Char (24 page)

Landon never wanted to dance with me when we were together. Of course, he also never looked at me the way that Tristan does. If Tristan and I were to break up, I doubt I could ever find anybody like him. I love how sweet he is. And his intensity. I love the way he says my name. I love the size of his hands, and how they feel when he holds mine.

“What are you thinking?” he asks me.

“Just how that if you and I ever broke up, I would never find anybody like you,” I answer. “I doubt anybody could ever make me feel the way that you do.”

“I know that I could
never
find another you,” he says. “I feel so lucky to have you.”

“Well, I think the way that I came here really sucked, but I’m glad I got photographed smoking weed. If I hadn’t, I never would have met you. And by the way, I’m pretty sure it was
me
who found
you
.”

“No way. It was definitely me. I was the one who noticed you first at the party. If it wasn’t for me, you’d probably be dating
Christian
right now.” He makes a face. “I am
really
glad I decided to come to the city that weekend. If not, I definitely would have stolen my brother’s girl.”

“I’m glad you came to the city too,” I agree. “But I
definitely
would
not
be dating Christian.”

“If he had his way, you definitely would be.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever. I’m pretty sure he’s in love with my sister.”

“All he has been talking about this weekend is his
future date
with Candice. I seriously hope for her sake that she has a boyfriend next fall when he starts NYU.”

I laugh again, which makes me think that it’s
definitely
the alcohol, because I never laugh this much. I sound like a giggling twelve year old. But I hope that Candice
does
have a boyfriend next fall. Not just so she doesn’t have to go on a date with Christian, but because she deserves to be happy. Once she finds herself, I hope she can find somebody to share her life with. Above all, I just want her to be happy.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 22

12am

Happy birthday.

It’s twelve AM which means that I am
officially
an adult. Except I don’t really feel any older. I guess I thought turning eighteen would feel freer, but really it doesn’t feel any different than seventeen at all. Maybe it’s because I know I still have eight months of high school left. Maybe once I graduate I will feel free? Well, then I’ll have four years of college.
 
And then a job. And a husband. And kids. And bills. Yeah, how depressing. I will
never
be free.

“Happy birthday, baby” Tristan whispers in my ear. It’s amazing how I can go from
completely calm
to
totally turned on
in like two seconds flat. Will it always be like this? I really, really hope so. And it’s not like he said anything
sexy
. He just said
happy birthday
. Which pretty much makes me the lamest person on the planet, but I don’t care.

“Happy birthday, Char!” Candice hugs me. “I can’t believe my baby sister is eighteen. I feel so old.”

“You’re only one year and three months older,” I say.

“Don’t remind me.” She pouts. “Pretty soon I won’t be a teenager anymore, which is pretty freaking depressing.”

Candice is so melodramatic. Which is why I love her.

Christian and Layla both tell me happy birthday as we all grab another piece of cake. We’re all getting pretty tired, so we will probably be going to bed soon. Candice said something about
beauty rest
. At 12:13 my phone starts ringing. Aaron’s number pops up, which excites me. I didn’t think he would call for my birthday. His call will completely make my birthday complete.

“Hello bestest friend of mine,” I answer.

“Charlotte?” I hear a voice from the other end, but the voice doesn’t belong to Aaron. It belongs to his dad, Jordan.

“Mr. Rouse?” I am shocked that it’s not Aaron. I’m also concerned. His dads never call me.

“Charlotte, there’s been an accident.”

My heart speeds up when I hear the word
accident
. My heart is beating so loud that I’m sure I won’t be able to hear anything else he says. My head is spinning. “What do you mean accident? Is Aaron alright?”

“I don’t know if he will be. Aaron overdosed on drugs tonight. The doctors are doing everything they can, but it doesn’t look good. I know that Aaron would want you here. I want you here.”

I
 
get up off the couch and start running towards my room. “Of course. I’ll pack and be on the first flight out.” I end the call, and run into my room. I open my suitcase and start throwing things inside. I don’t even hear Tristan come up behind me.

“Is everything alright?” he asks.

“No,” I say.

Tristan pulls me into his arms, and I take a deep, shaky breath. I needed this hug.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Aaron overdosed on drugs. He’s in pretty bad shape, and they don’t know if he is going to be okay.” I begin to sob. “I didn’t even know Aaron did drugs. All we ever did was smoke pot. Wouldn’t I know if my best friend was using hard drugs? Maybe if I would have paid more attention to him…” I start thinking about Labor Day Weekend, and how I ditched him numerous times to hang out with Tristan. I should have given Aaron more time. He flew all the way to see me, and we basically fought the whole time. I should have begged him to stay the extra day, and I should have called him more once he got back home. I
could have
tried harder. I am a horrible friend.
 

“It’s not your fault,” Tristan tells me. “You didn’t make Aaron do drugs.
He
did them on his own free will. The only thing that you can do now is be there for him. I’m going to go home and pack a bag, then you and I are going to fly to Los Angeles tonight and see him. I bet we will even get there before he wakes up. And he
will
wake up.”

For some reason, seeing Tristan take charge makes me feel better. “I need to book a ticket.”

“We can take my dad’s jet. I’ll call him on the way home and have him call the pilot.”

“Okay.”

“Now finish packing. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Tristan kisses my forehead and then leaves my room. About three minutes after he leaves, Candice walks in. She goes to my closet and starts packing my bag for me. It’s a good thing, because I’m not sure if I can pack it right now.

“It’s going to be alright,” Candice tells me as she finishes packing. “I am going to go tell Dad what happened, and then I am going to pack my bag. I will be there for you. And Aaron will be alright. He has to be."

Candice leaves me in my room, and I fall back onto my bed. I stare at my ceiling and send up a prayer for Aaron. I want my best friend to be alright.

2am

On purpose?

We are boarding Tristan’s Dad’s jet at two in the morning. Christian decides to come with us, too. I really don’t care who comes, I just want to get there.

I am having such mixed feelings about everything. One minute I am mad at Aaron for doing drugs. Then the next I’m mad at me for not noticing that he was doing drugs. And then I’m just sad, because I don’t know if he is going to live or not. And then the cycle starts all over again.

I sit beside Tristan on the plane, and buckle up. “Aaron is scared of flying,” I tell him. “Once we went on a ski trip to Colorado, and he cried like a baby when we were taking off. He kept screaming ‘
I don’t wanna die!
’ over and over again.” I can’t help but laugh at the memory. And then I cry. What if I don’t get to make more memories with Aaron? What if the last time I saw him really was the
last time
that I saw him? How can I live without my best friend?

“I’m sure he’s going to be alright.” Tristan tries to comfort me. “When his dad called, I’m sure he was just anxious. There is no reason to stress about it. We will get there, talk to his dad and the doctors. Who knows, he might even be all better.”

He’s right. I shouldn’t freak out. It doesn’t do anybody any good if I do. All I can do is be there for Aaron when he wakes up. And then when he wakes up, because he
will
wake up, I am going to smack him across the face for using drugs. Seriously, how could he?

“Why do you think he did it?” I ask Tristan.

“Overdose on drugs? I don’t know,” he answers. “There could be a lot of things… depression, maybe?”

Oh my God. That thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. “You think he overdosed on
purpose
?”

Tristan’s eyes get big, and I can tell he realizes that he said the wrong thing. “Well, no. It could have been on accident. Like I said, I guess we won’t really know until we get there. You should just relax for now.”

I lay back in my seat as the plane takes off. I do need to just relax. Right now, the situation is completely out of my control. I send up a prayer for
 
Aaron. Now all I can do is hope for the best.

8am

Mad.

Against all odds, I actually
did
fall asleep before we even got into the air. It’s probably a good thing, because I am not going to leave Aaron’s side until he wakes up, so I’m probably not going to get much sleep.

We arrive at the hospital right around eight in the morning. Both of Aaron’s dads are in the waiting room.

“How is he?” I ask them.

“We don’t know yet,” Jordan tells me. “He took some kind of drug…”

“Speed,” John reminds him.

“Right,” he says. “And I guess he has too much, because his heart completely stopped. He was out for quite a few minutes before he was resuscitated, so we won’t know how bad it is until he wakes up.”

“
If
he wakes up,” John says. “I’ll be honest, it’s pretty bad.”

I sink down into a nearby chair. My legs will no longer support my weight. “I had no idea he was on drugs,” I tell them. “What kind of best friend doesn’t know that her
best friend
is using drugs? I mean, I knew about the pot, but I had no idea he was using harder stuff.”

“You were over one thousand miles away.” Jordan takes a seat beside me, and puts his arm around my shoulder. “How could you know, sweetie?”

I sigh. “I don’t know. I knew he was acting different, but I had no clue
why
. And when he came to visit he left early. Do you think he left because he needed drugs? I should have known then, and I should have known when he wasn’t answering any of my phone calls. I should have called you two and told you that he was acting different.”

“You can’t blame yourself,” John says, taking a seat on the other side of me. “You had just moved, and your friendship had changed. You really had no idea what
normal
was when you were so far away.”

He is right. But I am pathetic. Aaron’s dads are comforting
me
when
I
should be comforting
them
. “How are you two doing?”

“Well, I’ve been better,” Jordan says. “We both knew that something was up, but Aaron is eighteen. We didn’t want to interfere. We were just happy he was staying at home while he’s in college. But he really hasn’t been the same since you left.”

“You were always such a good influence on him,” John says. “Without you, I believe this could have happened a lot sooner.”

Just then, the doctor comes around the corer. “Mr. Rouse?”

Both John and Jordan stand up.

“Aaron is awake now,” the doctor says. “He wants to see you.”

I sigh in relief. He’s awake. And he’s not dead.

“Come back with us,” Jordan says, grabbing my hand. “He will be a lot happier to see you than he will be to see us.”

I follow them to his room leaving Tristan, Candice, and Christian in the waiting room. I’d really like to take Tristan with me for support, but I am pretty sure that Tristan is the last person that Aaron wants to see right now.

When we walk into the room, I can’t help but feel scared. I’ve never seen Aaron look like this. He’s pale —
really
pale. He has lost a lot of weight, and he has black circles under his eyes. It breaks my heart to see him like this.

“Char.” His voice is weak, but his face lights up as he sees me.

I stand by his bed, and grab his hand. “I’m so glad you’re alright. I was worried about you.”

“So you know what happened?” he asks.

“You we’re an idiot. And you took drugs. Not only did you
take drugs
, but you overdosed on them.” My voice breaks. “I am
so
mad at you right now.”

His head drops just a little. “I know. I screwed up. I’m sorry, Char. I hate that you have to see me like this.”

I can’t stay mad at him. Especially since he needs me right now. “I just want you to get better, okay? Then you’re going to enroll at college in New York City so we can be close to each other. I’m so not having this happen again.”

“I think maybe I
do
need you to watch after me. I obviously can’t handle living over a thousand miles from my
best friend
.”

I look and see Jordan and John are standing on the other side of Aaron’s bed. “I’m going to give you and your dads some privacy. I’ll be in the waiting room.”

I walk out of the room and back down to the waiting room. I tell everybody how Aaron is doing, and Tristan holds me, which is
exactly
what I need.

1pm

Non-home.

Aaron won’t be released from the hospital for a few days. We all decide to stay the night in Malibu and head back to NYC tomorrow. I want to stay one more night in case something happens. The doctors are confident that he will be fine, but since he
died
they want to monitor him.

Aaron’s doctor told him that he was ‘
very lucky
’. He was out for so long that there could have been brain damage… And he’s lucky that they could even resuscitate him. Most people who overdose on drugs aren’t so lucky. After the doctor told him that, I told Aaron that he was given a second chance for a reason, and he better not blow it. At that point he decided to give up all drugs — even weed. He’s going to live a clean lifestyle, and he is going to apply for NYU in the fall. I told him to apply at Columbia so we could be in school together next year, and he laughed. He said that I was lucky he was even coming to New York City, but he’s
definitely not
going to an Ivy League school. I am just happy that my best friend is moving to New York City next year. I’ll take what I can get.