Chaotic (Imperfect Perfection) (24 page)

And then he told me he wanted a
real relationship with me. Really, he had probably just used that to take my
mind off of his weird behavior that I had questioned. Then the girl showed up
again and didn’t say anything then?

I heard Nate saying something back
to him, right as I hiccupped loudly and suddenly the hallway light was turned
on, blinding me. Justin’s face paled when he saw me, his mouth opening and
closing a few times before he crouched down in front of me. “Princess, you weren’t
supposed to hear that.”

“How would you have preferred me to
hear it?” I asked, stammering through my tears. Tears that I hadn’t felt ever
before in my life, even at my lowest, because these weren’t sad tears, they
were angry tears. Angry for the time that I had wasted being with him, and for
letting myself trust him so much, when I had known how he was before we got
together.

He tried to grab my chin with
shaking hands so I would look at him, but I slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch
me,” I spit out, pushing myself to my feet and scrubbing at my eyes to try and
stop the tears. “You will never touch me again. We are completely done.” I ran
toward his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me, and found clothes to slip
on over the lingerie I had picked out for him, he was done getting a show from
me. Forever.

I heard the door open quietly and I
could feel his presence behind me, but there was no way I was going to turn
around. It would destroy me even more. “Della, please wait,” he asked in a
pleading tone, fisting his beanie so tightly in his hands that they were white.

He followed behind me closely as I
scooped up the rest of my bags, begging and pleading the whole time, but all I
did was tune him out. I really had heard more than enough from him tonight and
I was done. I didn’t reply as I shoved past him where he was trying to block my
way, the hurt flashing through those gray eyes as I rushed into the living room
where Nate was still sitting, looking like he really wasn’t sure what to do
with himself. I honestly felt a little bad for the guy.

“Can you please take me home?” I
asked, my voice shaking with each word. I really needed to get myself in
control, but I just couldn’t manage to do that.

He looked between me and Justin,
who shook his head vigorously, but he huffed out a loud breath. “Sorry, dude, I
think I should take her home. I don’t think you two want to say anything that
you might regret later on. Maybe you can talk about things when she’s a
little…calmer.” I narrowed my eyes at Nate, the guilty feeling for him having
to experience going away pretty quickly.

Calmer, really? For everything that
I had heard, I thought I was handling myself pretty damn well. They were both
lucky that I hadn’t turned into a crazy bitch on the both of them and started
destroying everything, because that’s really what I felt like doing at the
moment.

“Della, you don’t need to leave
like this. Please, just sit down so we can talk this out. Can’t you at least give
me that? I don’t want to lose you,” he dropped down to his knees, twisting his
hands tightly into his hair like he was in pain. I wanted to reach out to taken
that pain away, but then I remembered what I had just found out. He should be
the one suffering, I know I was.

“We have nothing else to talk
about,” I said, turning to glare down at him. “Has this all been one fucking
joke to you? You fucked a girl on the night things between us became serious.
The same night that we were
together
, sure it wasn’t sex, but it was
close enough. And this girl shows up at your house and you failed to mention
that too.” I scrubbed at my arms, suddenly feeling like a needed a shower, to
try and wash all the memories of every time he had touched me.

“I never want to see you again,” I
screamed, punctuating each word. I could see tears glimmering in his gray eyes
as he stood up and took another step towards me, but I turned away quickly. I
heard him sigh in defeat and I knew that he was finally leaving me alone.

He didn’t deserve to be upset, I
did. I was the one that he had betrayed for months with the lie that he held
inside. If I wasn’t here tonight, who knew if he would have actually ever told me.
Nate followed me out the front door as I headed out to his car without looking
back. I tried to calm myself down on the way back to the dorms, using deep
calming breaths.

I had been through worse before; I
could handle this like the strong woman I was now. Nate pulled up in front of
the dorms, taking a deep breath as I scooped up all of my bags. “You know,
Della, he really does love you. And I know I haven’t been your biggest fan, but
I can see how much happier he is when he’s with you. So please, think about at
least giving him a chance when things are a little calmer. You might regret it
one day if you don’t.”

“Whatever,” I bit out. “Thanks for
the ride and tell Justin to have a nice life.” I slammed the door shut and made
my way into the building. I’m sure I looked like a complete and utter mess, but
I really didn’t care. People could stare all they wanted. Yes, I wasn’t the
only person to ever go through a heart wrenching break up, but right now I was
only focused on getting home. Once I got there I knew I could completely break
down.

I somehow managed to get the door
open with shaking hands and dragged my bags in behind me, the lingerie spilling
out as a reminder of what was now gone. “Hey, Della,” I heard Callie’s perky
voice call out from the kitchen. “I figured you would be gone all-” she cut off
when she saw what state I was in and immediately rushed over to wrap her arms
around me. My tears started up once again, but this time they were the loud,
ugly sobs that were supposed to be the private kind.

“Oh, Della. What happened, honey?”
Callie asked as she stroked my hair, and I drenched the thin tank top she had
on. I shook my head, not wanting to talk about it right that second and Callie
was okay with that.

I let everything out while one of
my best friends comforted me, something I needed and something I wouldn’t have
ever been able to do with any of my friends back home. I didn’t regret coming
here, I really couldn’t. Zoey and Callie had changed my life for the better and
this right here proved it. But right now, I felt like running and never coming
back because everything just seemed too hard, and I knew everything would be a
reminder of Justin and what I
thought
we had once had.

Della: Three Months Later

“All right, see you in a bit. Can’t
wait to see you.” I hung up my phone, walking to the kitchen to make sure
everything was ready. Grams had helped me pack up a picnic lunch last night
before her and Grandpa had taken off for the annual trip to her sister’s house.

The house seemed oddly quiet as I
grabbed an oatmeal raisin cookie to munch on while I waited. The summer had
just begun, and I had certainly been looking forward to it. After a
rollercoaster of a ride with Justin, I was ready for a much needed break from
all of the drama.

The past few months had been hard
on me, not the hardest I had ever experienced but more difficult in a different
way. My time with Justin had been some of the best times of my life. I was
really in love for the first time, and I really thought that we had been in it
for the long haul.

That day at his house ruined
everything. I felt like my world had been ripped apart all over again and fell
into a deep depression, not knowing how he could have done something like that
to me. Luckily, my mother wasn’t around to force me into hiding when I fell
into the blackness, so my friends were there to pull me back into the light
before I slipped too far.

It had taken some time, but with
Callie and Zoey, and even Nash being there, I think I was able to put most of
my heart back together. I think Justin would always hold a piece of it, and I
would admit I was a little bitter about that.

He had tried his hardest to win me
back, so much so that I eventually quit Shorty’s because I just couldn’t handle
working with him any longer. Every time I saw him, it just brought back
memories that almost seemed too good to be true. I had almost given into him a
few times, but had stopped myself before that could happen.

I couldn’t forgive him for what he
had done, and I don’t really think he had forgiven himself. If it was possible,
he looked even more miserable than me the times that I had allowed myself to
sneak a glance at him in passing on campus or the occasional run in.

He had even tried using his mother
to attempt to win my forgiveness. We had bonded after meeting and became quick
friends, she had called about a month after we had broken up, just saying that
she was checking in with me, but she threw in a few subtle hints, saying how
broken hearted Justin was. I appreciated her efforts but told her that things
just weren’t going to work out. He had betrayed my trust by not telling me himself,
and I couldn’t forget that.

A knock at the door brought me back
to reality, and I slapped a lid on those thoughts. Today was all about
relaxation and some fun. “We’re here,” Callie squealed as soon as I opened the
door, skipping into the house to hug me tightly.

Zoey followed closely behind,
rolling her eyes at Callie’s excitement but giving me a wide smile. “Cal, it’s
only been two weeks since we moved out of the dorms. You act like you haven’t
seen Della in years. You should have seen the welcoming she gave me, I think my
parents were a little worried that I switched teams.”

After the three of us reluctantly
moved out of the dorms for the summer, Callie had gone home to spend a little
bit of time with her family. Zoey and I had gotten together a handful of times
to hang out, but it was nice for the three of us to be back together. The
timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

“Well, I’m glad you guys are here.
We can put your bags up in the guestroom for now and you can unpack later. I
figured we could head out to the lake and get started on our tans early.” I led
the way upstairs into the room that had two twin beds that Grams had prepared
for the girls. I think she had wanted to stay behind just to hang out with us,
but it would be nice for it to be just the three of us again.

“Hopefully that water is cool
enough,” Callie commented, fanning herself with one hand while digging through
her suitcase with the other. “It’s ungodly hot out there. I am so ready for
that water to cool me off. I definitely like Ohio summers over North Carolina’s.”

We all changed into our bikinis,
Callie and I spraying on tanning oil, while Zoey slathered on about a pound of
sunscreen onto her fair skin. I grabbed the picnic basket that was loaded down
on the way out the door, and we all kicked off our flip-flops once we reached
the shore.

Not many of the neighbors were out,
so we pretty much had the lake to ourselves. They all were pretty much older,
so they tended to see the lake as scenic and nothing more.

All three of us stepped into the
water at the same time, squealing when the water touched our bare skin. “Yeah,
it definitely hasn’t warmed up yet, but I think we’ll survive.” It took us
awhile to suck it up but we eventually made it to the floating wooden raft that
was bobbing in the water a few feet out.

“Okay, totally forget what I said,”
Callie managed to say through chattering teeth as she hoisted herself up. “I’d
like it if this water was a whole lot warmer.”

We all rolled onto our stomachs and
caught up on each other’s lives in the short time that we had been apart. We
were all ready planning on living together next year, and we wanted to look at
some off campus housing while Callie was in town for the next two weeks.
Hopefully, we would be able to find something quickly and get a lease signed so
we would be all set.

“So, have you heard from Justin
anymore?” Zoey asked, sliding her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose to
question me. Callie and Zoey had both been pissed at Justin, almost more than I
was when we had broken up.

They had offered on numerous
occasions to do some kind of bodily harm to him, but I told them I didn’t think
that was necessary. I’m pretty sure the guilt had eaten Justin up enough, and
he was the one who had to live with himself now, knowing that he ruined what we
had together. Some people might think that I overreacted, but that was there
opinion. Yes, we hadn’t really been official, but we had agreed not to see
other people. The fact that Justin had totally broken my trust was just
something I couldn’t get over.

Zoey had seemed to have gotten over
her hate for Justin lately though. She had asked me more than a few times if I
had ever just thought about talking things out with him, but I flat out refused.
We were done and over with, even though I missed him every day. I just didn’t
want to put my heart out for him, only for it to get broken again, when really
it wasn’t even whole right now.

“Nope,” I said with an audible pop,
burying my face against the wooden planks so I could avoid both of their eyes
on me. I hadn’t heard from him lately, but I hated the way they looked at me
whenever he was brought up. Like they thought I would break at any moment.

“And I’m not planning on talking to
him, so you guys don’t need to bring him up every time we have a conversation.
I’m over him.” I wished that was true, and I’m pretty sure they could see right
through me, but I was sick of talking about that whole topic.

“Touchy, touchy, aren’t we?” Callie
countered.

“Okay, this is the last time I’ll
bring it up then, but I think you should give him another chance. Or at least
have a nice long talk with him. What you guys had was special, and I feel like
you’re just letting it slip by. I don’t want you to regret it someday. I’m not
saying what he did was right, but it did happen when you guys weren’t ‘serious’.”
I rolled my eyes at her air quotes and pretty much everything else she had just
said. Yeah, I got what she was saying, but I still had so much pent up anger by
the whole situation, and she just didn’t understand.