Chaos (9 page)

Sebastian

The silence that followed my final statement made my stomach churn. I kept my eyes on Toby and Leif, flipping from one to the other, waiting for someone to say something.

“Do you think that maybe it wasn’t Conrad?” Chloe asked.

I was surprised by how engaged she’d been through the entire conversation. She was the only one who seemed to be peppering me with questions.

“Do you think it might’ve been Lauren?” Toby asked before I could answer Chloe.

I met Toby’s dark, stormy gaze. He was dead serious. And in that moment, I couldn’t have loved him more. He had always been like a brother to me, and the relief of knowing he wasn’t questioning my sanity was almost too much to bear.

“I’m with Toby,” Leif added. “As much as I dislike your ol’ man, I’m leaning toward thinking Lauren had something to do with it.”

“Seriously,” Toby added. “What would Conrad have to gain by offing her? But Lauren…”

“Exactly,” Chloe added. “Lauren had everything to gain. If your mother did ask Conrad for money, then Lauren probably knew about it. If Lauren thought your mother was desperate enough to go public, then Lauren would have to endure that black cloud over her perfect life.”

“I’m not sure that’s enough of a motive to kill someone,” Aaron stated. “Not that I don’t see where everyone’s coming from, but what if she’d gotten caught? Then it would’ve all come crashing down around her anyway.”

“But no one was caught,” Leif tacked on.

“That’s why we’re here,” Payton spoke up. “Obviously Sebastian needs closure, and we’re his family,” she said, speaking to everyone at the table. “But he’s not just bringing this up now to stir up shit.”

I thought she was incredibly cute when she cursed; I had no idea why. I smiled, grasping her hand between both of mine, where I’d had it for the last half hour.

“Did something happen?” Toby asked.

“When we were in Vegas,” Payton began, “Conrad insisted that I meet him and Lauren for breakfast. Without Sebastian. Lauren’s nephew, Trevor, was there. I only recently learned that Conrad was hiring him. It looks like he’s being put in Sebastian’s place.”

“What does that mean? Like replacing you? Conrad’s gonna fire you?” Toby asked me directly.

I glanced around at the others, realizing I hadn’t yet told them that I’d quit. “He can’t fire me,” I replied, “I already quit.”

The table was silent for a moment, everyone looking at me as though I might have more to say. I didn’t. That was the gist of it. I quit. End of story.

“What do we know about this guy?” Leif asked, breaking the silence, his face stern.

“We know that he’s been brought up on charges of aggravated sexual assault,” I announced.

Payton’s head turned toward me so fast I was surprised her neck didn’t hurt.

“Are you serious?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“I wonder if that was what Lauren was referring to when she said he’d been in some trouble but they’d gotten that taken care of.”

“Money does buy a lot,” Chloe offered.

“Anyway,” Payton continued, turning her attention back to the others. “Monday morning, when I was at work, Conrad confronted me about Sebastian moving out and quitting his job. He tried, for the second time, mind you, to convince me that Sebastian was unstable.”

“Right,” Toby snorted. “Sebastian’s the unstable one.”

“I told him I was uncomfortable with the conversation and eventually walked out on him. But Lauren called and…” Payton’s sentence trailed off as she looked down at the table. “Lauren threatened me. Told me that if I wanted to keep my job, I needed to tell Sebastian that he wasn’t welcome back in her family now that he had officially severed ties.”

“What a bitch!” Chloe exclaimed, causing Aaron and Garrett to laugh.

“You could say that. She called me again today. Told me that I didn’t need to bother coming to work tomorrow if I didn’t tell him.”

“Fuck them!” Chloe shouted. “You don’t need that shit.”

“But I do,” Payton clarified. “Working for Conrad is the only way we might be able to find out some things. I don’t know how and I don’t know what yet, but we’ve kinda run out of other options.”

“Derrick might be able to help us,” Leif stated, referring to his mother’s boyfriend. “He’s a detective with the Austin PD. I can talk to him if you want.”

“I think I should be the one to talk to him,” I told him. As much as I appreciated the help, I knew I had to be the one to face this head on.

“We can talk to him together,” Leif inserted.

“I wanna be there,” Toby said.

“Me, too,” Chloe added.

“This is some serious shit,” Aaron muttered.

“Yeah, it is,” I told him. “And I completely understand if you don’t want to help.”

“Oh, I didn’t say that,” Aaron said more confidently. “I wanna bring the crazy bitch down just as much as the next guy. I’m just not sure how I can help.”

“I’m sure we’ll come up with something,” Toby said.

“What about Aaliyah?” Leif asked, drawing all eyes to him.

“What about her?” I asked.

“I take it she doesn’t know any of this.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Payton clarified. “The night of the wreck, I tried calling Conrad. When he didn’t answer, I called Lauren and told her what happened. She listened to me, but she never showed up.

“Conrad hasn’t mentioned anything to me about the wreck,” I added. “Not once. My guess is she didn’t relay the message.”

When I was finished, Payton continued, “I also called Aaliyah that night and told her to call me. She never has.”

“I haven’t talked to her much,” I told them. “I saw her a few times, but I was trying to keep her out of this as much as I could. Knowing that Lauren didn’t tell my father or my sister that I’d been in a car accident made me wary.”

“Rightfully so,” Garrett mumbled.

“I think she needs to know,” Payton tacked on. “I think she’s gonna be pissed that we kept this from her.”

I met Leif’s gaze from the other end of the table. “Yeah, she’s not gonna be too happy with me. Especially when she finds out what happened to you.”

Leif’s eyes lowered to the table, and I think he was relieved to know that Aaliyah wasn’t avoiding him. She just didn’t know what was going on. Not that I was looking forward to dealing with my little sister’s wrath, but I agreed with Payton. She needed to know. At least some of it. After all, she was the one who had access to their house.

“Well, I think we need a plan,” Chloe said, looking at me directly.

A chorus of “I agree” sounded at the table, and for the first time all day, my lungs actually filled with air. I’d been holding my breath, not sure what they would say or do when I shared my story with them, but it looked like Payton had been right.

Now we just had to figure out what we were going to do and how we were going to do it.

It was late by the time Payton and I crawled into bed. I was surprised when Payton had taken a break to call Conrad, leaving him a message on his work voice mail that she wouldn’t be in the office tomorrow. She told him she wasn’t feeling well.

When I looked at her, she merely shrugged her shoulders.

I got it. I really did.

After Garrett, Aaron, Toby, and Chloe had left, I had spent a solid half hour talking to Leif while Payton had taken a shower. My best friend wasn’t all that happy with me, but he told me he understood why I’d never said anything. He also made a call, talking to his mother for a few minutes before asking her for Derrick’s phone number. He came up with some lame excuse, but she eventually gave it to him. Leif told me that he’d make the call first thing in the morning.

Now, as I lay in bed with Payton in my arms, I couldn’t go to sleep. She had crawled beneath the blankets, clad in one of my T-shirts, and not five minutes after she’d laid her head on my chest, I heard her breaths even out. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t get my brain to shut off.

I had so many things to do, and not everything revolved around this shit with my father and his wife.

I had a business to get off the ground. I’d made a point to call a few of the people I’d worked with closely at Trovato, Inc., mainly a couple of suppliers and one account rep who I’d spent time talking to whenever I had a new prototype in the works. All three of them had been keenly interested in my new business venture.

Conrad wasn’t going to be too happy with the news, but his reaction didn’t bother me in the least. I knew what I was doing when it came to the direction I wanted to go for my new business. Or at least I hoped I did.

However, I had no fucking clue what I was supposed to do in regard to figuring out my mother’s death. I wasn’t a cop or any sort of investigator, so I didn’t have the slightest idea where to begin. While telling my friends, who also weren’t cops, mind you, had taken some of the weight off my shoulders, I couldn’t see how it was going to help.

But my secret was out. The only thing I could do was put one foot in front of the other the same way I’d done for the last eleven years. See what tomorrow would bring and deal with it then.

For now, I just wanted to be content with what I had.

Payton.

So, as I forced my eyes closed, I thought about Christmas, which was just a couple of weeks away. I already knew exactly what I was getting Payton, and I hoped, with Chloe’s help, I could have it ready by then.

Sebastian

Ten days later

Friday

Christmas was less than a week away, and for the last several days, I’d been so busy, half the time I didn’t know what day it was. I’d spent some time with Derrick, Leif’s mother’s boyfriend, giving him the gory details of my suspicions. Just as I’d thought, he hadn’t seemed too positive that he could help. According to him, digging into a decade-old case based on a hunch or suspicion was probably going to raise more questions than answers.

I’d resorted to taking Payton to work and picking her up because Trevor was becoming a nuisance, and truthfully, I didn’t trust the asshole as far as I could throw him. When Payton had informed me that Trevor insisted on walking her to her car every day, I’d put a stop to that shit instantly. In an attempt to not interfere with Payton’s job, I had waited outside for her one evening, and when Trevor had come waltzing out the door alongside her, I’d told him exactly how things were going to work. Today Aaron had offered to pick her up, but he was in on my plan, so I was okay with that.

What I really wanted to do was confront Conrad and ask him what the fuck he was thinking, but we weren’t really on speaking terms.

As for my house, it seemed as though there was one stranger or another traipsing through it every single day. Between the alarm system, satellite, Internet, pool equipment, and yard stuff, it was a never-ending trail of one person after another interrupting my day. But that had ceased for the last few days, everything seemingly in its place. Finally.

Leif had gone back to work last week, still taking it easy but pushing to get back to his fighting form. He and I had started working out in the evenings together, and hopefully in a couple of months, he would be up for running with me as well. For now, he still had to go slow. Toby had even graced us with his presence a few times, insisting that he was there to provide comedic relief. The guy was crazy, but I appreciated the effort. Surprisingly, neither of them were treating me with kid gloves, which I appreciated more than they knew.

We were planning another get-together tomorrow night for dinner at my house. This time Aaliyah was coming. I had put off talking to her until now, not quite sure what I was supposed to say. But I knew it had to be done.

However, tonight was just going to be Payton and me. I’d decided to take her back out to the track so we could be alone for a little while. I had no desire to race, not sure I ever would again after what had happened to Leif, but the track was somewhere I’d gone to clear my head before, and now seemed like a good time to revisit it.

I’d decided to make it an official date because Payton and I hadn’t been on one in a while. She’d seemed excited about that. After informing her that it would be casual, I’d told her I would pick her up at seven. She’d assured me that she’d be home, and now, as I was pulling into her apartment complex, I saw her car parked in her usual space.

It was cold outside, but not unbearably so. December in Texas was generally iffy as far as weather went. The temps could vary drastically, ranging from below freezing to upwards of seventy degrees. We hadn’t seen any seventy-degree days in at least a week, which mean winter was now upon us. No snow for us, though; at most, we’d get some sleet in the coming days, but tonight was clear, the breeze minimal. However, I did come prepared.

Walking up to Payton’s second-floor apartment, I was surprised to find I was a little nervous. Although she’d spent a few nights at my place, she’d spent several in her own bed. I was hoping to put a stop to that soon. If she was on board with the idea, that was. Asking Payton to move in with me was a big step, and some might think we were rushing things, but I didn’t. Not to mention, I didn’t really give a shit what other people thought, anyway.

I rapped my knuckles on the front door and waited. I wasn’t surprised to see Toby’s smiling face when the door opened. Nor was I shocked when he shut the damn thing in my face, either. I merely turned the knob and let myself in. He was giving back as good as he got.

“Hey,” Chloe greeted from where she stood in the kitchen.

“Hey. You making pancakes for your man tonight?”

“Oh, shut it.” She laughed. I still loved to give her shit about it.

“I’m sure there’re other things he doesn’t like that he hasn’t told you about yet.”

“Whatever, bro. I’ve told her everything.”

“Right,” I replied, glancing at Payton’s closed bedroom door. “She in there?”

“Yep. She’ll be out in a sec. She said to tell you to wait for her.”

I’d wait a lifetime for her, but I didn’t say that to Chloe or Toby. Instead, I flopped on the couch beside Toby. “How’s work?” I asked him, trying to make small talk.

“Same ol’ shit, different day,” he answered, not taking his eyes off the TV.

“Did the buyout go through?” I asked, referring to the fact that the independently owned shop he’d been working at for the last few years had just been bought out by one of the big boys who had bled their business down to Austin from Dallas.

“It’ll be complete next week.”

“You still gonna have a job?”

“Not sure,” he said glumly.

“Well, I’ve got a proposition for you. Maybe we can get together on Sunday to talk?”

Toby peered over at me, a little bit of interest sparkling in his eyes. “Yeah. What time?”

“Doesn’t matter to me. Just don’t wake my ass up at the butt crack of dawn.”

Toby nodded, then turned his attention back to the television.

Payton’s bedroom door opened and she stepped out. She was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt, with her jacket flung over her arm. As far as I was concerned, it didn’t matter if she was wearing jeans or a formal gown, the woman was stunning.

I instantly stood.

“Hi,” she greeted shyly. It still amazed me that she seemed bashful at times around me. We’d been together long enough that I would’ve thought we’d be past that point. Nonetheless, it was nice. Then again, everything about her was nice.

“You ready?” I asked.

“Yep,” she said and then turned to Chloe. “I’m staying at Sebastian’s for the weekend.”

“Gotcha,” Chloe replied, chopping something on the counter. “We’ll see y’all tomorrow night, right?” Her eyes slid up to meet mine briefly.

“Yep. We’re still on for tomorrow.”

Payton came to stand beside me, and I helped her put her coat on, smiling down at her while I did. When she was buttoned up, I took her hand and led her to the door.

“Hey, Chloe?” I called as I pulled the door open.

“Yeah?”

“Did Toby mention that he doesn’t like salad?”

I ushered Payton out onto the landing and closed the door to Chloe’s disbelieving rant.

“Is he serious? You don’t like salad? Why didn’t you tell me that?” Her high-pitched squeal was the last thing I heard as I shut the door, again smiling down at Payton.

“Is that true? He doesn’t like salad?”

“No, he likes salad fine. I just figured I’d give him a hard time. He’ll have to work overtime to convince her otherwise, though.”

Payton giggled as I led her down the stairs and into my truck.

After she climbed inside, I shut her door and walked around to the driver’s side. A few seconds later, we were pulling out of the apartment complex.

“Where’re we going?” she asked, reaching forward and fumbling with the heater controls.

“I thought we’d have dinner first. You hungry?”

“Starving,” she admitted. Once she was content with the blast of the heater, she put her hand on my leg. I glanced down at her fingers, instantly thinking about her Christmas present.

Forcing my gaze back to the road, I made the short drive to the Italian restaurant that she loved. It wasn’t one of those fancy chain restaurants, and I’d been surprised the first time she had convinced me to take her there. I’d been meaning to take her back, but as usual, so many things had happened, we hadn’t been able to go on a date in a while.

But here we were. I parked in the semi-full lot close to the door. She climbed out the driver’s side door behind me, and we headed into the restaurant hand in hand.

I was shocked as shit when we were greeted by name, but Payton didn’t seem at all surprised, so I went with it. Apparently, when it came to small, family-owned restaurants, they remembered their patrons, even if they’d only come in once before. Kind of nice, actually. We were seated immediately, and dinner, as it always was when I was with Payton, was fabulous.

A couple of hours later, after making it through the gates of the track and locking them behind us, I pulled the truck off into the grass. I climbed out, then helped Payton out behind me. Before rolling down the window and turning up the radio, I reached behind the seat, grabbing two blankets that I’d stashed there before I left the house.

“You keep blankets in your truck?” Payton asked suspiciously as she waited for me to take her hand. I led her a few feet from the truck and then spread one of the blankets on the thick grass.

“I do.” It wasn’t a total lie. After all, I did have two blankets in the truck. But she didn’t have to know that I’d stored them there for just this particular instance. I’d known before I’d picked her up where I wanted to take her, and as far as I was concerned, it was always good to be prepared.

Payton lowered herself to the blanket while I unfolded the other one. She reclined on her elbows as she stared up at the sky, the stars bright overhead without the harshness of city lights to hinder their glow. Her jean-clad legs were out in front of her, ankles crossed. I joined her, lying on my side and propping myself on my elbow so that I could look at her.

“What’s so special about this place?” Payton asked, but the question wasn’t condescending. She sounded as though she honestly wanted to know. “I mean, I get why you came here before. You needed to get away, needed the release you get when you race, but really. Why here?”

“I started coming here when I was sixteen. The minute I got my license, I knew what I wanted to do.”

Payton glanced over at me, her eyebrow sliding up. She was encouraging me to talk, I knew. She’d gotten rather good at that over the past couple of months. “Race?”

I nodded. “Racing’s like a drug. The faster I go, the calmer I feel.”

“Do you prefer racing for money?”

I hesitated for a moment, thinking about the last race. The one that had ended with Leif’s life hanging in the balance. “If you asked me that a couple of months ago, I probably would’ve said yes,” I told her, meeting her gaze. “I’ve raced for money too many times to count. But honestly, for me, it was never about the money.”

“Do you want to race again?” I could tell she was thinking back to that night.

“I’m not sure. Right now, no. I don’t know if that’ll always be the case, though.”

“Because of what happened with Leif?”

I studied her face in the dark, the glimmer of the moonlight on her hair, the whiteness of her teeth glowing in the dark. “Yeah,” I replied.

“What about this?” she asked, nodding her head toward the track. “It seems more controlled.”

“It is. That doesn’t mean there aren’t wrecks. But there aren’t so many variables, I guess.”

“Is it still there? The need to clear your head?”

I didn’t pull my eyes from hers as I said, “Not so much anymore, no. And that doesn’t have anything to do with what happened.” I paused, swallowing. “Since I met you, it’s been easier to deal with.”

“What has?”

“The chaos. The noise in my head.” I glanced out at the darkness in front of us. “I’d gotten so used to it, but then I met you, and I found out what it was like without the constant chaos. Before you, I used racing and working out to quiet it. I don’t need them as much anymore.”

Payton stared back at me, but she didn’t say anything. She seemed to be scrutinizing me. And then she smiled, wide and bright.

I chuckled. “What’re you smiling at?”

“You.”

“Why?” I didn’t mind her smiling, it was actually one of my favorite things, but I could tell she was thinking.

“Is it bad that I want you to kiss me right now?” she whispered, her smile slowly fading, although I could still see remnants of her happiness at the corners of her eyes.

“No, definitely not a bad thing,” I whispered back, easing closer to her as I cupped her face with one hand. Turning her head slightly, I glanced down at her mouth, swiping my thumb over her bottom lip, then met her gaze once again. Unable to resist, I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers. She was so soft and so warm. When she relaxed onto the blanket, her arms wreathing my neck, I gave in to her.

Her mouth was sweet, her tongue teasing mine gently. But I knew I couldn’t restrain myself for long. I wanted this woman with a desperation I’d never known before. It didn’t seem to matter how many hours or days or weeks passed, I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of her. I looked forward to a lifetime with this woman. From the beginning, I hadn’t been looking for a one-night stand with Payton. I’d known the very first time I’d laid eyes on her that I wanted much, much longer than that.