood and hoeing the soil and guiding
the plow. She wore torn tattered clothes, didn’t know much about style or grace, yet Cash
saw
her in this dress. He’d picked it out special, just for her.

A strange sensation took hold and Jenna backed up a bit. She shivered but was unable to tear her gaze from the dress. It was as though the gown beckoned, as if calling her out, accusing her of cowardice, of fear and uncertainty. Draped there on the mirror, its beauty apparent, the dress held so much more for Jenna.

“What are you so afraid of, Jenna?” she asked herself, her teeth biting down hard on her lip as she contemplated. And then she knew.

Trust.

She was afraid to trust again.

And hope.

She couldn’t dare hope to have the future she’d always dreamed about.

She’d done that. She’d poured her heart and soul into her dreams, only to have them shatter around her, like a glass vase that had slipped from her grip. She fought the urge. She fought the temptation. As much as the dress lured her with its elegant beauty, Jenna fought back, her defenses up and her mind set on her resolve. The dress and all it represented dashed from her head when Cash knocked on her door.

“Jenna, are you awake in there?”

She gasped when she heard his voice. He’d
never come to her room before. “Oh, um, yes. I’m awake.” She grabbed for her robe, quickly tying the sash and making sure she was covered from neck to ankles.

He spoke from behind her door. “I’m heading out to Ben’s. Just wanted you to know I’ll be gone a while.”

Her curiosity sparked, Jenna opened the door slowly. Cash leaned against the door frame, standing only inches from her. The appealing scent of soap and fresh rainwater assaulted her senses. Cash had changed into clean clothes. With his hair wet and slicked back from his face, the compelling blue of his eyes couldn’t be missed. At times, not only the unique beguiling color but the piercing intensity as well, shocked her down deep in her bones.

“Why? Is there a problem?”

Cash peeked inside her room. Heat rose up her cheeks when she noted the direction of his gaze. He’d noticed the dress, draped upon the mirror. He spoke of it only by the arch of his brow then turned back to her. “No problem, sugar.”

There was no pretending Cash wasn’t studying her with interest. His gaze roamed over her body, slow and leisurely, as if he had the right to and as if he didn’t mind the obvious torture he was inflicting. He studied her hair and how it fell onto her shoulders. His gaze traveled down her throat, stopped at her breasts, lingered there, then moved lower down.

Jenna clutched her robe tight.

The movement seemed to bring Cash back. He met her eyes now and smiled. Jenna’s heart raced furiously.

“I’m going to tell Antonio the good news. Won’t have time tomorrow. I’ll be busy picking up your hogs and sheep. And when I return, I hope to build that pen I promised you. The way I figure, nothing should prevent a man and a woman from being together,” he said, stopping to clear his throat. He spoke with slow deliberation, “If they…love…each…other.”

Jenna swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly dry. With a lick of the tongue, Jenna moistened her lips. Cash blinked and leaned in, his reaction creating lightning-fast heat between them as he peered at her mouth. A fire erupted in Jenna, but she couldn’t look away, couldn’t step back. If Cash wanted to kiss her, she wouldn’t refuse, but would welcome him.

Instead, and to her surprise, he blinked a second time then backed away, into the hallway and far from her reach. “I’d best be going now, before it gets too late. You be sure to lock up. I won’t be long.”

Jenna closed the door with a thud then leaned against it. Disappointment registered quickly, along with myriad emotions running rampant, causing havoc to Jenna’s heart and head. Jenna had wanted his touch, and this time, it was Cash
who’d been the cautious one. The desire in his eyes couldn’t be missed, yet he’d been the one to turn away.

Jenna had made her feelings known to him. She’d denied him in the barn the other night, denied him in her heart as well. He’d finally gotten a clear message. She wanted no part of him, no part of a gambler, a man who’d bide his time here until he would take his leave.

Jenna
had
wanted that from the beginning, but now she was absolutely certain of…nothing.

Early the next morning, Cash dressed quickly then climbed down the ladder in the loft and strode to Larabeth. “How’s my lady today?” The milk cow cast him a look. He ran a hand along her flank then patted her head. “You waiting on something?” he asked, teasing the big animal. Larabeth’s ears wiggled, just so slightly. Cash was beginning to know her moves. He reached into his pocket and came out with sugar cubes. “Here you go. Maybe one day soon, you’ll come to like me.”

Hell, Antonio thought Cash walked on water. Last night the young man had been elated when Cash told him the news. Old man Bender couldn’t stop Antonio from courting his daughter. Cash felt certain satisfaction in securing Antonio a chance at a happy future.

Cash had always believed in fate. If something was meant to be then it would happen. Of course,
being a gambler, he’d always tried improving the odds. Only there was no improving his odds when it came to Jenna.

She was just as stubborn as Larabeth. Females. No matter what a man did, they held tight to their beliefs. He knew he didn’t deserve a woman like Jenna, but he wanted to leave here with her thinking he was a different sort of man. She didn’t trust him and he wondered if he could blame her. He’d told Jenna things about his past he’d not shared with another living soul. She was right to be wary of him, perhaps, though in his heart Cash knew there wasn’t a doggone thing he wouldn’t do for her.

Jenna didn’t want him here. She didn’t like who he was. In many ways gambling defined him and was the only truth he had in his life.

Last night, every male instinct he held told him Jenna wanted him. When she’d opened the door and stood before him in that robe, Cash’s body had grown tight. She looked at him tentatively, but there was so much more in her tawny eyes. He saw boldness and desire. She had wanted him to kiss her. And the good Lord knew, he’d wanted to do just that, but he’d gotten to the point with Jenna where kissing wasn’t nearly enough.

He wanted to take her body and blend with her soul. He wanted to claim her, to pleasure her and cherish the child in her, while making pure sweet love to the woman. But Cash knew she would turn
him away, as she’d done before. And she’d be right. So he’d resisted the urges pulling at him and let her be. But it hadn’t been easy. Being alone with Jenna was proving more and more difficult. He couldn’t imagine living here much longer without having her, yet the thought of leaving tore at his gut.

“I’m no farmer,” he said to Mac as he guided him outside the barn. He harnessed the horse to the wagon and climbed up. “But I’m going to do my best today. Old man Bender is going to pay up. In spades.”