Chaos (19 page)

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Authors: Megan Derr

Tags: #M/M romance, fantasy, Lost Gods series

BOOK: Chaos
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Just as he began to give up, David ran—literally—into a wall. For a moment, he just clung to it, eyes closed and stinging with tears too cold to shed. When he finally got a hold of himself, he got his bearings and began to walk along the wall, hazarding a guess as to where he might find Sasha.

What if Sasha had gone the other way? What if David had taken too long and he was already somewhere else?

Ignoring the fear and doubt as best he could, David pushed on. He was tired, hungry, cold—so light-forsaken cold. If he failed, no one would look for him. He doubted anyone would miss him. That alone was enough to keep him going, keep him trying—until his foot caught on something and he tumbled into the snow with a yelp.

He scrambled up, tripped, and wound up on his back, out of breath and irritated with himself. He lay there until he calmed down, then drew a deep breath and climbed to his feet. David stared at what was just barely visible at the bottom of the snow—snow that was not nearly as deep as what he had just been trudging through. He knelt to get a closer look, pressed his fingers against it.

It was a road, an actual paved road. The stones were gray and dingy, cracked in most places and some places there were only holes where stones had been. Standing, he looked around—and then saw the enormous shape that towered so close to him. Looking it over, trailing his eyes all the way down its length, he realized it was the creature's tail he had tripped over.

A Great Sentinel—and it was dead. Disbelief and elation poured through David, making him forget the cold. "Sasha!" he bellowed. "Sasha!"

No one replied, but it wasn't as if he'd expected an answer. Hoped, perhaps, but not expected. David began walking around the dead Great Sentinel in hopes of a clue, any clue, as to where Sasha might be.

The Great Sentinel really was as massive as all the legends had said. It seemed the size of a few houses and taller than four or five of them stacked together. Walking around it seemed to take an age, and by the end he was trembling with the effort.

As he finished circling it, nearly back to where he had begun, he saw the door. It was near the enormous gate, which was made of thick, spiked iron bars and felt like magic even from such a distance. The bars looked as though each was as big as his arm, if not bigger; the entire gate looked too heavy to move. Strangely, when he looked through them he could see nothing—not a single hint as to what was on the other side of the Great Wall.

Strange, but at present it was the door beside the gate that really puzzled him. It must be a gatehouse, but why would there be a gatehouse at the Great Wall?

Well, at least he could rest, recuperate his strength, and try to figure out what to do next. Reaching the door, David shoved it open, stumbled inside, and managed to close it again. He turned around to take in his surroundings and cried out in shock when he saw the figure passed out before the dying remains of a fire.

Stumbling across the room as quickly as he could manage, he stiffly removed his pack and dumped it on the floor before he dropped down next to Sasha. Carefully looking him over, heart thudding in his chest, only after several minutes of checking and double checking did David slump back in relief. Sasha looked tired, and rather battered from his fight, but he was all right.

Wiping tears from his face, David set about rebuilding the fire, wondering absently who had left the pile of wood that was stacked in one corner. When the fire was burning and the little room began to warm up, he stripped out of his sodden clothes and quickly changed into dry ones. Next, he turned to Sasha, amused despite everything that he was once more nursing Sasha back to health. Tossing the wet clothes aside, he reached out to lightly stroke his fingers over the scars on Sasha's stomach.

How many more times would Sasha come so close to death? If David could choose his own fate, then he wanted that fate to be keeping Sasha alive.

Rifling through Sasha's bags, he found a change of clothes that did not smell great, but were dry. He quickly got Sasha changed and then set up a proper bed with both of their bedrolls. When that was done, he carefully dragged Sasha onto it, concerned and amused that he did not so much as stir.

After Sasha was settled he double checked the door was closed and threw the bar to secure it. He returned to Sasha and added a bit more wood to the fire before he lay down beside Sasha and drew their cloaks up over them. They fit together exactly as he remembered from those few nights they had shared a bed, and for the first time in days, David finally felt as though he was right where he was meant to be. Closing his eyes, he fell immediately to sleep.

Chapter Twelve: Together

Sasha woke feeling as though he had been thrown against a wall and then stomped on. His back ached fiercely and his left hip felt as though someone had driven a hot knife into it. Whoever had attempted to bash his head in with a rock … hadn't that happened before? … needed to finish the job and put him out of his misery.

A hazy memory surfaced, then solidified:  he
had
been thrown into a wall. The Great Wall, by a Great Sentinel. The scorching monster had a nasty tail swing and could move shockingly fast for something of its size. If he had to guess, he'd put the bastard at pretty close to sanctuary of the Cathedral of Ashes in size. That didn't include the wings that Sasha had gotten a hint of, and he was grateful the weather had kept him from learning how something so large was able to fly.

The smell of something cooking slowly drifted into his awareness, followed by the smell of a familiar tea. Memory smells. As tired and sore as he was, Sasha was not at all surprised he was smelling those things that reminded him of being warm and comfortable and safe, of those two weeks he had spent with David. The only thing better would have been the sweet, fresh-herb scent of David himself that even days of work and no chance to properly bathe could not entirely erase. He smiled ever so faintly, thinking of David's gentle touch as he helped Sasha to sit up so he could drink the tea that eased the worst of his pain.

He needed to open his eyes, get his bearings, and head for the next Great Sentinel. That reminded him he wanted a closer look at the gate the Great Sentinel had been guarding, to confirm that he really would have to kill all twelve in order to get through the Great Wall. He hoped it was twelve, and not thirteen as he feared, because the twelve he knew how to find were going to be difficult enough.

Sighing inwardly, stomach growling as his mind continued to insist there was food cooking, Sasha braced himself and tried to move—and immediately regretted it as every throbbing ache woke into sharp pain. Make a sound that was somewhere between a groan and a whimper, Sasha relaxed back into the bedding and prayed for unconsciousness or death.

Wait. Bedding? He hadn't made a bed … had he? No, he hadn't. That scorching Great Sentinel had nearly gotten him, and Sasha had exhausted himself calling upon magic powerful enough to subdue it. He'd managed to retrieve his weapons and crawl, quite literally, into the gatehouse. It had taken all his remaining strength to light a fire, and then he had simply passed out.

So where in the Flames had the bedding come from? Sasha finally dragged his eyes open and at first, saw only dark. But as his eyes began to sort it all out, he realized he was covered by a cloak lined in dark gray fur. That wasn't his cloak; his was entirely black.

The sound of movement filtered into his awareness, and Sasha swallowed. He wasn't alone. Someone had found him. But who? How? Even David would not have known he was headed for the Great Wall—and even if he had, David had made it pretty clear he wanted no part of Sasha anymore.

Sasha gritted his teeth and shifted slightly, immediately regretting the movement, but fire and ash he was going to get up—

And then the cloak was pulled carefully away, and the fragrant, sharp scent of Black Hill's healing tea filled his nostrils. All Sasha saw, however, was David, who smiled in his shy, sweet way as he set the tea aside and helped Sasha sit up. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was thrown into a wall," Sasha said hoarsely. He took a sip of tea when David held the cup to his lips, grateful for the way it soothed a throat he had not realized had taken the same beating as the rest of him had. "Which, incidentally, I was," he added, then took another sip of tea before asking quietly, "What are you doing here, David?"

David flushed and did not immediately reply, simply focused on helping him drink the tea until it was all gone. By the time he'd finished, the worst of Sasha's pain had been muffled. "Feel up to some food?" David asked.

"A little, perhaps," Sasha said. "Why are you here?"

"I woke up in Oak Hill and realized you were gone and … I tried to head toward Unheilvol. I left with a caravan and was on my way. But it didn't feel right. Then everything went wrong and I no longer knew what to do. We heard you fighting the Great Sentinel, and I knew I had to try to find you."

Sasha's brows shot up at that. "You heard me fighting it and decided to come find me? Are you mad? You could have died! You had no guarantee I would be here or even where to find me—"

"I had to try!" David said, hands fisting in his lap. "All I could think was that I would never see you again, that things were so … different, better, when you were around. That without you, I'd just be in Black Hill bartering supplies my whole life. You were good to us, and I shouldn't have gotten mad—"

Reaching out, Sasha stilled the flood of words with a finger to David's lips.

"I missed you," David finished, looking down, skin flushing.

Sasha slowly drew his hand back, admitting, "I missed you, too. But it was probably for the best that we parted ways, David. What I'm doing … I am fairly certain I will not come out of it alive. I do not want you to die with me. Should I fail, being near me will not help you. If I succeed, you'll have an entire new life ahead of you."

"I want to stay with you," David whispered, looking at him, every thought and feeling plain upon his face. Such honesty, such openness, was a rarity in Sasha's world. How he knew that, he couldn't say, but he knew it was true. David was a wildflower when Sasha spent all his time amongst carefully cultivated roses.

He wondered if being with him would prove a chance for David to flourish, or cause him to wither.

David looked away. "I'm sorry I yelled at  you and accused you of killing Reimund. It's not like you did it on purpose or anything. It's just …" He trailed off, shaking his head. "Let me stay with you. I can make tea and food. I know the customs of Schatten and can move around without attracting attention—"

"It would be wiser for you to go," Sasha murmured. "But you're capable of making your own choices." Sasha was a selfish fool, and he knew it, but he also did not care. David had come for him, and he would be damned if he sent him away again. "You can stay if that's what you want," Sasha said. "I'm happy to have you back."

Beaming at him, David gathered up the tea cup and rose to fetch food. Sasha resisted an urge to drag him back and steal a kiss, mostly because he knew he was in absolutely no shape for even that much. Haste would not do him favors, either.

He shouldn't have been thinking about bedding David at all, but there was no point in denying that was exactly what he wanted to do—and was going to do, scorch the consequences.

Except that David was the one who would be hurt when Sasha died or returned to Pozhar. But if he lived, did he have to return? As usual, his mind provided no answers.

Thankfully, David pulled him out of his thoughts when he returned with a cup of soup that smelled remarkably fragrant. "Thank you," he said, relieved when he proved capable of holding the cup himself. "It smells wonderful."

"I've learned to carry herbs when I'm going to be travelling a lot," David said with a smile. "Anything that helps to stave off the monotony of camp food. But you do the same thing, so you know how awful camp food can get."

"Yes, all too well." Sasha closed his eyes, stomach growling for things it would never have again:  borsht, schii, pelmeni … he did miss the food back home.

He forced the thoughts away, not interested in torturing himself, and drank the soup, setting the cup aside when he was done. "I cannot believe you found me. How did you know where to go?"

David shrugged. "I didn't, really. I only knew to head for the Great Wall. From there, I just had to guess which direction you had gone. But I figured even if I picked wrong, eventually circling the wall would lead me to you."

"Did it occur to you that you would have run into a Great Sentinel I had not gotten to killing yet?"

The look on David's face, the way his skin paled, made it very clear he had
not
thought of that. Sasha smothered a smile by ducking his head, and only then did he realize that his bed was actually a combination of bedrolls and cloaks.

Looking up again, he asked, "How long was I asleep?"

"The better part of two days since I found you, and I don't think you were unconscious very long before that."

Two days. Sasha grimaced. "If this happens to me every time I kill one of those things, it's going to take months to kill all of them. Though it would be a good sight easier to do if the weather was not so brutal."

"Hopefully the weather will begin to ease soon," David said quietly, running his finger around the rim of his cup for a moment before he set it aside and fussed with the fire instead. "It should have stopped snowing this badly weeks ago, but it just keeps coming. Spring is only about a month away. I don't know what we'll all do if the snow carries over into the planting season …" He trailed off, brow furrowed, teeth worrying his bottom lip.

Sasha looked away, reminding his body sternly that he wasn't in shape for
any
sort of nonsense, even if his only intent was to soothe. His gaze swept the room they were in, and a question he'd hazily asked himself before collapsing returned. "Why is there a gatehouse? I thought the Great Sentinels were the only ones who guarded the wall."

"I don't know," David said. "I thought it was strange, too. Was the wall perhaps here before Lord Licht was lost and back then they had guards to man the gates? I always thought back then Sonnenstrahl was welcome to all …"

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