Chaos Walking: The Complete Trilogy (162 page)

“Who’s that?” I say.

“That’s not a horse,” Viola says, stepping away from me. “That’s a
battlemore
.”

“A battlemore?” I say. “But I thought–”

And the air is torn from my lungs–

(THE SKY)

He pushes the girl away, seeing me coming, and I have an open shot–

I hear a voice behind me, shouting something in the distance–

A voice shouting
Wait
–

But it is hesitation that has hurt me in the past, being at the moment to act and not acting–

And that will not happen now–

The Sky will act–

The leader of the Clearing is turning to me–

And I will act–

(but–)

I fire my weapon.

{V
IOLA
}

Todd makes a sound like the world collapsing and grabs at his chest–

His bloody, burning, smoking chest–

“TODD!” I shout and leap for him–

And he’s falling back onto the sand, his mouth open in pain–

But no air is coming out or in, just raking, choking sounds in his throat–

And I’m throwing myself down on top of him, blocking another shot if it comes, reaching for his burning clothes, which are disintegrating across his chest, just vaporizing away–

“TODD!”

And he’s looking into my eyes, terrified, his Noise wheeling wildly out of control, spinning with terror and pain–

“No,”
I say,
“No no no no no–”

And I can barely hear the hoofbeats of the battlemore still racing for us–

Barely hear another set of hoofbeats behind that–

Hear Ben’s voice echoing across the sand–

Wait,
he’s yelling–

“Todd?”
I say, tearing the melting clothes off his chest, seeing the terrible, terrible burning beneath, his skin bleeding and bubbling and still that awful choking sound from his throat, like the muscles in his chest have stopped working, like he can’t make them move to take in a breath–

Like’s he’s choking to death–

Like he’s dying right now, right here on this cold, snowy beach–

“TODD!”

And the battlemores are closing in behind me–

And I hear the Noise of 1017, hear that he fired the weapon–

Hear as he realizes his mistake–

That he thought he was shooting the Mayor–

But he wasn’t, he
wasn’t–

And Ben is riding in behind him–

Ben’s Noise ramming forward with fear–

But all I can see is Todd–

All I can see is him looking back at me–

His eyes wide open–

His Noise saying,
No, no, not now, not NOW–

And then he says,
Viola?

“I’m here, Todd,” I say, my voice breaking, shouting with desperation. “I’m
here
!”

And he says,
Viola?
again–

Asking it–

Asking like he’s not sure I’m there–

And then his Noise falls completely silent–

And he stops struggling–

And looking right into my eyes–

He dies.

My Todd dies.

{V
IOLA
}

“Todd!” I shout–

No–

No–

No–

He can’t be dead–

He
can’t
be–

“TODD!”

Like saying his name will make it untrue, will make time go backwards–

Make Todd’s Noise start again–

Make his eyes
see
me–

“TODD!”

I shout it again but it’s like my voice is underwater and all I can hear is my own breath in my ears and my voice rasping his name–

“TODD!”

Another set of arms crosses mine, Ben, falling into the sand next to me, his voice and Noise tearing to bits, saying Todd’s name–

And he starts grabbing handfuls of snow to pack onto Todd’s wound, trying to freeze it, stop the bleeding–

But it’s already too late–

He’s gone–

He’s gone–

Todd is
gone
.

And everything is suddenly moving so slowly–

Angharrad calling out
Boy colt
–

Ben putting his face close to Todd’s, listening for his breath, not finding it–

“Todd, please!”
I hear him say–

But it’s like it’s from a great distance–

Like it’s happening out of my reach–

And there are more footsteps behind me, footsteps I can hear as if there were no other sounds in the universe–

1017–

Off his battlemore, his Noise reeling from his mistake–

His Noise wondering if it was a mistake after all–

And I turn to face him–

(THE SKY)

She turns to face me–

And though she has no voice, I see enough to step back–

She rises to her feet–

I step back again, dropping my weapon onto the snowy sand, only now realizing I still held it–

“You!”
she spits, coming towards me, the chirping sounds from her mouth making a terrible sound, a sound of rage, a sound of
grief
–

I did not know
, I show, still stepping away from her.
I thought he was the leader of the Clearing
–

(did I?)

“You
liar
!” she shouts. “I can
hear
you! You weren’t sure! You weren’t sure and you fired
anyway
–”

It is a wound from a weapon of the Land
, I show.
The medicine of the Land might save him
–

“It’s too late for that!” she shouts. “You’ve killed him!”

I look beyond her to the Source who holds the Knife in his arms, packing more ice onto the Knife’s chest, knowing it does no good, his voice rending with grief, his human voice wailing from his mouth–

And I see that it is true–

I have killed the Knife–

I have killed the Knife–

“SHUT UP!” she shouts–

I did not mean to
, I show, realizing too late that it is true.
I did not
want
to
.

“Well, you
did
!” she spits at me again–

And then she sees my weapon lying on the sand where I dropped it–

{V
IOLA
}

I see the weapon, the white stick weapon of the Spackle lying on the ground, lying there white against the white snow–

I hear Ben crying behind me, saying Todd’s name over and over again and my own heart is painful in my chest, so painful I can barely breathe–

But I see the weapon–

And I reach down and pick it up–

And I point it at 1017–

He doesn’t back away any further, just watches me raise it–

I am sorry,
he says, raising his hands slightly in the air, those too long hands that killed my Todd–

“Sorry won’t bring him back,” I say through clenched teeth and though my eyes are filled with water, a terrible clarity comes over me. I feel the weight of the weapon in my hands. I feel the intention in my heart that will let me use it.

Though I don’t know how.

“Show me!”
I shout at him.
“Show me how so I can kill you!”

Viola,
I hear behind me, Ben’s voice choked with grief.
Viola, wait–

“I will
not
wait,” I say, my voice hard, my arm still raised with the weapon. “SHOW ME!”

I am sorry,
1017 says again and even in my fury, I can see that he means it, I can see that he really
is
sorry that he did it, that his horror at it just grows and grows, not only for what he did to Todd but for what it will mean for the future, that his mistake will reach far beyond us here, that it’s a mistake he would take back for anything in the world–

I can see all this–

And I don’t care–

(THE SKY)

“Show me!” she shouts. “Or I swear to God I’ll beat you to death with this thing!”

Viola
, the Source says behind her, still holding the Knife in his arms, and I look into his voice–

And the Source’s heart is broken–

Broken so much it infects everything, reaching out into the world beyond him–

Because when the Land mourns, we mourn together–

And his grief overwhelms me, becomes my own, becomes the Land’s–

And I see the full extent of my mistake–

A mistake that may have ruined the Land, a mistake that may have cost us our peace, a mistake that may destroy the Land after all I have done to save it–

A mistake that the Sky should not have made–

I have killed the Knife–

I have finally killed the Knife–

The thing I have wanted for so long–

And it has gained me nothing–

Only knowledge of the loss I have caused–

I can see it written across the face of the voiceless one–

The voiceless one holding out a weapon she does not know how to use–

And so I open my voice and I show her–

{V
IOLA
}

His Noise opens up in front of me and it shows me exactly how to use the weapon, where to place my fingers and how to squeeze it to send out the white flash from the end–

He’s showing me how to kill him–

Viola,
I hear Ben say again behind me.
Viola, you can’t.

“Why can’t I?” I say, not looking back, keeping my eyes firmly on 1017. “He killed Todd.”

And if you kill him,
Ben says,
where will it stop?

This
does
make me turn around. “How can you say that?!” I shout. “How can you say that with Todd there in your arms?”

Ben’s face is clenched and shuttered, his Noise giving off so much pain I can hardly bear to look at him–

But still he’s saying it–

If you kill the Sky,
Ben says,
the war will begin again. And we’ll all die. And then the Land will be killed in huge numbers from orbit. And then the settlers who come down here will be attacked by the Land that remains. And there will be–