Chaos (The Realmwalker Chronicles Book 1) (24 page)

Chapter 36

When the world
stops spinning, I’m lying flat on my back under Mikhail’s full weight. We’re lying on something soft though it’s too dark to see exactly what it is. I feel the Russian’s weight shift and a light clicks on. I recognize my own room around me.

“Stay here,” Mikhail says as he rolls off me and runs to my closet. He opens the door and, still stunned, I barely manage to sit up in time to see him disappear into the blackness within.

I don’t know how long I sit there on my bed staring at the closet. At least ten minutes pass before the roar of a familiar engine snaps me out of my stupor. I get up and look out my window to see my truck parked in the driveway. It’s already turned off and the cab is empty. A jingling draws my attention back to the closet. Mikhail steps from the darkness and places my keys and a blood-smeared phone on my desk.

“Did he hurt you?” he asks, his steel-colored eyes anxious.

Even though I shake my head “no,” he still takes a minute to examine me.

“How—” I begin, but he interrupts me.

“You should keep your phone on you,” he chastises. “You were completely unprepared.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” I say lamely.

As if on cue, my phone buzzes on my wooden desktop.

I loathe to touch the blood-covered phone, so I use a towel from my laundry basket to wipe it clean as best I can. It buzzes again in my hands and the screen lights up.

Nine missed calls. Six voicemails. Twelve text messages.

I read the first few texts.

From Ember: “Addy are you okay?! Angel says you’re in trouble.”

From Sam: “Adelaide. Call me now.”

From Mel: “Addy! Why aren’t you picking up? Are you hurt?!”

From Oscar: “I am worried about you chica. Please call and tell us you are okay.”

Another from Ember: “What’s going on?! PLEASE CALL ME!”

Another from Sam: “Dammit Addy. Stop whatever you are doing and call now.”

I look up at Mikhail. “Is this how you knew I needed help?” I ask, holding up the phone, my hand visibly shaking. “Did they call you? Did Angel tell you?”

Mikhail avoids my eyes. “You should call them. Let them know you are safe.”

I ignore this. “You saved me AGAIN.”

His gaze drifts toward the closet and his only exit.

“Please don’t go,” I say, desperate now. “If my life is worth being saved, TWICE, aren’t I worth a few words?”

He sighs and his shoulders droop. Finally he meets my gaze.

“Thank you, Mikhail. I can’t believe you got to me so quickly, but I’m grateful. Thank you.”

He stares at me for a moment as if deciding what to say. Then, hesitantly, “I-I check on you.”

He spoke quietly, and his accent is so thick I’m not sure I heard him right. He reads my confused expression and explains further.

“Sometimes, when there’s nothing else,” he gestures vaguely with his hands, “I check on you. You are new and … vulnerable.”

“Wait,” I say as I begin to understand, “you’ve been checking on me? For how long?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Since you came.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

I think of all those times I felt watched. All those times when I KNEW there was someone observing me. I could never find a source. And now I know. It had always been Mikhail, watching from the shadows. No wonder I never felt any malice behind it. He sees the realization on my face and seems embarrassed.

“And you were checking on me tonight? That’s how you knew I was in trouble?”

He nods shortly.

How did I not recognize it was him all those times? Each Walker has a distinct frequency. I should’ve known it was him. As I try to remember the unique feel of Mikhail’s output, I realize I’ve never actually sensed it. Even now, as I reach out my feelers toward him, I get nothing. Empty space surrounds him. How is that possible? I remember now what Ember told me about him not having a visible aura. I study him curiously, lost in thought.

My phone buzzing in my hands brings me back to the present. I look down to see Sam’s name shining on the screen. My wish to keep talking with Mikhail is strong, but my desire to hear Sam’s voice is stronger.

“I should answer,” I tell Mikhail.

“Goodnight then.” For a second I think he’s going to embrace me then he looks down at his blood-covered clothes and instead walks toward my dark closet.

“I owe you, Mikhail,” I say abruptly. He turns before disappearing. “I know that sounds lame and incredibly inadequate but I mean it. I’ll pay you back for this …” I nod insistently, “somehow.”

He smiles at me for the first time ever then turns and, stepping forward, fades from view.

Chapter 37

“I’m all right,”
I say into the phone as I sink onto my bed.

“Where in the hell have you been?” Sam demands.

Surprised at his anger, it takes me a second to find my voice. “I—”

“I’ve been calling you nonstop. Why didn’t you answer?”

“I left my phone in my truck. There was a Greater Shade. I couldn’t get to it,” I spit out as fast as I can.

“A Greater Shade? There?”

“Yes. At my art show.”

“Is it still there?” Sam’s voice sounds urgent but controlled.

“No. It’s dead. Mikhail killed it.”

A pause, then, “Are you in any immediate danger right now?”

“No, I’m at my hou—”

“Then get to Major Calm as quickly as you can,” Sam orders and hangs up before I can say another word.

What’s going on? Why does he sound so mad? So much has happened in the last half hour that I can barely process everything. I stare absently at some faint blood smears Mikhail left on my comforter. I look down at my dress. Blood splatter has forever ruined it.

Blood.

Blood from Matthew Crowe. That disgusting man’s tainted blood is on me! On my bed!

In a rush I kick off my shoes. I pull the dress up and off my body and take off everything I have on underneath. I even rip the pins from my hair. Everything from this night must go—even the Walker phone and the towel I used to clean it.

I throw all of it onto my bed and frantically ball up the comforter around them. I yank my sheets off and even my pillows. I take everything and shove it into the farthest corner of my closet and slam the door closed. Panting and sweating, I lean back against the door.

I wish my closet was a furnace. I wish everything inside would go up in flames. At the very least, I wish this door had a lock.

A flash in my mind—Crowe, licking his lips eagerly.

The thought of the blood and Shade ichor behind the door is enough to make my skin itch and crawl. I won’t be able to sleep in this room tonight.

Sam wants me in Major Calm right now. He sounded angry and though I don’t want to upset him even more, there are things I have to take care of. I wrap an old towel around me and walk to the bathroom. In the shower I make the water as hot as I can stand it and scrub myself from head to toe.

A flash—blood sprays across the front of me as Mikhail slashes a deadly arc through Crowe’s darkened form.

I scrub harder, rinse, and start again.

There’s a knock on the bathroom door.

“Addy?”

I have to struggle to speak. “Yeah Mom?”

“I didn’t hear you come in. Are you all right, honey?”

I turn the water off and step out.

“Mostly. Just a little queasy. I must have eaten something bad.”

Crowe’s body in bloody, unrecognizable pieces. Lumps on the pavement.

“Okay, well, maybe you should go to bed,” she says through the closed door. “Let your body rest.”

“I will.”

I DON’T go back into my own room. I go straight to Jana’s and pull some of her clothes from her dresser. I stare at the ceiling from under the covers of her bed. I try with difficulty to push violent images from my mind, and for the first time in a while, I think of how grateful I am that I can no longer dream.

Chapter 38

Before I can
even open my eyes I feel hands in mine. I awake to find Ember sitting on my right and Mel on my left. Both have one of my hands in a tight grip and both carry expressions of relief and curiosity.

I sit up and throw myself into their arms.

“I knew you’d make it through!” Mel says happily.

“Was it bad?” Ember asks.

I nod, too choked with emotion to speak.

Leaning back, I watch two pairs of eyes quickly scan for obvious injuries.

“I’m not hurt. Just freaked out a bit,” I say, smoothing my hair back out of my face.

Ember nods knowingly. “For good reason too.”

“Boss wants you in the conference room,” Mel says apologetically. “He’s already got Mikhail in there. We have an idea of what happened, but he still wants a full debriefing.”

“He’s angry,” I say, worried about facing him.

They both shake their heads.

“No, he isn’t, Addy,” Ember says reassuringly. “He’s worried, like the rest of us.”

I look into her emerald eyes and notice they’re red-rimmed. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

She smiles. “We’re Realmwalkers. That sort of thing tends to happen now and then.”

“Will you come with me?” I ask them.

“Of course!” says Mel.

Buoyed by their encouragement, I get up and make sure I’m not a complete mess. I pull my hair back in a quick ponytail and straighten my rumpled clothes.

In the conference room, Mikhail’s sitting behind one of the tables, and Sam’s in his usual place by the podium at the front, his face a storm cloud. Angel’s also here, along with Crank and Ben. Mel joins Ben while Ember and I take a seat at one of the empty tables.

“I’ve heard from Mikhail,” Sam starts as he shuffles through some papers on the podium. “Now it’s your turn. This is an incident report. It’s standard procedure after any Shade encounters top-side.”

“Okay,” I nod. Even from where I’m sitting, I can feel an unhappy energy emanating from him in waves.

“Start at the beginning,” he prompts.

I recant in detail the events of the night. I tell Sam about first seeing the Greater Shade and Crowe during my art show. Reluctantly, I admit I left my phone behind. I tell how Crowe found me in the parking lot, cornered me in my truck, and then forced me into his vehicle. I look at Mikhail as I tell how he showed up and killed the Greater Shade and then Crowe. I push the images of gore back down when they threaten to rise up and overtake me.

Through the whole retelling, Sam glares down at the papers on his podium. Occasionally he’ll jot down a note here, a detail there. When I’m done, I sit quietly and wait for him to finish scribbling.

After a minute he asks, without looking up, “Is that all?”

“Yes,” I say, taken back by his coldness and apparent disinterest.

“Okay. Good work, Mikhail.” Mikhail inclines his head in acknowledgement.

“Adelaide,” Sam says, finally looking at me. “Mikhail says you fought back, kicked the man?”

“Once, yes.”

“Good. Though next time, don’t leave your phone behind. That was negligent and I expect more from you.”

My cheeks get hot as the blood rises in my face. I stare at the table and nod, too embarrassed to even apologize.

Ember covers my hand with hers in a comforting gesture.

“All right, everyone,” Sam finishes, “happy hunting.”

The briefing now over, the others begin chatting and making their way to me. Mikhail promptly gets up and leaves. I’m saddened to see that no one notices. He’s the HERO and no one has any kind words for him.

As Crank, then Angel and Ben hug me and try to squeeze any remaining details out of me, I sense Sam leave the conference room. I try to ignore the hurt I feel at his lack of concern for me.

“Does this happen a lot?” I ask the others.

Mel answers. “Not often. But it does happen.”

Ben nods. “I’m sure it was frightening, Adelaide, but it’s actually a very good thing. This means one less Greater Shade walking the Earth.”

“Do you think it had anything to do with the Shade that’s here? The one that’s so powerful?” I ask.

Angel frowns thoughtfully. “It’s not likely. We haven’t had any breaches here in a while, so the Shade you ran into tonight has probably been top-side for quite some time.”

“But what are the odds of him being there at my art show? And of its human targeting me?” I wonder aloud.

“It’s not really that strange,” Ember says.

Crank bounces on his toes. “Oh that’s right! One came after you once too!”

I look at Ember, surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah. A few of us have had encounters with them top-side. It’s rare, but it happens. They’re probably drawn to us. Maybe they sense who we are.” She shrugs. “There’s so much we don’t know about Greater Shades, even after centuries of fighting them.”

After a few more minutes visiting with the others, I’m weary and eager for the whole ordeal to be over. After asking Ben if he could ship me a new Walker phone in the mail, I excuse myself to go get ready for the night of training ahead of me.

Mel has agreed to work with me and help me learn her ability to alter her shape. I agree to meet her in the training wing in a half hour.

As I head back to my room alone, I mull over the numerous emotions running through me. I’m frustrated. I should’ve fought back more. I hate that after everything I’ve learned I could still be so helpless. I have to learn to master my fear. My abilities are useless if I can’t get past the paralyzing panic.

I’m mortified and ashamed that I could slip up so badly as to forget my phone. I KNEW it was important to keep on me at all times. That seemingly simple mistake could have cost me my life. It could have cost the lives of others tonight too, including my mom.

When I think of Sam, I’m surprised to find I’m angry. After the terrifying encounter with Crowe, I was looking forward to seeing him, to hearing his voice, to the comfort I feel from being around him. I clench my jaw as I remember the anger on his face and the cold way he spoke to me in the conference room.

I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that my wounded pride had a lot to do with it. I hate the way he called me out in front of the others. It doesn’t matter that he was right. It doesn’t matter that I was wrong and stupid. It hurts that, at a time when the other Walkers are so obviously worried about me, he could seem so uncaring. So distant.

Once back in my room, I begin rummaging through my dresser to find some comfortable workout clothes. Before I can find anything to wear, there’s a knock at my door.

I sigh.

What now?

My sour mood’s made me bitter. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I only want to lose myself in training.

I’ve barely turned the knob when Sam pushes through the doorway and into my room. Startled, I stumble back a few paces. He grabs both of my arms and pulls me toward him. His hands slide along my back as he wraps his arms around me, molding us tightly together.

For the moment, I’m stunned. Last night I had choked down fearful tears, determined not to show weakness. Earlier tonight, I managed to stave off tears of anger, shame, and frustration. But now I’m finally broken. Water falls from my eyes as I bury my face in Sam’s neck. This is all I wanted. After everything I’ve been through in the last couple of hours, this is more than I could have hoped for.

“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice muffled through my tears. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t be angry anymore. I can’t take it.” He holds me tightly, almost desperately.

“I’m not angry,” he assures me quietly. “Not really. I just … I felt so helpless. I hate feeling that way.”

I scoff quietly. “Now you know how
I
feel every time you go out into Chaos.”

I absorb as much comfort from him as I can. I need this. The way he makes me feel—it’s like medicine. His steady confidence calms me, brings me back down, centers me. His unwavering strength feeds me and makes me stronger.

“I was so worried, Addy,” he whispers into my hair. “I’ve never been so afraid.”

I’m surprised—though deliriously happy—to hear this. Sam, who’s not frightened of anything, was afraid of losing me?

As he holds me, I begin to grow more aware of him and how he feels in my arms. The soft rise and fall of his chest against mine. His familiar smell, thick and rich. His strong arms along my back and shoulders. The places where his hands lay begin to burn under his touch.

Too soon though, he pulls away. I can feel my cheeks warm as our eyes meet. He clears his throat and steps back.

“You’ve had some pretty rotten luck the last couple of weeks,” he commiserates.

“No I haven’t,” I disagree.

He smiles crookedly at me and my heart melts. “You don’t think so? Do I need to remind you about all the close calls you’ve had since coming here?”

“I don’t see it that way.” I lift my chin stubbornly. “At least … I don’t want to.”

“Then how do you see it?” He indulges me, blue eyes sparkling.

“Chaos is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Oh really?” He raises his eyebrows.

“Yes, really!” I insist. “I’ve done things I’ve never thought I’d be able to do. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.”

“Go on,” he goads.

“My mom’s a millionaire now. She’s set for life!”

He laughs out loud at this. “And?”

“And most importantly, this is where I belong. I have friends here. ACTUAL friends! Family really. I’m surrounded by people who care about me, people who fight for me.”

His smile becomes genuine, all trace of teasing gone, and a deep warmth spreads throughout my chest.

“These have been the best two weeks of my life. I’ve never been more fortunate.” Saying the words aloud I realize how much I mean them.

“I’m really glad Mikhail got to you in time.” His eyes narrow thoughtfully. “Addy?”

“Hmm?” I thrill at the sound of him using my nickname.

“Did Mikhail say HOW he knew you needed help?”

“He didn’t tell you?” I ask, somewhat guarded.

Sam shakes his head. “He doesn’t carry a phone, even though I’ve asked him to repeatedly. So he couldn’t have heard from any of us.” He studies me carefully.

“Didn’t you ask him about it?”

“I did. He refused to tell me.” Exasperated, he runs a hand through his short hair. “Mikhail’s weird about some things. He seemed uncomfortable when I asked, and I was so grateful he saved you that I didn’t press him.”

He senses my hesitation.

“What is it?”

I’m reluctant to share what Mikhail obviously didn’t want to tell, but looking into Sam’s face I realize I can’t keep anything from him.

“He’s been …” I remember the way Mikhail put it, “checking on me.”

Sam’s eyebrows lower and come together. “What do you mean? Like, visiting you?”

I lift a shoulder in a shrug. “Sort of …”

“Addy,” he says, crossing his arms.

“I didn’t know about it until now. I mean, I kind of did. I knew someone had been watching me, but I didn’t know it was him until tonight.”

“So he’s been spying on you.”

“No!” I say defensively. “It’s not like that. He just said he was worried and was checking to make sure I was okay.”

I don’t like the suspicion on Sam’s face.

“Why does everyone always assume the worst from him?”

“You don’t think that’s weird, Addy? That he’s been watching you? Why not come out and say he’s there? Why creep around in the shadows?”

“I don’t know.” I search for a way to defend him. “He’s shy?” This doesn’t seem to pacify him. “Come on, Sam. If he HADN’T been checking on me, I’d probably be dead right now.”

“I know,” he says gravely. Without taking his eyes from mine, he reaches out and takes my hand. Slowly, he threads his fingers through mine. “And for that I’m thankful to him.”

Of all the unbelievable things to happen to me recently, this is one of the most surreal. Since first laying eyes on Sam I’ve been trying to ignore the undeniable attraction I’ve felt for him. Sometimes I’d daydream that he felt it too, but every time my heart would whisper hope to me, my mind would squash it down with thoughts of reason and logic.
I’m only a kid to him,
or
He could never see me that way
.

Feeling his rough hand in mind, I forget to breathe. He’s so close. His gaze travels down my face and rests on my mouth. Instinctively I move closer. His free hand lightly traces a path up my arm, over my shoulder. He touches my cheek, his face barely inches from mine.

Something in the open doorway behind him draws my eye. Standing in the hallway, glaring back at us, is Mikhail. Surprised, I gasp and step back. Sam looks at me puzzled then turns quickly to follow my gaze. No one’s there.

“What is it?” he asks, worried and confused.

“Mikhail,” I say, staring at the now-empty hallway.

“WHAT?” Sam rushes to the doorway and steps out into the hall, looking both ways. “There’s no one here. Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“That’s it. I’ve had enough of this.” I’m surprised at his anger. “I’m going to find him.”

“He was probably just walking by, that’s all,” I say, trying to defuse the situation. The trouble is I don’t believe my own words. The look on Mikhail’s face …

“His room isn’t even in this hallway. There’s no reason for him to be down here. If he comes back, if he bothers you in any way—”

“That’s nonsense,” I cut him off. “Mikhail’s a good guy. He’s a good walker, Sam.”

“I’m still going to talk to him.”

I think of the expression in Mikhail’s eyes. There was something there, something I’ve never seen in him before. It wasn’t anger—it was beyond anger. Hatred even. I nod finally.

“Just … be careful,” I say quietly.

“I will. You should go train. Mel’s probably waiting for you.”

As he leaves, I wonder how I’ll manage to focus at all tonight. I change quickly and leave for the training wing. The whole way there I can’t stop replaying what just happened—how close I was to kissing Sam. The cold fury in Mikhail’s eyes. Will Sam even be able to find him? If Mikhail doesn’t want to be found, I doubt anyone will.