Charity's Passion (8 page)

I learned to shoot here. When I told Justin I wanted to know how to defend myself and what to look for, this is where he brought me. The feel in the air was much different during all those visits. Justin, and now Garrett’s, men are dedicated and well trained, they would never dare to make a move without an order, but they are also human, and their feelings are their own to have. Those feelings twist up into the air and fill the entire building. They won’t make a move on Shea, but they’d love to.

Malcolm, Panther’s third in command, had led all of us into the room. His role was going to be increased as Justin and Lena step out of operations, so he stays in for the meeting as well. He needs to have a much larger understanding of what is happening. He’s proud to be so trusted, and eager to work with Garrett.

“I hope you don’t take offense, Mr. Collins, when I tell you I’m scared out of my mind right now,” Shea says, owning up to his fear.

John Roberts laughs out loud, “It does have the feel of a snake in a mongoose nest, doesn’t it?” He quips.

Even I smile at that one.

“That’s exactly how I feel,” Shea admits with a nervous laugh.

“You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Shea,” Justin tells him.

“I know,” Shea says. “That’s why I’m telling you, because I want you to know how much I trust you.”

“Understood,” Justin replies.

John Roberts leans back in his chair. “So—let’s get to it,” he demands. “Why are we here? I think we all know, but let’s get it going.”

Justin agrees with a JP-like nod of his head. He’s fully in his other persona now, as he needs to be. “Brian Marker is getting ready to hit us. We all know it’s time, and he’s even been sighted stalking Lena and Charity.”

“Mr. Collins,” Shea begins, “I don’t mean any disrespect, I know maybe more than anyone how professional you are, but Marker is no fool. There’s no way your people saw him if he really is back. He’s way too good for that.”

“I agree,” Justin replies. “But it was him, and that means he has a reason for wanting us to know he’s here.”

“And what’s that?” John Roberts asks.

“We don’t know yet,” Garrett answers.

“And that would be the point of it,” Shea says understandingly. “Whatever he meant to do, he did. It was successful the second he showed himself. Maybe he wanted to scare the women. Maybe he knew you would tell us and that was a signal to someone inside. Maybe he just wanted to get you thinking that’s what is was—physiological bullshit. Whatever his intent, it worked the moment he did it.”

Justin nods his head in agreement.

“He wants you to change what you’re doing, make it easier for him to get to you,” John Roberts says.

“Or he wants you to think that, so that you won’t change a thing,” Shea adds.

They all fall silent for a moment. No one makes a single sound. Justin stands at the head of the table like a rock. You cannot find an ounce of the nervousness or confusion you find on every other face in the room, including mine. The confidence drips and oozes out of his pores.

John Roberts breaks the silence, “So tell us what the plan is. I know you have one already; I’ve known you long enough to know you’re already figuring out your moves.”

Justin shrugs, “You two, you’re under twenty-four by seven surveillance—like it or not. You won’t pick your nose without Panther knowing about it. It’s not optional,” he says quickly when he sees both men get uncomfortable.

“We’re not the enemy here,” Shea says, which is absurd coming from him.

“No, maybe not,” Justin replies. “This is just as much about saving you, don’t forget that. He’s going to go after everyone to draw me out.”

Both men settle.

“I’m going to be brutally honest, so there isn’t any confusion by
anyone
in this room—including my own team. There are those here who I feel are more important than myself, those I would give my life for, but there is only one in here, on this planet, that is so vital to me that I would even kill the rest of you to protect her.”

I feel my face flushing with heat.

“Marker has already had his eyes on Charity, and that—“

His voice cut out without the words to place in here.

“Now there are no choices for any of you. I will do what I want, when I want. If that doesn’t work for you, let me know right now so I can decide if I will let you leave here.”

There is no way to describe what I’m feeling right now. This is the most protected and in danger that I’ve ever felt, the most humiliated and loved, the most anger and joy that could happen at once. Their faces stare at me and I am so exposed and raw.

How is any of this about me at all?

Why am I getting any of their attention?

“She’s the only innocent person in this room, and she’s above all of us,” Justin says while my eyes fill with tears.

Another silence drifts by and then John Roberts speaks up. “JP—you’re right, son. You do whatever, and I mean
whatever
it takes to keep her safe.”

More tears. I can’t believe John Roberts is saying this, not for me. When I look at him, he’s looking at Justin and me as if we are his children, and I get it.

Shea looks deflated, but he also knows there are no options. He nods his head at the terms. “Do whatever you need, Mr. Collins, just save all of us if you can.”

John Roberts’ old, leathery face somehow looks soft. “What do you need from us? Is there anything we should be doing?”

“You should be keeping your eyes open—all of you. Marker knows each of you, he’ll have done his homework. He knows your strengths and weaknesses, and when he hits you, he will take advantage of what he knows. He will turn you backwards, what you consider a strength will be your biggest weakness. He’s already using my love for Charity against me, you all see that. It will be the same for you. John, your independence, how you can do anything without any help from anyone, he will see you taking lead somewhere and isolate you. Arthur, you use your connections and strings to play people like puppets and no one does it better than you, when Marker comes for you, it’s going to be through one of your closest connections and you won’t see it coming if you’re not ready for that.”

My heart is racing, and I’m sure everyone else feels the same creepy fear sneaking up behind us.

“Be ready.” Justin’s continues, “That’s all you need to do. Everything else I will take care of myself. Everything you do from now until this is over, you need to tell me and my team. I’ll probably know it already, but tell me anyway.”

“I’m not really comfortable with this,” Shea barks. “How do I know Marker is really back and this isn’t just your paranoia?”

Justin isn’t insulted by Shea at all. “Trust me—he’s back. You don’t have to believe it if you don’t want to; I do, and that’s all that matters really. I’ll watch your back whether you want me to or not, mostly to keep everyone else safe if you don’t care about it yourself.”

"Just remember Arthur, if you screw this up, it's not just you paying the price," John Roberts says.

“YOU NEED TO TEACH
me,” I demand, feeling brave in the comfort of our apartment.

Justin glances at me with those heart-stopping eyes of his, and I can understand exactly what they’re saying to me.

“I know you’ve already taught me things to defend myself, but I don’t feel ready for this, Justin. What do I need to look for?” I’ve been a wreck since our meeting with John Roberts and Arthur Shea and I’m sure he’s aware of that.

My words are cutting him. The pain drips through his face straight to his heart and I’m sorry for that, but I have to tell him what I’m feeling. He’s the only one that can help me through this.

“He won’t get to you,” Justin says in an extremely steady and firm voice that actually does calm me. “There’s isn’t anything else you need to learn right now to be ready, if there was, I’d be teaching it to you. Everything you need, you already have.”

“But you said he will use us against each other; I don’t think I could handle that. What are we supposed to do if that happens?” I ask.

“Honestly?” Justin waits for my acknowledgement, which I give him with a look. Yes, of course, I want him to be honest. “If he were to get to either of us, Warrior—there isn’t anything we could do. That’s why there is nothing to teach you. There is only one way to beat this, and I’ve already told you what that is. He won’t get to you, and he won’t get to me.”

I’m starting to sense Justin has a bigger handle on things than I know, more than he’s told me about yet.

“Anything I could tell you, I think would be a waste of time.” He continues, “I can tell you if he has me, if he wants to draw you out, you have to ignore him no matter what he does to me, but would that work?”

My shoulders slump down as far as they can go.

“If Marker were to get you, Charity, I wouldn’t have the strength to save myself. If I can’t get to him to save you, I’d give myself up to spare you. I wouldn’t care what he wants to do to me; the thought of you in his hands…I just couldn’t.”

I feel him all the way into my soul. “Justin, you couldn’t. I wouldn’t want you to do that—“

“It would
not
be an option,” he says, cutting me off. “I would want you to do the same thing. If he got me—just leave me—no matter what he does or threatens. If my body parts start showing up in the mail. You don’t go to him. I want you to stay the hell away.”

That’s never going to happen, and he knows it. I get his point now. Neither one of us will ever give up on the other, never put ourselves first. I adore him for loving me so deeply.

Justin touches the side of my face lovingly when he knows that I understand. “Listen to me, Warrior, it won’t happen.”

The confidence in his voice is growing and I really think there is something behind it. I remember what John used to tell me about Justin, before I had to kill him. Justin thinks several steps ahead of everyone around him.

“You already have a plan, don’t you?” I ask eagerly. I see it in his eyes before he can reply. “What it is? What are you planning, Justin?”

“You will know everything when you need to,” he answers. “And you know how to do all that you need to know.”

“And what’s that?” I can’t let this go.

Justin takes a careful breath. “You know how to fire a weapon, and your aim is better than mine at a distance. You’ve put a gun to a man’s head and pulled the trigger, and you’ve saved my life when I was bleeding to death. You think Lena is a tough and dangerous woman, but you are no different. She has experience and the confidence that comes from it, but you are beautifully lethal. The only thing you need to do to beat Marker is listen to me, and do exactly what I tell you, when I tell you to do it.”

“Don’t I always?” Yeah, okay, I do probably deserve the awful look he’s giving me for having asked that—after the stunt I pulled with his mother. “Well, I can.”

Right, I have some doubts myself.

“Whether you can or can’t is not an option; going forward you
will
do everything I say because both our lives do actually depend on it,” Justin says in all seriousness.

“I get it,” I tell him.

“Undress,” he demands suddenly.

I can’t tell if he’s serious or not, and I feel my face flush, which is absolutely ridiculous at this point of our relationship. “That’s cute,” I say at last.

“And now we’re dead,” he says, still being serious.

“Because I didn’t get undressed?” I ask.

He looks at me as if it should be obvious. “No! Because you didn’t do what I said, when I said it.”

He’s absolutely right. “I’ll get better,” I breathe as I stand and begin to remove my clothes. There’s an approving grin on his face.

When there’s nothing left on me, he stands up. “Close your eyes,” he orders. Without hesitation, I obey. “Don’t move.”

I begin to feel his hands lightly touching me all over and it’s not easy to hold still. His warm hands slowly rub my nipples and my legs feel week. He slides them down my sides and hips as the heat builds between my legs.

“Don’t resist,” he whispers into my ear. Suddenly I’m rising up over his shoulder as he carries me out of the room. It feels like he’s walking toward our bedroom and then I’m rolled off him to our bedspread.

The air feels cool against my bare skin and I’m anticipating what his next move will be. I wonder where his hands or mouth will land, where he will send the chills. My ears strain to hear, but there’s nothing and I begin to wonder if he left me.

Just as my eyelids consider opening, his thick voice fills the air again. The chills start from my ears. “Don’t open your eyes,” he says, “Keep them closed; keep yourself still. Life is crazy right now so give yourself, give both of us, time to stop and think about nothing but each other. There’s nothing to worry about but listening to my voice and doing what I tell you to do.”

The sound of him makes me warm, covering me in a blanket. While I wait, I can hear him undressing, his clothes landing on the floor one piece at a time.

“I cherish you, Warrior, in every way possible that a man can adore a woman. It’s spiritual and emotional at a level you know I never believed I deserved to feel, but it’s also physical and sexual. Looking at you ignites a fire in me that just feels like it will burn forever, building a thirst that will never be quenched. You are all I ever think about. You are my fetish, Charity.”