Channeler's Choice (18 page)

“
We’re not supposed to be. I think it has something to do with this master Rector thing.”

“
Well, it’s pretty amazing.” The awe in Fane’s voice and the reverence on his face made the whole master Rector thing a little less overwhelming. After all, it wasn’t like he was alone anymore.

“
We must embrace who we become

within our Societies, but never forget

where we began.”

~from
Life In A Society

Chapter 15

Footsteps creaked on the stairs leading up to Eren’s attic suite. She sat up on her bed, reaching for another tissue. Her vision was blurred and her eyes felt puffy. She was fairly certain she looked to be as big a mess as she felt. Why wouldn’t her grandfather just leave her alone?

“
Grandfather, really, I don’t want anything,” she called out as she heard the first steps on her hardwood floor.

“
Not even double chocolate mocha ice cream? Seriously, cause I think every girl in your state needs that,” came Caitlin’s voice.

Eren almost smiled, then the tears welled up again. Would Caitlin think she was horrible for considering taking the pills? Surely she’d heard about her and Aiden’s fight, or else why would she come bearing ice cream? By now the whole school had probably spread the news about it.

“
I’m not really up for company.”

Heeled boots clicking on the wooden floors, Caitlin practically skipped into the room and plopped down on Eren’s bed beside her. “Of course you’re not, which is why I’m here.”

Sniffling loudly, Eren turned away and faced the window. Muted light poured through the glass, assaulting her eyes. Normally the sun felt good, its energy revived her. But today she wanted to hide from everything that reminded her of being a channeler. It was kind of impossible with Caitlin’s energy dancing around her, but she was determined to try.

“
I thought you knew about the choice, I swear. I would have told you if I knew you didn’t.”

Eren shrugged and tried to will her to go away. All it would take was a good shove with her power, but there was no way she was going to do that. A growing part of her never wanted to use it again.

The bubbly energy rolling off Caitlin became heavy with sadness and retreated, though Caitlin herself never moved.

“
Is it really so bad being one of us? I know I’m probably not like your friends from L.A. but I thought—”

The pain in her voice cracked the wall that was going up around Eren’s heart and made her realize how selfish she was being. Turning around, Eren grabbed Caitlin’s arm, stopping the flow of words.

“
No, you’re not. You’re a better person than any of them could ever be,” Eren said.

Caitlin looked down. “Too bad my parents disagree.” A moment later she met Eren’s gaze and the creases between her eyebrows had smoothed out and her bright pink lips were curved up into a smile. “Well, I am the best healer channeler in the junior class.”

“
And probably the senior class too, but that isn’t why. You’re a good person inside,” Eren said.

Smile widening, Caitlin glanced down at the carton of ice cream in her lap, but not before Eren saw the gleam of moisture in her eyes. Something fluttered in Eren’s chest. What had she said wrong?

“
You know, even if you choose to take the pills, you’ll still be my best friend. Nothing will change that,” Caitlin said.

Tears stung Eren’s eyes again and her chest tightened as though her lungs couldn’t expand. For so long she had thought only about what she’d lost when she became a channeler. Now, sitting here with Caitlin, she realized how much she had gained. Caitlin was so good to her, she felt like she at least owed her an explanation.

“
It’s not that I don’t want to be a channeler, it’s just…” the rest of the words wouldn’t come out. If she said them, she feared it would give them the power to come true.

Heaving a deep sigh, Caitlin’s eyes dropped. “You just want to be normal.”

Eren shook her head and the words came in a rush. “It’s not that either. I’m just not sure I want to be this warrior channeler of legend that my grandfather says I’m destined to be.”

One light blond eyebrow went up as Caitlin frowned at her. “It’s only a Mayan legend. The world isn’t going to end in our lifetime and there isn’t going to be a war to decide the fate of the earth. Its old superstition is all.” Her tone mimicked Eren’s grandfather’s so well that it almost made Eren smile.

For a moment the twinkle left Caitlin’s eyes and she fixed Eren with a serious look. “You can’t let superstition rule your life. It’s too short not to seize it.”

Coming from Caitlin who was always so flippant, such words packed a lot of punch. Five hundred years didn’t seem short at all to Eren, but she got Caitlin’s meaning. Death could find even a channeler at any time. It found her parents, and Aiden’s. Sitting up, Eren drew her legs beneath her.

“
You’re right.”

Caitlin beamed. “Of course I am.” She handed Eren a spoon. “So what do you say we start seizing a bit of this ice cream?”

Using her sleeve to wipe away the rest of her tears, Eren accepted one of the spoons. Smile fully restored, Caitlin took the lid off the ice cream. The way her energy lit up the room made Eren realize the world was always a better place when Caitlin was around. Maybe it was time to let her old life go and embrace her new one.

The first delicious spoonful of ice cream chilled Eren’s tongue and she closed her fluttering eyes, reveling in the taste. Laughter bubbled from Caitlin, making Eren almost forget her anger and frustration. With a friend like Caitlin by her side, she thought maybe there was a chance she could let go of the past. And just maybe, her parents would understand.

“
Our power and long

life spans are not advantages over

normal people, they are responsibilities.”

~from
Life In A Society
.

Chapter 16

Paint flew from Eren’s brush as she attacked the canvas with a vengeance while singing along to a particularly angry Avril Lavigne song. The drop cloth beneath her feet was splattered with red, orange, and pink paint, making her room look like a crime scene. So absorbed was she in the painting that was emerging, she didn’t even notice the mess. For at least the hundredth time, she stepped back to look at her work.

It was of a massive, Victorian-style house with the sun setting behind it, casting an array of colors all around it. With so many colors on the canvas, it should have looked cheery and beautiful. But the windows were all dark, the open garage was empty, and the plants and lawn surrounding the house were all dead. The painting had a forlorn, empty feel to it. It was her old home back in California, the one where she had lived with her parents, when she led a normal life. Tears stung her eyes and she tried to blink them away. One escaped and rolled down her cheek, making her brush furiously at it.

The pain of her parents’ deaths was still so raw that at times like this it felt as though it would cripple her. It wasn’t just that she missed them, she was mad at them. Would they have wanted her to take the pills and live a ‘normal’ life? Since they had raised her with no knowledge of her channeler powers, it would seem that way. But how was she to know? They’d never even told her what she was, let alone discussed it.

The more she brushed the tears away, the more flowed. Sniffling, she dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve. Caitlin was in the shower and the last thing she wanted was for her to come out and find her crying again. After a long night of being the most amazing friend ever, in which she had literally let her cry on her shoulder, burdening Caitlin with more angst seemed cruel.

“
That’s so sad and beautiful,” Aiden’s voice came seemingly out of nowhere.

Startled, Eren spun around and dropped into a fighting stance, holding the paintbrush out as if it were a knife. Seeing Aiden standing in the arched opening to her bedroom with his hands behind his back, made her feel foolish. Maybe the music had been a bit too loud. There was no anger left when she looked at him, only a profound sadness and guilt. Had he meant her or the painting?

Her eyes flicked to the painting as she sniffled. “It’s my old home in California,” she said, hating how choked her voice was.

Aiden stepped forward and held something out to her, drawing her gaze back to him. It was a bouquet of paint brushes with colorful wooden handles. They were the expensive kind. Eren shuddered to think what a dozen of them would have cost him.

“
I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry. I should have told you, I was just so afraid that you would choose your old life over me,” he blurted out, his words all running together.

His eyes were glossy and his throat worked hard as he swallowed several times. The words stung her heart. That was exactly why she had been feeling guilty. Caitlin told her that Aiden was afraid and she felt stupid for not realizing it herself. Taking the bundle of paint brushes from him, she stepped close and took hold of his hand.

“
Does it have to be a choice between the two?” she asked gently.

Not looking up, he shook his head. “Of course not. I’d love you no matter what, even if you choose to suppress your power. We could make it work.”

The wall Eren had been building around her heart came crashing down. It wasn’t that she had decided to take the pills, just that she really didn’t want it to matter to him.

“
You’re amazing, you know that?” she said.

He looked up, pinning her to the spot with the defenseless look that softened his face. Eren never imagined a guy would look at her that way, as though she held his world in her hands. All thoughts of ever taking those pills fled. If he could love her so unconditionally, then she thought just maybe she could learn to accept what she was.

“
You’re the amazing one. No more secrets, I promise,” he said.

“
Good, because if I’m going to learn to be a channeler and a Rector, we’re going to need honesty between us.”

Aiden smiled so big it looked like it hurt. But the smile wilted as he wiped at a tear that still lingered on her cheek.

“
I don’t ever want to make you cry again,” he whispered.

Eren dropped her head and turned so her hair hid her face.

“
Are you done with the mushy stuff?” Fane asked from somewhere in the sitting room.

Rising up on the balls of her feet, Eren kissed Aiden lightly before dropping her paintbrush into a glass of water. She rubbed at her chin where she was sure she’d gotten at least a little paint, then freed her long black hair from its clip. It was still a bit damp from her shower. The inspiration to paint had struck her as she had stepped out and she knew if she hadn’t pulled her hair back she would have got paint in it. The bit on her chin was proof that she’d been right.

“
Yes, Fane,” she said with a sigh and a smile.

Aiden put his arms around her bare midriff, resting his head on her shoulder as he got a closer look at the painting. “You even captured the way the light bounces off the windows. How do you do that?”

His breath was warm against her cheek, a pleasant contrast to the cool, wet hair pressed against her neck. She could feel his heart beating through her back and became so lost in the sensation that she forgot what he’d said.