Changing the Game (23 page)

He turned to face her, tried for a smile. She didn’t smile back, so he raked his hands through his hair. “You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?”

She had no answer for him.

He inhaled, let it out. “Okay. Look, I know I hurt you that day. When you told me you loved me, I wasn’t thinking straight. All I heard was you telling me what to do. Telling me I had to go back to work. I had already heard my dad telling me, my mom telling me. And then on the other side I heard from Mick saying how you were manipulating me, how all you were interested in was the money and career aspect, that you didn’t care about me.”

She let out a small snort at that one but didn’t dignify it with a response.

“I know, I know. I should have known better than to listen to my brother. Believe me, he’s got a lot to answer for in all this. But the blame lies on me. All of the blame is on me. And I’m sorry. You laid your heart on the line, and I stomped on it as if it didn’t mean anything. I guess it kinda scared me when you said you loved me.”

She waited for more from him. Nothing.

“That’s it? It kinda scared you?”

“Yeah. I knew you and I were headed for . . . something. At some point. I just don’t know that I was ready for . . . it.”

She arched a brow. “It?”

“Yeah. You know. Love.”

She rolled her eyes. “You act as if love is some kind of communicable disease, Gavin.”

He shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I’m messing this up. I just wasn’t prepared for you to tell me you loved me in the midst of browbeating me about going back to work. I mean you’re my agent and you were my girlfriend—or something. I didn’t really know what we were to each other. And then all of a sudden you’re telling me you love me in front of my brother and my dad, and I’m not sure about anything anymore. And I knew I felt something big for you, but I was messed up over my dad, too, and I—”

She didn’t know what she’d expected from him, but this wasn’t it. He was stumbling over his words, and maybe she’d expected a straight out apology and declaration of love.

Stupid. Once again, reality hadn’t met her expectations.

When had it ever?

The sound of a horn honking was a giant slice of relief. This whole thing was mortifying. Elizabeth wasn’t sure she could put up with one more second of Gavin’s painful explanations.

“Look, Gavin. Let me make this easy for you. I’m not your agent anymore, and I’m not your ‘whatever’ or your ‘something,’ either. You’re off the hook. I’m sorry I embarrassed you in front of your brother and your father with my inept declaration of love. Trust me, it won’t happen again.”

He frowned. “That’s not what I’m trying to—”

She laid down the cup and grabbed her purse.

“We’re over. You want to know what we were to each other? Fuck buddies. A fling. Call it whatever you want. I mistook it for love. That’s on me, so don’t feel responsible. I’ll get over it. You should, too.”

“Elizabeth, wait.”

She wasn’t going to wait. She’d waited long enough. For five damn years she’d been in love with a man who was never going to be able to love her back. Not the way she needed him to.

Because he was incapable of loving her. Possibly incapable of loving anyone.

She walked out the door and slid into the taxi, keeping her gaze focused straight ahead. She wouldn’t look back.

Not anymore.

GAVIN SAT IN THE KITCHEN AND STARED AT ELIZABETH’S cup of coffee, now cold. He should toss it in the dishwasher, but he couldn’t seem to move.

How had he colossally fucked that up? Again. Twice now he’d hurt her.

Christ. He’d always been so good with women, could charm them, smooth talk them, convince them of anything he wanted.

And with the one woman he needed to be smooth with, he was like a tongue-tied teenager incapable of uttering a simple syllable, let alone get his point across. He hadn’t been able to tell her how he felt. He’d swung and missed.

What the hell was wrong with him? How hard was it to say he was sorry? How fucking difficult was it to tell a woman he loved her? It should have been so simple. He had the words in his head, and he couldn’t get them out. The most important conversation of his life and he’d struck out.

No, he hadn’t just struck out.

It was bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, and he was up to bat.

Facing down Elizabeth had been bigger than the World Series.

And he’d just lost the game. The biggest game of his life.

He’d lost the woman he loved.

Game over.

TWENTY-FOUR

“YOU GOING TO SIT AROUND MOPING ABOUT THIS FOREVER, or are you going to do something about it?”

Gavin knew he should have stayed home today instead of going to his parents’ to see his dad. He’d had a week out of town where he’d blissfully drowned his sorrows in baseball and at the bar. He’d sucked at his game, which hadn’t helped his mood any, and the bar hadn’t offered any answers, either. Neither had the women who’d tried to approach him. He wasn’t interested in any of them, because they weren’t beautiful redheads with emerald green eyes and challenging attitudes.

Now he was home, and home reminded him of Lizzie, too. So he’d gone to his parents, figuring he could do some fix-it work for his dad. He visited with his father, who hadn’t said anything about Elizabeth. His mother, on the other hand . . .

“Nothing to do about it, Mom. It’s over. I tried to talk to her and only succeeded in screwing things up again.”

She stood in the kitchen chopping vegetables but paused to offer him a not-so-sympathetic look. “I’ve never known you to be a quitter, Gavin.”

“And you only get so many strikes before you’re out.”

She waved the paring knife at him. “Don’t try that baseball analogy on me, mister. Elizabeth isn’t a bat that you can swing, try three times, and go sit down when you don’t get a hit. She’s a woman you claim to love. You get out there and keep trying until you get her back.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It’s not easy. It’s hard. Love is hard, just like baseball. You think it should come easy to you just like all the other women in your life since you became famous.”

He laughed. “I’m hardly famous, Mom.”

“You’re not a nobody, either. And you need to admit that you’re well known, especially around here. It’s not like you’ve had to go trolling for women since you went to the major leagues.”

His mom had said “trolling for women.” Jeez. “Okay, I admit women have been pretty available.”

“Exactly my point. And then you hook up with Elizabeth, and suddenly it’s not so easy. You have to work at the relationship.”

“No, she’s definitely not easy. In fact she’s been a giant rockin’ pain in my ass since we first got together.”

She continued to slice carrots. “Yeah, and you’re a real walk in the park.”

“Hey.”

She laid the knife down and looked at him. “Well, let’s just take it from her side. She’s your agent, and she’s been in love with you for years, but at the same time she has to see you on the arm of these bimbos year after year and not say anything. Then suddenly you show interest in her, and she probably thinks she’s just going to be another notch on your bedpost. How’s she supposed to react to that? A little standoffish, I imagine.”

Gavin frowned. “Wait. What? She’s been in love with me for years? Where did that come from?”

His mother rolled her eyes. “Men are so dense sometimes. I guess I wasn’t supposed to say anything about that, but yes, Gavin, Elizabeth has been in love with you for many years. She just never said anything to you about it because of your professional relationship.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t, because she didn’t intend to ever do anything about it.”

Until that night in Florida when he made the first move. And everything changed between them. And before then. He remembered the night Mick fired her. That kiss that had knocked him out of his shoes. And the look in her eyes that had made him wonder what the hell was going on. No wonder she was so reluctant, and so willing to keep things light and easy between them.

She hadn’t wanted him to know. And she’d been scared.

“I never knew, Mom. Why didn’t she tell me?”

“Because she was guarding her heart against you, because you could hurt her.”

Aw, hell. “And that’s exactly what I did.”

“Yes, you did. The question is, are you going to give up on her now, or are you going to fight for her?”

ELIZABETH BURIED HERSELF IN HER WORK. HAVING two new clients helped with that. There were contractual issues to go over, and she’d met with them to discuss their current team contracts and their career goals, which meant more travel. While she was on the road, she’d also stopped in at a few of the games of her other clients to meet with them and give them a little attention.

Getting out of town again had been the best thing for her. She’d needed to clear her head.

Now that she was back she intended to concentrate on her client portfolio and give all her clients her attention. She’d given one client too much of her time for too long.

That was over and done with. Time to focus on her career, on what she loved, on the one thing that fulfilled her and loved her back.

Besides, with her assistant on vacation for two weeks, she was utterly swamped.

Perfect. It would give her a chance to clean up and reorganize her office, something she desperately needed to do.

She was on the floor, her head buried in a box of files when her door opened.

“That had better be either my lunch or more boxes.”

“Neither, sorry.”

She whipped around to see Mick standing in her doorway.

She stood, wiped her hands down her skirt, not at all mentally armed for this battle. “Look, I’ve stayed away. What the hell more could you possibly want from me?”

“Is it okay if I come in?”

Wary, she motioned with her hand. He walked in and shut the door.

“Your receptionist sent me back. She seemed to be in a hurry to head out to lunch.”

Damn Felicia and her crazy diets. Hunger made her stupid.

“You’re here. Might as well sit down. Do you want some water?”

“That would be good, thanks.”

He was being polite. That was new. She fixed him and herself a glass, handed his to him, and took a seat behind her desk. Her spacious office suddenly seemed too small as she waited for him to say whatever it was he came to say. Finally, she tired of the suspense.

“Why are you here, Mick?”

“To apologize for being so hard on you. I’ve never been one to carry a grudge, and for some reason with you I have been.” He stood, dragged his fingers through his hair. “I’ve never been in love before. It’s made me a little crazy and overprotective of Tara and Nathan. And what you did really set me off.”

“I—”

He held up his hand. “Let me finish, please.”

“Okay.”

“What you did hurt them. And I know you realized it and you fixed it. You apologized over and over again, and made peace with both of them. You’re even friends with Tara now. But I couldn’t let it go. For some reason I just couldn’t let it go. I kept on punishing you. And when you and Gavin got together, I didn’t want that to happen. I wanted you out of my life, out of Tara and Nathan’s lives, too. Seeing how happy Gavin was with you made me think we might never get away from you. It also made me think I made a mistake firing you.”

She had no idea what to say to that, so she said nothing while he paced and talked.

He stopped, turned to face her. “I hate Don Davis. I signed with him because you hated him, too. I knew he was your nemesis, that his number one goal in life was to take business away from you. I did it to get back at you, to hurt you the way you hurt the people I love. And maybe it did hurt you, but it hurt me, too. He doesn’t know shit about promoting me and my career the way you did.”

Wow. Just . . . wow.

“I mean, obviously, I can’t have you throwing women at me anymore. Not with Tara in my life. But you really understood me and my career goals and what was important to me. And you listened. Davis doesn’t listen. He doesn’t know me and my family and my life like you do.”

He sat in the chair and faced her. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth.”

She got up and moved around the desk and sat in the chair next to his. “I’m sorry, too, Mick. Truly sorry for what I did to Tara and Nathan. I do learn from my mistakes and try never to make them again. I’ve missed having you as a client and as my friend. Losing you as a client hurt me professionally. Losing your friendship hurt me on a much deeper level.

“If you’d like, I can recommend some very good agents who aren’t as slimy as Don Davis, people who’ll listen to you and who’ll be very good for your career.”

He arched a brow. “You’d do that?”

“Of course. I’ve always wanted what was best for you. And Tara’s my friend. Your career is beneficial to her, too.”

“How about I re-sign with you as soon as I can get out from under the Davis Agency?”

She leaned back in the chair. “You’d want to work with me again?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know, Mick. There’s a lot of history, not all of it good.”

“And sometimes you have to leave the past in the past. We had a great working relationship. You get me. And your negotiation skills are the best out there.”

She smiled. “They are, aren’t they?”

He laughed. “That’s what I like about you—your humility.”

“Can’t have humility in my job. Not when it counts the most.”

“I signed with him for a year, told him I wanted to test the waters. When the contract’s up for renewal, you and I will talk. If you’re interested . . .”

“You know I will be.”

He stood. “I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you. And I’m sorry I came between you and Gavin.”

Her smile died. “You wouldn’t have come between your brother and me if he hadn’t allowed it. It just wasn’t meant to be. Too much conflict there.”

“Is that Gavin talking, or you deciding it for him?”

She shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter, does it? You heard him that day at your dad’s house.”

“Yeah, I did. And I was part of it, instigating it all. I can’t apologize enough for it. You have every right to kick my ass forever for it.”

She lifted her gaze to his. “I think there’s been enough ass kicking to go around for a lifetime, don’t you think?”

“Probably, but I still deserve it. Tara sure did her part when she found out. She was mad as hell at me.”

Her lips lifted. “Well, that’s good enough, then. You don’t need me to add to it.”

“Still, I feel bad. I should have butted out. What’s between you and Gavin is none of my business and never should have been.”

She turned away to stare out the window. “There isn’t anything between us. Not anymore.”

“He loves you, Liz.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

He laid his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Yeah, he does. He’s never been in love before, and loving you scared him as much as my dad’s heart attack did. He didn’t know how to handle it. Give him another chance.”

“Thanks, but I gave him all the chances he’s going to get. It’s better this way.”

“Now who’s scared?”

Her eyes widened. “Me? I’m not scared. I’m sad. And maybe a little fed up. I gave everything and it didn’t work out. He didn’t love me.”

“Try harder.”

“What?”

“Try harder. You didn’t try hard enough.”

She laughed. “Please. I gave everything to Gavin. I gave him my heart, and he threw it back in my face. I don’t know what more I could possibly give.”

“Give him a chance. First, he’s a guy. And he’s never been in love before.”

“Oh, and I have?”

“Yeah, but you’re a woman. It’s like being a female agent in this field of sports where you’re surrounded by all these men. You have to work twice as hard at it to be taken seriously. But you’re also twice as good as most of them.”

“Well, thanks for that.”

“Love’s the same way. Women are so much better at it. Better at communicating what’s in their hearts, better at showing the one they love how they feel. So maybe this was your first time, too, but you obviously handled it better than Gavin did. And he’s fumbling it bad, and he’s fucked it up, and now he doesn’t know how to fix it, but he’s trying. Or he wants to try. And he’s afraid to fuck it up again.”

She wrapped her arms around her middle. “I can’t. I just . . . can’t.”

He nodded. “That’s your call, but I hope you’ll at least think about it. He’s worth it, Liz. And I really do think you two are good for each other. Give him another shot.”

“Thanks, Mick. For coming here, for talking to me, and for giving me another chance.”

He pulled her into a hug. “You’re family, Elizabeth. I’m sorry I forgot that for a while.”

He left, and she fell into her desk chair, kind of stunned that Mick had been here. She thought about everything he’d said about her and about Gavin.

She was trying so hard to get over him. A plea from his brother on his behalf wasn’t going to change her mind.

And she wasn’t going to go to him. She’d done that too many times already.

No matter what Mick said, no matter how much her heart hurt, no matter how much she missed Gavin, she couldn’t take that step.

Not this time.

She threw herself back into her office project, until her phone rang. She picked it up, surprised to hear Dedrick Coleman on the line.

“Dedrick, how are you?”

“Fine, Elizabeth, and you?”

“Great, thanks. What can I do for you?”

“You can possibly become my agent, if you’re interested.”

Wow. Was it going to be a good day or what? “Definitely interested. Is your contract up with your current agent?”

“Yeah. The guy is a dumb-ass. Overlooked some clauses in my last contract and tied me up with a few things that made me pretty unhappy.”

“That’s not good.”

“I’ve given him his thirty days so he knows I’m looking. Can we talk?”

“Certainly. What does your schedule look like?”

“Well, you can see our game schedule if you look it up. Problem is, my grandparents are flying in on Saturday for this big anniversary party we’re planning for them, and I’d like to get this settled one way or another as soon as possible. I don’t want it weighing on my mind with my grandparents being here and Shawnelle breathing down my neck about it. She’s already stressed enough about the party.”

“I understand. My calendar is clear the next few days. You just let me know when you’d like to meet.”

“We have a day game tomorrow. Can you come to the game? Shawnelle would love to see you, and we can go somewhere right after, have a chat, and hopefully get things ironed out.”