Changing Habits: A Short Story (A Giulia Driscoll Mystery) (4 page)

VII

At ten o’clock the next morning, Giulia, Frank, Father Carlos, and Father Robert sat in the Bishop’s office. Robert’s face was a stoic mask. Carlos looked defeated. Giulia and Frank took turns summarizing the case, using everything Robert’s wife had told Giulia yesterday and Robert had told both of them last night, when a similar meeting had taken place at St. Thomas’.

The Bishop, known for his strict adherence to the letter of the law, blistered Robert’s ears for fifteen minutes straight. Then he called for coffee and forced Robert and Carlos to drink something.

“Now we will become practical. Carlos, this is not your fault. Well, it is, but only because you’re overworked and always willing to believe everyone is as honest as you. Robert, you have always received stellar reports from every priest you’ve worked under. You have a gift for ministry which should not be wasted. I’ve talked to a good friend at Saint Luke’s about you.”

Robert finally spoke. “The Lutheran church?”

“Yes. He’s married to a former nun—” the Bishop nodded at Giulia— “and has insight into this type of situation. You have an appointment with him today at three. If everything goes as planned, and I will make sure it does, you will be quietly defrocked and go through an abbreviated seminary course before being ordained as a Lutheran priest.”

Robert opened his mouth but nothing came out.

“You’re welcome,” the Bishop said. “When I stand before my eternal Judge, I wouldn’t care to explain why I sent a promising young priest to jail and let his wife and children starve in the street. The Lutherans aren’t Holy Mother Church, but we won’t hold that against them in this case.” A quick smile lit his features. “As to the thefts of Church property, we will meet with the pastors involved and with the investigating officers. Everything possible will be done.”

Robert’s spine appeared to collapse. Carlos held him up and then cuffed the back of his head.

“Thank Giulia for this, idiot. Think what would’ve happened if she hadn’t spent all day yesterday talking to the police and the Bishop on your behalf.”

One weight dropped from Giulia’s shoulders. Only several dozen remained. But at least one of them wasn’t choosing which bed sheet to wear on Saturday.

VIII

At eight o’clock Saturday morning, Giulia held up her violet wool coat to test its weight. “Laurel, I can’t put this over the dress. It weighs a ton.”

Laurel pulled one more curl through Giulia’s hair combs. “You’ll be outside for all of ten minutes between here and the church and the reception. It’s a cold out but sunny. You can handle it.”

“True. My brain isn’t functioning. Stop fussing with my hair. Where’s Sidney?”

“She’ll be here. Look at me. Now your hair is symmetrical.”

Giulia sat in one of the kitchen chairs. “If I had anything in my stomach I’d throw it up.”

“No you wouldn’t because it’d wreck your makeup and might get on that dress of which I am utterly jealous.”

The doorbell rang.

“See? This has to be Sidney.” Laurel opened it and Sidney ran into the apartment.

“I’m so sorry! Belle spit on Olivier right as we were leaving and he had to change. You look epic! Where did you find that dress? Why have you been keeping it secret?”

Giulia tried not to laugh. “Why do those alpacas hate your husband so much?”

“I think they’re jealous. Whenever they see us kiss, they butt against their fence like they want to trample him. Here, here, here.” She set a cardboard box on the table. “I’ll open it. Don’t risk breaking a nail.”

She stripped off the packing tape and revealed three white Christmas roses nestled in pale yellow winter jasmine. Next to them, a Victorian posy-style bouquet with another rose surrounded by more jasmine and scattered hollyberries. “Tell me you love them so I don’t break my mother’s heart.”

“They’re beautiful. They’re perfect. Your mother is an angel.”

Sidney bounced in place. “Laurel, you put the flowers on her. I’m too antsy.”

Giulia didn’t stir while Laurel set the headband-shaped comb in the top of Giulia’s hair.

Her two friends stepped back and appraised her.

“You look like you’re in a 1920s revival of
A Midsummer Night’s Dream,
” Laurel said.

“Is that good?”

“It’s epic.” Sidney took out her phone. “I have to Tweet this. Get the bouquet, I want the full effect.”

Giulia stood and held the Victorian-style posy as though she were walking down the aisle.

Sidney took the picture. While she sent it, Laurel said, “It’s twenty after. We have to leave now, now, now. Where are your boots?”

Giulia pointed. “On the mat by the door.”

“Sit and hold up that skirt. Sidney, give me a hand. No, don’t bother with the coat, the dress is too important to risk. Okay, it’s wedding time.”

They got Giulia down the stairs and into Laurel’s SUV. Giulia’s hands started to shake. Laurel poked her. “Calm down. This is nowhere near as bad as teaching high school every day for umpteen years, right?”

“Tell my stomach that.”

Laurel laughed. “It’s a relief to see that the unflappable Giulia Falcone at least freaks out at her impending marriage. Seriously, you’ll nail this. I promise not to trip on the carpet if you promise not to keel over on the altar.”

“I don’t dare. Sidney would Tweet it to everyone in the known universe.” The thought buoyed her. She could and would make it through this day without becoming a Wedding Fail video on YouTube.

She and Laurel walked into the church vestibule at quarter to nine.

“Sit down and I’ll switch your boots for your shoes.”

Giulia was silent for so long, Laurel looked up from her position on the cold floor. “Giulia?”

“I forgot my shoes.”

“You what?”

“They’re in a box on the kitchen table.” Giulia stared at her stockinged feet, her voice flat. “I didn’t even bring flip-flops for the reception.”

Laurel grabbed her cell phone and sent a text. A minute later, Sidney came running in.

“What happened?”

“Her shoes are still in her apartment. I’m size ten. What size are you?”

“Six. Too small.”

No one moved for a moment. Then Sidney ran back through the main doors into the church. An eternity later that turned out to be about three minutes by the clock, Sidney came back with Frank’s mother, Laurel’s partner Anya, and Frank’s sisters-in-law Tina and Darlene.

Giulia, still frozen to her chair, looked up at their helpless faces and finally saw the humor of the situation.

“Guys, I’ll go barefoot. It works with the
Midsummer Night’s Dream
flowers.” When Laurel gave her a skeptical look, Giulia added, “As long as all of you tell Frank this doesn’t equal a promise to be immediately barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen.”

Frank’s mother took off her right shoe. “Try this.”

“It’s got a three-inch heel.” Giulia obliged anyway. “It’s about a half-size too big, but I could make it work.” She put on the other one. “Somebody help me stand up?”

Laurel and Sidney each took an arm and Giulia got vertical. She took one tentative step, another… and tripped out of the shoe and into Tina’s arms.

“Oh, God, did we rip the dress?” Laurel knelt next to her.

“I let go because the lace is fragile,” Sidney said. “Did you?”

“Yes. I think so.”

The inner doors opened. Forty-five people turned to see Giulia flopped against one woman’s breasts with two other women feeling up her armpits. Dead silence.

Giulia started to laugh. The ushers closed the doors faster than imposing church doors were designed to move. After another moment, all seven women were laughing. Giulia slipped out of the other three-inch heel. Darlene braced Tina. Tina heaved herself forward. Sidney and Laurel helped Giulia balance. Frank’s mother put her shoes back on.

Giulia smoothed the satin skirt. “You all are wonderful. Am I wrinkled? Are the flowers still attached?”

Sidney checked the flowers. Laurel made a circuit of the dress.

“You’re all set,” Sidney said.

“The dress is intact,” Laurel said.

Giulia took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Frank’s mother smiled at her. “My son chose well. I’ll tell the organist to start.”

Giulia picked up her bouquet and stood with Laurel in the vestibule for one more minute. The doors opened. The organist began the processional, but it wasn’t the music Giulia and Frank had chosen. Giulia knew what it was… it was…

Laurel paced into the church. Giulia caught Sidney’s eye in the front row. Sidney clapped her hands over her mouth. Her whole body shook with laughter.

Frank stepped into the center of the sanctuary and saw Giulia in her wedding dress. She beamed at the open-mouthed grin on his face.

Giulia Falcone, formerly Sister Mary Regina Coelis, took her first step down the aisle to the wedding processional from
The Sound of Music
.

About the Author

Baker of brownies and tormenter of characters, Alice Loweecey recently celebrated her thirtieth year outside the convent. She grew up watching Hammer horror films and Scooby-Doo mysteries, which explains a whole lot. When she’s not creating trouble for Giulia Falcone-Driscoll, she can be found growing her own vegetables (in summer) and cooking with them (the rest of the year).

Don’t Miss the 1
st
Book in the New Series

NUN TOO SOON

Alice Loweecey

A Giulia Driscoll Mystery (#1)

Giulia Falcone-Driscoll has just taken on her first impossible client: The Silk Tie Killer. He’s hired Driscoll Investigations to prove his innocence and they have only thirteen days to accomplish it. Talk about being tried in the media. Everyone in town is sure Roger Fitch strangled his girlfriend with one of his silk neckties. And then there’s the local TMZ wannabes—The Scoop—stalking Giulia and her client for sleazy sound bites.

On top of all that, her assistant’s first baby is due any second, her scary smart admin still doesn’t relate well to humans, and her police detective husband insists her client is guilty. About this marriage thing—it’s unknown territory, but it sure beats ten years of living with 150 nuns.

Giulia’s ownership of Driscoll Investigations hasn’t changed her passion for justice from her convent years. But the more dirt she digs up, the more she’s worried her efforts will help a murderer escape. As the client accuses DI of dragging its heels on purpose, Giulia thinks The Silk Tie Killer might be choosing one of his ties for her own neck.

Read all about it and/or grab the book from Amazon

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