Charade (46 page)

“I have to get back there,” I said flatly, cutting off the rest of her words. “Who knows what Beelzebub is going to do to him.”

“Sam is very strong, Heven,” Gemma tried to reassure me.

I heard her, but I wasn’t listening. “I should go now while Beelzebub is preoccupied.”

Gemma lifted a brow.

“Heven pushed him into this burning pit in his dungeon,” Cole explained.

Gemma gasped. “You did that to Beelzebub?”

I shrugged. He deserved worse than that.

“Hecate seemed to think it was funny,” Cole murmured.

“You saw Hecate!” Gemma exclaimed.

Which reminded me. “What about Kimber, Cole?”

Just the mere mention of her changed Cole. The lines around his mouth and eyes tightened, his shoulders tensed and his aura flashed muddy, cloudy colors.

“Who is this Kimber girl? Wasn’t she in the catacombs?” Gemma asked, reading Cole’s reaction.

“She’s our friend—used to be our friend, anyway. Cole dated her,” I answered, watching as Gemma slightly flinched.

“She betrayed us and sold herself to Hecate,” Cole spat. He turned to Gemma. “I broke up with her a few weeks ago. Before we met.”

“She’s in Hell?” Gemma asked, turning toward me.

“In a cell right next to Sam. She helped us get out of there.”

“You must wait to go back, form a plan,” Gemma urged.

She knew as well as I did that no amount of planning would help me. I was on a suicide mission to Hell that I refused to back out of. At the very least, I was hoping to trade myself for Sam.

“Please,” Gemma urged. “I’ll help you get ready.”

“You’ll teach me to fight?” I asked.

“Yes,” Gemma promised over Cole’s dark cursing.

“Meet me later at the farm. We’ll begin then,” I said. “I have to check on Logan, but first I have something I need to do.” Something I needed to be alone for.

Gemma nodded, but Cole frowned. “Where are you going?”

“Will you stay with Logan until I get there?”

“Hev.” Worry and regret shone in his eyes.

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his waist. He returned the hug with force. “You don’t have to worry about me. Meet me at the farm later.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“I understand why you made me leave,” I told him. “Thank you.” As much as I hated to admit it, Cole was right to pull me out. I would be of no use to Sam if my soul was gone. I have to make sure that he is out and safe before I sacrifice my soul to save him.

“We’ll stay with Logan,” Gemma promised.

As I walked away from them, I heard Cole’s whispered words, “I feel like I should explain about Kimber…”

Gemma answered just as quietly as he had spoken. “Don’t. Everyone has a past. Including me.”

I didn’t hang around to hear the rest. It didn’t really matter.

Just as the city of Portland was awakening, I strolled away from the fountain and stared up at the newly lightened sky to yell, “Airis!”

*   *   *

The bright white of the InBetween was assaulting to my dark mood, but I ignored it, realizing that I asked to come here and it really wasn’t fair of me to treat anyone (especially someone who would hopefully help me) to my unhappiness.

“Things haven’t been easy lately,” Airis said, appearing before me. Her blond hair shone brightly as it framed her face with loose curls.

“So you know what has happened?”

“To Logan and to Sam, yes.”

“I have the Treasure Map,” I said, holding out the bronze tube, hoping she would take it and I would be rid of its responsibility.

“It is incomplete.”

I glanced down at its torn, jagged edge. “Yes. But I know what part is missing. I can replace it.” Who would have thought that having a photographic memory would actually be helpful?

“Did anyone else read it?”

“No. It was burned.”

As I held it out, a new bronze case formed around the scroll. The metal was smooth and perfect without any of the scratches and dents the previous case held.

“You’re not going to take it back, are you?” I said, not being able to keep the disappointment from my voice.

“No.”

“But why? It belongs in Heaven, where it is safe.”

“It is incomplete.”

“If I complete it, will you take it back?”

“When the time is right you will know what to do with the Treasure Map.”

Not exactly the answer I was looking for, but I accepted it because the scroll wasn’t why I was here. “Can you help me get Sam out of Hell?”

“I cannot.” Airis bowed her head as if to apologize.

I wanted to weep and scream at the same time. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as a perfect image of Sam formed behind my eyes. He was beautiful, all tan and gold with deep whiskey-colored eyes and a perfectly sculpted face. I couldn’t let him down.

“Why?” I asked, calmly.

“I have no control over what goes on in Hell.”

“Beelzebub has Sam.”

“Did you know he’s a fallen angel?”

I shook my head. That explained why he thought demons were beneath him.

“He became the Chief of Demon’s on Christ’s allowance. He is
very
powerful.”

“You mean God appointed him Chief of Demons?” I asked, curious.

“Yes.”

“But why?”

“There are many theories,” Airis hedged, clearly not wanting to get into a religious debate.

I shrugged. I guess it didn’t matter anyway. What mattered was what was happening now.

It was hard to believe that violent, cruel man once came from Heaven. “How can I defeat him?”

“I do not know. He is very dangerous. My advice would be not to go up against him. Avoid him at all costs.”

At cost to Sam?

Hell. No.

“Can you give me some more supernatural powers that can help me get Sam back?”

“You have already been gifted supernatural powers.”

Yeah, stupid ones. I didn’t dare say it out loud because I didn’t want to sound ungrateful, but I mean, really, seeing auras and having a photographic memory… I wouldn’t even call them powers—just abilities to make me a freak. Yet, I couldn’t say that they hadn’t been completely worthless.

“So you aren’t going to help me at all, help Sam? Not even after everything he has done to help you?” It just wasn’t fair.

“You will have to do this on your own. Hell is not a place where I can help you.”

“Send me home.” I blinked back tears. “Please.”

Airis studied me for a long moment and I had to struggle to hold onto my patience and my calm. I would not cry. I would be stronger than that for Sam.

“There is something I can give you,” Airis said.

“What?”

“You only have minutes,” she said and then disappeared.

“Airis!” I yelled. Why had she left like that? How was I going to get home?

A sob caught in my throat and I scrubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands. When I looked up someone was standing before me. I blinked back the tears to clear my vision… certain that I was seeing things.

“Heven,” the familiar voice filled me with longing and warmth.

It took me a moment to realize he was really there. That he really spoke.

“Daddy?” I whispered.

He nodded and held out his arms.

I ran right into them.

He smelled exactly the same.
All the years that he had been gone fell away and it was like he had never left at all.

“I’ve missed you,” I whispered into his chest.

His arms tightened even harder around me and I felt the breath catch in his chest. “I’ve always been with you.”

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to see you.”

“Things have been hard lately,” he said, drawing me back and looking down at my face. Concern darkened his features, but I drank them in hungrily. He was tall, almost six feet with a strong build including wide shoulders. His hair was light—like mine, but his eyes were a deep brown that Mom always called puppy-dog eyes.

“Have you seen what’s been happening?”

“Most everything,” he confirmed.

“Not all?” I wondered which parts he hadn’t seen and why he hadn’t been watching.

His lips pulled into a quick smile and I was reminded of Cole. I wondered how I never put the resemblance together before. In fact, if I had been able to see my dad’s aura, I was sure it would look a lot like my brother’s.

“I wasn’t able to see anything about your recent trip into the Underworld.” His mouth pulled down in disapproval. “You’re injured.”

He held out his hands to my face, but I stepped away. The mention of Hell made my chest feel heavy and Sam’s beautiful face flashed into my mind. As intensely glad as I was to have these few moments with my father, it just wasn’t enough to shadow the pain I carried knowing that Sam was trapped in Hell.
Sam.

I didn’t realize—not at first—that the thought was spoken, an unconscious attempt at reaching out to my beloved.

I’m still here, Heven.

The whisper of his words and the intensity of relief that rushed through me almost brought me to my knees. I heard the sob that ripped from my throat and was powerless to stop it.

Every time I talked to him I was afraid it would be our last conversation.

I was afraid that the very fine thread that tethered me to sanity might snap and I would float away into complete grief.

Are you all right?
I didn’t know what else to ask. Everything else was too hard to broach. I’d left him there. What if he felt betrayed and hurt and didn’t want to speak to me ever again?

I looked up at my father and swallowed. He was staring at me with a wary expression on his face. I cast my eyes back down, squeezing them shut, shutting out everything but Sam.

Don’t worry about me. I can handle this.

I love you, Sam. I swear I’ll get you out.

I’ll find a way out, Heven. Don’t come back here.

I wasn’t sure what to say because I didn’t want to argue and I
would
be going back to get him. He must have felt my resolve and desire to not fight because a faint laugh echoed through my mind.
I love you, Heven. Always.

My eyes snapped back up to my father. I felt torn with guilt. Here, standing before me, was my father, the man whom I wished for every single day since he died and I had a chance that no one else ever got, and I was so wrecked from Sam’s imprisonment that I couldn’t fully enjoy this.

I rushed forward, throwing my arms around his waist and burying my face against his chest. I couldn’t stop the hot tears that fell from my eyes or the burning in my chest from holding back my sobs.

“That’s my girl,” he crooned. “It’s all right now.”

“It’s not!” I cried, lifting my face up. “Sam is trapped in Hell, in Beelzebub’s dungeon. Kimber got caught up with Hecate and is trapped there too, and I’m pretty sure that her soul isn’t inside her body anymore. Well, maybe it is…” My voice trailed away, unsure. If Kimber’s soul was truly gone, she wouldn’t have helped us escape. It was all so confusing.

He murmured some comforting words and rocked me back and forth. Soon my crying quieted and I was left listening to the soft humming of a song that he had sung to me when I was a little girl. I let the melody soothe the roughest parts inside of me before gently pulling away. “You didn’t tell me about Cole.” I didn’t want to be angry, but I was.

My father nodded. “I wanted to. I loved Cole’s mother very much and we dated for a while, but then your mother came into my life. Things got complicated. Two women, two babies... I wanted you both, but could only have one woman. Your mother seemed to need me.”

“But what about Cole?” I said, cutting him off.

“I tried to see him, honey. Cole’s mother was understandably hurt that I chose someone else and she didn’t want me in his life. After all the pain I caused her, it was all I could do to honor her wishes. It was better that way.”

“Not for Cole.”

“Yes, for Cole. As I said, it was complicated.”

I allowed his words to sink in, knowing that he only tried to do what was best. I didn’t want to spend what little moments I had with him arguing over something that I couldn’t change.

“I always thought that I would have the time when he was older to explain things…” His words trailed off and I hugged him again.

“It’s all right, Daddy. I understand.”

“How is he?”

I grinned. “He’s great. So much like you.”

Dad nodded. “A Supernal Being,” he said, almost to himself.

“Did you always know what you are?”

He smoothed the hair away from my face and looked about to respond when his head tilted, like he heard something I didn’t.

He frowned a bit, his brown eyes melting a little. “I have to go.”

“No!” I hugged him fiercely as if to keep him at my side.

“I’ll be watching over you, always.”

“Please stay,” I begged.

“Be strong and be careful.” He pressed his lips to my forehead before gently pulling away.

“Wait!” I cried. He looked back at me with love. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, angel.”

Fresh tears slid down my cheeks as I watched him walk away. As he began fading away he smiled. “Tell your brother that I’m sorry and that I love him.”

I nodded. “I will.”

Just before he vanished completely, I saw him smile. “And Heven?”

“Yes?”

“I’m proud of you.”

*   *   *

The night sky looked like rich navy velvet, pulling me toward the window and promising to cocoon me in peace. I ignored the pull of the silver studded stars and pushed the window closed, my fingers grazing over something that wasn’t necessary until now.

The lock.

My fingers stung and my eyes burned as I shoved the lock home.
It’s temporary.
I promised myself as I pulled shut the shades and curtains. I walked stiffly away from the window, my muscles protesting with every movement I made. Training today with Gemma had been exhausting. I hurt in places that I didn’t even know I had, and I felt beaten down with the knowledge of how weak I really was.

But it didn’t matter because tomorrow I would be stronger.